| married and flirting
Posted: 1/6/2005 4:26:44 AM | Can someone tell me...or more to the point..reassure me that its ok to be married AND still flirt with members of the opposite sex..or am i just 2 naive.
I mean...just cos i'm 41,doesn't ean i'm dead from the neckup.
LOL
Steve
xx
 | |
|
| married and flirting
Posted: 1/6/2005 4:48:49 AM | Flirting is one thing bro. Talking to a woman, just being funny or witty... is pretty much okay, and within your rights as a married human being. But that fine line, when crossed, is another story all together. If your "hunting" and that is your motivational factor behind your flirting, then your not being honest with yourself, the women your flirting with, or your partner, and that isnt all that cool. Know what I mean?
But simple flirting just to pass the time or to just talk to people from other walks of life, nah, I dont see anything wrong with that. Its human nature.... but to an extent.
JMHO.
~Cross | |
|
| |
| married and flirting
Posted: 1/6/2005 10:07:28 AM | i have often been told that i am flirtatious when i merely thought i was being friendly and natural...not coming on the people at all but being courteous (ie. replying cordially when spoken to, smiling in return...etc.)
if you mean simply being friendly, then i can't see the harm. however, if there are specific things you do that could be construed as crossing the line or more importantly, making your wife uncomfortable, you should consider talking with her about why it makes her uncomfortable. if you can't justify it to her, then stop doing it. it's more important to be faithful and respectful of your partner in life... | |
|
Quack
|
Joined: 12/17/2004
Msg: 5 | |
| married and flirting
Posted: 1/6/2005 11:58:15 AM | | Kinda reminds me of a friend of mine. He was married, and was at another womans house with another person I know. The girl was talking to my friend, and they ended up going in to the bathroom and ended up in the shower together. He tells me it weasnt sex so he wasnt cheating.. what do you think, heck it was just a little shower... | |
|
| married and flirting
Posted: 1/6/2005 12:10:20 PM | When a married man flirts with me, I always wonder if he flirts with his wife yet...when I ask, they always say NO WAY in a shocked manner, so then I know what kind of guy he really is and I tell him to get lost.It's kinda like in Chocolat...where the guy eats the beans and sees his wife in a whole new light...as she is scrubbing the bathtub.....and goes back for more beans... | |
|
| married and flirting
Posted: 1/6/2005 12:38:25 PM | Sorry but in my experience Flirting leads on to more... and if your married "more" should never be an option.
Maybe that'll seem a little extreme to some people but when you've watched your other half flirt and trusted him/her only to have him/her end up breaking that trust... nope sorry flirting is NOT an ok thing.
There is a difference between being friendly and flirting, being friendly is ok (smiling, saying hello, etc)
If you are married and a regular on a site like POF where you regularly "flirt" you need to take a serious look at your relationship. | |
|
| married and flirting
Posted: 1/6/2005 12:39:30 PM | | Sorry should have also said at the end of that ... If you are married or in a serious relationship... | |
|
| married and flirting
Posted: 1/6/2005 1:12:51 PM | Seems like i'm in the minority here....maybe its just me having a mid-life crisis.
Thanks for the imput though all you out there.
 | |
|
| married and flirting
Posted: 1/6/2005 1:35:56 PM | | Actually, my boss is a big flirt, but totally devoted to his wife. Somehow he gets away with it, and since he works in a library with mostly women - it's a boost to all of our egos. His wife knows he is like that too. He's unique, I think, in being able to do that. I've only met one woman who was put off by it - because she took it seriously. The rest of us know better. | |
|
| married and flirting
Posted: 1/6/2005 1:50:59 PM | | if it is just flirting ok maybe but what if it goes further than you intended a friend just fell in love with a co worker while flirting and ended her Short marriage? it is just a flirt but you each have feelings that can get in the way if you are not cautious | |
|
| married and flirting
Posted: 1/6/2005 2:21:48 PM | | Ifn ya ain't flirting with your wife that way, don't flirt with me...I ain't no man's ego boost....I want to be his partner... | |
|
BCGray
|
Joined: 12/1/2004
Msg: 13 | |
| married and flirting
Posted: 1/6/2005 3:26:53 PM | Flirting with coworkers, friends or people you meet on the street, can be complimentary if done in good taste.
However to come to a Dating Site and claim it is just flirting, does not impress me one bit.  | |
|
| |
Quack
|
Joined: 12/17/2004
Msg: 15 | |
| |
| married and flirting
Posted: 1/6/2005 8:10:40 PM | If your married didnt you like take a vow?? Didnt it include things which meant you were to respect each other? If your flirtting with someone other than your spouse how respectfull is that?
Flirt with your spouse and keep things happy at home. respect the one you pledged your love too.
 | |
|
| married and flirting
Posted: 1/7/2005 6:40:06 AM | As stated in my profile, I don't care for guys with huge ego's. Trying to boost that ego by flirting falls into the same category.
When you flirt, you are "testing the waters" so to speak, to see how far the flirting will go..... but will you KNOW when it's time to slam on the brakes?? I'd have to say most men (and women alike) get a huge adrenaline rush - or EGO BOOST - and they have to finish what they started. Messy messy messy game - this flirting thing. If you are married - don't flirt. You are inviting touble into your life if you do............... | |
|
| married and flirting
Posted: 1/7/2005 6:58:34 AM | So us married guys cant compliment a woman anymore...cos we'd be asking for trouble...WHAT A SAD WORLD WE LIVE IN
 | |
|
| married and flirting
Posted: 1/7/2005 7:10:45 AM | ^^^^^You specifically said FLIRTING in the start of this forum - not COMPLIMENT!! You are the author. You didn't start the thread as "Married and Complimenting"^^^^^^
Huge difference. Don't ya get it? | |
|
| married and flirting
Posted: 1/7/2005 7:21:24 AM | ^^just to clarify...... complimenting is a good thing - nothing wrong with that.^^ Everyone likes to be complimented. Flirting tends to have deep sexual undertones - we all KNOW this!
COMPLIMENT: "That's a beautiful scarf you are wearing today Betty!"
FLIRITING: "That's a beautiful scarf you are wearing today Betty, I'd like to see you tied to my bed with it sometime"
| |
|
| married and flirting
Posted: 1/7/2005 7:33:31 AM | Personally i have a different opinion on flirting to some on here, to me flirting is something that can be done, lightheartedly and in a friendly way, with no intention of testing the water.
Mildly flirting with someone is fine when married or in a relationship as long as everyone know's that that is all it is and you're partner is aware and ok with it.
At least Stevetheeagle is being honest about being married unlike some people on dating sites. | |
|
| married and flirting
Posted: 1/7/2005 8:40:45 AM | Bells comes to the rescue 4 poor downtrodden,misunderstood Steve.....
Now ifanyone has seen Bells pic in her profile...i'm sure you'll all agree that she has a lovely smile...now am i flirting or complimenting...You pays ya money and takes ya choice.
Further thoughts welcome...
xx
or | |
|
| married and flirting
Posted: 1/7/2005 9:10:12 AM | i work in a male dominated industry - half my work life is spent stroking (mostly married) men's egos...am i testing the water? absolutely not! but friendliness, a little avid attention in conversation with my colleagues/superiors/customers allows me to get my point across when i need to. i call it charm and friendliness...some may call it flirting. but with my need to know i looked the word up on the net and low and behold...
http://www.sirc.org/publik/flirt.html
i've listed some of the points for your edification (and to justify my actions )
What Social Science can tell you about flirting and how to do it?
Why do we flirt?: Flirting is much more than just a bit of fun: it is a universal and essential aspect of human interaction. Anthropological research shows that flirting is to be found, in some form, in all cultures and societies around the world.
Flirting is a basic instinct, part of human nature... According to some evolutionary psychologists, flirting may even be the foundation of civilisation as we know it. They argue that the large human brain - our superior intelligence, complex language, everything that distinguishes us from animals... Our achievements in everything from art to rocket science may be merely a side-effect of the essential ability to charm.
Like every other human activity, flirting is governed by a complex set of unwritten laws of etiquette. These rules dictate where, when, with whom and in what manner we flirt. We generally obey these unofficial laws instinctively, without being conscious of doing so.
We only become aware of the rules when someone commits a breach of this etiquette - by flirting with the wrong person, perhaps, or at an inappropriate time or place. Chatting up a widow at her husband's funeral, for example, would at the very least incur disapproval, if not serious distress or anger. Another problem is that in some rather Puritanical cultures, such as Britain and North America, flirting has acquired a bad name. Some of us have become so worried about causing offence or sending the wrong signals that we are in danger of losing our natural talent for playful, harmless flirtation. | |
|
Quack
|
Joined: 12/17/2004
Msg: 24 | |
| married and flirting
Posted: 1/7/2005 9:37:50 AM | Steve want a little more help?
The reason most men dont flirt with their wives is, casue once you get married, people dont recieve it the same. Flirting is a game, trying to relax the other person, and yes tying to get somewhere with them, but not all the time. But seems once you get married it is no longer flirting, it is asking for sex. Just doesnt seem to have the same effect. No longer is it for fun, it has a meaning behind it, and no one is playing hard to get.
Just my take on it | |
|
| married and flirting
Posted: 1/7/2005 2:42:16 PM | Thank you 2 quack and singlemalt......the answer to why we flirt is...cos we just can't help it...I rest my case,
xx
 | |
|
Home
login 
