| Getting Frustrated here!!
Posted: 11/19/2005 1:33:48 PM | | Having a hard time to meet that right man,...I can never trust them because they seem to be all players. Is there any man out there that isn't one of those? It's getting harder and harder to trust any of them, and I don't like that feeling. I need to be able to trust again, how do I do that? | |
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| Getting Frustrated here!!
Posted: 11/19/2005 1:52:30 PM | | No, we're all players. But one thing you can do is get the hell out of North Bay and come down to Toronto where your selection is a bit larger. | |
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| Getting Frustrated here!!
Posted: 11/19/2005 1:59:33 PM | lonely at heart........i know where your coming from. Its been real hard for me to trust men and ever come close to it. Maybe in time i will beable to trust again. But for right now im not ready to. So im taking my time. It take time to build trust back.
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| Getting Frustrated here!!
Posted: 11/19/2005 2:00:19 PM | | Trust is something that is built over time but it can still happen and eventually will. I know what you mean in regards to being very cautious about trusting again however I've found once in a while I have to let my gaurd down and try trusting or I'll never get anywhere. Sure your trust may be broken again but if you meet the right man then you will know because he will do everything in his power to keep your trust and even make it stronger. And thats true for both men and women. | |
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| Getting Frustrated here!!
Posted: 11/19/2005 2:29:35 PM | Welcome to the pond lonely at heart.
You've got to remember that men are not naturaly monogamus. We have a genetic compulsion to try and spread our seed as far and wide as we possibly can. How some of us resist that compulsion is another matter. We can't trust those we don't know. You're beautiful, you're going to attract all kinds of men. If you don't like the ones throwing out lines try different waters. I'm not talking cities or countries, I'm talking places like Universities, hobby clubs, whatever it takes.
I'm a bachelor idiot but I've got a suggestion for you: Don't be a victim. Your profile talks about cheating right up front. That's a given, and when stated in this cruel world of ours any a*s**s*h*o*l*e*s challenge. Get out and meet men and loosen up on the conditions a bit. Your man may have no idea he's ready for longterm fulfillment if he never has an opportunity to determine just how priceless you yourself might be. Men have been manipulating conditions and dissapointing women for all time. But every once in awhile a man meets his match. The best, and worst people we meet are the ones that surprise us. Be a survivor. Live your life. Just say no to negativity. | |
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LL3
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Joined: 9/10/2005
Msg: 6 | |
| Getting Frustrated here!!
Posted: 11/19/2005 2:38:34 PM | Love the double standards here....Tooooooo freakin' funny...earlier this week I read a similar posting by a guy who was having the same trouble as the OP. He was picked apart and almost literally ravaged by all here.......but yet a woman comes on....same topic and we all gush niceties??
Hun, you choose em, attract em for what ever reason and it's your call to let them in or not...we aren't all a**holes. Let's flip it for a second......What do you do to push them away, or let them play you? | |
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| Getting Frustrated here!!
Posted: 11/19/2005 2:43:44 PM | Trust is something that comes in time, something
earned. Maybe you are giving trust to those who have no earned it....
?
Gaurd your emotions when meeting people and give it time to see
if they are who and what they claim. Words are one thing and actions are another...
Actions must back up words.... that signals conguency and a sign
that this may be someone who is TRUSTWORTHY, not everyone is.
We all have instincts that protect us and keep us from harm...
learn to develop them and do not blindly go into a relationship
before taking time to know someone. Looks can be very decieving.
There are many players, lairs and others who are attacted to the internet... the
love junkies, the sex addicts, the ones looking for annother half of their souls...
the possibilities are limitless.
You should take time to figure out if they are one of the people you should
not be trusting... and take time to get to know them. If they do not give you
that option of time or are unable to satify any
questions you may have had about them or
their lives, intentions, or of they refuse to answer questions
directly, are elusive, vauge.... if
you see holes in their stories, feel an uneasiness with the situation...
you should use a great deal of caution in giving your trust to them.
This will help you feel better, when you are more carful to determine
trustworthiness... so you are not disappointed and surprised. | |
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| Getting Frustrated here!!
Posted: 11/19/2005 2:44:07 PM | Love the double standards here....Tooooooo freakin' funny...earlier this week I read a similar posting by a guy who was having the same trouble as the OP. He was picked apart and almost literally ravaged by all here.......but yet a woman comes on....same topic and we all gush niceties?? Ba! humbug.. | |
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| Getting Frustrated here!!
Posted: 11/19/2005 2:58:21 PM | | lonley sadly it goes both ways. There are alot of players on all dating sights both men and women.When I meet someone it's automatic that there is alittle trust involved it's up to them whether they build on that trust or destroy it. Even in the forums if you look and listen you can sense a player mostly the only say what youwant to hear and never argue about any thing with you. I'm just as honest in my beliefs here as I am in real life I feel I have nothing to hide if someone wants to know ask the answer may not be to there liking but it will be my answer. | |
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| Getting Frustrated here!!
Posted: 11/19/2005 3:17:51 PM | To the OP, it is difficult at best to try and trust some one. I have had some really strange experiences here, do I really look like a hostile person? Some guy told me if I wanted to meet him I had to come to him because he couldn't trust me! Not happening. One guy was so married, and I found out by calling to cancel our date because I had the flu. This after much correspondence and phone calls. So I do understand the trust issue. I just do not want to lump all men in that category, eternally the optimist | |
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| Getting Frustrated here!!
Posted: 11/19/2005 3:21:59 PM | Well OP you just made all the men want you...
Stop whining, get to know and be happy with yourself then go manhunting... | |
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| Getting Frustrated here!!
Posted: 11/19/2005 3:36:38 PM | | Thats most of the problem right there. I have trouble finding people that will trust me. I am an honest and caring person. I have no problem trusting people and in the past I have been burned because of it. I never stop trusting people though on the soul fact that I would want the same trust returned. Many women that I have met have been burned in the past and can't get over the idea that not every person is like that. If I am nice to someone they usually think that I want something out of them in return and can't phathom the idea that I might just be doing it cause I want to. There are decent and kind people out there. I know cause I am one of them. | |
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| Getting Frustrated here!!
Posted: 11/19/2005 3:37:33 PM | | Not all of them are players, in fact....many aren't. They just might not think you are right for them, as you would of others. Trust comes from communication. If you don't have that, you have nothing... MR. WRONG it will be. | |
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| Getting Frustrated here!!
Posted: 11/19/2005 3:38:06 PM | Well spud then write to the OP and get it together...
We've all been hurt but deal with it, heal and get back in the game... | |
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om
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Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 16 | |
| Getting Frustrated here!!
Posted: 11/19/2005 4:16:58 PM | again , welcome to the sea Frustrated.
double cabin had some good points I thought.
Just to reassure you, no we are not all players, and some of us can think with our heads and hearts and not our groin.
I know its hard to find a good compatible man or woman, but try not to get addicted to that frustrated feeling, and not that I think you are. Its so easy to let that dissapointed lonely feeling take over.
Its not nice being alone for so long for some. Some handle it better than others. Maybe look for other types of connections that can fill you a bit. This helps me to understand that it really not all that bad being single.
There are some good people out there with alot to share.
Like so many said, Trust takes time, so be patient and start with trusting that it will come your way. | |
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arri
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Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 17 | |
| Getting Frustrated here!!
Posted: 11/19/2005 4:34:39 PM | There is a player in every man ... the trick is in the relationship management process  | |
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Joy.
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Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 18 | |
| Getting Frustrated here!!
Posted: 11/19/2005 4:44:28 PM | | Perhaps I have it backwards, but I tend to trust people until they give me a reason not to. So far, the odds are in my favor but how pitiful a life it would be if I were skeptical and untrusting of every person I met. And from what men say, women are just as bad. Whatever happened to having faith in your fellow human beings? We'll all be hurt by someone at some point but is that any reason to hold it against the population at large? | |
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ellece
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Joined: 8/19/2005
Msg: 19 | |
| Getting Frustrated here!!
Posted: 11/19/2005 6:32:21 PM | I'm with you Joy...
and if sometimes our trust gets betrayed...well....such is life
beats allowing ourselves to be restricted in how we lead our lives | |
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| Getting Frustrated here!!
Posted: 11/19/2005 6:40:06 PM | "Trust" means..simply "I think I can predict how YOU are going to behave," based on shared past experiences...simple, yet difficult~
PS The feeling of 'frustration' will never leave, just your perception of it may~ | |
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| Getting Frustrated here!!
Posted: 11/19/2005 6:49:54 PM | | yeah, I recommend never actually meeting anyone, and in fact, only emailing them for prolongesd periods of time. Oh and only communicating with ones that have a profile that is AWESOME. This way, you wont waste your time with the real people. | |
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| Getting Frustrated here!!
Posted: 11/20/2005 11:57:02 AM | | O-T-B, you are so right, who truly wants to meet real people? I think I am in search of Mr. Spock with Capt. Kirks Passion, Or was it the Klingon? | |
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| Getting Frustrated here!!
Posted: 11/20/2005 12:28:22 PM | | trust is such a sparse commodity these days, I agree. But, think about riding a horse for a minute. Now, think of that horse throwing you off. Are you never going to ride another horse simply because one threw you off? Being thrown does hurt, but the ride is fun. So, just cowgirl up and got back on. Figuratively speaking, that is. lol. | |
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| Getting Frustrated here!!
Posted: 11/20/2005 12:30:13 PM | | Oh yeah, get to know that horse before ride him too. Maybe you won't get thrown or you'll know ahead of time when to jump off. | |
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