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| | SO why are you still single after 30?Page 1 of 75 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41) | guys keep asking me why i'm still single. is it wrong to have led an interesting, independent lifestyle through your 30's? maybe i have had my share of fun, hard times, and other things to focus on other than marriage. i'll be 35 next month, and i never felt that something was "wrong" with me 'cause i was still a bachlorette...until everyone started asking this question!
am i the only one who hears this kind of thing? | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 12/21/2005 8:41:42 PM | Yes, women ask me the same question, and in a way it can be a tad annoying. Yet, when I ask them if they would like to go out sometime. Their answer is no. and then they wonder why I am single. | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 12/21/2005 8:50:59 PM | | I regularly get asked this question (except from family who I think feel bad everytime they ask if there is anyone special in my life and the answer is no, so they just stop asking). It is almost disheartening when people can't understand why you can be attractive, successful, independant, and a good person overall and not be taken. It is like putting salt on the wound. I end up feeling like I am failing because everyone can see in me what I offer, except for the person I am offering it to apparently. It is hard to explain why we end up alone for long periods of time, or if not alone at least not on the marriage bandwagon. Looking back on my history, relationships, and experiences, I think I am confident in saying I am single by choice for one reason: I have not found my penguin. I have not found that one soul who will journey with me totally and completely for the rest of my life. The one who will long for me alone, and I for them. I may be 32, but I would rather be alone for 5 more years than with the wrong person for 50. Why rush forever. | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 12/21/2005 8:52:03 PM | There is no problem answering that. Its because at this age i'm looking for something permanent, i know exactly what i'm looking for, i don't want to screw up my marriage or my family, so thats why i'm being carefull.
Good wives are hard to find. If i just wanted to fool around, and "have fun" sure, i wouldn't be here answering this question. But i would eventually. Many times.
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 12/21/2005 9:14:18 PM | my answer to this question has two reasons why i am still single.
#1.i want to make sure i find the right woman for me. my best friend and soulmate.i don't want to go through the pain and sadness of a bad marriage or relatinship.i do not want to put the love and effort into the wrong person for me.i want to get it right the first time if i can.
#2.i think i was still sewing my oats and partying and having fun.i started working full tme at 14 while going to school full time.i had no extra time for fun until i was 24 or 25.now i am 34 and want to find my lifelong love.until i do i still date and go out with women i know are not my soulmate and i wn't be with long term.thats because i am stll searching for the women i will spend the rest of my life with. | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 12/21/2005 9:22:43 PM | | uhhh... because I can be???? I enjoy being single... I enjoy dating.. I enjoy someone special at times but also "choose" to be single. | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 12/21/2005 11:07:06 PM | | It's because I am ugly, socially retarded and have poor personal hygene. I also prefer the company of sheep. | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 12/22/2005 12:05:11 AM | | nycshakti- first let me start by saying WOW you don't look anywhere near the age posted on your profile. Next I think being single or being with someone is more a relitive thing. Now days you have husband+wife +there bf+his gf=60% divorce rate in America. I find this quite disturbing so I find staying "relitivly single works. Now this is done by date and see where it goes no comitment no sex just date. Now you may ask "no sex" yes because I have found in women as well as men once the "sex issue" is out if the way than one party or both seem to lose interest. So my point is stay single and go out have fun call them friends or never call them again. OK this is more humorous than reality but i think it makes sense to some point. | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 12/22/2005 12:37:57 AM | | Seems like it's easier saying you are divorced. No one ever asks so why are you divorced? It's just accepted as something that didn't work out and that's the end of it. I've been single from divorce for 8 years and it's not a bad way to be actually. I have gotten the occasional why have you not remarried and I just tell them they are crazy to think that I would be remarried just yet. I would just say, well I look around at all the miserable divorcing people in the world and wonder why I would want that in my life so I think I will save marriage for when it really makes sense and so far it hasn't. I certainly don't think anything is wrong with you. You have made the choices that were right for you and that is a wise thing to do. | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 12/22/2005 4:11:06 AM | The real question to ask yourself is what am I going to do when they stop asking me this question. Also, What have I become that people do not even care that I am still single. lol
As long as they ask there are still people interested. When they stop, you will know that you are a pathetic loser that is more trouble than they want to deal with. I personally am single, in my opinion only, because I don't want the women that want me. I want the women that I am not even nice enough to attract and if I am they are too young. I go after women ...if I go after women, it is the ones I subconsciously or even consciously think are the best of the best and will probably ignore me so that I will remain safe from harm. I also pick them way out of my social stature and etiquette knowledge base. With that all said, I also am shy, insecure about my ability to relate to someone for more than a few years before my boredom and or theirs will send each of us running for sanctuary in some remote part of the world never to trust, love and be friends with again. lol But seriously folks, we are all the same but all different. Have the same wants but differents habits, manners and abilities to tolerate or respond to the same situation the same as our choice of partners thus causing and endless amount of conflict too overwhelming to endure. lol What the hell. WHO knows? Maybe it is because I am insane but that would be a catch 22.lol---Robert    | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 12/22/2005 6:02:15 AM | For me it is the need to have the "package". I've had the bits and pieces, all reaffirming the fact that I do need it "all".I know in my heart I just can't settle. I've been pretty much single for the last 6 years. I have also only fallen for 1 in that time. Unfortunately is ended up being 1 sided. But again, that left me with that hunger for it all.
The journey continues | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 12/22/2005 11:35:26 AM | I get the "why are you still single" question quite often too. I just smile and reply with a "because I haven't met the one to make me consider NOT being single" ! | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 12/22/2005 11:56:29 AM | After searching my own soul for a few years, i discovered that i get caught up in immidiate gratification. I haven't taken the time it takes to get to know anyone well enough to develop any type of personal relationship with them. I tend to draw my own conclusions as to who they are and run with it. I've been single this long by choice. the choice that i don't want another messed up relationship knowing that what i have to offer someone takes some serious time to discover. So why be in any kind of hurry?? | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 12/22/2005 12:11:10 PM | A few reasons. Mainly, I haven't found anyone yet who makes me want to give my heart away. Actually I have, a few times, but after having it shoved back into my mouth by people who didn't feel the same kinda soured me on the experience. The taste of one's own heart isn't all that sweet.
Also, I find a lot of women to be completely unapproachable. I don't like just walking up to some girl in a bar and making small talk in hopes that she doesn't have some thick-necked jock boyfriend who's just looking for an excuse to burn off some 'roid rage. Besides rejection is embarassing, especially when women seem to travel in packs these days when they're out and about. Take a chance, roll the dice and make an approach, get rejected, and when her friends show up the rest of the night they're all pointing and laughing at the pathetic loser who deigned to come forward. Not saying every girl does this, but in my personal experience this seems to be the norm.
And finally, I can't escape the feeling that I'm not supposed to be where I'm at right now. Like I should be moving on somewhere and if I went for someone here where I live I'd be miserable the rest of my life wondering how I messed up, and why I didn't go where I wanted to, like I'd missed something important.
Just my $0.02 | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 12/22/2005 12:31:31 PM | My main problem is my job, not to many women out there want to date a truck drive that would be gone alot... I can't blame them... but i do have a jump seat.... lol
Tim | |
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Badfun
| | Joined: 8/22/2005
Msg: 19 | |
| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 12/22/2005 12:46:14 PM | | Nyc, you're not the only one getting asked. My answer to that question makes up a big part of my profile. | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 12/22/2005 12:46:25 PM | I get that same question on a regular basis. The simple answer for me is that I have not found the right person to spend the rest of my life with. I feel that if I find Mr. Right than I would hope that our relationship would grow and evolve into a marriage. Heck, if I marry a guy I have to like him if I plan on spending the rest of my life with him! Marriage to me is forever; not the easiness of divorce when something goes wrong. I refuse to settle for just anyone!  | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 12/22/2005 1:46:57 PM | I always enjoy letting my lip start to quiver, and then saying, "Because my wife died. Thank you so much for asking."
(In reality, I'm just divorced.)
But then again, I'm evil. | |
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WWolf
| | Joined: 9/6/2005
Msg: 22 | |
| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 12/22/2005 1:51:45 PM | WoW !!! I'm single by choice... I am learning its better than compromising my sanity for somone who cannot comprehend and appreciate a load of things I know so intimately that I sometimes take them for granted....
Also, None so far I find inticing enough to really want (intellectually and socially). My standards are a bit high but I think It's also a bit of my location.... Way too many sharks with youth, cash, great looks. (so much for humorous,charming and not so bad looking.....).
Also many women around here seem to like being treated much more poorly than I have learned to treat them...:  | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 12/22/2005 2:01:13 PM | One of my best friends is in her mid-30's and has been single all her life. She gets this question all the time, along with the "well-intentioned" happily-marrieds at work trying to fix her up with their husband's cousin's best friend's brother.
Ever since I've been separated from my husband (which hasn't been long), when we're out and about and she gets that question, I chime in and say "because she doesn't want to end up like me!!).
I'm kidding, on the one hand. But on the other hand there's some truth to it. There's something to be said for waiting until an age where you've done most of your growing up and figuring out who you are before finding "the one." My husband and I were "the one" for each other at 20, but we sure weren't at 35. | |
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| so, why are you still single?
Posted: 12/22/2005 11:22:32 PM | When someone asks me a question like that, I generally go for the thing that'll make them feel dumb as hell AND embarassed for asking.
"Well, I am not really sure... to be honest, but I imagine that the scorching case of herpes does not help matters any."
Most of the people who are asking this ever-so-slightly put down-ish question are either totally clueless or trying to make you feel like crap.
I treat most stupid questions similarly. When I was engaged to my now-ex-fiance.. people would CONSTANTLY ask us when we were going to start makin with the babies. Neither of us wanted kids. Once, it occurred to him to stare, wide-eyed at the poser of said question and holler, "Oh my god! I think I forgot to let my kid out of the shackles before I came over here! Thanks for the reminder! Gotta go!" | |
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