| I need help PLEASE
Posted: 12/30/2005 9:32:20 AM | Someone has to have advice on what to do.
I have been datin this man for about a year.... We have never had any big problems until recently... and they are just gettin bigger and bigger... he is really scarin me now. We got into a fight the other nite and he went into the closet and took his gun out and loaded it. He never has bullets in his gun... then he stood there for a few minutes holdin his gun then he put it in the closet (still loaded) I went to the law to try and get him out and they said there is nothing they can do I have to give him 30 days to get out. But I am scared to wait that long... Does anyone have any ideas on how to get him out???? | |
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| I need help PLEASE
Posted: 12/30/2005 9:36:07 AM | Don't take legal advice from cops.
Get an attorney if need be, and get a protective restraining order.
Your life isn't anything to take chances with. | |
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| I need help PLEASE
Posted: 12/30/2005 9:37:02 AM | Wow ....this way to serious a thread for me to post in ..... that aint good girl ......maybe bring a family member in to stay for awhile if its your place and all , in case he gets out of control ....
edit : yea what pandy say's is a good idea too .... | |
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| I need help PLEASE
Posted: 12/30/2005 9:37:55 AM | | So this is your place that you own? If not, get your stuff, and go to a womens shelter. If it is your place, leave your stuff and go to a womens shelter. Why do you even need to ask, if your safety is in danger...GET OUT NOW!!! | |
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| I need help PLEASE
Posted: 12/30/2005 9:38:05 AM | If he has a gun, you need a grenade.
Seriously though, talk to a lawyer, not the cops. | |
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| I need help PLEASE
Posted: 12/30/2005 9:38:55 AM | sorry for being flippant....I couldn't follow the post.
Seems crazy that the cops didn't listen if he has a loaded gun. Pandy gave you good advice. Other than that.....I would leave if I felt threatened. | |
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| I need help PLEASE
Posted: 12/30/2005 9:40:36 AM | When he's not home, I would call the police and have them remove the gun and will know how to handle the loaded gun properly.
Go find a womens shelter or a good friend and stay with them.
As pandy suggested, Seek Legal advice and depending on your State and Residential or property laws, follow the advice
last: Seek councilling if you've been in abusive relationship (mentally, physically, emotionally) incase you need to talk to someone about the stress.
Good luck | |
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| I need help PLEASE
Posted: 12/30/2005 9:40:52 AM | I cant just leave... its my house and I have no where to go.
I have a call into the womens shelter out here but they have not returned my call. Im just not sure what I am supposed to do next... I cant stay with friends or family cause he knows where they all live. | |
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Ainsel
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Joined: 2/20/2005
Msg: 11 | |
| I need help PLEASE
Posted: 12/30/2005 9:42:50 AM | Is this man living with you, you said dating but then allude to not being able to get him out, so I think we're not quite clear on the whole situation. (Nice try squirrly, I don't think she meant the closet hun )
If you feel you are in danger from this man (and it sounds like you think you are) PLEASE contact the local women's abuse hotline. They will be able to help you with respect to your local laws. I know you may think you have not been abused yes, but it sounds like you could be headed in that direction.
Please trust your instincts and get the help and information NOW. | |
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| I need help PLEASE
Posted: 12/30/2005 9:44:46 AM | get the restraining order...
that means he has to leave...
you're in the US and have all kinds of options girl now go down to the courthouse and file the order
if you have any marks (bruises etc) they HAVE to remove him
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| I need help PLEASE
Posted: 12/30/2005 9:48:22 AM | | Call the shelter again....GET OUT....don't let him know where you are, and involve the LAW however you can. Tell the people at the shelter everthing about what has been happening, and do what they and the law advises. Pulling out a gun and loading it is a THREAT....HELLO!!!!! | |
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| I need help PLEASE
Posted: 12/30/2005 9:49:23 AM | Even if he never pointed the gun at you, or made a verbal threat, just loading the gun in that situation is clear intimidation. You SHOULD be scared, sweetheart. You say you can't just get out because it's your house, but hon - which is more valuable to you - your house or your life? Because if he's loading guns, no matter how he tries to play it off later - your life is what you're taking chances with.
I'd take Pandy's advice and call a lawyer - AFTER I got the the woman's shelter. Seriously. Get out while he's not home, and don't go back till he's gone. | |
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| I need help PLEASE
Posted: 12/30/2005 9:50:55 AM | I'm with T...get the restraining order...they will ask you if you feel threatened..you tell thim what he did...then you remove all of the freaking guns from the house while he's at work. Get rid of them...somewhere he will NEVER think to look...and just serve him with the papers at work. The police will escort him to the house to pick up his belongings. But just so you know...he's always gonna know where you live...and just because you kick him out...it doesn't mean he's not gonna keep coming back.
Good luck  | |
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| I need help PLEASE
Posted: 12/30/2005 9:56:13 AM | Restraining orders don't mean diddly. But Chameleonsdream, and the others, are right on target. LEAVE, NOW! Rent a dump somewhere if you have to. Go to the Salvation Army if you can't get in touch with a Womens' Shelter or a church. GO SOMEWHERE!
Then document any and everything he has done weird, off the wall, strange - dates, every little detail and go see a lawyer.
No one who is on the receiving end of a murder/suicide ever wakes up one morning and says, "Gee, I'll bet my Honey is going to kill me and then turn the gun on themself today."
GET OUT NOW! HE IS DANGEROUS! | |
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| I need help PLEASE
Posted: 12/30/2005 9:56:32 AM |
I can't believe the levity that is being posted on this thread...is your society THAT desensitised to violence?
Well obviously yes....I mean someone worried about their life came to a dating site for advice on it. Thats the first indicator.
People are flipant because wild tales get told on forums every day. This is not the place to come for advice on a life threatening situation. This is barely the place to come for relationship advice. If terrorits take over my office building I'm not going to post and ask you all how I should handle them. Obviously i'm just going to kick all their asses and get a medal from the president.
OP, if the situation is as you described it you have more important things to do than read our replies. Call friends, family, police, a lawyer, every avenue available. You do NOT go home tonight to that situation. (assuming you're at work now or something) If you're at home now you leave and go somewhere, anywhere. In the coming days you deal with a restraining order, etc. But your first priority at this point in time would be the immediate safety of you and your body. | |
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| I need help PLEASE
Posted: 12/30/2005 10:38:52 AM |
Don't take legal advice from cops.
Get an attorney if need be, and get a protective restraining order.
Your life isn't anything to take chances with.
Ditto!
But also get the hell out of your house TODAY until the 30 days are up. He make take some of your possesions but they are not worth your life. | |
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| I need help PLEASE
Posted: 12/30/2005 10:38:53 AM |
People are flipant because wild tales get told on forums every day. This is not the place to come for advice on a life threatening situation. This is barely the place to come for relationship advice. If terrorits take over my office building I'm not going to post and ask you all how I should handle them. Obviously i'm just going to kick all their asses and get a medal from the president.
Your a classic!
Hahaha, so true... | |
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| I need help PLEASE
Posted: 12/30/2005 10:43:32 AM | It builds a paper trail for use in the future
no cops don't like to get involved in domestic matters because it's very dangerous for them and the women usually end up defending the abuser and often attack the cops...
but you make them do their duty... | |
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| I need help PLEASE
Posted: 12/30/2005 10:46:20 AM | | First hide the gun,throw out all his clothes,every iota he ever had,change your locks,get security and a restraining order and a pit bull. If none of the above works play "Goodbye Earl" and keep servin him blackeyed peas. | |
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stats
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Joined: 11/3/2005
Msg: 23 | |
| I need help PLEASE
Posted: 12/30/2005 11:03:43 AM | Missie,listen your life is worth more and all the material things dont matter.please just pack your bag and leave before he gets home.There are womens shelters to help you as well as victims services under the police, so call and ask for the support.dont tell him where you are going.if need me go to another city and dont look back.life is to short and you want to live right? sometimes you dont know what or where things go and you end up like this,but once you get through it you will know ,what is the type of guy you want and the most inportant thing is to be happy yourself first,if you meet someone great but do not settle as to not be alone''.otherwise you will make a mistake honey.you want to have a normal relationship,not fearing for your life.take care.you can do it. | |
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| I need help PLEASE
Posted: 12/30/2005 11:12:40 AM | | You might be forced to inflict an injury to yourself during a quarrel (a smack to the region above your eyebrow accompanied with a hairline cut along same eyebrow with razor will do nicely - go into the bathroom to do this and make sure u have cell phone to call cops from behind locked doors) with physical evidence of abuse he is gone and a resraining order will be issued. I suggest you only use this if you fear you are in imminent danger as you don't know how he will react. Though if he comes near you - call cops you will have a resaining order. However that restraing order does jack shit if your sleeping and he sneeks into your house and shoots you in the head. Alot to think about. If moving is an option - I don't know your financial situation, but you can pack up your stuff while he is at work and move out leaving no trace. I wish you the best of luck. Whatever you do just think it through - quickly and get away from him one way or the other. | |
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| I need help PLEASE
Posted: 12/30/2005 11:25:23 AM | They make locks for guns, try putting one on it, are just packing his stuff up and move to a storage shed why he is at work. Leave no trace of him there. Rent a room and when he comes home and the doors are locked, leave a note saying you loaded your guns to hurt me, and keep me skard, now its over. Here is a key for the night at a motel, and here is a key for the storge shed its rented for a month. Have a good life. I want no more contact from you ever. Sorry but if I did you that way you would understand how I felt.
The end, and good bye.
were better off with out eachother. | |
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