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 Kubla Khan
Joined: 12/8/2005
Msg: 1
What is it that makes you feel secure in a relationship?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
What is it that makes you feel secure in a relationship? What signs do you use to judge if they are or aren't committed to you?
 zgirlbeautiful
Joined: 9/25/2005
Msg: 2
What is it that makes you feel secure in a relationship?
Posted: 12/16/2005 4:57:43 PM
because of past baggage sometimes its very difficult at first to feel secure...but if you both communicate and respect each other and are willing to show that person that feels a little insecure some empathy then time will prove your faithfulness...you have to be very open and honest about everything
 WorkingGirl
Joined: 1/31/2005
Msg: 3
What is it that makes you feel secure in a relationship?
Posted: 12/16/2005 5:01:33 PM
Not so much a sign for me, but a gut feeling. It's rarely wrong.

If I suspect even a hint of unfaithfulness, I'm outta there. I won't live that life again.

Ever.
 uneekguy
Joined: 10/15/2005
Msg: 4
What is it that makes you feel secure in a relationship?
Posted: 12/16/2005 5:07:01 PM
I cuff her to the bed and if she gets out of the cuffs and disappears....then I know she wasn't committed....GEEZ!
 Julietl66
Joined: 11/27/2005
Msg: 5
What is it that makes you feel secure in a relationship?
Posted: 12/17/2005 4:14:10 AM
Actions speak far louder than words. People "say" a lot of things--but when they follow through on what they say---that's a good indicator that they are trustworthy. Only once trust has been established, can security begin to grow.
 bigsmile
Joined: 4/25/2005
Msg: 6
What is it that makes you feel secure in a relationship?
Posted: 12/17/2005 6:03:44 AM
"Secure" is such an all encompassing thing and it grows slowly I think.

My ex and I fought about his driving all the time....I just couldn't keep my mouth shut about it or it showed on my face or whatever. I recently was on a trip with a man and on the way home I made a tiny comment about watching out for a car and he said something reassuring that immediately made me "know for sure" he had it handled, under control, I could trust him with my life. I never even looked at the other cars after that.......I was safe.

I think that type of security is built brick by brick in a relationship and if you get the whole house built it stands the test of time.

And just for visual purposes.....imagine the house standing there strong and beautiful and see a cannon ball blowing a hole in the side of it with your loved ones inside unaware of what's about to happen.......that's what lies, cheating, talking about your spouse behind her/his back to others in very ugly ways does to whatever your have built. THINK ABOUT IT.
 dbndon
Joined: 7/15/2005
Msg: 7
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What is it that makes you feel secure in a relationship?
Posted: 12/17/2005 9:08:16 AM
.
It’s the little things. The random acts of kindness a couple in love will usually do for each other -- things that were unasked and unexpected. The many personal little things you just “do” and then forget. Sometimes things that are not even noticed by the other right away but tend to make the other person’s life a little easier or more interesting. Add in happy companionship and affection and you usually have a winning relationship.
.
 SXXXYLICIOUS2
Joined: 12/21/2005
Msg: 8
What is it that makes you feel secure in a relationship?
Posted: 12/23/2005 3:52:01 PM
I know he is committed to me when :

- I meet his family, relatives etc and they accept me.
- He allows me to stay in his place while he goes to work
- He leaves his cell phone with me and it's not locked
- He gives me the pin to his bank card
- He holds my hand in public
- He introduced me to his guy friends already
- He calls me his " girlfriend " in public

I know he is NOT COMMITTED to me when :

- He is dating other people
- He hasn't called in a while
- He doesn't trust you with his phone
- The conversation is awkward and almost boring
- I haven't seen what the inside of his house, bedroom looks like ( meaning, he hasn't invited me yet to his home )
- His family members don't know who you are
 Frrosty
Joined: 3/21/2004
Msg: 9
What is it that makes you feel secure in a relationship?
Posted: 12/23/2005 5:09:48 PM
Communication.....proximity......and respect. Shared growth and mandates help alot!!

I always said that I would not GET jealous were I to live with a girl because I would have the chance to communicateb often, even without words, and the proximity to cover any insecurities. (I still believe it to this day)

*shrugs*

Maybe those who like to lie could get a lil better at it too? Many old flames tried to lie to me and plat me (not white lis either), and fell so very short of connecting the dots and leaving no strings hanging. (I'm sort of sharp when it comes to seeing that which is not so "true")

I guess^ that goes to "respect". They didn't respect the fact that I was smart enough to see the loose threads or parts that did not add up.
 Blastkist
Joined: 5/28/2005
Msg: 10
What is it that makes you feel secure in a relationship?
Posted: 12/23/2005 5:18:10 PM
I'm not sure. I can't say as I have ever felt secure but the relationships I got into weren't of the sort to offer security really...they were lessons I needed to learn first , about myself and about my past.

I imagine that feeling truly secure is a quiet sort of contentment that you have no doubts or suspicions that their feelings for you aren't genuine and that they reassure you of that from time to time and re-cement that emotional bond.

Ultimately, I would be happy to find complete security within myself and have faith that life will carry me to where I'm supposed to go.

Finding a man who won't build up my trust and then tear it down in one fell swoop would be nice too. I can't say as I have ever had any man make me feel truly secure yet. I stress the word yet...I remain hopeful...but I'll accept what comes.
 Funny_Girl
Joined: 10/27/2005
Msg: 11
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What is it that makes you feel secure in a relationship?
Posted: 12/23/2005 5:25:17 PM
When he gives me his honesty.
 Frrosty
Joined: 3/21/2004
Msg: 12
What is it that makes you feel secure in a relationship?
Posted: 12/23/2005 6:03:16 PM
many women cannot handle ^ that (promise)
 livewirehere
Joined: 8/10/2004
Msg: 13
What is it that makes you feel secure in a relationship?
Posted: 12/23/2005 6:06:53 PM
It's a certain kind of unconditional love, where if either of you does something totally stupid, you know it can be resolved and you'll be forgiven. ((I'm not talking about cheating, either))..
 macncheese
Joined: 7/20/2004
Msg: 14
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What is it that makes you feel secure in a relationship?
Posted: 12/23/2005 8:21:28 PM
what makes me feel secure...? cheetos and yoohoo. if i come home every day and have cheetos and yoohoo, can't ANYTHING be bad!
 JuJuBee
Joined: 1/24/2004
Msg: 15
What is it that makes you feel secure in a relationship?
Posted: 12/23/2005 9:38:42 PM
Honesty, trust, a light touch, small things that mean alot. The feeling that trust is a given, not a "priveledge". All of us have a sucky relationship or whatever the case may be from time to time.
Seems like secure is a state of mind? If you aren't secure w yourself, how can you be secure w/ someone in a relationship?
 petetoky
Joined: 12/18/2005
Msg: 16
What is it that makes you feel secure in a relationship?
Posted: 12/23/2005 10:09:13 PM
What makes me feel secure........when the ONE is around thinking of US -together as a couple.

When two people are a number-they become 1.
 honestly_over_your_knee
Joined: 6/4/2005
Msg: 17
What is it that makes you feel secure in a relationship?
Posted: 12/23/2005 10:20:05 PM
I think that security is gained primarily via verbal communication that is directly displayed in actions. So, yes, telling your partner that you love them in a commited relationship is important, but that love must shine through in your actions as well or the verbal confirmation means nothing.
 Ms. Picky
Joined: 1/11/2005
Msg: 18
What is it that makes you feel secure in a relationship?
Posted: 12/23/2005 10:27:01 PM
Communication
Respect
Consideration
Affection (k. call me needy if you have to.)
 terran991
Joined: 5/28/2005
Msg: 19
What is it that makes you feel secure in a relationship?
Posted: 12/23/2005 10:38:21 PM
absolutely nothing.....even when things seem to be going great .. the relationship can still end. I didn't believe it till it happened to me.....
 spring0308
Joined: 11/14/2005
Msg: 20
What is it that makes you feel secure in a relationship?
Posted: 12/24/2005 1:23:51 AM
I echo julietl66. Perfectly stated insofar as I am concerned.
 mogrl
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 21
What is it that makes you feel secure in a relationship?
Posted: 12/24/2005 3:45:17 AM
you sound very insecure .
@ sxxxxysomething
 PamelaRae
Joined: 8/14/2005
Msg: 22
What is it that makes you feel secure in a relationship?
Posted: 12/24/2005 3:49:15 AM
Soft sighs of contentment. Those are good... Giggles, too.
I give up! What??

Oh, and snugglies afterwards. :)
 Tinkle
Joined: 12/14/2005
Msg: 23
What is it that makes you feel secure in a relationship?
Posted: 12/25/2005 3:38:14 AM
i'm always secure in relationships with people I could care less about.
 kermancutie
Joined: 10/9/2005
Msg: 24
What is it that makes you feel secure in a relationship?
Posted: 12/26/2005 10:28:03 AM
when the person cares about my feelings and expresses his love for me even with just the look in his eyes by wanting to spend his free time with me by having regular communication with me just trying to please me and no one else is getting the same from him just me because i will get jealous if there is motive
 loyalgurl1
Joined: 11/27/2005
Msg: 25
What is it that makes you feel secure in a relationship?
Posted: 12/26/2005 10:30:35 AM
I'm the exact same way I go with my gut feeling always it's never failed me it's women intuition.
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