| What is "going slow" in regards to a relationship?
Posted: 12/19/2005 7:05:41 PM | | Does it mean one has the time to spend with the other but they deliberately limit their time together? Does it mean one does not want to cancel/reschedule their other activities to make time to be together? Does it mean there really isn't a "I want you" feeling so one waits to see if the other person "grows" on them? What does "going slow" entail or not entail? | |
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| What is going slow in regards to a relationship?
Posted: 12/19/2005 7:47:07 PM | Ouch!!! My Island, you are bitter...
Going slow is getting to know each other completely before jummping into the sack
Going slow is making sure there is a two-way connection
Goin slow is clarifying chemistry
Going slow is feeling each other out as far as emotional stability
Going slow is defining what each other wants in a relationship
Can I get any more Crayola???
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mako28
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Joined: 11/25/2005
Msg: 6 | |
| What is going slow in regards to a relationship?
Posted: 12/19/2005 8:14:45 PM | Depends on when it is said.
At first; then she just has respect for herslf. = Good.
After a few dates: She isn't really sure about your future together. = so-so, time to work
After 6 months: You've blown it and will become a "friend" = bad | |
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| What is going slow in regards to a relationship?
Posted: 12/19/2005 8:30:46 PM | To Bugsybears and Lilkitten:
Does it mean limiting contact with the person? Does trying to find out their emotional stability, chemistry and what they want from a relationship involve time apart or time together? This is where I get confused.
I tend to go with My Island's response. If I am interested in learning about the things previously listed I need to be spending time with them. If one is interested in finding where I stand on issues doesn't the person need to be spending time with me? Isn't the idea to find out those things as soon as possible? | |
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| What is going slow in regards to a relationship?
Posted: 12/19/2005 8:31:02 PM | lilkitten,
Not true... I'm a happy guy; bitterness gone (years ago). There is truth in my statement, but it has nothing to do with my past experiences or the way I feel about "slow" relationships.
All the other angles seemed to be covered to this point so I posted another possibility... that's all... just keepin' it simple.
Apology via private message would be graciously accepted....
(flirt) | |
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| What is going slow in regards to a relationship?
Posted: 12/19/2005 8:48:27 PM | | It's pretty much a relative term between those two people and how they feel about each other. More than likely one is just a little more into "the relationship" than the other one is, but that doens't mean the other isn't into the idea, some people just take longer to grow. | |
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| What is going slow in regards to a relationship?
Posted: 12/19/2005 8:51:09 PM | | I don't know. I never had a slow relationship. If someone told me that, and I was single. I would think I need to keep looking, because thats what they want to. Thats just the way I think. | |
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| What is going slow in regards to a relationship?
Posted: 12/19/2005 9:00:17 PM | I just started out in a relationship where we both agreed to go slow...
and take "baby steps" so to say.
But when the chemistry is overwhelming WHAM...you cannot get enough of each other...
so slow becomes a moot point.
shlow...smlow.........just follow your heart. | |
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| What is going slow in regards to a relationship?
Posted: 12/19/2005 9:12:36 PM | Interesting thread. I've lived a long time, most of it married, now divorced. In retrospect, I think that the attraction was almost immediate with the three men who have been important in my life. Now, coming out of a thirty year marriage, I'd probably take things a little slower. I suspect that if a relationship becomes physical too soon, you risk it becomming just about sex. BUT, what do I know? I stayed ten years too long in a marriage that became hell.
The only thing I know for sure is that it's truly over when you can rev up a chain saw without thinking about your ex.
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| What is going slow in regards to a relationship?
Posted: 12/19/2005 9:36:13 PM |
Going slow is getting to know each other completely before jummping into the sack
Then you will never jump in the sack , because you can know a person 100 years and never know EVERYTHING about him , But it only takes moments to know if there is an attraction , if there is no attraction then move on and dont break the poor guys heart .
Going slow is making sure there is a two-way connection
Again it does not take long to know if you click .
Goin slow is clarifying chemistry
chemistry can not be clarified it simple is . It is not something to be measured by a ruler or studied in a test tube , it is the feeling in your gut , either it is there or it isnt .
Going slow is feeling each other out as far as emotional stability
You mean like the guy who was married for 15 years had 2.3 kids and at the age of forty deisides he wants a sex change ? Or the guy who quietly goes to work everyday , does his job , puts up with his bosses sh!t for 10 years because the job has good pay and benifits , then one day having had enough shows up to work with a sawed off rifel and shoot his boss and all his coworkers , and then pulls the gun on himself ?
You see there is NEVER enough time to learn someones emotional stability because everyone cracks at different levels of heat .
Going slow is defining what each other wants in a relationship
heres a thought , why not ASK , you'd be suprised what you might hear .
All in all when a woman makes a point of "going slow" she is really saying "your cute and nice but there might be something better so I will string you along" .
Going slow is torture .
Going slow is wishy washy .
Going slow is not trusting your own instincts
Going slow is wasting some poor guy/girls time because of you indicisivness (boy my spelling sux).
Going slow is holding out for something better .
Going slow is a new phrase for that childish game of hard to get .
Life is too short to waste time on someone who is not into me . I know I'm not everyones taste but I do treat women with respect if I am shown respect . | |
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| What is going slow in regards to a relationship?
Posted: 12/19/2005 9:37:14 PM |
Going slow is getting to know each other completely before jummping into the sack
Then you will never jump in the sack , because you can know a person 100 years and never know EVERYTHING about him , But it only takes moments to know if there is an attraction , if there is no attraction then move on and dont break the poor guys heart .
Going slow is making sure there is a two-way connection
Again it does not take long to know if you click .
Goin slow is clarifying chemistry
chemistry can not be clarified it simple is . It is not something to be measured by a ruler or studied in a test tube , it is the feeling in your gut , either it is there or it isnt .
Going slow is feeling each other out as far as emotional stability
You mean like the guy who was married for 15 years had 2.3 kids and at the age of forty deisides he wants a sex change ? Or the guy who quietly goes to work everyday , does his job , puts up with his bosses sh!t for 10 years because the job has good pay and benifits , then one day having had enough shows up to work with a sawed off rifel and shoot his boss and all his coworkers , and then pulls the gun on himself ?
You see there is NEVER enough time to learn someones emotional stability because everyone cracks at different levels of heat .
Going slow is defining what each other wants in a relationship
heres a thought , why not ASK , you'd be suprised what you might hear .
All in all when a woman makes a point of "going slow" she is really saying "your cute and nice but there might be something better so I will string you along" .
Going slow is torture .
Going slow is wishy washy .
Going slow is not trusting your own instincts
Going slow is wasting some poor guy/girls time because of you indicisivness (boy my spelling sux).
Going slow is holding out for something better .
Going slow is a new phrase for that childish game of hard to get .
Life is too short to waste time on someone who is not into me . I know I'm not everyones taste but I do treat women with respect if I am shown respect . | |
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| What is going slow in regards to a relationship?
Posted: 12/19/2005 9:46:10 PM | Mortalez quoted :
chemistry can not be clarified it simple is . It is not something to be measured by a ruler or studied in a test tube , it is the feeling in your gut , either it is there or it isnt .
Well put Mortalez | |
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| What is going slow in regards to a relationship?
Posted: 12/19/2005 9:46:55 PM | To me it means........something different than the person next to me.
You have great questions, but you need to ask the person that made that statement to find out what it means to them, since what it means to everyone/anyone else has no relevance. | |
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| What is going slow in regards to a relationship?
Posted: 12/20/2005 9:14:07 PM | Clarification on Going Slow...since nobody got it
Take time to know each other's expectations and needs of a relationship
Take the time to actually talk to each other before jumping in the sack
Take the time tocommunicate with each other about expectations
Any more clarification needed???
Love you all, but understand before you judge | |
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| What is going slow in regards to a relationship?
Posted: 12/20/2005 9:21:56 PM | Go as slow as YOU CAN.
Don't worry about what everybody here says. Theres so much fear in these forums it's terrible sometimes.
Enjoy the experience for what it's worth.
Your inuition will tell you everything you need to know.
Go with the flow and try not to overthink things. | |
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| What is going slow in regards to a relationship?
Posted: 12/21/2005 10:32:13 AM |
(Msg 23) Take time to know each other's expectations and needs of a relationship
Take the time to actually talk to each other before jumping in the sack
Take the time tocommunicate with each other about expectations.
Any more clarification needed???
Yes. What does taking the time mean in regards to time? Are you talking about seeing the person once a week on a Saturday night or four nights a week and chatting on the phone the other three?
If your employer asks you to take the time to study a file do you read one page on Wednesday and another on the following Monday and continue that way or do you try to get your regular work done as quickly as possible so you can spend an hour each day on the file, at work, then bring the file home and spend a few hours each evening going over it?
Does taking the time mean spreading the time out over weeks/months or making time by rescheduling other activities in order to learn about the person as quickly as possible? Does taking the time mean I want to get to know you over a period of time or does it mean I want to take the time now by seeing you as often as possible? | |
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