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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Would you date someone with a mental illness?      Home login  
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 xxxbrittneyxxx
Joined: 2/10/2004
Msg: 1
Would you date someone with a mental illness?Page 1 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
recently...

I was asked out by a guy who is well maniac depressive,He's awesome and he's great to be around except on his down days as he puts it, I've had depression befor and sort of know what it's like but should I date him, I mean thats a big thing to deal with ,I told him I'd have to think about it.


I just don't know it's not cureable and there's constant drugs to keep him from getting to down ,I'm scared that he'll try to commit suicide or something,then what do I do ? I'm confused on what I should do ? so if anyone has expierence in this matter or even if you don't help is muchly needed

thank you for taking the time to read this
brittxoxo
 NoNameHero
Joined: 10/24/2004
Msg: 2
Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 12/29/2004 2:49:01 AM
seems like everybody's got something these days...

if the person was messed up with some serious mental illness, I think it would be hard. I wouldn't consider bipolar/manic depressive to be a serious illness, we all get depressed, but only some of us see things that aren't there (like a schitzo). I think alot of people blow their issues out of proportion, like how it seems like every unruly kid is on ADHD meds, just call us the Medicated Generation.

if any personal issue becomes a relationship issue, shouldn't that be the time to deal with it (rather than nipping it in the bud). It's his problem, so if you date him, and suddenly it becomes YOUR problem, thats the time to decide what to do, whether you want to keep going with it...
 DragonRider
Joined: 7/15/2004
Msg: 3
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Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 12/29/2004 8:30:02 AM
Hmmm.... Suicide... I think that a great deal of people have had truly black days in their lives, and have at least contemplated suicide.

Mental illness... aside from this he is normal? You like him? Have fun with him? Find him attractive? Go for it... perhaps your mere presence may help him counteract the blacker moods... As Hero said, if it becomes and issue, or YOUR issue, or starts consistently dragging the realationship down without it ever going back up... then it will be time to discuss it with him and make allowances or decisions as the case warrants.

Every relationship has risks, this one has one that is not common, but that does not necessarily make it more risky... If you are a big enough person, and he is aware of his issue and fights to control it rather that let it control him... I would hope that it would not become and issue...

~~Dragon Rider~~
The Dragon awakes, hope rises again
Happy New Year Folks
 limoshark
Joined: 2/15/2004
Msg: 4
Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 12/29/2004 8:41:44 AM
yes i would
 DragonRider
Joined: 7/15/2004
Msg: 5
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Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 12/29/2004 8:47:28 AM
Limo - - I have this condition... medication works... ;-)

~~Dragon Rider~~
The Dragon awakes, hope rises again
Happy New Year Folks
 w8in4u
Joined: 12/26/2004
Msg: 6
Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 12/29/2004 10:13:44 AM
britt,
We've all got something. I for one am either a mental illness or cause them, depending on the sun. Girl, get to know the guy. If you like him, date him.
Depression is very widespread. Now, if he's hearing voices or seeing things that aren't there; be careful. The voices may not like you.
 taurus516
Joined: 11/3/2004
Msg: 7
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Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 12/29/2004 11:23:25 AM
I was married 12 years to woman who was diagnosed dysthymic, a similar condition.I would run,not walk away as fast as I could.A work out buddy of mine at the gym had been in a similar situation and the advice he gave was the only thing that worked.He said,"Therapy or no therapy,counseling or no counseling,meds or no meds,your life will never be normal until she is out of your life and the kids will be the ones to suffer the most".A year later she took off leaving me with our two daughters,then ages 10 and 3.She has never been back and the only contact she has made with the kids has been one birthday card to the oldest the year she left and two phone calls.She left in 1998.
 limoshark
Joined: 2/15/2004
Msg: 8
Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 12/29/2004 11:32:20 AM
awareness and coping work as well. support of loved ones is a big helper too.

It may not always be a fun ride but you cant help who you love.
 navy4u
Joined: 5/1/2004
Msg: 9
Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 12/29/2004 11:36:49 AM
hey limo ....i dont have a mental illness, i think,or do i....but will you date me?!lol
 thatoneguy
Joined: 12/8/2004
Msg: 10
Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 12/29/2004 11:52:47 AM
Read this. Cuz this is real. I've been depressed before and the one thing that really made me want to committ suicide was people thinking that they had to do something so I wouldn't committ suicide. I mean how sad is that? someone thinking that I can't manage my own life without killing myself. So don't be a dumbass and think you are going to do something that going to save their life. You ain't superwoman so get over it. Just be real, as in human, and talk to them about it, and remind them of the positive things in their life. There is nothing more depressing than being around depressed people. Don't worry about them like your their mom cuz your not. If your their friend, then be their friend. Unless they ask you for help, or you if you ask them and they say they don't need help, then don't make someone's life worse than it already is. But if you really need to do something then give them some brownies and lace them with weed. Or maybe you should put out so they can relieve some stress. Just playin', some people are probably going to hate me for my answer but there is some truth to it.
 limoshark
Joined: 2/15/2004
Msg: 11
Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 12/29/2004 11:58:33 AM
yeah youre way off
 navy4u
Joined: 5/1/2004
Msg: 12
Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 12/29/2004 12:00:30 PM
D*MN....im shot down again...lol i was way off.....
 IfSheWouldOfBeenFaithful
Joined: 8/5/2004
Msg: 13
Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 12/29/2004 12:07:41 PM
Taurus, you couldn't be more right when you say "run don't walk, away as fast as you can " !
I have the almost exact same situation except I was left with 4 kids ! Mental illness' like this can suck all the life out of you and your relationship and it will take you down if you don't jump ship while you still have the chance . I was also married for 12 years and the last 3 years were complete HELL !!! Suicide attempts , multiple affairs , lies , manipulation and the list goes on and on . I was even made to believe that the child she had durring the last year of our marrige , was my son when in fact he was not . Mental illness can be in so many different forms and many different degrees , but if anyone thinks it will get better or just go away with time , is fooling themselves . From what I have seen it only gets worse . So find someone that is stable , and has a good relationship with their parents . Well that just my two cents . - Ifshewouldofbeenfaithful
 limoshark
Joined: 2/15/2004
Msg: 14
Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 12/29/2004 12:08:36 PM
navy you werent way off I was talking about thatoneguy he was way off.
I dont date, im sorry.
 navy4u
Joined: 5/1/2004
Msg: 15
Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 12/29/2004 12:11:43 PM
yeah neither do i....cause youd have to have someone to date first,...lol
 strangerstill
Joined: 12/20/2004
Msg: 16
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Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 12/29/2004 3:14:46 PM
I would like to say no but you really can't choose who you fall in love with.
 taurus516
Joined: 11/3/2004
Msg: 17
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Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 12/29/2004 3:42:18 PM
I feel your pain Ifshe.I spent hours in the library studying psych textbooks trying to figure out how to help her.That's actually how I learned to use the internet btw.It was to no avail.Counselors were as useless as tits on a boar hog.Medication only exposed the family to another side of her illness.In fact,the last med she was on turned her into a raving psycho hose beast.Yelling obscenities to our oldest daughter (she was 10 at the time and she was calling her a slut,b*tch and whore)and accusing me of multiple affairs.
No,you can't control who you fall in love with and it may hurt to let them go,but that pain will be temporary and you will find someone else who is stable.The pain you will experience living with a mentally ill person will last a lifetime.It's been 6 years since she left and me and the kids are still picking up the pieces.
 redneckgirl133
Joined: 11/18/2004
Msg: 18
Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 12/29/2004 5:40:31 PM
I would NEVER date anyone with a mental illness..I`ve dated men on meds, then they thought they were `okay` so they went off their meds...Oh my God girl, run for the hills...Unless you are a nurse, or or a health care professional, used to the mood swings..I`d say run for dear life..I know you can`t help who your heart loves..but you will have a rocky road with someone with a mental illness. Sleep with one eye open..redneckgirl133
 xxxbrittneyxxx
Joined: 2/10/2004
Msg: 19
Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 12/29/2004 9:47:27 PM
Whoa whoa!!!!
I'm not in love with him lol he just asked me out hew as my friend befor that...

phew now that that's done I've already told him that it's a no and it has nothin to do with his illness, actually I just wasn't ready for a realationship period,Thats thanks to this thread.I figure if I got all these questions about something I know nothing about .Then I obviosly am not prepared for whats to come thank you all for the advice and keep it comming I'm sure others need advice on this subject .

brittxoxo
 bowvalleymike
Joined: 12/16/2004
Msg: 20
Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 12/29/2004 10:23:58 PM
I would date a nymphomaniac.
 pnkflyd639723
Joined: 11/16/2003
Msg: 21
Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 12/29/2004 10:24:40 PM
ha that is funny stuff!
 bowvalleymike
Joined: 12/16/2004
Msg: 22
Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 12/29/2004 10:27:38 PM
Are you a nymphomaniac?
 Citan
Joined: 12/19/2004
Msg: 23
Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 12/30/2004 5:55:24 AM
Well... since your problem is solved miss, I'm kind of interested in the question of this thread so I'll be the first to keep it going...
I have always wanted to date a real schitzophrenic girl, I have researched that disease since I was probably 9, it fascinates me. That or some incarnation of SPD, or similiar. There is a really nice japanese horror movie called "Isola" about a girl who has I think 13 personalities, the third being Idola, who kills things... very good. Somehow I think it might be romantic, but the downside would be having to convince all of her personalities to like you... now there is a challange!
Who's next?
 taurus516
Joined: 11/3/2004
Msg: 24
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Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 12/30/2004 9:14:11 AM
My ex mother in law was a paranoid schizophrenic.I was fascinated by what I read about it and had seen on TV and such too.I was married a year and a half before I found out my mother in law was a schiz.A set of circumstances had her staying with us before we could get her placed ina treatment facility.It quickly lost it's fascination.If you're interested,do volunteer work in a mental health center or something but don't date one.
 strangerstill
Joined: 12/20/2004
Msg: 25
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Would you date someone with a mental illness?
Posted: 12/30/2004 9:21:26 AM
Theres nothing good about mental illness. It's a terrible thing to watch a loved one slowly self destruct and possibly even die.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Would you date someone with a mental illness?