| Too nice
Posted: 11/18/2005 4:20:08 PM | | Have you ever dated a guy who is just a great guy but just TOO nice ? Anguy who you know you SHOULD be with the one who would always treat you great , but he is just too nice and it turns you off ? Can a guy just be too nice that it turns you off and you find yourself not wanting to date him because of it ? Maybe its just me I hope not . | |
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| Too nice
Posted: 11/18/2005 4:26:00 PM | met some that ACTED too nice....
was all an act tho
tell them no and see how nice they are. | |
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| Too nice
Posted: 11/18/2005 4:27:19 PM | | Define "too nice" please. What were the actions? What were the symptoms? | |
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| Too nice
Posted: 11/18/2005 4:35:53 PM | | never disagrees with you always says your right , acts like he is walking on egg shells all the time . Brings flowers EVERY time i see him , yes this is nice but overkill . Just seems to turn me off when I feel like I can just run him over and always get my way like he doesnt have his own opinion about anything . | |
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| Too nice
Posted: 11/18/2005 4:39:18 PM | | That's not "nice" that's spineless and desperate and might I add, rather pathetic. | |
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| Too nice
Posted: 11/18/2005 4:45:11 PM | Guys like that bring out a really bad side of me.
To me, nice means: has integrity and always respectful of me-and himself. Can't have too much of that. | |
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| Too nice
Posted: 11/18/2005 5:02:29 PM | Ugh...that would drive me crazy.
A 'nice' guy:
~is respectful, not a suck-up.
~can disagree with you without offending you
~actually talks with you
~is competitive with you in a fun way
~makes you feel truly special when you are with him
 I got mine
Good luck to you!  | |
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| Too nice
Posted: 11/18/2005 5:22:00 PM | Hey! Does he have a brother? | |
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| Too nice
Posted: 11/18/2005 5:30:22 PM | | Instead of coming to the conlusion that he's spineless or pathetic, maybe the guy is just shy. He might not know how you want him to act around you, and to be safe he's just trying to be as nice as he can. Try making him feel comfortable and getting him to loosen up and see how he is when he's not so on edge. Thats what his true personality is like, whether it brings out the best or worst in him. | |
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| Too nice
Posted: 11/18/2005 5:30:33 PM | Im with lilkitten. That is my type of guy, however, all those wonderful men are already married or taken.
@ Iwant2makeUhappy: Sweetie, no offense but you are only 19. You havent lived long enough to experience the "really" nice sappy kinda person that is just too nice, that you actually want to strangle them. | |
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| Too nice
Posted: 11/18/2005 5:34:57 PM |
Instead of coming to the conlusion that he's spineless or pathetic, maybe the guy is just shy. He might not know how you want him to act around you, and to be safe he's just trying to be as nice as he can. Try making him feel comfortable and getting him to loosen up and see how he is when he's not so on edge. Thats what his true personality is like, whether it brings out the best or worst in him.
Timid boys belong with timid girls. They don't do well with confident women because they aren't in the same emotional/mental/psychological zone as they are.
It is not a woman's job to "help him loosen up"...it's his job to loosen up on his own. It's not a woman's job to mete out how a guy should act around her...he should just be himself with no pretend tactics to keep her interest.
If that's his true personality, he's a turn off with me. | |
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| Too nice
Posted: 11/18/2005 5:45:46 PM | | Not true, lumping or coming to the conclusion that guy is 'timid' only limits your options and shows ignorance toward who they really are. Yes there are some guys that are like that, and they may not get along well with 'confident women', but just because they may come off as too nice or timid doesn't mean thats what they really are. I have friends that come off as outgoing and loud and others that come off ass timid and shy to most people, especially those they don't know. And I can tell you because I know them for who they are, some are abosolutley the opposite than how they first seem. Many loud friends of mine are loud because they're insecure of their own self, and they try to put up a front by being loud and crazy. Some people who come off as quiet, shy, or timid to most people feel they don't need to be loud or obnoxious because they are confident enough about themselves as a peron that they don't need to remind other people. Others are quiet when they are nervous or feel uncomfortable, but put them in their element and you can see them for the wonderful person they are. And if you don't take the time to know them more than just intial reaction, then you'll miss out on some great people and get stuck with some horrible people. A relationship is a mutual thing, its not just he guys job to make the woman feel comfortbale (although they always should) but if a girl doesn't make the guy comfrotbale as well, then they may truley miss out. | |
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| Too nice
Posted: 11/18/2005 5:51:06 PM | Want2, I may be way off base, but didnt Blast just say something simular? You attract people who are more like yourself?
Just a thought. | |
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| Too nice
Posted: 11/18/2005 5:57:01 PM | | What I'm saying is thats not necessarily the case. Just because people come off as timid or not, and thats not necessarily how you are, doesn't mean they aren't right for you. Being timid or confident or whatever can a result of how you feel at the current time and you need to dive deeper into that person's heart to see what they are really like before you can come to a conclusion on their character. | |
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| Too nice
Posted: 11/18/2005 6:43:42 PM | Sorry Iwant....
I have to disagree. I am very outgoing, confident, and outspoken. I am attracted to those who are like myself.
If you are all of the above, when you walk into the room, you own it. You do not sit back and observe.
I will speak to those who sit in the corner and observe, but I am attracted to the ones who are simular in my personality. If you are confident, outgoing, then show that you are, dont hide behind a facade. | |
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| Too nice
Posted: 11/18/2005 6:58:55 PM | | I have never in my life met another human being that was too nice, male or female......but I met several that were too unappreciated. | |
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| Too nice
Posted: 11/18/2005 7:03:29 PM | | What your intially attracted to doesn't always mean you're attracted to who they really are. Its just a first impression. Thats it. People who are quiet and confident don't 'hide behind a facade.' They just don't need to be loud to attract the type of women they want. They may be after women who are more interested in who they are, not how they come off. I'm not saying all have this reason for being quiet, but a good deal. I myself have come off both as quiet at times and loud and outgoing at other times, so just because you see someone one way does not mean they are always that way. It doesn't have to be a facade either. | |
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| Too nice
Posted: 11/18/2005 7:11:29 PM | *SIGH* again Iwant.....
How can I put this so you will get it.
I hate liver, I am never going to eat liver. Liver is good for you, and isnt a bad thing. I prefer veggies and fruit more. So I am going to eat fruit and veggies. It is what I prefer.
Got it? | |
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| Too nice
Posted: 11/18/2005 7:30:51 PM | | I suppose you've just had some bad experiances with those type sin the past. Sorry to hear that because I think you may have missed out on some wonderful people. I'm not trying to convince you to do something, rather explain why I put little-to-no importance on how I first perceive someone be it loud, quiet, or otherwise, and it has paid off big for me so far in my 'young' life and hope others can benifit from it as well. | |
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| Too nice
Posted: 11/18/2005 7:36:51 PM | | Iwant, dont even begin to psycho analyze me. You have no clue about my experiences, so please dont even try pulling that card. Dont assume anything about another person, otherwise it is only you who comes up looking like the fool. And my "young" friend, with years of experience, you will learn that in time. | |
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| Too nice
Posted: 11/18/2005 7:43:11 PM | | You've obviously mmisunderstood what I meant to say. I'm not trying to psycho analyze you, and my age doesn't mean that my own experiances are any less valid. I'm merely saying that if I had taken the same feeling you do on 'liver' as you like to call it, I would have missed out on some wonderful people that I am now lucky to have met. | |
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| Too nice
Posted: 11/18/2005 7:49:02 PM | No Iwant, you just dont get it. Some people dont mesh well. It has nothing to do with wonderful people to you or not.
What may be wonderful and stimulating to you, may not necessarily be for someone else. That is why this is a wonderful world we live in. If we all like the same thing, then life would be so boring.
I know alot of great people, however, not all of my friends happen to like my other friends and so on. It doesnt make them less a person, it just means they arent their cup of tea.
Again..... I go back to, what attracts me most is someone who is like me. I want someone who is outgoing and who isnt a wallflower. It is all about preferences.
Everyone has great qualities, but it doesnt mean that everyone has a love connection or a life long friendship in the wings. It doesnt mean one way is right and the other is wrong. There is no wrong answer here. So stop trying to find it. | |
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| Too nice
Posted: 11/18/2005 7:56:50 PM | I simply just wanted to say hello and that I am one of those guys that has been considered "too nice" and have had things not always work out because of it.
And just a note: not the spineless too nice either. I always was not trying to be "extra nice" at all, I was simply being my normal self.
However, it is understood and many have said what I am about to write. Most younger women (18-25) [though I am not limiting this to just them] want a "bad boy" that they can stay with and turn into a "nice guy" when they are older and have grown out of that phase. That's the way the cookie often crumbles. Oh well.
Have a nice day. | |
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| Too nice
Posted: 11/18/2005 7:57:41 PM | | I meant--- "I also was not"... not "I always was not" | |
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| Too nice
Posted: 11/18/2005 8:06:11 PM | | This is why it's sometimes necessary to smack your **** up. Otherwise she just won't respect you. | |
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