| Funny Stories About Dating...
Posted: 6/26/2004 5:26:01 AM | simple topic.
tell some of your funniest stories about you and dating.
not your friends, or something you saw on tv, just you.
as for me, I got a few so I'll start.
This Topic was inspired by the other topic here "disabled people deserve love too" in which I commend the guy for being honest, and wish him luck as well.
but it reminded me of a girl I once dated.
my story would not have been appropriate for his topic so here goes.
4-5 years ago I met this really cute cool girl in washington.
she lives about 2 hours away from seattle where I was living at the time...
and I barely see her again, but we email each other every few weeks.
eventually we deciede to give a shot at dating, dispite the distance, and I say she can come to seattle and stay at my place for the weekend, cause she wanted to sometime.
well, I hadn't seen her for like 6 months or so.
and she drive up...
I am on my balcony, 4 stories above the parking lot, and see her truck.
she is skin and bones...
lost like 40 pounds since I last saw her.
it was just shocking really...
I wanted to act like I wasn't home or something cause it was just too weird.
so she comes up and I let her in, friendly hug and I am trying to start some small talk, and thinking of "what now"
anyways, we sat down for a half hour and start talking, and damn if that little "spark" wasn't there still and although she was alittle odd on appearance from when I last saw her, I got comfortable talking to her.
thats all it really takes for me to like someone, is to be able to talk to them.
so we are talking and telling stories about life and the last few months or so...
we get hungry and decieded to go out to dinner for some chinese food.
we get some food, and I bought alot of it too for her and I...
and damn it, she was trying like hell to avoid eating.
so we end up in a park, and she's telling me "I already ate"
when about 20 minutes ago in my apartment, she was saying she was hungry from the long drive...
(it also would have helped if she told me she didn't want to eat, BEFORE I bought the food)
anyways, the weekend was weird.
nothing really happend.
she stayed up with me talking all night a few night.
we slept on the floor in sleeping bags talking.
no kissing.
every now and then she would hug me.
she cooked alot for me, but never really her.
monday came, and she left.
the whole thing was something of a disaster.
that I kept hoping would get alittle better and it did.
kinda.
I wasn't attracted to her anymore physically, and I am sorry to say, but that was the honest truth. to me "too skinny" is just alittle strange.
but she was still a great girl.
so I agreed to go to her place 2 hours away in 2 weeks for 4 days.
2 weeks later, and I arrive.
she lives in a very cool little place, she has great style and decorations, and the place just smelled like she cooked a damn good meal just an hour before.
the day was nice, we talk alot again.
walk around...
go home later.
then she tells gets a phone call and shes mad.
I ask whats wrong, she says don't worry about it.
so she asked what I wanted for dinner, I said I have no idea.
look around her kitchen, and saw almost no food.
alittle bit of granola cerial, some brown rice, and a few other bare minimum foods.
but nothing that could really make a filling meal.
so I said, lets go to the store.
we do, and there, we see this truck go by, and she got really quiet.
don't know why yet...
anyways, we get home, I start to make dinner.
she pans and pots are all over the place and she takes over the dinner.
I sat at the table and talked to her the whole time, sensing she was alittle shy about something. I choose to avoid it, and just peel some potatos.
well that night, we were up all night again, talking, sleeping on a floor in sleeping bags and in the darkness she leaned over to kiss me.
that was kinda nice really.
nothing happens.
we go to bed.
not a bad day, all in all.
the next morning I wake up, and it's barely 8 am, and she's up and cooking.
smelled great, and I ask to take a shower.
after the shower she says she wants to talk to me.
so she sits down and tells me this long story how she just broke up with this guy after 2 years. I was alittle shocked cause I met her like 6-7 months before this.
she says she was mad after some phone call last night. cause he called and said if she didn't come to get her stuff, he was gonna throw it all out when he gets back from work tommorow.
so she decieded she wants to go get a "few" boxs of her stuff, that morning while he is at work all day.
being the nice guy, or just a guy in a small town with nothing to do and no where to go...
I offer to help her get her stuff, she kinda was happy and said yes.
we get there...
and a few boxs turn out to be 50.
multiple trips later of her truck filled, it's nearly 5pm and she's expecting her ex home any second, so I am like "great, this dudes gonna come here and see me, in his house and get all pissed about it, and make a scene"
but we make it out of there in time.
everything appears ok.
so I avoid the Ex-bullet in the knick of time.
the rest of that day was ok, we went to see a play about dracula, and for being a small town theater, the play was actually really well done, so I thought it was a nice night out with her.
the next day was alittle plain, we went to a beach and hiked around all day, and talked.
but thats where it began...
she begins telling me things aren't "right", and hinting that her health is fragile.
no big deal, I kinda figured somethings not right anyways with the weight thing.
anyways, she tells me her stomach is shot cause she has a blood disease that does all this crazy damage to her body over time.
sympathetic I just listen.
then she tells me about fatigue, and how she gets tired from almost nothing.
ok....
then she tells me this LOOOOOOOONG list of food she can't eat (which explain the chinese food)
then she begins telling me about like 10 other things that are either seriously screwed up with her, or will be in the next few years.
kidney failures and comas and seizures and all this other stuff to expect.
by this point I was bug eyed...
like damn, how many things could go wrong in one person??
anyways, I took it all in, the shock of it all didn't really hit me till I got home a few days later.
being the stand up guy I try to be, I said "we'll deal with things as they come".
and we talked alittle on the phone now and then.
she came over every few days.
then it got creepy.
she started saying crazy stuff like "you don't love me", and she was getting super clingy, and I am just like "damn, we met each other like 10 days ago, what do you expect"
then she started calling at like 4 am, to see if other girls would pick up.
it didn't help at all that my roomate was by best friend sara...
then I had to hear all this crazy jealousy stuff.
I mean just off the wall, made up paranoia stuff.
in a last ditch effort to let her get relaxed, I said come over, stay the weekend.
we'll talk.
in that time, she told me like 10 more things that were permanantly screwed up with her insides, including one that just blew me away.
her "bits and pieces" were shot to hell and removed and she was never gonna have sex again in her life, cause she didn't have the desire and such...
by that time, I was just like "wow... what have I gotten myself into"
I wasn't into her since she drove up to my place from the first moment.
but I tried to give it all a shot.
it kinda worked.
enough for us to spend 3 weekends together.
but then she started going psycho, and saying crazy stuff, and saying she loved me and being jealous of things that "might happen", and every other day telling me some other thing was either gonna fall off, get removed, turn cancerous, or just get infected. while she may end up blind, deaf, retarded or in a coma anytime in the next 10 years of her life.
you ever see that movie with marlon wayons, where he's making out with this girl, and she's like "I got something to tell you" and he's all horny and stuff...
then she pulls off her weave??
he was like "I don't mind, I like me a freak"
then she's hold on, theres more.
then she pulls off her eyebrows, push up bra, make up, padded butt shape thing, then she pulls off her leg too...
thats kinda what I felt like.
I dont know if I really would have cared about her being sick and such.
I thought about that sometimes after, if I would have just stayed with her.
if she didn't start getting jealous and turning psycho on me.
anyways, by the time she left that weekend, it was pretty cold between us.
it was mainly me, cause she tried to hug me on the way out, and I acted like "do I have to"
she kinda saw that her acting psycho didn't really win over any extra time for her, and that I was pretty much giving up on her.
a few phone calls later started to confirm she was just alittle mental.
she was calling telling me about some dude she met.
when I would just go "uh huh" and let the topic die, the phone calls just kinda ended.
that was the last I ever saw of her.
to bad really, she was a great cook, great sense of style and such.
nice girl really.
just picked the wrong dude to get crazy over.
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Zee
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Joined: 4/11/2004
Msg: 2 | |
| Re: Funny Stories About Dating...
Posted: 6/26/2004 12:31:03 PM | omg - I didnt know that was taht long until I just looked it over by scroll.
great story though lol - you should be a story teller you have great rythmn
I cant think of any funny stories right now - but will post later | |
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| Re: Funny Stories About Dating...
Posted: 6/26/2004 11:59:03 PM | heres on of the earlier ones.
8th grade.
I was dating this girl, when I met her, I thought she was the coolest thing ever, and I was too damn shy to talk to her. that even back then was unusual for me to get shy to talk to any particular girl.
but she did that to me, butterflies and such.
I liked her cause she was smart, very smart, and I liked how she stood out at school.
she was different then everyone else.
she was a "good girl"
so I thought, by the time we broke up a year later, she was a step away from porn and I was kinda scared I was the one that did that to her, changed her and such.
not that I tried to, but I think she tried to be what ever she thought I wanted.
cause everything about her change was drastic...
till she was the 100% bad girl.
I had no interest in her after she started to change, cause who I liked originally was gone.
that sucked, cause she was a really great girl...
anyways, one day, we are having a "school sleep over".
it was a thing that our school puts on for the 8th graders in the last month of school.
you and all your classmates sleepover at the school, anywhere you want, for 2 days.
with a handful of teachers to watch over it all.
there was a dance that night...
or you had the option of going swimming.
being the little dude I was, the idea of getting my girl in a swimming suit and all wet was 100 times more appealing then dancing... so thats where I went.
and she followed.
we were swimming around, and so was about a dozen other kids.
we were the only couple and you could tell.
I remember getting out of the pool, and getting ready to go dive in, when she got out too, and was flirting with me, and giving me this look.
well I stopped by the edge of the pool and she came close to me.
she had this way she always kissed me.
she puts her hands on my waist and leans upward to kiss me, cause she was shorter then I am. that was her thing...
well prior to that night this, hands on the waist leaning in for the kiss, was always done on dry ground.
guess what happens when you lean on someones waist and put your weight on them and try to kiss them, on a wet floor...
well, she leaned in, and the floor slipped under my feet, and with her head a inch from my lips, I headbutted her cause of the slippery floor and losing my balance, and I fell into the pool.
when I got out, she was on the deck crying, and bleeding from her eyebrow.
strangely that didn't seem to ruin the night for too long, cause we kept swimming and ended up in our sauna later on, and that was about it.
nice night it was really, but a very strange one, when you live the rest of your life with the idea that you...
headbutted a girl that tried to kiss you. | |
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| Re: Funny Stories About Dating...
Posted: 7/1/2004 5:21:15 PM | News Years eve at the strike of midnight....being shy I went to the bar to be drinks for my friends rather than partake in the mandatory kisses hugs and handshakes. I was somewhat sad, elated and confused about all that had happened in my marriage.
At the end of the bar is a woman who is gorgeous, she is crying.
I show compassion, approach her and ask if i can help to raise her spirits.
She looks at me and I instantly know that this woman has love in her eyes. she looked drunk but in fact she wasn't she has M.S. She was a dental assistant who was 27 years old when she was diagnosed.
So I couldn't leave her alone and she was so alone. I wasn't in a position to get involved in a relationship with anyone.
I was in a position to make her remaining days a lot of fun. I did and that woman showed me more in 8 months than any other woman ever could.
We would walk to the store or through the park and everyone would stare at her thinking she was drunk.
I guess this is more related to the story of Griffin and it's not funny but Ohhhh how we would laugh.
One particular time this girl Julie had wanted no demanded that we play strip poker.
I didn't have regular playing cards just some of my sons hockey cards.
She thought that was good enough.
I made the rules.
if the player was white, she must remove an article of clothing.
If he was black, I must remove an article of clothing.
I won ! I think that was the way she wanted it. | |
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| Re: Funny Stories About Dating...
Posted: 9/10/2004 1:36:29 PM | Hey Griffin and Witnerstorm (I love storms by the way ;) ... I liked the stories. Keep them coming, maybe I will share one when I have time too. :)
silken | |
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| Funny Stories About Dating...
Posted: 9/7/2009 9:10:59 PM | That was a loooong but interesting story!
One of the first times I ever met anyone online, I had been talking to this guy online for a while, we ended up figuring out that in-spite of the fact that we live in a large metropolitan city, we were back yard neighbors, meaning we shared a back yard fence. We lived on different streets, but his back yard and mine were connected!!! Jeez, what's the chance of that? I went on the date praying he was as great a guy as I was expecting.
Well...he was nice enough. He had just failed to mention that his pics were at least 10 years old and that he had gained at least 100 pounds (I swear I'm being nice) since then. We walked to the table, he struggled to catch his breath and couldn't fit into the booth, we had to wait while they prepared a table for us that could hold him. I made small talk with him for the meal. When it was over I tried to politely say goodbye. He insisted that he should walk me to my car! I finally agreed. He followed me to my vehicle and when I got inside motioned for me to roll down the window. I did, and he stuck his head inside and started to kiss me! I couldn't go anywhere, he had me pinned to the headrest! That's when he started to pass gas! (It was really special!)
Needless to say, I finally got out of there and that was the last time I ever went skinny dipping in my pool in my backyard again!!! LOL! I sold the house not long after that, haha!
That was awful! | |
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| Funny Stories About Dating...
Posted: 9/7/2009 9:49:35 PM | | Oh man! Ain't it a bummer when you're just a nice decent person who is fair and compassionate and you run into the true test of a straw that broke dat camel's back? You sound like a lovely guy. I hope your next meet is a much much better one, you deserve it! | |
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