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| It's time: Brutally Honest Profile Reviews ... as promised
Posted: 12/16/2005 9:07:53 AM | A fine time for me to introduce this thread, I believe, since Veedub has recently retired.
Exams are done, so I have plenty of time to bash all of your profiles.
Don't expect me to be nice. Don't review my profile. Don't come back at me with negative responses after I review you. Don't tell me I'm a b*tch. I already know that I am; that's why I'm starting this thread.
So, bring it on! Its show time!
[user name removed from subject line, this is disallowed/pandy] | |
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| It's time: Brutally Honest Profile Reviews by Kikilynn... as promised
Posted: 12/16/2005 9:43:05 AM | Oh dearest steamcatcher...
Thanks for being my first customer!
I must tell you, the current revision of your profile is much improved, and it is far better than the ones you have on Lavalife (That's right... I checked out your other picture!)
With respect to your pedophile picture... I just don't know what to tell you. I know that this has already stirred up some controversy. Aside from the children thing, the photo is very poor quality, which I can't stand. I must admit that I'm shocked that you are rated a 5.55 with that picture! On the positive side, no one can tell that you're only 5'5 when you're hanging out with children. So, my overall recommendation is to gather up some young children to stand around you and get a clear shot of yourself to post on your profile. And while your at it, get a clear head shot that you can post. Digital cameras are relatively cheap these days, so you really have no excuse to not have one.
So, a few notes:
*I prefer not to see any "Prefer Not To Say" on anyone's profile. I find its a little... what's the word... fishy?
*I find that you don't have any interesting interests. Beef it up a little. Add something spicy maybe...
*I really think you should remove the comment which states that you've "won" because you haven't taken the plunge yet... it makes you sound like a bit of a commitment-a-phobe.
*Also, the comment about only changing things that are the devil? I find that a bit scary... are you insinuating that you have devilish qualities, or that some part of you is the devil, or what exactly???
*With regards to the lyrics, "Ne me quitte pas"... do you honestly think that anyone is going to know who sings it??? Where the hell are you getting your crack from?
Anyway, otherwise, very nice, sincere. I like it. | |
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| It's time: Brutally Honest Profile Reviews by Kikilynn... as promised
Posted: 12/16/2005 10:04:51 AM | Wow, thank you so very much, I'm almost impressed... I have a 5.55?! wow, I'm HOT! Thank God for blurry pictures, eh?
*I use "prefer not to say" once because I've been told that having kids and saying I don't want kids sounds bad, but I don't want to have MORE kids... and even a woman without kids, who is relatively sure she doesn't want any is fine too, but exceptions are always a possibility...I don't think they have an umbrella heading for THAT!
*Does anyone read the interests part, if they do, I'm so sorry, I'll get on that. right away
*Any woman I'll be interested in should be able to tell from the feel of the profile that I'm being facecious about winning
*We all have a little devil in us...some of us more than others;)
*AND I was extremely impressed with the answers I received knowing the original writer and subsequent "copy cats" that performed versions of that song, so :P
Thanks so much for the review, and lots of luck that you get some of the weirdos that I got, to spicen up your thread! | |
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| Hobbes26
Posted: 12/16/2005 1:06:18 PM | Hey there, thanks for coming out.
Pictures: They're pretty good. I think that the second one with the cigar is the best, I'd make it your main photo. It never hurts to have all eight up there, but my motto is, don't put up pics, just to put up pics. Its all about quality.
Your profile is quite good. My only problems are that it sounds a bit chatty, and it contains "lol's". Just try to get to the point.
Overall, good job. One of the better male profiles that I've read. | |
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| BigBlack81
Posted: 12/16/2005 1:18:09 PM | Name: Unoriginal, but as far as I know its far too late to change that now.
Pictures: I'm not really impressed. I think you can do a better job of cleaning yourself up and taking some nice, CLEAR shots. And please, don't try to dress up like you're about to rob a bank in your profile pictures, okay?
Interests:
Stikki Ikki Ikki :D
What the f*ck is that??? Also, while I'm here, no ':D' in your profile, okay?
About me: Need some serious work here. First, it sounds like it was written by a child. Don't include lists of stuff. We want to know about you, and what you're looking for. That's it, that's all. Make sure to write it using good sentence structure, accurate spelling and correct grammar.
First date: Oh look, I just found what you're looking for. It doesn't go here pal. And again, a list. Surprise, surprise. As for your actual first date idea. Sounds interesting, definitely creative and different. What concerns me is the "dream homes to die in." Listen pal, trust me here, just go with dream homes. Leave out death, please! I don't even f*cking know you!
Good luck. You've got some work to do. | |
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DKD15
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Joined: 4/18/2005
Msg: 16 | |
| BigBlack81
Posted: 12/16/2005 1:23:29 PM | | take a crack at mine, when you get a chance | |
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| O-T-B
Posted: 12/16/2005 1:31:46 PM | F*ckin' figures the regulars would stop in...
My first impression, 'Oh my God, do I have to read all of this???
Gotta say, your headline is perfect!!! You almost won me over right there.
Picture: Do you know what no head shot says to me? It tells my you must be fugly. For those of you who don't know, fugly means "f*ckin' ugly!" Come on, put up a damn picture!
You can't be that bad, can you??
There is only ONE original!!!! and it is I
Structure, structure, structure. There is only one original (comma) and it is I(exclamation mark).
Your profile is quite refreshing. Well written and sneaky. Love it. However, you have no first date, and half of your profile is written under first date. And then there's some random list.
Anyway, whatever floats your boat, pal. Its obviously working for you because you're on 114 favorites lists. | |
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| owenwilson
Posted: 12/16/2005 1:42:53 PM | Oh dear... this is going to take some work.
First and foremost, I really hope that Owen Wilson is not your real name!!! If it is, you're an idiot!
You need a catchy headline. Think of something original. Maybe something that relates to you or your personality in someway.
Now, in case you haven't stopped into the forums to read about body hair, most women don't like it. So the picture of your rug... probably not a great idea. Now, if you happen to wax it... and then you put up an after pic... that could be good for a chuckle... but otherwise, please, spare me!
Alright, I am new at this and thought I should re-do my description due to lack of response. I am a 35 year old man. I live in Austin, Texas.
Unnecessary. There is absolutely no reason to restate the items from your general information. The only thing it tells me is that you are capable of forming basic sentences.
In general, your writing style is just, blah... boring.
And please, don't use this space to write about how bad your past relationships were. That clearly spells out 'baggage' to me.
I don't know what to tell you Owen. Try to spice it up. Get creative. Consider a short paragraph about what makes you interesting, and then a short paragraph about what you're looking for. | |
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| sapphireskiez
Posted: 12/16/2005 1:49:11 PM | Okay, I'm a chick and I'm thinkinig, "F*ck, this is going to take a while to read." Guys have even shorter attention spans. Keep that in mind. You are however, on 189 favorites lists, and that is clearly because you look f*ckable. You're seriously hot!
That said, it's sad that you are really blonde. You seriously cannot spell! Or, you're chosing to sound stupid. I think the content of your profile is okay, but, honestly, get it together in the spelling, sentence structure and grammar department. And don't use acronyms. | |
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| owenwilson
Posted: 12/16/2005 1:50:46 PM | oh kiki
You're just not used to manly men who have bodily hair, when your boyfriends are old enough, they'll get some too...;P | |
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| DKD15
Posted: 12/16/2005 1:57:14 PM | Your headling could be catchy if it had proper grammar and correct spelling.
Tag, you're it!
Your pictures all suck. The ones of you are poor quality, and the rest are just filler. Useless crap. Quality, not quantity, please!
So, Drew, I guess you don't know that when you use the personal pronoun, I, you capitalize it! Get it? Got it? Good!
Otherwise, your profile is okay.
Do add a fun, original, spicy first date idea. | |
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| DKD15
Posted: 12/16/2005 2:54:19 PM | | Can you look mine over. My pictures are still needing work but give it to me anyway. | |
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| DKD15
Posted: 12/16/2005 3:52:00 PM | Can you look over mine please?
I've been trying to get it looked at for a while now. :(
Thank you in advance! | |
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| O-T-B
Posted: 12/16/2005 6:50:47 PM | Hey thanks.
No pic for good reason. I send my pic to my friends, and they like it. I used to have it up, but I like the anonymity. Couldt really give a toss about on line dates. They make their intentions known well enough without my pic anyway.
Random list came from Squirrlys post about words that women love in their profiles I put it in as a joke. And 114? wow, it was 117 last week | |
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