| Fight or let go?
Posted: 11/10/2005 4:47:49 PM | | So what's the deal. I found the perfect girl.....but, she's not sure if she wants to get back with her ex or try something new (with me)! When do you know when to fight for what you believe in or want....or do you let them go and if they come back then it was meant to be? Or do I just forget the whole thing. We hit it off and spend hours a day talking about everything. I'm just not sure I want to keep it up and eventually fall for her when there is such a big risk. Anyway, let me know what you think. | |
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| Fight or let go?
Posted: 11/10/2005 5:00:47 PM | Well, if he "fights" for her, and you don't, that may not be too favourable for you. Offer up a heightened expression of interest and appreciation for her, be romantic and respectful. In the end, the decision is not yours.
Our company motto is: Show up - Do Your Best - Tell The Truth - Let Go Of The Outcome | |
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| Fight or let go?
Posted: 11/10/2005 5:12:06 PM | | Theres plenty of fish......Just, dont let her go, let her be. You wont prevent her from getting back with her ex by fighting for it. That may drive her away. There is nothing you can do. She will decide. Be patient and wait it out, or dont and move on. But it wont do you any good to stress about it because she is going to do what she is going to do. | |
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| Fight or let go?
Posted: 11/10/2005 5:52:02 PM | | hoenstly she wants to see you fight for her... but dont push her into anything... she wants to know that you'l be there for her thick and thin... her and her ex must of had some problems seeings how they are ex's she wants you to fight but she wants to feel she made this decision on her own | |
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| Fight or let go?
Posted: 11/10/2005 9:33:12 PM | | I would have to say not to fight for her. Let her know that you care for her and that you hope that she makes the right decision to be with you and let it go. When we fight for things (meaning hoping to influence someones decision) we wind up controlling the out come. The ending is based on something we created not as what the other person has truely decided in their heart. If people do not decide for themselves it will never last. If we twist, control or distort another person all we really love is the reflection of our own image inside their eyes. Good luck! | |
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| Fight or let go?
Posted: 11/10/2005 11:29:59 PM | | You should fight under the pretense that you are going to let go. This way you can ride off into the sunset of anonymity, always being in her thoughts as the great guy whom SHE let go. | |
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| Fight or let go?
Posted: 11/11/2005 1:03:13 AM | | man I feel for you...I'm in same boat.....and i half fought half let go...she ended up thinking I'm the one confused....but either way I think its a losing situation.....these women who are still caught up in ther exs or have recently broken up with them are not in the right mental state to start another relationship...or anything close to it.....you're either going to end up as a freind eventually...or be a rebound guy....I say get out before u get your heart busted like I did, it sucks man....walk away from it. Trust me. It's a dangerous scenario! | |
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| Fight or let go?
Posted: 11/11/2005 1:07:54 AM | | ya gotta let go....... if she comes back..great! other than that, problems.....! | |
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| Fight or let go?
Posted: 11/11/2005 1:13:18 AM | | this is going to sound funny after the fight ive put up last week but yes let go there are plenty of fish in the sea and healthy ones too without baggage..... | |
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| Fight or let go?
Posted: 11/11/2005 3:52:40 AM | As she obviously has various matters to sort through within the confines of herself, it would be best to let her go, for the time being.
It is apparent on her behalf, that is she is well aware of your interest in her.
Don’t wait forever for her decision though; you owe yourself that much. | |
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| Fight or let go?
Posted: 11/11/2005 5:29:51 AM | It is going to be a risk, but some risks are worth taking. Fight for her. | |
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| Fight or let go?
Posted: 11/11/2005 5:35:49 AM | | I believe you should just go with the flow. Unless a person's heart is free and open to start a new relationship, you're asking for trouble if you try and intervene (fight for) and change that person's heart if they are still attached to someone else in any way, shape or form. Stay in communication, develop the friendship, be available, but be strong for yourself emotionally, use self control, and let her find her own way to becoming truly free first ... If it's meant to be, it will ... The risk is yours to take, but life's a multitude of risks, so just see this another experience on the journey ... Peace. | |
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| Fight or let go?
Posted: 11/11/2005 5:42:06 AM | | well if she is having doubts right at the beginning then what's the point. If I wanted to date a guy and he said well I'm thinking bout getting back with my ex then obviously he isn't over her and how can something that hasn't even started compare so I'd walk away xjx | |
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| Fight or let go?
Posted: 11/11/2005 6:03:08 AM | | I should have known better, she was hurt, the X drank to much, smoked to much and was basically an a__hole, she wasnt happy but still loved him, we met and got along great, even though we fell in love. he was still there in the past, no problem, until he keeled over with a massive heart attack, he didnt die, quad bypass, she relizes that hey now he cant drink, smoke and he needs me, she broke my heart, she let him come back to recoup for 2 months, but guess what he was still an a__hole, didnt last, but my trust was broken along with my heart, that was a year ago, yes there are plenty of other fish and plenty of types of baggage, but make sure they are clean and free of the net...if not let it go,it will hurt but your heart will thank you later for the bigger pain you saved it from . pin | |
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| Fight or let go?
Posted: 11/11/2005 9:30:07 AM | Thanks everone. I really do think the best thing to do is let her go. It's just hard because I am falling for her. It seems like we are the perfect match and it would go great, but I think she will always wonder what would have happened if she went back to her ex. Plus I don't want her to think I'm just going to sit here on the back burner indefinetly. Oh well guess I will keep looking. Thanks for all the input. | |
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| Fight or let go?
Posted: 11/11/2005 9:41:18 AM | | rswmo...if you were the perfect match she wouldn't be considering her ex AT ALL. | |
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| Fight or let go?
Posted: 11/11/2005 3:00:18 PM | Some things are worth fighting for. I had a good friend that wasn't over an ex entirely and he got involved with someone else. The difference was that he KNEW the old girflriend was no good for him and there was no chance of him going back to her.
The way you phrase it makes it kind of sound like this is the type of person who wants to have their cake and eat it to. She wants to be with someone, but if she thought she could work it out with the ex she would opt for the ex.
My advice is to tell her that you think she's great... but you'd rather be friends. I know that may sound lame -- at least you could be the one calling the shots and save yourself greater pain down the road. If it's really meant to be, it'll work out. Otherwise maybe you'll get a great friend out of the deal. | |
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| Fight or let go?
Posted: 11/14/2005 11:38:44 PM | There are three features I firmly believe when it comes to a potential partner:
- don't chase,
- don't fight,
- don't compete.
One has to feel it in his/her heart that you are the best (qualities, values, principles)
buzz | |
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| Fight or let go?
Posted: 11/15/2005 3:58:47 AM | | If someone is not over an ex I believe their heart is not yet ready for someone else. What this sounds like is she has found solace in you. I would back away from this one. Find someone who is totally free to dig you. | |
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| Fight or let go?
Posted: 11/15/2005 7:42:16 AM | | here let me help..as for fighting it won't help a heart feels love she may love you one way and him the other way its best to step aside let her heart deal with it..if you fight it might hurt you in the end..i found out the hard way its best to let her find what she wants and if she loves you then she's be in your arms soon if she don't then you haven't gave your 100% of love to her and the pains not to bad to deal with..just let her find her heart you keep your head up..... | |
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| Fight or let go?
Posted: 11/15/2005 7:48:28 AM | hey i say give it up she does not know what she want find some on who want you and can make there minds up and if ya'll do hook up then it was ment to be just don't sit around waitting you could miss the one that was really ment for you.
aj | |
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| Fight or let go?
Posted: 11/15/2005 8:11:18 AM | | The perfect girl? How is this so, if she is confused between choosing you or her ex? "Perfection" is when you meet the girl that absolutely knows she wants to be with you. Why set yourself up? | |
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| Fight or let go?
Posted: 11/15/2005 9:08:07 AM | | Fight to get her to give you a try, and then if she wants the other guy anyway, let her go. Don't be a pest though. Just crank up the romance until she can't help herself. | |
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| Fight or let go?
Posted: 11/15/2005 9:49:16 AM | | i disagree sorry but if you fight..it will do more harm then anything.a girl needs room to breath if your all over them like a web it makes them jump away and look for that room just step back be there to wipe her tears..show her your heart not whats in your pants but in your heart..never think of what to say to her feel what should be said..the heart beats one way your mind tends to forget and makes up lies...beleive in your heart and thats where the caring comes from... | |
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| ?
Posted: 11/15/2005 10:03:27 AM | If your even asking this you have lost her... If she is gonna make up with x apparently u pushed her away... or she realizes that she is better off with her x... and if there was nothing serious in the first place... y expect something if you went into a relationship under the pretences of being just a friend or a cry post... in any realtionship state your intentions.. don't beat round the bush... you will only complicate things.. and trust me relationships r complicated enough without wondering what the other wants.. or needs ... or requires of you... >>In Essence.. you shouldn't have to fight.. not midevil times just let your partner know how u feel.. or the one u admire know how u feel.. or how you feel about a decision they will make> Honnesty is the root of any realationship!! Without out it your left with uncertainty and ambiguity... SO there is not engough information given for me to make a conclusion.. like the rest^^^.. I would like the whole story... before i even attempt to help... but hopefully this helps a lil and for others in the same "boat" ....sry.. and GOOD LUCK!!!
Matt :D | |
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