| | It Ends NowPage 1 of 2 (1, 2) | Ok, they say that the definition of insanity is doing the same things and expecting different results. I have been using the nice, polite, interested in what a woman says in her profile.... approach for a while now. My results have been... well, lets just say, more to be desired. So, I am going to try different approaches. Everything from being painfully blunt (like, hey you look nice, so why don't we get together so I can massage yo feet!) to the terrible rude (girl is that a new hairstyle or did you stick your finger in a socket? I pray to the highest heavesn it's the second answer!) and see what happens. Also, I intend to show some of the good ones that I sent that got ignored or whatever.
My hypothesis is that women respond more to negativity than politeness (even though, they will actually respond, it might not be "positive" either). The purpose of this lil experiment is to see what happens and I will probably post the results in the meanttime. Then the whole PoF world will see that sometimes, even the nicest and best emails are rejected out of the clear blue for no reason (ain't nothin wrong wit me!) and so the whole PC liberal bullsh*t (just be yourself and respectful to women and things will work out) is simply a lie. So.... I shall keep you people informed. Peace! 
P.S.
I won't list any of the peoples names or whatever that I have emailed. I will just say "I emailed this girl, and she replied with this" etc. It is all....anonymous  | |
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Posted: 11/20/2005 3:38:09 PM | Sounds like a good way to get yourself banned, Sparda.
But whatever...it's my observation that people don't like being toyed with. | |
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Posted: 11/20/2005 3:49:37 PM | insecure girls respond more to rudeness
i respond to rudeness with more rudeness if i'm bored
or not at all if i'm not
i think you're being silly. you would rather have an insecure girl who only wants someone who wants them, than a secure girl who wants you for you? | |
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Posted: 11/20/2005 4:07:11 PM | | OP why don't you get some good pictures of yourself? Why the glasses? And it's so blurry...that might help for starters. | |
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Posted: 11/20/2005 4:21:47 PM | | Man, this issue has been done to death. "Why don't girls like nice guys?" posed in a hundred ways. There ARE those of us who are sick and tired of the games you are contemplating. If you want a loser, treat her like one. Otherwise, be patient and treat them the way you would want to be treated. Eventually you will find someone. I think just about all of us have gotten fed up and thought about playing the games (some of us even lowered ourselves to that level), but again, nothing good comes of it. | |
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Posted: 11/20/2005 4:29:18 PM | How about a new pic and how about being more yourself....................
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Posted: 11/20/2005 4:31:14 PM |
My hypothesis is that women respond more to negativity than politeness
Really? That could be said of anyone.
Let's say you're at a bar. You're sitting at a table casually looking around the room. A guy at the bar kind of raises his drink towards you and nods his head.
You don't know how to respond, so you don't. You're not real sure you want to. You're not sure of his motives. You don't want to encourage him by responding.
Then, the guy at the bar desides to try something a little different in order to get you to respond. He walks up to you and insults you, perhaps shoving you back.
Now, how are YOU going to respond?
Can't we determine that you'd react more to his negativity than his politeness?
What if it was a woman and you just weren't attracted to her?
Let's say you are definitely NOT attracted to a particular woman at the bar, yet she keeps flirting and winking and nodding, perhaps sending over drinks and little notes.
Then, since she can't get your attention THAT way, she decides to insult you instead.
Do you think you'll react? Even if it's to tell her to back off and leave her alone?
So, according to your hypothesis, it would be just as fair for this woman to turn to her friends and say, "See, I told you that men respond more to negativity than politeness."
And I agree....lose the Bono sunglasses and get a better picture.
Work on yourself before working on your hypothesis of women. | |
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Posted: 11/20/2005 4:42:02 PM | i think he has a valid point....and "thecatt" you are either not understanding his point or choose to ignore it with your examples....they are clearly not what hes talking about.
and whats wrong with finding out....everyone says theyre looking for "a nice guy---any left out there"....so i believe he has the right to exercise his oppinion in way that may prove or disprove what people say on their profiles.
and someone should do it with the guys as well.
nothing wrong with it in my oppinion. | |
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Posted: 11/20/2005 4:58:21 PM | | I don't see how being intentionally rude to someone to generate a reaction is an experiment. It's pretty obvious that if you say something nice to someone, they will probably check out your profile and if you get a read/deleted (as you clearly have many times --don't worry me too) they are not interested and that certainly isn't a hit to your character and isn't a flaw of theirs. There's always a reason for rejection, just because you may not like it doesn't mean it isn't there. | |
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Posted: 11/20/2005 5:01:05 PM | I invited you over for Thanksgiving Dave, and didn't see a response....does that count? lol
Actually, I think catt had a good example. The internet just is not the same as in person, but maybe if we considered it to be, things would be different. | |
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Posted: 11/20/2005 5:03:34 PM | | hhhmmmmm...thanksgiving. | |
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Posted: 11/20/2005 5:13:51 PM | sparda7,
I NEVER prefer "blunt/rude" over "nice/polite/interested".
"Blunt/rude" gets either blunter/ruder or nothing, unless I happen to be in a "mood" then it can get exceptionally rude/profane. No exchange that started out that way ever turned into anything except more of the same.
Nice/polite/interested typically gets a response, particularly if the guy has been even the least bit creative in his message and/or profile. I respond almost every time if he makes me laugh or has dog pix. Everyone has their "hook(s)", for me it's laughter and dogs... gets me almost every time even if I wouldn't otherwise have been interested.
Final thought, a negative/blunt/rude message will often get me to respond to someone I WOULD NEVER HAVE RESPONDED TO OTHERWISE, just because he was rude. He'll get his response BUT it will not be pretty!
Good luck and may I suggest you NOT send me a "blunt/rude" message.  | |
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Posted: 11/20/2005 5:22:04 PM | | Girls respond to original and interesting posts. Guys do as well i dont always reply to a post but if its interesting or she seems interesting i will respond. You also have to realize girls recieve way more mail than men do. ingenuity will not always get you a response or the one your looking for. Since the male mind works on visuals hes more likely to message based on a photo. I pass up a few messages i get. But the interesting and more tailored mails get my attention. It seems to me that the person might actually want to get to know me. Which is what a good 80% of us want anyway. Girls may take some extra time to respong to i think jsut because of volume. I message based on common interest and attraction. But then again you never really know i guess until you meet up. Good luck and dont give up | |
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Posted: 11/20/2005 5:40:37 PM | Ok, they say that the definition of insanity is doing the same things and expecting different results.
you know the experiment will not be effective
your expectations will hamper the outcome
try a tripleblind experiment they have better more accurate results
and for my opinion
cut the tude
your young nice lookin guy I am sure girls like you
however I personally dont like rude arrogant men the are ugly to me yuk ick and all that
try adjusting the profile and the picture | |
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~iiCe~
| | Joined: 7/26/2005
Msg: 15 | |
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Posted: 11/20/2005 6:44:28 PM | I agree with those who said put up a clear pic... hard to tell if that pic is real with the quality... and no rudeness just gets you blocked from my profile....
I have met in person 2 men from here.... the one that read my profile and comment on it.... I still talk to... the other one is what inspired half of what is written on there.... a profile is so that people can get an idea of who you are.... through the words and the pics... both need to be clear... | |
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Posted: 11/20/2005 8:10:24 PM |
How about a new pic and how about being more yourself....
I have read alot of the responses and the fact remains, that if a woman isn't interested, that is cool. But sometimes I may send an email and ask if they could tell me if its my looks and, if not, what the problem is so that I can fix it for the next potential candidate and sometimes they still don't say sh*t! That's when I get mad, b/c then I'm thinkin she doesn't really have a reason, she is just being a silly heffa trying to dis and dismiss me without knowing a damn thing about me.
I heard people say that I need to fix the pic, so I took care of it. Now, this particular quote said something about me being more myself... I'm just curious, but how exactly does my profile sound fake? The stuff on there is true. I think people "expect" people to be a certain way and if they don't act that way, they may assume they are being fake.
Anyway, I still think that alot of females act shitty with their nose turned up for no reason and with this lil experiment, I intend to expose alot of that. But any ideas for a particular 'type' of email that would generate positive responses would be great. | |
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Posted: 11/20/2005 8:38:50 PM | sparda7,
Couple things:
Everything you post in the forums is PUBLIC to EVERYONE here. There may be women that are on to your "game" due to this thread and choose not to respond. It is a free country.
Generally speaking, women get more mail than guys, they may not have time to respond and are under no "obligation" to do so.
Some women probably just don't want to get into why they choose not to respond. On occasion you get a nasty message back. Not pleasant, why risk it?
she doesn't really have a reason
This is important, SHE DOESN'T HAVE TO. She is not obligated to message you back no matter how much you'd like her to. It's her choice!
I intend to expose alot of that
This could be part of your "problem".
particular 'type' of email that would generate positive responses
I daresay that would be a positive one.
If you aren't having any luck within a day or two, I'd say it's time to bag the experiment and move on.
*edit* as I re-read over this response for typos it occurs to me that your last message is rather "controlling". Frankly, that would be an issue for me and I wouldn't write back. Been there done that, no thanks! | |
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queue
| | Joined: 11/10/2005
Msg: 18 | |
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Posted: 11/20/2005 9:41:53 PM |
Ok, they say that the definition of insanity is doing the same things and expecting different results. I have been using the nice, polite, interested in what a woman says in her profile.... approach for a while now. My results have been... well, lets just say, more to be desired.
The definition doesn't apply here. People have different backgrounds and experiences. I've been doing the same thing you have, and was rather shocked to receive the following IM's tonight after our first date. I had no idea of this girl's feelings at the time, and frankly, I believe she didn't either.
Her (10 20 PM): lol, i wanted to tell you, i had a dream about you (had to take a short nap earlier)
Her (1039 PM): and no, it wasn't a kinky sex dream, don't get excited!
Me (1048 PM): sure it wasn't a nightmare?
Her (10 02 PM): lol, god no!
Me (1021 PM): sounds kewl then ... i'm listening
Her (10 20 PM): it was very nice, and i woke up because i could smell the flowers you gave me(:-P) well, my mom put them in my room on my desk while i was sleeping(one of the dogs tried to eat them)....
Her (10 27 PM): and i realized that you , god, i'm blushing, well, you made me feel like a woman last night instead of like, one of the guys, like most guys treat me. you made me feel very sexy....
Her (1050 PM): and i am soo flattered that you even went, and you were such a gentleman...
Her (10 40 PM): i'm smiling really big...i wanted you to know, because it's been soo long since anyone made me feel that way..
Her (1045 PM): thank u
Just thought I'd share since it seemed to be on topic. I've never heard this stuff before from any girl and I treat them the same way. Good luck on finding the right one for you. Aparently, it works (once in a really great while). | |
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Posted: 11/20/2005 11:23:30 PM | hey queue,
Good for you! You are obviously doing something right. Very nice that she told you too.
Positive reinforcement... it's a good thing.
Good luck.
Cute pup by the way. : ) | |
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queue
| | Joined: 11/10/2005
Msg: 20 | |
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Posted: 11/20/2005 11:34:41 PM |
Positive reinforcement... it's a good thing.
Why wouldn't it be more abundant? I think that's the point here. Is it the the the girls we're choosing? Are our predecessors ruining it for us? It's REALLY challenging ... | |
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Posted: 11/20/2005 11:36:45 PM | Man you are just worrying about it WAY TOO MUCH
so people dont email you back. So what?????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Its just an email !
its their loss...And yes you will end up banned. | |
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Posted: 11/20/2005 11:56:15 PM | queue,
Good question. I don't think people in general tend to think that way. i.e. - more prone to tell you what they don't like than what they do. You've got a keeper there.
I'd guess it's a combo of a number of things your choices, your predecessors, her choices, her predecessors, her personality/demeanor/way of doing things/way of relating, blah, blah, blah. It could be a zillion things.
So here's the deal: she positively reinforced you (told you what she liked-you liked that she told you-you'll be more likely to repeat the behavior) now you positively reinforce her (tell her what you like about what she did, how you appreciated it and it was helpful {or whatever} and she'll be more likely to repeat the behaviour).
That was an awful lot of words to say tell your dates/mates what you like and they'll be more likely to repeat it assuming they are interested in you being "happy".
In the scheme of things that's basic relationship 101 stuff, it's amazing how few people do it.
So here I am coaching you and I don't do it myself. | |
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Tinkle
| | Joined: 11/2/2005
Msg: 23 | |
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Posted: 11/21/2005 1:34:19 AM | | A good question to ask yourself is, Should I mold myself to get some thing, or should I be who I want to be and not sell out? If you put on an act, attract someone, down the road your true self will come out. At this time the person will **** about how much you've changed and the relationship will end. | |
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Posted: 11/21/2005 1:38:27 AM | I will admit, this one chick said she read what I put in the forums and wasn't impressed. Anyway, other than that, I don't really see a reason why anybody wouldn't be interested. I know I'm not a Hunchback of Notre Dame looking brotha. And I can be nice, but I mean, when no one gives you a chance, that shit gets old. Who knows, maybe I have feelings like an actual human after all (go figure).
"Some women probably just don't want to get into why they choose not to respond. On occasion you get a nasty message back. Not pleasant, why risk it?"
Constructive criticism. If I have a d*ck growing on my forehead and I just don't see it, it might actually help if someone points that out. I have yet to see any real reason why I would be deemed as.....undesirable.
"This is important, SHE DOESN'T HAVE TO. She is not obligated to message you back no matter how much you'd like her to. It's her choice!"
True. And I don't have to be a decent human being and not steal, lie, sell drugs, kill, etc., ....but I think it is only decent to not do these things. Point being, people don't have to do anything, true. But if they choose to be a rude or ill person, exactly how does that benefit anybody?
Oh and I'm not controlling. Just tired of the stupid "mystery", the games and the bullsh*t. Maybe one day I'll get on that jesus level and just accept the silliness of humanity, overcome my sexuality (?), and forgive everybody for doing things they should know better than to do. Until that day, the mission goes on. | |
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Posted: 11/21/2005 1:50:54 AM | I am yet to see the movie ‘the perfect woman’ (I like Oscar Wilde), but I remember from a preview = "if you are going to be guided by everybody else’s thoughts, what’s the point of having your own?” Why do you need so much feed back? It's going to drive you crazy towards all different directions. Be yourself and enjoy it. Not getting someone to respond to you, most of the times, has nothing to do with You, especially in the net. If you feel like being nice, be nice. If someone is rude and you want to stop them dry, do that.
While you are conducting your experiment, you might be missing out on communicating with a lovely responsive girl….. think about it
I am purely rhetoric here. No reply necessary
Have fun
Trix
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