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| He's Just Not That Into You ...
Posted: 1/2/2006 10:30:35 PM | Hi there HM... new here Well... when I am not really into a girl then I would have to say I simply remain myself, friendly but I try not to give the wrong signals. It doesn't always work. | |
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| He's Just Not That Into You ...
Posted: 1/2/2006 10:42:46 PM | I haven't read the book, I have heard of it, it is on my list to do. Hope it is NOT by Dr. Phil.
My unbiased opinion is...it's a two way street. Being as you have read it can you tell me this, Is it really about a guy not being into a woman, the way she wants him to be, or is it that he just has so much stuff to deal with in his life that he feels secure, thinking he has unconditional love, and forgets to reasure his love to her? Does this book help women to get what they need from him without him feeling threatened or pressured? I am trying very hard to learn how to communicate better, for lack of that is why I am here. | |
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| He's Just Not That Into You ...
Posted: 1/2/2006 10:51:46 PM | The book is basically taking a situation like .... " Me and my boyfriend get along great, the problem is that he's a busy man and goes away on business trips a lot. He says he misses me when he returns, but I never hear from him otherwise. "
.... and rebuttling it as ....
" Loose him, you may get along but that's it. You're just friends, a busy man can take his cell phone that's on him all day, and give you a ring. Because let's face it, talking to a woman you really like on a hectic day is just as refreshing as you ladies make it seem. So if he was just that into you, he'd be using those broken fingers"
Something like that .. it's not 100% accurate, but I hope you get the idea. :)
P.S no it's not by Dr. Phil | |
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| He's Just Not That Into You ...
Posted: 1/2/2006 10:59:10 PM | | Never ever believe the "I've been too busy to call". Honestly, how much time does it take to make a friggen phone call. It's definitely a sign he's not that into you. But don't expect a call everyday either, some guys just don't like talking on the phone that often. | |
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AI03™
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Joined: 5/3/2005
Msg: 6 | |
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| He's Just Not That Into You ...
Posted: 1/2/2006 11:04:39 PM | | No one is ever that busy when they have cell phones so you can get ahold of anyone at anytime. heh ... i hate it when someone says that phrase, friend or lover. | |
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| He's Just Not That Into You ...
Posted: 1/2/2006 11:12:52 PM | Well, in the past, I have usually resorted to acting clueless, with mixed results. At times in my life I have, unfortunately, been Captain Oblivious and completely failed to notice that someone I like a LOT was actually attracted to me. When i found out later I was devestated because in all the cases it was someone i really liked a lot. Soooo, when I have been in a situation of talking, hangin out with, or otherwise interacting with someone I like, but am not attracted to, I become deliberately oblivious. With mixed results. On one such occasion a bunch of friends and I, and one such woman, were all out at IHOP getting breakfast after a club night. At the time I was not too long out of a NASTY breakup where I caugth my fianceee in a hotel with a guy so i was not in the mood to date ANYONE. So, I conveiniently failed to pick up on all the innuendo etc. Said lady posted this on her livejournal the next day.
"On a small side note rant: Men that seem to constantly be attracted to psycho ****es no longer will receive any form of sympathy from me. Those of us that are not "beauty queens" in the eyes of the masses, yet are sane, safe and only slightly evil sit right next to you. Open your eyes for we are not far away..........."rant off" "
So, apparently I did manage to hide the fact that I knew exactly what she was doing, and I still don't know if it would have been better to just tell her outright. She did seem rather defensive. Her looks and personality had nothing to do with anything, after all, I obviously thought she was cool enough to hang out with.
Other times my playing dumb just resulted in a more prolonged full frontal assault. I even had one girl I dated who DID start to seriously weird me out, and I outright told her I wanted to break up, that I couldn't deal with her. This was promptly ignored. At which point I stopped being my usual attentive self and proceeded to refrain from dropping what I was doing and would just continue doing whatever, even while she would just sit next to me and watch. And watch. Which reeeeally started to get creepy. I mean when you are on a computer and someone has to be bored but will sit there for 3 hours straight. That's dedicated, but when you know the attention is unwanted, it's also mega-creepy.
Now that you got me thinking on it I am starting to remember other times. One woman finally came after me when I was behind the bar at work and started pawing me and another, whne I was off duty and having a drink with some friends, came by the patio to say "hi" then said "Oh, you have something on your collar." and leaned over to remove whatever it was. Which was just her move to get in close and plant a huge smooch on me.
So, I guess, depending on the woman, whether she has a good self image or not, you're either going to get thought of as a complete airhead/jerk for ignoring her advances, or she's just going to escalate her attack plan. | |
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| He's Just Not That Into You ...
Posted: 1/2/2006 11:13:49 PM | | PHONE CALLS? my wife phoned me 4 times a day while I was at work. Why not jot it down and have a conversation at the end of the day? | |
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AI03™
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Joined: 5/3/2005
Msg: 11 | |
| He's Just Not That Into You ...
Posted: 1/2/2006 11:20:00 PM |
Why do you think that?
Tires me hearing endless amount of women relying on this statement.. maybe he's just an a$$ or maybe the woman is an a$$ or maybe.. bla bla.. just my opinion.. I picked it up at a bookstore to browse it one time and it reminded me of a grade 1 book.. there's always a reason things don't work out.. we don't need a book to tell us we just need to see the truth. Props to the author though for knowing exactly how to suck women in. | |
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| He's Just Not That Into You ...
Posted: 1/2/2006 11:28:39 PM | If I'm not that into someone I usually behave perfectly. I do all the little sweet things, and say all the right things. Cause hey, why not. It's not me that's going to get hurt. And it's good practice.
If I really am into someone, usually I try to show who I really am--faults and all. But then she'll read a book by some jerk who tells her my honesty really means I'm not that into her and I get dumped.
Ironic isn't it?
After all-- women don't really trust their own feelings do they? They need a book like that right? It basically provides an out for everyone except the most polished manipulator which is the one to really watch out for. | |
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Rake
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Joined: 3/12/2005
Msg: 13 | |
| He's Just Not That Into You ...
Posted: 1/2/2006 11:57:47 PM | Men tell us what you do when you're just not that into us
tell you that we want to marry you, start talking about getting a house together, how many of our children we want you to bear for us, what kind of cut on the stone for your engagement ring, tell you we love you all the time, call you incessantly to tell you that we cant live without you, cuddle after sex.....then we grab a beer, kick back and watch you head for the hills.... | |
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AI03™
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Joined: 5/3/2005
Msg: 14 | |
| He's Just Not That Into You ...
Posted: 1/3/2006 12:02:08 AM | tell you that we want to marry you, start talking about getting a house together, how many of our children we want you to bear for us, what kind of cut on the stone for your engagement ring, tell you we love you all the time, call you incessantly to tell you that we cant live without you, cuddle after sex
I just fell off my chair.... you do or did this Rake? After all that, I'd most definitly get you the beer and serve it nakkid with some good home cooked food and then some. *UGH* tell me women don't do this... | |
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Rake
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Joined: 3/12/2005
Msg: 15 | |
| He's Just Not That Into You ...
Posted: 1/3/2006 12:07:24 AM | | no I actually wanted to marry her, get a house, have children, looked at stones, cuddled after sex....that is until she head for the hills.....so I just figured that if you dont want her around then that's what you should do...what? Did I somehow take away the wrong lesson from that past relationship? | |
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Lee58
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Joined: 8/19/2005
Msg: 17 | |
| He's Just Not That Into You ...
Posted: 1/3/2006 12:52:43 AM | First meeting someone and not really knowing them is difficult to gage
his interest. Seriously, if a man comes on too strong ( ie calling several
times a day ) I think the majority of us, both men and women may have
a few words come to mind : high maintenance, needy, pushy and the MOST
fearful .... STALKER. I read books for enjoyment and have not read this one.
I don't have it on my most wanted list. I have found when a man is interested
he has no problems sending the signal to the receiver. | |
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joesch
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Joined: 4/21/2003
Msg: 18 | |
| He's Just Not That Into You ...
Posted: 1/3/2006 12:56:39 AM | | Well for me if I am not into someone I am not gonna be with them,can't speak for the A holes who like to string women along | |
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Rake
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Joined: 3/12/2005
Msg: 19 | |
| He's Just Not That Into You ...
Posted: 1/3/2006 8:22:55 AM | | if I wasn't so dumb I'd think he was insulting me ^^^....so brazen, what about it? wanna hook up? | |
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| He's Just Not That Into You ...
Posted: 1/3/2006 8:28:18 AM | All the book is, is common sense... if he aint going out of his way to show his affection.... then... NEXT  | |
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Joani
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Joined: 10/10/2005
Msg: 23 | |
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| He's Just Not That Into You ...
Posted: 1/3/2006 8:58:24 AM | When I heard that this book was a best seller I couldn't help thinking that we had all witnessed a new low in the history of the female gender. I mean what are you gonna run out and buy next? "How to breathe"? "Boiling water for bimbos"?
I mean for Chrissakes, don't you get it? He likes you enough for a casual dating situation, but that's all. That's it. That's the beginning, middle, and end. There's nothing more to write a book about because THAT'S ALL THERE IS TO IT!
Now go back to the bookstore and ask for your $6.95 back.
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| He's Just Not That Into You ...
Posted: 1/3/2006 9:11:52 AM | Well I quite like the book. I hate generalisations but male and female brains are wired differently. It means as a general rule (I said general!) that men aren't so good at communicating. So when he doesn't call, says he is not ready for a relationship, just wants to be friends etc etc, he really IS just not into you. Women have to learn to read the signals instead of waiting by the phone. I mean, how can he not be calling us? He must be at deaths door in a hospital bed right? Errmm... maybe not.
Of course women use the same lines and sometimes they do disappearing acts too. It doesn't mean that the man OR woman is an evil player. They are just trying to get by with minimal discomfort.
Chrissy | |
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