| Your definition of clingy or needy
Posted: 12/3/2005 4:48:41 AM | | I haven't been in the forums that long, but i hear these words alot. What I'm wanting to know is define these, in your opinion so that maybe some people with these "symptoms", can start to change them for the future. | |
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| Your definition of clingy or needy
Posted: 12/3/2005 4:53:04 AM | Clingy: Wanting to be joined at the hip. Wanting to do EVERYTHING together: like if you're going somewhere, they ALWAYS want to go with you (even if you just need to run to the supermarket to grab some shampoo).
Needy: 1.) Insecurity issues. They need you to kiss their ass all the time. Or they get depressed a lot and need you to cheer them up. 2.) They can't get anything done on their own - they always need your help. | |
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| Your definition of clingy or needy
Posted: 12/3/2005 4:53:54 AM | halo....again that's a term...define this!
We throw these terms out there and a bunch of cliche's, but what exactly are the tell tale signs? | |
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| Your definition of clingy or needy
Posted: 12/3/2005 5:05:39 AM | Clingy: Can't stand for you to have any outside interests that do not include them. For example, if they hate camping and you love it, they go because they can't stand for you to go with out them. Then they make your life miserable the whole time. They don't like you to do ANYTHING without them. Now togetherness is fine...but what I'm saying is that they don't want you to have a life in any shape/form that doesn't include them. Give a person a little personal space now and then, for goodness sake. Absence sometimes does make the heart a little fonder.
Needy: Excessively needing reasurrance that you love them, they are the best you've ever had, they are not fat, they are not ugly, etc. Now everybody wants to hear that from time to time. But if they've gotta asked over and over...enough already! Another sure fire sign is that they want your opinion or assistance with every little decision. Do you think I should do this, do you think I should do that...get the picture?? | |
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| Your definition of clingy or needy
Posted: 12/3/2005 5:06:54 AM |      When I was a young lady in my early teens and for a long time in my life I was like this because:
A. I was inexperienced in life.
B. I looked to my husband for emotional support.
C. He could not give what I needed.
D. Self discovery and self validation was a foreign country.
Encourage your girlfriend or mates to seek self discovery and seek her own self esteem and to love herself as much as you love her. Tell her to find her own path to self awareness. Could be through self therapy, self support groups, church for her spiritual needs you nor the church cannot give. Beware of getting too involved in any church. Been there done that. Join an established church over 7-10 years with a healthy mix of all race and economic backgrounds. Trust me on this one. Balance is a key in life many of us need to be reminded of.
Peace and love to all. Dahlia.   | |
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| Your definition of clingy or needy
Posted: 12/3/2005 7:02:41 AM | high maintenance= always looking to have the better things in life as if money is not an issue and if a person is not up to standard, they are beneath you. they may also need to contribute a.k.a. "golddigger"
now, that is my definition of high maintenance broads, but I don't think that is her definition seeing as how this thread is about people being needy and clingy. So my man, you have done a good thing. You are allowing the people to become clearer about our communication with one another.  | |
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| Your definition of clingy or needy
Posted: 12/4/2005 8:28:26 PM | | Needy or clingy is a person who lacks the security of being seperate from the other in a relationship. When I used to talk to this guy for example, EVERY single time I said goodbye he wrote back an awwwweee.....you HAVE to go? Or he would say, COME ON, stay a little while!! I stopped talking to him because that was online and it was way too clingy and needy. I had the insight that if he was already that attatched to my presence then what would he do if I had to go pee during the date...beg me to hold it? Sorry, a little extreme of an example but you get it right!! Stuff like that is overwhelming ...a person likes to feel needed but not always overwhelmed!! :) | |
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| Your definition of clingy or needy
Posted: 12/5/2005 1:58:35 PM | Clingy: Always needing to either be with you, or be in contact with you, pretty much all the time. (Like you're at work and you get a phone call every 30 min. asking how you're doing.)
Needy: Some one who is looking for another person to take care of needs or make decisions that they should really be able to handle themself. Example:
Ring. Hi honey. Hi I'm at the grocery store. Right now they have Acme Wheat Bread on sale for $2.79 a loaf, but Stoney's Wheat Bread is 2 for $5.00. Which one should I get. Get whichever one you want. Well, I know you like Acme... Then get Acme. But Stoney's is a better deal...OK, get Stoney's. Are you sure? Blah blah blah...
I know it may sound funny, but to anyone who has had to deal with that type of thing daily, it eventually drives you nuts!!!
High Maintenance: A person who expects someone else to satisfy their personal needs/desires, usually at great expense to the second party. (either life $tyle, emotional, or just in normal interaction) that are above and beyond what would be considered "normal" | |
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| Your definition of clingy or needy
Posted: 12/5/2005 2:02:27 PM | A person who has no sense of autonomy in the relationship.
Key phrases:
"I am nothing without you."
"I can't live without you."
"All I can do is think of you."---literally!
"All I want to do is be with you every moment of every day."
While these are cute little things to say to someone you are newly infatuated with, they are not healthy staples of a serious relationship.
Neediness refers to an individual who has no sense of "self" and can't envision themselves apart from their beloved...really quite useless and pathetic without them. They are more like a little child than an adult with a sense of who they are individually.
Clinginess to me is when they go overboard with wanting you near. They are overly affectionate, never leave you alone...won't let you have any space...
I consider them emotional bloodsuckers...and I can't stand them. | |
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| Your definition of clingy or needy
Posted: 12/5/2005 2:03:11 PM | Clingy: Can't stand for you to have any outside interests that do not include them. For example, if they hate camping and you love it, they go because they can't stand for you to go with out them. Then they make your life miserable the whole time. They don't like you to do ANYTHING without them. Now togetherness is fine...but what I'm saying is that they don't want you to have a life in any shape/form that doesn't include them. Give a person a little personal space now and then, for goodness sake. Absence sometimes does make the heart a little fonder.
Needy: Excessively needing reasurrance that you love them, they are the best you've ever had, they are not fat, they are not ugly, etc. Now everybody wants to hear that from time to time. But if they've gotta asked over and over...enough already! Another sure fire sign is that they want your opinion or assistance with every little decision. Do you think I should do this, do you think I should do that...get the picture??
Please use THESE criterion..I PASS THIS TEST!!
but to anyone who has had to deal with that type of thing daily, it eventually drives you nuts!!!
"eventually"...meaning within 12 seconds and pretty much instantaneously causing separation if it happens more than once n such. . ;) | |
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| Your definition of clingy or needy
Posted: 12/5/2005 2:06:50 PM |
High maintenance!
That is wrong. A high maintenance partner is someone who takes advantage of the clingy and needy. For exemplification, tha clingy needy bro' buying nice stuff for the high maintenance ho.
Unless you mean high emotional maintenance. As in, needs lots of attention, affection, constant reassurance. That's not generally what people mean by high maintenance. | |
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| Your definition of clingy or needy
Posted: 12/5/2005 2:14:19 PM |
A person who has no sense of autonomy in the relationship.
Key phrases:
"I am nothing without you."
"I can't live without you."
"All I can do is think of you."---literally!
"All I want to do is be with you every moment of every day."
I don't mind that, coming from a woman. It's a woman's proper place to be like that. A man can't be masculine and behave that way, but a woman can still be feminine, while behaving that way.
A guy who behaves like that can't be attractive no matter what his other qualities may be like. He could have the body, brains, career, money, everything.
In my view, it's the woman who should be a little insecure, and I'm the big man who reassures her that everything is gawna be all right, sugar babe.
That balances the power in a proper way between the man and the woman. Because it's the woman's emotions that determine the direction the relationship takes and how long it lasts. Nature gives her the control, so she has to give some of that up.
Niggaz. | |
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| Your definition of clingy or needy
Posted: 12/5/2005 2:15:51 PM | Yeah ..what blastkist said, captured it perfectly. No autonomy. No..individuality. Couples need to have their own individual hobbies, goals, and interests, a decent blend. Like when you gotta pay them to go out with their own friends, if they have any friends to begin with, other than yourself.. thats clingy. Just as anoying as a needy person, and together a clingy needy person is one who invariably ends up hitting the curb all too quickly. Still, its all about the particular individual match-up and chemistry... for example, as..weirded out as it may sound, a guy whose a control freak may be perfect for a woman whose clingy, needy and cannot function without him... there is someone for everyone, right???
Since these are classic characteristics of someone with low or no self esteem, a good question (often NOT worth persuing) might be how and why the person got to be that way in the first place. | |
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| Your definition of clingy or needy
Posted: 12/5/2005 3:55:05 PM | @ the phone call from the grocery store -- oh, yes. Yes. I had one of those.
The flip side of the clingy person who has to go with you whenever you do anything even if he/she hates it -- and everyone else hate's them being there -- is the one who doesn't want you to go anywhere or do anything that doesn't include them. They want you to be their entire world - and vice versa. They've bought into the notion that love=claustrophobia, and that people in love don't need anything but each other. They're lonely - you're their pacifier. If you can do something with someone else - or by yourself - you don't need them, and if you don't need them, you might leave and then they'll be alone again. Clingy is acceptable in a two year old child who has just realized that mommy is not a part of him, and is terrified that if he lets her go, she'll never come back.
These forums are the first place that I've heard 'high maintenance' used with reference to monetary upkeep. I've always heard it used to refer to a man or woman who needs constant attention to keep them happy. It's a little edgier than 'needy' - a needy person sulks and is unhappy when you don't pay 'enough' attention to them. A high maintenance one... the sky can be the limit. Say no at the risk of spending the next three hours soothing and comforting. | |
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| Your definition of clingy or needy
Posted: 12/7/2005 10:22:38 AM |
@ the phone call from the grocery store -- oh, yes. Yes. I had one of those.
If I were filling purchase orders of that magnitude, I'd be calling the head office too. | |
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| Your definition of clingy or needy
Posted: 12/7/2005 10:34:04 AM |
I don't mind that, coming from a woman. It's a woman's proper place to be like that. A man can't be masculine and behave that way, but a woman can still be feminine, while behaving that way
hahahahahahahahaha 
um....ok | |
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7times
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Joined: 10/27/2005
Msg: 25 | |
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