Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > What's up with guys just wanting to talk about sex all the time?? Yet      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 uvljyvb
Joined: 11/27/2005
Msg: 1
What's up with guys just wanting to talk about sex all the time?? Yet say they want "longterm"Page 1 of 1    
Why is it when you meet someone off here...e-mail, chat, really click, seem to have alot in common...start talking on the phone, the first few conversation's are very cool then they say something like "Man I really want to be inside you!!"....Huh??? Is it just me..or is that like totally disrespectful? Granted..this person may be from another country, so is this just an American thing that you just don't start talking about your****all the time or how you like to "Eat someone out"? I mean come on...have a little class here. Truly, I'd like to know....are these normal topics of conversation when you are first getting to know someone? Have any other women, or men for that matter, had this kind of thing happen? And if so how did you or would take it? This is happening to me at the moment and I'm not sure I want to meet this person now (we are supposed to be meeting soon)...any advice on this?
 Xfahctor
Joined: 12/11/2005
Msg: 2
What's up with guys just wanting to talk about sex all the time?? Yet say they want longterm
Posted: 12/14/2005 4:27:13 PM
if its not encouraged or even hinted at by you then its plain rude, its not u dear
 skifastnh
Joined: 11/19/2005
Msg: 3
view profile
History
What's up with guys just wanting to talk about sex all the time?? Yet say they want longterm
Posted: 12/14/2005 5:01:25 PM
I won't lie here. I have no problem with long-term, matter of fact most of them have been long-term 4 years up to 6. The problem after the break-up is most guys don't want to jump into a new relationship but still have there needs. Some guys are**** and use women for a one night stand. Others become friends or confirm with that person that they are not interested in any commitment, just a friend with benefits. I hope that make sence? Me I am a horny basterd but I can take care of that myself. At least a couple times a day....lol. I don't need to go to bars every night and jump from on bed to another. That is why I bought a webcam, I can play and be safe. And I like to watch and be watched, it is a turn-on for me. Sorry for running off the subject there...lol
 OnTheBus
Joined: 9/12/2004
Msg: 4
What's up with guys just wanting to talk about sex all the time?? Yet say they want longterm
Posted: 12/14/2005 5:06:12 PM
dont talk about sex. Plain and simple.
 KingJPW
Joined: 10/28/2005
Msg: 5
view profile
History
What's up with guys just wanting to talk about sex all the time?? Yet say they want longterm
Posted: 12/14/2005 5:14:53 PM
Right, dont talk about sex. Just do it.
 TechnoBear
Joined: 11/10/2004
Msg: 6
What's up with guys just wanting to talk about sex all the time?? Yet say they want longterm
Posted: 12/14/2005 5:21:47 PM

What's up with guys just wanting to talk about sex all the time?? Yet say they want longterm


Simple really. They want sex longterm!

That was easy.
 Lord Temujin
Joined: 12/13/2005
Msg: 7
What's up with guys just wanting to talk about sex all the time?? Yet say they want longterm
Posted: 12/14/2005 5:50:11 PM
As a member of the male race...I can say quite firmly..that most of the time thinking about something other then sex is rather a large pain in the ass..now..the easiest way to get those thoughts out is to speak..deal with it. Or hang up and lose the guys number..Don't much care.
 jengiz65
Joined: 12/8/2005
Msg: 8
What's up with guys just wanting to talk about sex all the time?? Yet say they want longterm
Posted: 12/14/2005 5:57:08 PM
I would advise you NOT meet the man, Cuz if he's talking about that stuff already, Then it's all he's really thinking about...You deserve better than!!..A real man would have class as you said...On behalf of all real men, Im sorry he offended you so soon!..
 Blastkist
Joined: 5/28/2005
Msg: 9
What's up with guys just wanting to talk about sex all the time?? Yet say they want longterm
Posted: 12/14/2005 6:39:01 PM
I have no clue why they do this. I think they are "testing the waters" to see if they'll get a nibble. Some women go for that, some don't. I don't. If I wanted to spend my lifetime talking about sex I'd never have it, but then he likely isn't getting any or he's obsessed with it, talking about it that is.

I think the whole online thing is a bit off when it comes to talking about what you want as far as sexual compatibility with someone if you haven't even met them in person yet. Then again, some are willing to take that chance.

The problem with some men is that is ALL they know how to talk about. They have NO conversational skills so it's something they feel they at least can speak on confidently. I think men who do this demonstrate a lack of intelligence, class or that they are obsessed with something they just aren't getting.

Big turn off.
 sexyshooter
Joined: 11/25/2005
Msg: 10
What's up with guys just wanting to talk about sex all the time?? Yet say they want longterm
Posted: 12/14/2005 6:54:42 PM
Is it wrong to say that they want longterm and still talk about sex????
 hardbiker
Joined: 11/14/2005
Msg: 11
What's up with guys just wanting to talk about sex all the time?? Yet say they want longterm
Posted: 12/14/2005 6:56:19 PM
Maybe the fact that you can get along great in all other fasits of the relationship how ever even women will state the fact that if the sex is'nt any good then the relationship is going to be questionable.The thing that bother's me is the fact that most women will compain to there girlfreinds about the fact that there boyfreind/lover does'ent do things right and yet they won't tell him how they want it done perhaps you might answer the long asked question WHY.
 uvljyvb
Joined: 11/27/2005
Msg: 12
What's up with guys just wanting to talk about sex all the time?? Yet say they want longterm
Posted: 12/14/2005 9:42:03 PM
Hell...I don't know...men are different from women..I know this is a fact. And trust me, I have no problem talking about sex, having phone sex, what have you....but only AFTER I'm actually involved with you. Come on...you don't get to know somebody by finding out the size if their penis or answering their stupid questions about "squirting" or "Blow jobs" before even meeting them...that's just NOT intelligent conversation to me. Yes, sex is great, we all love it..but it DOES NOT make a relationship. If a guy just wants sex why can't he just be honest and say so from the start...I'm sure there are a lot of chicks out there who want the same.
 dvalkerie720
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 13
What's up with guys just wanting to talk about sex all the time?? Yet say they want longterm
Posted: 8/27/2008 6:42:51 PM
I found this great article today ... in a self help column...

I completely agree with you here that you shouldnt share that much about ones sexual past when on a date. It tends to put people in a place of judgement or want to delve deeper into someones pants. Let me explain...Men generally like to talk about sex ... believe it or not so do women .. but not with someone they dont know that well or someone they dont trust.

In my dating past, since I was 17, I have had to learn the hard way that once you open up that door to the bedroom most men wont come back out of it, your conversations are no longer about your daily life, how are you, whats new, its about .. sex and what you have and havent done in your past what would you do in your future, secret fantasies.. etc. Personally, I retain the comment that I dont kiss and tell which usually gets the guy in the defensive and they instantly assume that that I am a prude, which is very much not the case. Once a guy goes to that place conversationally, and this is all just pre-date chat mind you, I completely shut down and have adopted the philosophy that my favorite word in the english dictionary is NEXT!

It has been about 5 years since i have had a serious relationship and thought that maybe its my tactics and maybe I should share more with someone but I would rather someone be interested in me not my sexuality.. So seeing this article made me feel better about why Im doing things the way I am...

Hey Doc!
I've been dating off and on since my divorce a few years ago. I generally am completely open with my dates, and willingly share information about my life history.
I've just met a gal who is a Psychologist. She has challenged my practice, saying that there are some things that are better not to share with your dates. For example, she doesn't want to know about sexual relations I had with my last partner, and has been unwilling to disclose much about her own recent sexual history. Her stated concern is that I might judge her if I don't like something she's done in the past, or vice versa.

I am curious, is there a general position that psychologists or psychiatrists take on sharing one's life history with people you are dating?

Hello!

I couldn't agree more - with her.
This belief you have in being totally open and honest; while a lofty goal isn't healthy or practical; let alone possible.
There is a general belief that being totally open and honest is somehow the cornerstone of a good relationship. That's just not the case. This is an attempt by those with great fear of being lied to and a lack of belief and trust in themselves to deal with other's lies, to off-load their own responsibilities onto someone else and to make that person responsible for their personal mental health.
I'm not advocating the opposite here, but trying to be totally open and honest may feel good on the surface but is not otherwise healthy.
Here's the reality: everybody, but everybody lies. That's just the way it is. Lying is such a part of the human experience it's built right into our communication systems. In fact, it's impossible not to lie! Likewise, it's impossible to be totally open and honest too. Trying to hold someone else to a standard of not lying isn't reasonable when we, ourselves can't even meet it.
You're taking that mistaken belief to an extreme by "outing yourself" on things that your dates really don't need or even want to know!
George, nobody buys a novel only to turn to the last page to find out who "did it", and then puts it on the shelf, satisfied. Another part of the human experience is the joy of discovering who our partners (and dates) are. This happens over time as we gather information and build a picture - and sometimes that picture gets changed in both subtle and some not-so-subtle ways. This unfolding of reality helps us to "discover" the other person and frankly, is more than half the fun.
You're trying to unload every truth up front as though your dates will somehow benefit from the knowledge. They won't, and frankly, that just puts far too much pressure on them anyway.
In fact, this psychologist is spot-on. Don't feel that you need to unload (more like "vomit") any part of your life all over someone as though that's "healthy" and will build a solid relationship - it's not, and it won't. Not even if lying was what caused your divorce.
 I-Want-Off-of-POF
Joined: 8/8/2008
Msg: 14
What's up with guys just wanting to talk about sex all the time?? Yet say they want longterm
Posted: 8/27/2008 7:06:02 PM
Some guy instant messaged me a few weeks ago...I said hello back while looking for his profile. He said that he went to church every Sunday and Wednesday night and he hoped that wasn't going to be a problem. I thought, oh, ok...nice Christian man---I will converse. After the instant messaging experience, we swapped emails, then later phone numbers. During the first phone conversation, it turned to sex. I said nothing to elude to that either. It was a total turn off as I thought he wasn't another player. I would rather save some things for later rather than with a perfect stranger.
 pussykatlover
Joined: 7/31/2008
Msg: 15
view profile
History
What's up with guys just wanting to talk about sex all the time?? Yet say they want longterm
Posted: 8/27/2008 9:25:56 PM
If you can't handle a man being sexually attracted to you online, then maybe you should just look for a friend. Yeah, your guy is definitely not a player, a player would never do anything to make a woman feel uncomfortable. I've become fed up with the "nice guys" who would never show that they're attracted to me and tell me that they want me for my body.
 superbadzzz
Joined: 8/16/2008
Msg: 16
What's up with guys just wanting to talk about sex all the time?? Yet say they want longterm
Posted: 8/27/2008 9:47:07 PM
LTRs require similar sex appetites.
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > What's up with guys just wanting to talk about sex all the time?? Yet say they want "longterm"