| | Can you forgive a one time cheater?Page 1 of 17 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17) | | Has anyone ever been in a loving relationship and find out someone cheated, during a fight, when drinking or in some other capacity. Did the relationship survive? If so, how do you get past it? | |
|
| Can you forgive a one time cheater?
Posted: 11/17/2005 10:18:18 AM | | I think someone can be foregiven, providing there was a miscommuniaction that led to the incident. It would certainly cause future trust issues within the relationship, and no doubt it would always be on the back of the person's mind. It would probably yeild jealousy as well, but if the situation is thoroughly talked out, and everyone's feelings are in the open on the subject, it has potential to still be able to work out. | |
|
| Can you forgive a one time cheater?
Posted: 11/17/2005 10:20:12 AM | Cheating can be physical or emotional....
sometimes the emotional is worse.... for instance.. he gets very "close"
to someone.... as in best friends... and maybe shares private details of your
relationship.... spends all his time with.
All situations vary greatly... but its hard to forgive cheating (betrayal)
You can maybe forgive and reamin with him...
but can you forget? how will it effect your sex life with your partner?
I had a man long ago that cheated... and I caught him...
I forgave him and he cheated again. He had a sex addiction problem.
When we broke up I saw he was much different than I knew him to be.
In the future, should it happen to me again.. it would be the end...
I would not try to understand betrayal.. because there is no understanding it.
It is not what healthy realtionships are made of...
and I do not want to be with someone who is showing bad signs.... there may be
more he is doing to destroy my trust....
I would not reamin in the relationship.
You should forgive him... as that is a gift you give to yourself...
but that does not mean TRUST him again, stay with him or try to overlook it, forget it. | |
|
| |
| |
| |
| |
| Can you forgive a one time cheater?
Posted: 11/17/2005 10:28:35 AM | | The only way you can get past it, is by exiting stage left. Shout Next! and move on. Take care of yourself and I wish you the best. | |
|
| Can you forgive a one time cheater?
Posted: 11/17/2005 10:29:23 AM | | i don't really believe the once a cheater always a cheater thing, just because i have many guy friends who have done it and realized their mistakes, never to do it again. Or ones who were cheaters, then found the woman who changed them... | |
|
| |
| Can you forgive a one time cheater?
Posted: 11/17/2005 10:52:40 AM | I agree with bc_rivergirl, once a cheater always a cheater. Maybe if the guy got raped by the girl then it's a different storey. But if you say  I forgive you and I still love you , and this event was not rape or "I was so drunken I didn't know what I did" issue, your basically telling the person it's ok to f*ck everything that moves. | |
|
| Can you forgive a one time cheater?
Posted: 11/17/2005 10:56:33 AM | hello everybody i agree with you dimples82 and just go with your gutt feeling, if you think that he will notice what he did and will be sorry about it then okay, may be give him another chance, we'r all human brings and do mistakes,,and you'll show him how big you are.,
and for the ones that say (once a cheater always a cheater) i'm gona tell you something and hope you understand it,,,,,,,,,,,,behind every great man there is a woman,,,,,,,,,,ladys may be you are doing something wrong that is driving your men to seek it elsewhere, check your mistakes????????? | |
|
| Can you forgive a one time cheater?
Posted: 11/17/2005 10:59:26 AM | | I knew guy who cheated on his wife and said he learned his lesson. Didn't cheat for awhile until 5 yrs later lol | |
|
| Can you forgive a one time cheater?
Posted: 11/17/2005 11:00:02 AM | ,ladys may be you are doing something wrong that is driving your men to seek it elsewhere, check your mistakes?????????
Funny how you as a male are so eager to blame the person who got cheated on.
There is no justification for anyone.. male or female to CHEAT on their partner.
In fact if they are not adult enough to break off the current relationship to be with another person.. well then I guess they aren't worth being with by either party.
And those individuals who help a person cheat.. I can guarantee you if they cheated on their partner.. they will most definitely cheat on you.. give it time.
EDIT: I refuse to give in to the troll!!! | |
|
| |
| |
| Can you forgive a one time cheater?
Posted: 11/17/2005 11:04:47 AM | | NO CHEATING IS BETRAYAL. HOW DO YOU FORGIVE BEING BETRAYED? I FIND CHEATERS TO HAVE LITTLE WILLPOWER. SORRY WON'T SPEND TIME BUILDING A LIFE WITH SOMEONE WHO CAN'T BE TRUSTED. SOONER OR LATER THE ISSUE WILL REAR ITS UGLY HEAD AGAIN. | |
|
arri
| | Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 18 | |
| |
| Can you forgive a one time cheater?
Posted: 11/17/2005 11:11:26 AM | I can't explicitly say I wouldn't. It would depend on the situation, it'd depend on us, it'd depend on a whole lot of things.
But I probably wouldn't. I would never cheat. Never have, don't think I ever will. It's an ethics thing. It's a respect thing. It's an honesty thing. It's a I-wanna-be-able-to-live-with-myself thing, too.
It's far too easy to accept disrespect and hurt and pain just because you haven't got the courage to get back out on the market and be alone. It's easier to say, "Well, he/she says they're sorry..." than it is to say "I deserve better, and I'm strong enough to be alone till I find it."
But the hard choice is sometimes the only right choice. So, yeah, depends how much respect you have for yourself and how much you choose to believe in what they tell you. But if you're not going to be able to trust them after the fact, then what the hell's the point of trying again, anyhow?
Some people just don't think in realistic terms. Trust is hard enough without having to start from scratch after a betrayal. | |
|
| Can you forgive a one time cheater?
Posted: 11/17/2005 11:15:41 AM | dang what's left fer me to say, After rainbow,tena,bc,rg dun said every thin I thought of so I guess it's perty simple.
NO! NO! an NO!
I have never been so drunk I didnt have some control of myself and if I cared for someone and I wuz drunk after a fight I'd feel to bad to even think about someone else unless I wanted revenge and to get back! | |
|
| Can you forgive a one time cheater?
Posted: 11/17/2005 11:16:53 AM | one question: your in the same job for 10 years working hard love your job that is buiding your dream house and car by giving you a fair pay, then you do one mistake and your fierd
who would you feel???????? | |
|
| Can you forgive a one time cheater?
Posted: 11/17/2005 11:17:06 AM | | Thanks for all your comments. I guess what it comes down to is how you feel and what you think. If there's one thing I have learned over the years it's that NO ONE can judge a relationship they are not in. The only people who really know what is going on are the people in it. I'm certainly not condoning cheating, some situations are complicated. The whole, "on a break" thing. If you're with someone else when you're on a break with a significant other is that cheating? Maybe after some time apart from the relationship, people can get themselves together and attempt again. Just some food for thought | |
|
| |
| Can you forgive a one time cheater?
Posted: 11/17/2005 11:20:34 AM | dimples.. perhaps you should have stated that in the beginning.
Regardless.. cheating is cheating and whether you want to keep hurting yourself mentally and emotionally by staying with the person who cheated... yes infidelity is a form of abuse.. is up to you.
Good luck in any decisions you come to and may you never go through catching the one you truly love in bed with another. | |
|
| Can you forgive a one time cheater?
Posted: 11/17/2005 11:26:04 AM | i think a better advice should be given when we hear both side of the story??
good luck to you ,,,,,,,,,and i'm ara here!!!! | |
|
Home
login 
