| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 12/12/2005 11:31:16 AM | Ok,I'm somewhat turned off by grown males who still live at home, it would be different if his parent(s) couldn't provide 4 themselves or the guy was disabled, but when he's just moochin off his folks, that's a turn-off, do u agree? | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 12/12/2005 11:32:46 AM | Somewhat turned off? I would say fully turned off.
Over a certain age I expect someone to live on their own. There are circumstances that would explain why someone is living at home. But in the general sense... | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 12/12/2005 11:40:14 AM | | This should not be just limited to grown males. Grown females living at home can be just as bad. It appears the longer they live at home the more dependent they become. (I left home when I was very young). | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 12/12/2005 11:48:41 AM | | That’s just shallow, most grown men and woman have specific reasons for living back home with their parents. I’ve never had to move back home, but if I ever had too, I wouldn’t want to be judged on it. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 12/12/2005 11:55:23 AM | | I moved out when i was 16... Sometimes wish I could go back but the stubborn pride of mine forbids it:P... Anyways... I would be turned off if the man was living with his parents for no other reason than to sponge off them. If he was living there to help them out, or to save up some money for his own place/vehicle etc... I wouldnt mind. But if a person is just too lazy to get a job and depend on themselves than yess i would defintely not find them too appealing. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 12/12/2005 12:07:41 PM | After my dad's second stroke, I moved back home for a little while to help take care of him. I didn't get any dates during that period, but I didn't give a crap what any woman thought of it. He's my dad and at the time, he really needed the help.
I remember the OP writing that this acceptable, but actually, it didn't seem to be. It was still a turn off.
I asked a few women out during this period, and after dad was better and I moved out, two of the women approached me. I turned them down flat. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 12/12/2005 12:14:30 PM | @Summer teeth,
 Good for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I know people that have givien up everything they owned, Cars, houses and all, Just to fight the courts to keep the rights to their kids durring their divorces. They had to move home to survive. So some reasons ya'll have speaks volumes of yourselves!!!!!! | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 12/12/2005 12:22:17 PM | A friend of mine found out that his wife was cheating on him with a guy that still lived with his parents at age 27.....and when her husband found out about it, she said that the guy was smart to live with his parents and saved his money...
At least he got some revenge on her when they broke up. She had some nude pics up on a website and he sent the link to this website to all his friends (including myself)...
She was actually pretty hot... | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 12/12/2005 12:32:46 PM | I moved out when I was 17. I planned on never returning. After my marriage hit the rocks I found myself back there for 6 months to gain stability and just have someone to turn to.
It was the best move I ever made. I got to know my parents better and grow tons closer to them.
However, at the 6 month mark I knew it was time to get. Broke or not, time to get back to the real world.
So, I see it as a turn off, but I do think special conditions arise. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 12/12/2005 3:10:07 PM | I view this topic two ways:
For someone in their early to mid 20's: I think it's OK while they're in college (if locally) and until about 6 months (maybe 1 year in the high cost areas) after they have gotten a full-time job. Once working, get out for good.
For someone 40 and over: If it's a matter of the parent living with them, not them living with the parent, big difference. I have one acquaintance who moved in with his parents (he's in his 50's), but he's there because if his parents don't take their meds, they'll end up doing crazy things like walk down the middle of the street at 3 a.m. naked. He cannot afford to (nor wants to) put them in an assisted-living situation. One parent since passed away.
In contrast, I have a client who, after his divorce, moved back to his mother's house. He hasn't been able to pay his fair 50% share of expenses, and is therefore being subsidized. He can't afford to move out, and is in his 50's. I don't like that situation one bit, but also can't make any suggestions to him to remedy the situation - except to get a higher paying job. He's also currently in major debt and has filed bankruptcy once in his life already.
I was out for 2 years during college, came back for the last 2, but wasn't fully self-sufficient until age 24 (one year into full-time employment). However, as a condition of being back, I had to at least have a part-time job while finishing school (last 2 years which I also paid for). I haven't been back or dependent on them in any way since. In contrast, my boss at my first FT job was 35 and lived with his parents so he could blow his money on European vacations. I never liked him. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 12/12/2005 3:14:49 PM | | I don't know. I'm 20 and still living with my mum.... It's easier than working a full time job and going to school full time and trying to make ends meet on 7 bucks an hour. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 12/12/2005 3:23:55 PM | | Ok well I live on my own and I work at a job that I make 1200 a month. I am barely making it. Am I going home any time soon? No but if I could I would. In this day and age money is tight for a lot of people. Many single people can't make ends meet unless they have a roommate which I refuse to live with someone I don't know so I just go hungry. Yet if I ever needed to go back I would no matter what people think. I did go back for four months cause I lost everything in a fire. It was nice knowing I didn't have to stress out about money but I am an adult and hopefully someday ends will meet. Until then I'll just continue being hungry | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 12/12/2005 3:29:08 PM | Lady,
You're 20. So it's okay. I didn't do it though. I worked full time and went to school full time and lived on my own. It was tough, but I wouldn't have traded it for the world. Was I invited to dinner a lot by friends and family because I was so broke?--Sure. But I really enjoyed my independence--and I still do--and I needed that space to get my education; and even though I worked through school, I graduated Cum laude. It can be done. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 12/12/2005 3:40:50 PM | im 20 and if my parents lived in the same country, there's no way i would be living alone or even pay bills. my parents believe its their job to provide everything i need till i graudate from college and i totally agree. unfortunately, they're not based in the US so i have to get a job and pay bills. honestly, i would live with them till i got married. whats the point in wasting money when i can save it?
if it were a guy, it would depend on the circumstances. like my ex, he dropped out of school and moved in with mommy and daddy. he and daddy drove the same benz slk convertible. daddy's was silver and his was greenish silver or something. and he, mommy and daddy, live happily together. and oh, he was daddy's dental assistant in his dad's dentistry or something. yep, mommy and daddy shipped him to rehab when he started drinking too much.  | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 12/12/2005 3:55:09 PM | It all depends on the situation.
If the guy or girl is:
Going to a local college AND
Paying their own tuition AND
Helps pay the bills
Then it is not mooching.
On the other hand, if the guy does not want to go to college or learn a trade
AND does not want to work...then that is being a mooch.
Ie. slacker and lazy and immature.
Once I graduated from college, got a job in my profession,
i bought a home and love being a loner. | |
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jdctx
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Joined: 6/8/2005
Msg: 17 | |
| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 12/12/2005 5:27:33 PM | I would be leary of seeing someone who still lived with mom or dad...Now if she has plans like school or she is taking care of a sick parent that's different..
I date a woman for 8 yrs that lived with her dad for 5 yrs of our relationship ,until he passed away... When she was finally on her own things really changed. She became a different person and we grew apart.. She had previously live her life in a way she thought her dad wanted her too..For about the first year she lived as if her father was still around. The following years she slowly changed into someone I could no longer be with...What was a sweet quite responsible one man woman became a heavy drinking parting multi man woman..
This situation could have gone any other way too. The point is she had never been on her own where she could discover herself.. | |
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woozoo
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Joined: 6/14/2005
Msg: 18 | |
| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 12/12/2005 5:29:05 PM | First of all, if you are in your 20's you are most likely not making a lot of money. If you are post unversity/college, then you have student loans to pay back (unless you have rich parents).
I don't view it as a turn off simply cause I don't understand the circumstances. It could be that the person is living with mum and dad to help out (maybe one or both are sick/disabled).
I would recommend that before you make a snap judgement... that you obtain full disclosure. You may be shutting the door on a person that is truely great, without a good enough reason. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 12/12/2005 6:30:40 PM | As a fellow who left home i admire people that can stay with their folks....I wish i had longer.
Heck to me thats way better than the welfare people living in an apartment taking money from the governement coffers that i paid into.
Or being so incompatible they had to leave as they are to miserable to live with.
See, it all depends on how you look at it.  | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 12/12/2005 6:44:30 PM | | i am 23 and i live with my mom. i go to school full time and i have 2 kids. i used to live on my own but working full time going to school and taking care of my kids got to be too stressfull and complicated. i had no time to study for school and no time to spend with my kids. so i moved back home. i like it here b/c my mom and i split the cost here. i buy the groceries and she pays the utilities. i also run errands for her like take my younger sister to her appointments. the only thing wrong with it is, she will never babysit for me!!! lol. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 12/12/2005 6:58:09 PM | | I have a friend who will soon be 26 and she still lives at home. It irritates me all the time how she B*tches about how unfair it is when her mom buys her kid brothers stuff and not her. She also gripes about having no money but hell, she doesn't have to pay bills and she shops all damn day. If you are trying to better yourself, i say FINE! But freeloaders annoy me and quiet frankly, my friend is doing nothing but working! She is mad as hell right now because her parents won't buy a house and rent it to her. SPOILED! | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 12/12/2005 7:10:11 PM | | And there are a few - admittedly rare - cases where the adult lives with his/her parents because everyone likes it that way. I have a friend in his mid-20s who lives at home because he enjoys being in the middle of his family. He gets to be a real big brother to his little brother (there's 16 years between them) and likes being there to help with stuff like redoing the wallpapering or painting the house. His parents like having him at home, he contributes to the household and he enjoys being with his family - seems like an all around win-win situation as long as it's working for everyone. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 12/12/2005 7:17:43 PM | I think there is only one way that non-judgmental and mature adults can look at some of the situations where grown men and women stay with their parents..... 
'Nuff said. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 12/12/2005 7:28:41 PM | | Been on my own since I was 14, left and never went back, wouldn’t change that fact if I could. But in my line of work I see it with both sexes everyday. Dead beats who wont stand on there own two feet. | |
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| Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 12/12/2005 7:50:48 PM | it depends. i think this varies culturally. in some cultures, the children live at home while their still in school. i mean, if you are going to be a doctor or working on a phd, well, you might be at home for quite a while! lol!
i think it depends on the reason why someone is living at home. no situation is black and white, but if the guy is an obvious loser, than yeah, i would be completely turned off.
lar4 | |
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