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Posted: 11/12/2005 5:26:31 PM | | After my last relationship ended, and it wasnt long ago, I feel like running. Dont understand why. I will still feel heartbroken no matter where I live right now. Maybe because we wont be in the same city and I wont be tempted to see her or her me for that matter. Will it be easier if I lived elsewhere? Have you felt like running after youve been dumped? We still care about each other, she has a different agenda and obviously needs her freedom to find her purpose. Maybe she's doing the running. | |
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Posted: 11/12/2005 5:42:36 PM | | I don't know, soup. I think sometimes a change is good, but I have also found that wherever you go....there you are. I think she was a silly girl to let you go, but you'll find one soon that is smarter! | |
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Posted: 11/12/2005 5:50:33 PM | Thanx Simmah,  Im not used to this emotion, kind of a rookie at joining the human race still. They say what doesnt kill us can make us stronger. Just a matter of time to find that strengh I guess. | |
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Posted: 11/12/2005 8:53:56 PM | Hi,
I can empathize with the feeling to just run. My wife of 14 years and 7 children did exactly that to me in July of 04. Actually she dropped me off at my brothers house and took all the kids (and everything we owned as well) and vanished with another guy. (I know where she is..well what state and city anyways) I did manage to arrange a kidnapping and reaquired three of my children since then. However I am still unable to deal with the emotions and anger of this unexpected loss. She has offered no answers or reason either...In fact I had to resort to some pretty horrid threats to simply get her to speak to me at all....from those few brief conversations she tells me she doesnt know why she left...that she still loves me... but is unwilling to come back and simply figure things out... personally I know I am better off without such an unstable person in my life... Its unfortunate there are children involved particularly so many of them... I got my three oldest daughters (ages 14,10,and 9) this past august.. the other 4 I havent seen since she left. I could go and seek her out.. but I am afraid of what I am capable of doing to both her and her new BF, That is a situation which would get newsworthy on a national scale for the level of anger inside me if you know what I mean. Seeking advice from therapy would be to know avail to me... I know myself better than anybody else does and the best they could offer would be an unlimited supply of drugs to pacify my emotions.. In many respects i have come a long ways since she left and have finally given up hope of fixing things with her... but i have allowed myself to become very bitter and hopelessly (I say that because thats how it seems eventhough that may not be how it really is) depressed. I am unable to break free of the feelings I carry and i have retreated into virtual isolation. i am self employed and work from home... I have no contact outside of my computer... I have no friends whatsoever... although I could make some friends online I havent the desire to do so. I dont even care to be involved in any of the hobbies or things I once enjoyed. My family thinks I am suicidal... I am not quite there yet but i am no longer afraid of death... I do very much enjoy reading over these forums as it actually is comforting to know I am not alone in feeling the way I do, It would seem the only hobby I have is to read these postings and profiles....but I dont entertain any real hopes of actually meeting somebody on here. Dont get me wrong Its not that I feel unworthy or carry some inferiority complex its just that my observations on women who come to these sites and post their profiles are for the most part not in any way serious. This may not be true of some of them but it is by and large the majority. I am thankful at least to have some outlet for my emotions in the company of those who might identify with me and to that I give my thanks and I wish you all Good Luck. | |
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Posted: 11/13/2005 8:17:26 AM | Wow, sorry to hear about your loss. I know its hard but for me there are no feelings of anger or vengeance against her. I truly love this woman and could never do anything to hurt her. I follow a spirituality which taught me to pray for those who hurt me. It is an important tool and without it life would be difficult. I understand the isolation thing but My children are not living with me. It must be hard for your kids feeling that resentment under their roof. At least you know yourself well enough to know you cant confront her right now. I cant imagine wgat it would be like if someone uprooted my children from my life. Hope there is a day when you can at least talk to your ex to get an explanation at least. I had an explanation from the woman I was with and even though it hurts, I know where she is coming from. You need some closure on this my friend, resentment sucks the energy and spirit form our soul, dont give in to it. Wishing you the best. Nosoup | |
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Posted: 11/13/2005 9:18:15 AM | | You can't run from your past, no matter how far you move away - it is inside of you. I would suggest avoiding places you know she will be, and make sure you aren't going out of your way to see her, but to move totally away - unless there are other reasons, I dont' think it will help the situation. Sometimes we just have to grin and bear it until the pain fades. | |
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Posted: 11/13/2005 9:57:32 PM | nosoup
I dont think that day will come. she has serious "issues" she had left me many times before and try as I might i never recieved an explanation for any of her irrational actions. I too was raised in the best of christian homes and I have forgiven her things which you cant imagine. I always felt good about myself for the depths of my ability to forgive and never thought I would see the day I could no longer do so for her. let me cite one past example of things she has done and I have forgiven..In 94 we were living in salina kansas and apparently a girlfriend of hers was interested in me and plotted to break us up. she told my wife I was sleeping with her, this wasnt true but instead of telling me what was said my wife left me and started seeing another guy..moved in with him..I was dumbfounded and I literally kidnapped her.. grabbed her out of his car and drove her home..after hours of simply asking her what was the matter..being polite but demanding..she broke down and started crying saying she was sorry and she didnt know why she did it...still not telling me what she had been told about me. Mind you she wasnt afraid of me so that wasnt an issue here. we didnt really patch up much but brushed it under the table..I have begged her to get therapy with or without me, no avail. several weeks went by uneventfully, I was driving a taxi at the time and working 7 am to 7 pm. when it was slow I went home. one night at 5 am my father called me and told me some unexpected news. he had cancer and we had known it for years but we had been told he was in remission. In this call he said it had spread to his brain...he had only days to maybe a week to live tops...he asked us to come say our goodbyes..particularly he wanted to tell his only grandchild (our only daughter at the time) goodbye.. I told my wife I was turning in the cab and getting my car...be ready when I got back..when I returned...she had fled with our daughter! my father did more for her than her parents ever did..loved her far more than she deserves...and in the end my father died without ever saying goodbye to any of us..knowing what she had done and worried for me...i chased her halfway across the country before giving up to try to get to NC where he was living...He died hours before I arrived. four months later she called begging to come home. Only then did she tell me what her girlfriend had said...You see she left with her and one of her friends...They took her to Dallas Tx and dropped her and our daughter off in a bad neighborhood after robbing her of the $1500 she took when she left..of course her GF showed up at my house 12 hours later to "console" me. Had I not revealed that fact she would still have remained silent and only said I dont know to my questions of why she wasnt honest with me to begin with. I could go on for hours with similar stories...It becomes clear why I cant forgive.... my anger towards her will never abate. I can only move on and love another and let my family confront my ex....for I know I will do something terrible should I ever get the chance to do so. concidering how loving and kind I am....this is hard for me to even imagine ya know? | |
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Posted: 11/14/2005 7:53:01 PM | | Wow, sounds like she is the biggest runner of us all so far. Hope you find that special someone in your life that we all hope to find. | |
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Posted: 11/14/2005 8:07:45 PM | | you're not the only one......running is my security blanket, I can get up and leave town for the weekend, so I don't have to deal with ex-bf issues.......its just much simplier when you don't have to face the evil ex face-to-face......much easier for me to move on to, because I get up and run to other places and meet new people. | |
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Tinkle
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Joined: 11/2/2005
Msg: 10 | |
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Posted: 11/15/2005 2:16:47 AM | | Forest Gump felt the same way. My guess is, whereever you go there you are, so moving just for that, well, I'd wait. Up to u though. Good luck with it. | |
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Posted: 11/15/2005 7:11:49 AM | | mrrobbnc2000- you are scary - you are on here opening admitting to KIDNAPPING your wife, and children, forceable confinement (you said you kept her for hours etc...) and then chased her across country - I think there is much more to this than your side of it, and with this story, you would scare the beegeebies out of the vast majority of women!! | |
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Posted: 11/15/2005 7:37:59 AM | that just happen to me it was like she said i need to get away i need time alone me thinking ok cause love will hold us together..it will be fine lmao the next thing she says is ummmm i'm seeing a DOC and he said i should stop calling till i know what i want it has nothen to do with you it has to do with me..it has to do with my pass.now she left me with my 4m old son.and took my heart sure i still cry for her but i have to keep my head up..right now my son's my life i hold him like a gun on my hip..a lot of girls say oh your a dad and walk away and you know what i don't care my hearts on him.he was given a world he never made.as a dad i have to be strong as for hurting i pray for it to go away she moved 3000miles away no emails no calls...but i don't have the time to judge her let god do that shes allways his mom....as for wanting her back i can't do that i'm scare of the pain again..so now its me and him and i'm sure i'll meet someone whos heart is real.... | |
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Posted: 11/15/2005 8:03:22 AM | | Hey stranger! We all want to run away, instead of facing the sense of loss, but it won't clear your mind of her. She stuck there,,,that is what takes time to heal..no matter where you are! | |
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Posted: 11/15/2005 8:12:26 AM | I have felt like running many times....I always thought Alaska, or Wyoming or Montana would be nice. The truth of the matter is though...I would miss home, family, friends.
We are creatures of habit and familiarity.
Sometimes each day wounds, just stay away from the hour that kills.
Good luck to ya brother! | |
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