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Posted: 12/21/2005 8:03:33 AM | | I've been thinking and realized that, when your in a relationship with someone more people start to notice you and show intrest in you than when you are single. Is it because when in a relationship you are happier?, or is it that people only want someone that is with another? | |
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Posted: 12/21/2005 8:08:13 AM | I have often noticed this myself. Ithink that mostly it is because you are happier, but in some cases it is a power thing...there are those who wish to jeopardize the happiness of others.
I think there are also cases of wanting the unavailable, as a means of evading the risk involved with realistic connections. | |
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Posted: 12/21/2005 1:12:24 PM | I think it's just "Our" dumb luck! | |
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Posted: 12/21/2005 6:46:27 PM | I agree with blue on this one. I have 2 sisters and we often talk about this. I was in a relationship for several years and I got hit on quite a bit. It was very tempting. But, now I am single again, I find that girls pay less attention to us single fella's. Here's what my siblings think:
Girls (not all of them, some of them) like a challenge. They see a guy in a nice relationship and think "He must have something going for him, cos she seems to think so." and that attracts them.
Oh, and I can give you an almost 100% solution to this too. Ah, the benefits of 2 female siblings.... | |
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Posted: 12/21/2005 6:57:00 PM | One thing...I believe it is Confidence people can see that...
Also, and some will laugh at this...but if you do not show some people attention, that draws them to you...strange but true....
Maybe it is the old adage some people want what they can't have... | |
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Posted: 12/21/2005 7:07:53 PM | | from a female perspective...being in a relationship or being optimistic about starting one makes people "light up"...you know, you smile more, you are happier so you tend to look more people in the eye and notice what's going on around you more. You tend to view things from a more optimistic perspective. The flip side is...with that newfound confidence do you suddenly start wondering if maybe you can find something even better so you start noticing these other girls who you hope are noticing you? Either way...anybody who is interested in someone because that person is with another better give their head a shake. Starting a relationship that way is just a recipe for heartache...on both parts. | |
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Posted: 12/21/2005 7:21:29 PM | I think we have all noticed that we get more attention when we are in a relationship...I think in part it is because women see we are taken. They may not see why a woman is with us but since we do have a gf then there must be something about us. so they show interest.
its like if you stand in the street and look up at a tall building and point you will get people that will stand next to you to see what you are looking at...even if nothing is there. I think its the same sort of idea. you have a gf therefore you must be attractive. all i know is when it rains it pours and when its dry its a drought | |
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Posted: 12/21/2005 7:29:59 PM | | Ok, allot of good points. But I have heard many times that if you are in a relationship, others see you as safe. But you might be up for a one night stand, and they won't really have to worry about you falling for them. | |
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mako28
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Joined: 11/25/2005
Msg: 9 | |
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Posted: 12/21/2005 9:48:30 PM | You can believe all the sentimental nonsense you want to about desire, but in the end, much of it has to do with vanity and greed. Few are drawn to the person whom others avoid, people gather around those who have already attracted interest. We want what other people want. You are raising your value by being seen with someone else. Think of the trophy analogy: What makes us desire a trophy is seeing it as something worth having, seeing it while your competitors sees it as well. If you gave everyone a trophy of equal value or stature...the trophy looses its’ value. It represents a win for you and a loss for them.
It's been said; if you want someone, court his or her friend first. These triangles create interest because you appear desired. To be desired is how you create desire. | |
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Posted: 12/21/2005 11:31:55 PM | i think it is a little of both. when you are with someone you put out positive energy and that somehow attracts the opposite sex. and the other reason is that we as a people tend to want things we can't have.
lovely29 | |
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Posted: 12/24/2005 8:12:46 AM | You are so right..... The vibe is there and other people tend to see it and this is what they are missing ( thier glow) nothing wrong with thinking about others things but should keep it to yourself so nobody gets hurt feelings.
Cheers to all
Merry christmas | |
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Posted: 12/24/2005 10:18:58 AM | OP - You have it exactly right with being truly happy seems to attract everyone that maybe wouldn't have noticed you when you were single. Some people are happy at being single, and attract the same amount of people.
I for one, am happier when I get the love and affection I so crave, and I do believe my actions and personality change (positively) to reflect that.
Happiness is VERY attractive, and others reach out to try and grab a piece of it. | |
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Posted: 12/24/2005 10:30:31 AM | Agree.
You are more content, comfortable, secure (don't need to look or play the pick up game), upbeat, you have someone to look forward to every week. You are not looking so others will look at you as 'with in' and 'unavailable' which lends itself to 'attractive'. Feel a purpose with the person you are with. If you are fit, now someone get to appreciate your 'work'.
Just don't cut out your friends because of a date or partner ... they will be there whether you are single or not. | |
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Posted: 12/24/2005 12:32:36 PM | Absolutely! You are proud to be with the significant other and show the world your happiness. People notice your happiness and are drawn to that.  | |
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Posted: 12/24/2005 3:58:36 PM | Hi. Yes, I've noticed that with me and my best friend, too. When we are seeing someone, we notice with each other that men seem more interested in us. We came to the conclusion that we seem to take more time to look our best, we have a glow about us, are outwardly very happy, more cofident, etc...and many of the men who showed an interest in us did not even know that we were *taken*
SerenityStar | |
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Posted: 12/24/2005 5:38:04 PM | | I don't think that this is a true statement. I have heard this suggested before, but haven't seen any evidence to back the assertion. If you could somehow show some statistics on this supposed phenomenon, I would be more than willing to discuss theories about its cause. However, to speculate on this matter would be taking the truth in the statement for grant it. Something that I am not willing to do without more sufficient data. | |
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Posted: 12/24/2005 6:10:03 PM | | Quick question? Why does all of my writing seem to disappear in a puff of mysterious smoke? I don't see you erasing anyone else's work. My posts take a bit of thought and energy and I find this to be extremely troublesome. Shouldn't the point of discussion forums be to discuss things without resorting to disappearing people you disagree with? | |
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Posted: 12/24/2005 6:13:07 PM | | You noticed that too?!?^^^^ I was just in the middle of a reply to your new thread when it disappeared like a drunken Ninja falling off a bridge. | |
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Posted: 12/24/2005 6:31:25 PM | | Most of us want what we cannot have. It is more challenging that way. | |
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Posted: 12/24/2005 6:36:49 PM | drunken Ninja falling off a bridge
That's good! I like that one.
Erasing people's posts is weak. To me, that's almost as bad as a person writing a virus that cripples all the hard work people have put into developing this website. | |
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Posted: 12/25/2005 2:51:49 PM | | That doesnt really happen to me. | |
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Posted: 12/25/2005 3:02:34 PM | | I believe it is for the fact that other women notice you because of the girlfriend. The old syndrome of the grass is greener over there. They can honestly admit that you are a decent guy because someone else has already stated that. The girl you are with at the time. | |
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Posted: 12/25/2005 3:14:38 PM | Don't Know, But sure seems to be true in my experience too,
Thanks, Tony D. | |
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Posted: 12/25/2005 3:16:22 PM | This is very true. During my previous relationship, all the girlfriends of my ex- were all over me. If it were not for my integrity and loyality, I could have slept with them all. I have been single for over a year now and no woman wants to know me, despite my big income, a dream career and killer looks.
I believe the reason why women are attracted to attached men is due to the fact that biology has not blessed women with confidence to choose a guy and the fact that most women have experienced one or two bad relationships only dents their confidence further in opting for single men. But they are attracted to attached men because it is an indication that he must be a good man. I do not understand women nor do I blame men who believe that women are only good for one thing! | |
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Posted: 12/25/2005 3:26:00 PM | | Yeah man, Its true it is easier to acquire a gf when you are with one already... Why ??? I got fackin idea... | |
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