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Show ALL Forums  > Ontario  > Why do women say they want a nice guy, but go out with a**holes?      Home login  
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 draconus
Joined: 11/10/2005
Msg: 1
Why do women say they want a nice guy, but go out with a**holes?Page 1 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Well it's the story of my life, I find a woman who says that all she want’s is a nice guy. However when I prove that there are nice guys out there (me) they end up wanting to be friends then I have to hear how horrible their current boyfriends are treating them. Now lets hear what you have to say.
 dinner4two
Joined: 3/21/2005
Msg: 2
Why do women say they want a nice guy, but go out with a**holes?
Posted: 11/17/2005 5:12:18 PM
These type of women are gluttons for abuse...then they want the nice guys to mend their aching hearts...well boohoo...fvck you slept in the bed now get the fvck out...

I hate that sobbing, my bf doesn't love me...so open your freaking eyes or go get depressed with another freaking person...

Cheers
 stephen_ottawa
Joined: 9/19/2005
Msg: 3
Why do women say they want a nice guy, but go out with a**holes?
Posted: 11/17/2005 5:23:56 PM
Guys who are jerks normally exude more egocentric arrogance than so-called nice guys do. This apparently passes for what many women seem to consider to be self-confidence, until it's too late and they're stuck with the jerk, and the nice guy has moved on.

Turn the tables, and a similar scenario is played out there as well.

Women who preen and flaunt themselves normally exude more egocentric arrogance than so-called nice women do. Many guys fall for that as well, until it's too late and they're stuck with that, and the nice woman has moved on.

So, I suspect the answer is that more people need to wear glasses...
 whotookmyname
Joined: 7/11/2005
Msg: 4
Why do women say they want a nice guy, but go out with a**holes?
Posted: 11/17/2005 5:37:30 PM
I hate that sobbing, my bf doesn't love me...so open your freaking eyes or go get depressed with another freaking person...<<< thats funny shit considering you were here **Sobbing ** aboot your lack of acceptance concerning your back ground

all I have to say is wait your turn , no one on POF can help you with this issue ..unless your looking to be bitter aboot it all of course . Some females wouldnt know a nice guy if they tripped over one , some women stick to what they are use to . By sticking to what your use to there is no need for your own personal change .
 Patch364
Joined: 7/1/2005
Msg: 5
Why do women say they want a nice guy, but go out with a**holes?
Posted: 11/18/2005 7:55:26 AM
^^^^^^^wise man^^^^^^^^^^^^


Not speaking for all women but for me!! I was with my ex for two years. He was one of my best buddies in highschool and became my boyfriend out of highschool. His a**hole side didn't come out of him until I had already fallen in love with him. At that point I was too blind to see it. After being together a few years my eyes finally opened and I saw things for what they really were.
It's true, some of us women have been around nothing but a**holes our whole lives. We don't want to be with guys like that but in my area especially it seems most of the men around here are all the same. Now that i've started dating more guys out of my area i've seen what respect is all about.
When someone tells you that they just want to be friends and then end up going out with thier ex again or find themselves a new a**hole it doesn't mean they don't want the nice guy sometimes it just means they arn't that interested in you, they see more of a friendship with you. BUT sometimes it takes us putting ourselves through hell and back to appreciate the good.
 Jetplague
Joined: 4/4/2005
Msg: 6
Why do women say they want a nice guy, but go out with a**holes?
Posted: 11/18/2005 8:00:24 AM
Good to hear Patch. But lets not make this a one sided sexist thing...women often can be A-holes too...much like the one that ditch the nice guy and go for mister future "Wife beater". People can be down right ignorant sometimes...but thats not to say the right ones aren't out there. It's just a matter of finding them. It's a very large world out there...and yet so few nice people in this day and age.
 Patch364
Joined: 7/1/2005
Msg: 7
Why do women say they want a nice guy, but go out with a**holes?
Posted: 11/18/2005 8:03:15 AM
I agree 100%, I have met some men who I would give anything to be with. Sweet, nice, generous, respectful men who are with some of the BIGGEST b*tches around. It does work both ways for sure.
 Jetplague
Joined: 4/4/2005
Msg: 8
Why do women say they want a nice guy, but go out with a**holes?
Posted: 11/18/2005 8:07:36 AM
I hope your not talking about carrie...eheheheh! I kid carrie, I kid....(Please don't kill me!) Heh!
 Patch364
Joined: 7/1/2005
Msg: 9
Why do women say they want a nice guy, but go out with a**holes?
Posted: 11/18/2005 8:10:18 AM
Carrie? Which Carrie and why would I be talking about her?

I mean a bunch of different couples. Ya know, life beyond PoF lol
 Diggy03
Joined: 4/7/2005
Msg: 10
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History
Why do women say they want a nice guy, but go out with a**holes?
Posted: 11/18/2005 8:53:06 AM
I think we all need to read the book "HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU".. I tell ya, it enlightens one.

I have come to a point in my life where I have no more expectations. If somehing is amiss well then so is the relationship. Why should I invest and waste my time on something that just isn't going to be?

Perhaps some women (and men) don't know how to get and attain what they want. As humans go (generally speaking) we relish routines and seek out the familiar.
 christina34983
Joined: 9/10/2005
Msg: 11
Why do women say they want a nice guy, but go out with a**holes?
Posted: 11/18/2005 9:42:18 AM
I think what patch is saying is women and men both can be ***holes, but you have to remember, just because the one you want, doesn't want you in the same way, doesn't mean they are ***holes. I use to think the same thing untill recently, when I had my own personal expierence. I was married 8 yrs. and have been single over a yr. now. Ready to look for Mr. Right, but everyone who had interest in me I only found as a friend figure, and wanted no more. Then one day not even looking , the tables were finally turned. I was pissed at first thinking he was the ***hole, but then came to realize I wasn't the one for him, even though I thought he could have been the one for me!!! It all comes down to people get lonely, and get in a rush. You will go a life time meeting people thinking maybe that could be the one, but you will know, because you will have no doubt on either side, or anyone acting flaky in anyway. It's not something you will have to think twice about. That spark will be there!!!! I had it once, and while it lasted it was great, but untill then you just have to keep looking, and keep your head up, just b/c one doesn't work won't mean the next one won't!!!!! Just don't let it get you down. Well that's all I have to say, I only hope I made since....
 Patch364
Joined: 7/1/2005
Msg: 12
Why do women say they want a nice guy, but go out with a**holes?
Posted: 11/18/2005 10:46:10 AM
^^^^^EXACTLY^^^^^^ lmao I guess I don't word things that well lol
 alfino
Joined: 11/16/2005
Msg: 13
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Why do women say they want a nice guy, but go out with a**holes?
Posted: 11/19/2005 6:25:44 AM
Women always want the nice guy! The only problem with that is they sometimes do not KNOW what that entails. Just as some other earlier posts have said, humans often seek the the familiar. It doesn't matter if your a man or a woman. It's all relative. If you grew up in a domineering household, you will almost definately return to that type of behavior in your partner(s). Untill one can see the pattern from a different standpoint, he/she will(can) ONLY relate to others in this manner. It does not make them a bad person, just keeps them from getting what they want. People that do this don't get what they want, they ususally get what they DON'T want. I was one of those people. I would only seem to find women who were REAL nice at first. Next thing you know, whow what a **** when she didn't get her way! I bent over backwards to please this women to no avail. So now she's back to her old habits and with the nicest, sweetest guy anyone can hope for! A godd old fashioned kind of guy. Caring, loving, attractive... Of course I'm talking about a wife beater lol!!! (I CARE SO MUCH IS WHY I HIT YOU), (I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I CAN'T STAND TO SEE YOU TALK TO NOONE ELSE),(YOU DRIVE ME SO CRAZY 'CAUSE YOU'RE SO PRETTY). LMFAO! The guy is a moron. No job, no friends, no class and into drugs. Usually in jail on the weekends lol. Ugly too. But he is the closest thing to what she is used to. Oh and yes, she IS A KNOCKOUT! Been in 3 movies and was a model. Who knew eh? Just my ramblings on here, srry! Ciao alberto
 kitkat45
Joined: 6/18/2005
Msg: 14
Why do women say they want a nice guy, but go out with a**holes?
Posted: 11/19/2005 7:14:42 AM
OMG!!! That is just too very sad for words....I have been used to controlling guys...and can really handle it..just don't need the ones who end up in jail, who abuse me physically and mentally....I would love nothing better than to be the submissive one to a fellow who knows what he wants, has a good job, and treats me the way I know I should be treated...I can go a long ways to making someone happy...just don't need to be treated with disrespect.
 Spongie
Joined: 8/15/2005
Msg: 15
Why do women say they want a nice guy, but go out with a**holes?
Posted: 11/19/2005 8:13:59 AM
I wonder... what is the definition of a 'nice guy' ?? Could it be that the definition varies and according to whose eyes it is viewed through, does the definition become meaningless ??

What i'm trying to get at is... 'what makes YOU think you are a nice guy' ??

Is professing to the world 'YOU are a nice guy'... self-defeating ?? Vain ? Think about it.

There was a time some years ago that i myself professed to be a nice guy, but after a while of doing so i began to wonder... 'what exactly does that mean' ?

Does it mean...

...Being reserved with your emotions, not showing them to anyone until YOU feel its appropriate ?

...YOU are above most other guys in the emotions and relationship department ?

...YOU feel women deserve 'some sort of different respect' to be with YOU ?

...That YOU are somehow..., special or different ?

I think the only thing i can say for sure about this self-fulfilling prophecy is that it serves the people around you moreso than it serves your best interests. People around you will label you as a whiner, a complainer, different, (in your own thoughts) and a perfectionist.

Myself, i may or may not be a nice guy. That is for someone else to decide, not me. In the meantime i will go about my business as usual and show my emotions to anyone who wants to see them. I will flirt and fool around, wink at a girl as often as i can, squeeze a little butt occassionally, compliment a woman on her style, show some emotion, and be as funny as i can... as often as i like. I will not 'beat the drum' as to how i'm so much better than other guys because i'm see myself as different... or 'nice'. Thats judgemental, and hypocritical.

If someone see's me as being nice... great !
 justin6767
Joined: 5/23/2005
Msg: 16
Why do women say they want a nice guy, but go out with a**holes?
Posted: 11/19/2005 9:34:42 AM
Another nice guy thread. lol. Cmon do you real think women are out there saying I want a controlling Ahole that is gonna beat me, cheat on me or control me. No, they don't. Sometimes they get wrapped up in those sort of guys because they have stong characteristics. For Example.

A man that will control a women. They are usually very insecure which in most cases when they meet a female. The female at the start will feel their love and approval for acceptance way more than the average nice guy. These men will feed off every word, every touch, every laugh and every bit of attention they get. For a women that can be somewhat overwhelming and makes them feel real good on the inside. The controlling part will be sure to come out soon though. Then they find theirselfs in circles sometimes, because the love they have from that man is so strong. They tend to hang on and hope things change because they do see the good in them and when it is good it is amazing with those type of guys.

Then you have the cheater player type. Women are attracted to them because of the confidence they usually portray. They usually walk and talk the part. A women loves going to a social event with an arm on the man that is going to be the center of attention and been seen with someone so charming and fluint when spoken. Most of these guys have a big heart to, but these guys have a special kind of insecurity. To be so confident they need to go out and reassure theirselfs that they still have it, if you know what I mean. But, again once something is built woman again try to hang on a little long in hopes that they have changed. These guys can seem like prince chariming and if they could get them to change would be the dream guy.


So what I have to say to the whinning nice guys, is when you are approaching a female with interest, be strong and what you are doing. Give it 100 per cent. Show some of these strong characteristics that I have been talking about, but don't change in to the bad guy and they would be in heaven. No girl wants the guy that is gonna stay up all night consolling them. Talk about her life all the time and always be there to pick her up. They want a guy wtih his own life. Someone that keeps her minds stimulated, keeps them wondering. They want a challenge to some sort of degree. They do not want the guy that compliments them every three seconds in hopes of that all the niceness is gonna pay off eventually. Because, it won't. Don't be a suck ass. They want to look up to you.
 _DarMar
Joined: 6/22/2005
Msg: 17
Why do women say they want a nice guy, but go out with a**holes?
Posted: 11/19/2005 9:38:33 AM
Justin...you offer such good advice.....the man you described...is my kind of man.......
 justin6767
Joined: 5/23/2005
Msg: 18
Why do women say they want a nice guy, but go out with a**holes?
Posted: 11/19/2005 9:45:34 AM
Thanks dar. I hope you find yours one day. You are a great person.
 portuguese Mommie
Joined: 6/17/2005
Msg: 19
Why do women say they want a nice guy, but go out with a**holes?
Posted: 11/19/2005 9:52:53 AM
god i love justin's posts there long but u know there gonna be good LOL wootttttttttttt
 sammygirly
Joined: 11/17/2005
Msg: 20
Why do women say they want a nice guy, but go out with a**holes?
Posted: 11/19/2005 10:23:27 AM
I want a horrible man who will beat me, cheat on me and ....

No, wait.

I'd just like a guy with a lil spice and variety. Sadly, that means that I get attracted to ***holes a lot. That doesn't mean that I don't want a nice guy - just means that nice guys have to work a little harder at attracting my attention.

Save me from myself nice guys!
 MilitaryMan1983
Joined: 8/3/2005
Msg: 21
Why do women say they want a nice guy, but go out with a**holes?
Posted: 11/19/2005 11:37:19 AM
I've noticed that aswell. They do normally go for the pricks instead of the nice guys, and men can be the same way. It would be horrible if all the nice guys/women turned into a$$holes. But at least we would all deserve each other, instead of people saying, he's suck an a$$hole, he dosn't deserve her and all that.
 stoneside
Joined: 9/3/2004
Msg: 22
Why do women say they want a nice guy, but go out with a**holes?
Posted: 11/19/2005 11:47:49 AM
It never fails. When I used to go to bars I always had to act like a moron if I wanted to attract a woman. On here I have about 10 women that just want to be friends with me and talk about their "jerk" bf's.
 draconus
Joined: 11/10/2005
Msg: 23
Why do women say they want a nice guy, but go out with a**holes?
Posted: 11/19/2005 11:59:16 AM
What I think a nice guy is.. Well it's a man that will treat women with the respect they deserve. Open doors, say thank you, please, to listen and give advice when asked, just all around nice. 'Oh I have my times when I can be a Bunghole, but everyone has bad days I just don't take it out on the people around me. Now I am nice to men and women. But women deserve more. Someone on an earlier post said that there are women out there that do the same and that is true, women can sometimes be worse then men in some aspects I tend to stay away from them. If I think that a woman is going to take advantage of me or treat me like dirt I wont give them the time of day. I would like to be treated with the same kind of respect I give out now is that too much to ask?
 MilitaryMan1983
Joined: 8/3/2005
Msg: 24
Why do women say they want a nice guy, but go out with a**holes?
Posted: 11/19/2005 11:59:37 AM
Welcome to the club man, lol, I councel alot of my friends on they're bf's. I've gotten used to the ****ing and crying, well maybe not the crying, what man can stand a woman crying, I don't know what to do when they start crying. But as for the bar seen man, just go have fun, play pool, dance and just be yourself, you may find a good woman.
 jjthedj
Joined: 10/19/2005
Msg: 25
Why do women say they want a nice guy, but go out with a**holes?
Posted: 11/19/2005 12:28:32 PM
I'm just one of the girls when it comes to my female friends.
Kinda creepy really. They tell me all about their BF problems and why can't they meet a nice guy, blah, blah, blah. You want to punch them for disrespecting you so terribly, but they don't know they're doing it I guess. Why are girls like that?
I can't imagine ****ing about a girl to a girl and then saying:
"Thanks for being there, maybe you'll find a someone someday"
Uh hi, I'm right here. The Not-a-Jerk Guy.
The best is: "Why can't a meet a normal guy like you?"
Um... you met me.
Beware The Friendzone I guess.
Once you're in it, you're stuck in it.
Try and be a jerk to a nice girl preemptively before they can label you FRIEND, I guess is the lesson.
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