| Selfish deadbeat fathers!!!
Posted: 11/14/2005 9:04:35 PM | Hmm where do I start???
I have an 18 month old little boy. His father and I had been having problems we split up and tried living together because i did not want him to miss out on any of our sons first's , I couldnt bare to take that kind of thing away from him.Until he decided he was moving out and that was fine, then he decided he was leaving the city, and then he decided that his move was too expensive and he could nto afford to travel back and forth to see his son. So as nice as I am I offered to travel halfway so that my son could see his father. He refused.... I was a little unsure of why. I knew he had a decent job that made good money and I knew he could afford to come all the way even to see his son. So one day I asked for some money for diapers for my son, he refused he told me he could not "afford to have a son" , i replied with a "little late for that , don't you think?" Then he decided to tell me that he could not afford to have a son, so he was willign to give up his rights as a father, he doesnt want anything to do with his son at all now. And he still has the nerve to tell his family that I am the bad guy and will not allow him to see his son. So i called my sons fathers family and informed them of what he had told me. they were furious, They had been told that i did not want my son to have anything to do with them, I dont know how anyone coudl refuse their child this way...
My son now has my boyfriend who he calls daddy and knows only him as daddy he doesnt remember his real father, and I actually prefer it, my ex is just an ***hole who does not deserve my little angel as his child.
The man who cannot afford my son, can afford to drink heavily everyday and post his MSN display pics for me to see, with new clothes on everytime, and brags about how drunk he got the night before. He makes $11.50 an hour and pays $400 a month for rent. How can he not afford to send me enough money to buy his son at least one bag of diapers?????
Does this sound a little odd to anyone else???
Should I take him to court??? | |
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| Selfish deadbeat fathers!!!
Posted: 11/14/2005 9:08:45 PM | hey girl, im not a mommy but if that was my child's father i would diffently go to court to get some child support.
but i guess you have to be sure is name is on the birht certificate or a dna test or etc.
otherwise u might hear that he doesnt think he's the father.
and as for him puuting pics up..he might be trying to hurt you..
atleast you tried to work it out and gave him a chance.
hope it gets better. | |
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| Selfish deadbeat fathers!!!
Posted: 11/14/2005 9:14:27 PM | | Sounds like you got a raw deal. He's doing exactly what my ex is doin except he's insisting on half of everything, yet he is putting ZERO time into the house or kids. Always comes up short in the $ department despite ongoing court orders. But in his defense, 11 an hour isnt that much in todays world. Not when all other bills, not just rent, are taken into account. That still doesnt take away the fact he has a son to support. | |
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| Selfish deadbeat fathers!!!
Posted: 11/15/2005 3:26:32 AM | | Take him to court by all means, even if he never pays. That way you have something legal for backup. | |
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| Selfish deadbeat fathers!!!
Posted: 11/15/2005 8:51:53 AM | | take his butt OUT just cause he does not want to have to see the child does not mean you are in this alone it does take two to make a baby and you wern't in that bed by yourself take him for all he is worth and stand by what ever decision the courts make they will make him pay. When I divorced my first husband I did not want child support but the judge ordered it anyhow he said that I did not make these kids by myself I was not going to pay for them myself (which I have anyways) but he ows me lot and lots of back child support NAIL HIM GIRLFRIEND!!!!!!!!!! Don't let him get away with this. | |
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| Selfish deadbeat fathers!!!
Posted: 11/15/2005 8:59:57 AM |
Should I take him to court???
What do you think you should do?
Why even bother asking such a question? You know what you should do. Like a bunch of strangers can help with your validation of what will transpire should you get over your fear and do what is best for you and your child. | |
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| Selfish deadbeat fathers!!!
Posted: 11/15/2005 9:54:16 AM | My daughter's daddy goes back and forth with this same situation. Only he wants me to let him sign off his rights and but still be able to see her when it works out for him. He said that it would be easiest for all of us if the state didn't get involved with the financial aspect of raising our daughter. Nice try! He signed the papers and the papers stuck, he has been in jail 5 times in the last 3 years due to nonsupport and is now on probation for nonsupport. He still misses sometimes but it always catches up with him, and in order to get out he has to pay up what he's late with.
There is more to supporting a child than money, but money is also needed. Also needed is a parent who is there consistently like you. If dad can't show up and love him, then daddy can buy some freakin diapers at the very very least.
So, if my experience is anything to go on I'd have to say yeah, take him to court! | |
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| Selfish deadbeat fathers!!!
Posted: 11/15/2005 1:54:10 PM | | You picked him - live with the consequences. It may be the man's legal responsibility to pay for his offspring, but it is unrealistic to think some guy is going to pay for a kid he never sees. | |
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| Selfish deadbeat fathers!!!
Posted: 11/15/2005 5:13:18 PM | | HELL YES, take him to court, atleast if nothing else weather he likes it or not he will be helping with the finances of bringing up your son, HOWEVER be aware that if you take him to court it may backfire somewhat in you may end up allowing visitation as well as outlaying some costs for travel for visitation. I've been through it when I went and got sole custody of my kids and if you wanna message direct I'ld be more then willing to help you realize all the negative things that can happen by taking him to court. You HAVE to look at the bad things that could occur before you make the step into the court house. | |
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| Selfish deadbeat fathers!!!
Posted: 11/15/2005 9:34:12 PM | as in my case, the court can't force him to pay. No one can make the money appear.
Judge signed a "too vague" court order earlier this year. There's no way to force the backpayments or to guarantee future ones. We can write court order after court order, but there is no way to force the money forward. | |
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| Selfish deadbeat fathers!!!
Posted: 11/15/2005 9:35:49 PM | | How about garnishing wages? I dunno...not in this situation, but Im sure it can be done, cant it? | |
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| Selfish deadbeat fathers!!!
Posted: 11/15/2005 10:40:53 PM | | U need to take that man to court! I have a one year old and her father is hardly around, sometimes it seems like he is trying sometimes i go weeks without hearing from him. Dont put up with it! He had no problem making a kid, you can be damn sure that he enjoyed that, and its not like he left right away. If he could afford it before when he was living with you, he can damn well afford your son now. Take him to court, they are even lawers out there that will do it for free. If you cant find one, go apply for TANF, they will pay u until he does. The best part about that is that they start going after him right away for the child support, if he wants to give up rights, its his loss. Your son has the love of you, which cant be beat, and now of your boyfriend. Just do what you know is best for you and your son, if that "man" doesnt want to be a part of the beauty of your son, they screw him, he isnt worth it and your son is better off without him, but dont let him get off easily. | |
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| Selfish deadbeat fathers!!!
Posted: 11/16/2005 5:47:58 AM | Definitely take him to court. People like that give us REAL fathers a bad name. I live in the Dallas area and my daughter is in Austin and I go down every other weekend to see her. Also as a divorce agreement (that is why she lives with her mother now) I get her when she turns 12.
My daughter is my life and I will never understand deadbeat dads. | |
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| Selfish deadbeat fathers!!!
Posted: 11/16/2005 11:27:30 AM | ^ my sons middle name is austin because my sons dad is obsessed with the idea of living in Texas haha....
anyways back to the topic....after a long two years (well almost) without any financial assistance (or physical contact) from my sons father we're finally starting to see some money, the sooner you go the better, I dont' know what its like where you live but here they don't start even charging him child support until you file court papers, I waited 11 months because I kept hoping he'd come around, I don't know if they are garnishing his wages or he just decided to pay but he's paid almost $500 this month, so it helps :) | |
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| Selfish deadbeat fathers!!!
Posted: 11/16/2005 3:49:04 PM | lucasmomma
Yes you should take him to court. Even if he doesn't want to see your angel he still needs to pay his share. It takes 2 to make and support a child. I would take him to court. I took my ex to court and when my son gets old enough I will show him that I tried to get his birth father to help take care of him. My x doesn't have a driver license for nonsupport. My x doesn't see him either. I would take him to court. | |
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| Selfish deadbeat fathers!!!
Posted: 11/16/2005 5:59:31 PM | | yeah..take him to court. the guidelines that I am looking at, he'd owe you about $173/month. | |
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| Selfish deadbeat fathers!!!
Posted: 11/29/2005 5:36:45 PM | | hey...ive read what u have to say and i can understand why u would feel that way. i have gone threw the same things over the last few years and this is what i realized...so take it with a grain of salt , when i made the desicion to have my daughter "i" made that desicion.... at the time her father wanted her and me it was a convience ..it looked good....but the nolvity of having a child wore off fast.....there was many ways i could have focused my attention, sure i was disappointed that the man i loved wasnt ready to be a father but who was i to tell him he was....."i" made that choice to give birth "i" made that choice to take responsability of another life.....my point was that if i wasted any of my time and energy and money on court there was still a possiblity that he would still choose not to be a part of my daughters life...so instead of hating him i choose to accept things.......i was not gonna be the one with all the mixed emotions and guilt feelings ..forever.... so i let things be....my daughter is 8 now...a very well rounded girl ...there is a man in her life that has been there for her from the beggining ......loved her as his own........so after a long 8 years , things have finally come to turn...i have always told her that she has a father she sees and a father she doesnt ive told her the positive things about him and in some gentle ways for her to understand things.....she accepts that he wasnt ready and thanks me for not letting her forget about him!!!! and he has never forgot her.......they are now talking and building a foundation of a perfect friendship.....just a thought really...and i feel great today ....ifu want to chat let me know | |
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| Selfish deadbeat fathers!!!
Posted: 11/29/2005 6:11:20 PM | | yes i think you should take him to court i'm dealing with the same thing and if you want chid support the court will give it to you. your CHILD deserves it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | |
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| Selfish deadbeat fathers!!!
Posted: 12/4/2005 12:37:06 PM | | its not unrealistic at all. if he fathered the child then he has to pay child support. whether he sees the kid or not. my ex doesnt see his 2 children because he chose not too. but i took him to court and he now has to pay child support. plain and simple. | |
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| Selfish deadbeat fathers!!!
Posted: 1/10/2006 11:02:30 AM | | TAKE HIS ASS TO COURT. I am in the exact oppisite boat as you. My ex hardly lets me see my son and whats worse is my son has Autism. So I can clearly understand where you come from on this account. I am paying my child support on a bi-weekly basis and I did that willingly after she kicked me out. I could have been a****about it but why. He is my son and part of my responsibility. If only she would let him come to my home and let him spend some time with me at my home. I wish you were her instead. I would love to see my son everyday. | |
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| Selfish deadbeat fathers!!!
Posted: 1/10/2006 11:36:04 AM | | you can go to the courts and fill out the papers that make him pay you by them garnishing his wages every month... do this because its not really for you its for your child....this way he can't not pay you it automatically comes off his paycheck | |
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