| Can a person be 0% responsible for 100% of their failed relationships?
Posted: 1/4/2006 11:01:55 PM | Ok folks I have a kinda odd question,, but it’s been buggin me for a long time.
I’ve just gotten out of a relationship with a lady, who in her own way is pretty amazing. But every time we have a problem, and break up (too many times to count) she throws in my face “ I’m not the one who destroyed this relationship!!!” She claims no responsibility in the failure of our relationship. She maintains that she has NEVER been the cause of any of failures in her past relationships. Now,, seeing as I was almost hubby #6 (but she never finalized the divorce with hubby #5), and has 100+ lovers. So my simple question is this: can anybody with a track record like this, be 0% responsible for the failure of 100% of their relationships?
If you need more details before you post, please feel free to email me.
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| Can a person be 0% responsible for 100% of their failed relationships?
Posted: 1/4/2006 11:09:43 PM | Yes it can be one persons fault.
Example when I was engaged and he wanted a baby. I ended up pregant because he pulled the rubber off last min. Then he desided he didn't want to be a daddy. So I left. So the answer is yes. That was over 21 years ago, and I am sticking to it being all his fault.
Its rare but it can happen. | |
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| Can a person be 0% responsible for 100% of their failed relationships?
Posted: 1/4/2006 11:36:59 PM | Man, it's rare, but it can only be one persons fault. However if y'all were fighting... it takes two. Not to mention, anyone who pawns off all guilt and responsibility like that isn't going to be good for a relationship anyways.
Do you really want to be with a person who happily helps you carry on through the good times, but decides you're better off handling the bad times by yourself? Nah.. please rethink your relationship and her maturity level.
p.s. Age has nothing to do with maturity. | |
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| Can a person be 0% responsible for 100% of their failed relationships?
Posted: 1/4/2006 11:41:33 PM | I think if someone is in a relationship involving abuse and or cheating, then how are they to blame for the relationship break down? So no not in all cases..
but if a couple grow apart because of other matters not as serious as the above then I think both are to blame..
It really all depends on the situation..everyone is different!!
I am leary of men who blame every relationship ending on the woman..those are the ones to avoid..I don't want to end up being the next ex nut who ruined his life *wink* | |
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| Can a person be 0% responsible for 100% of their failed relationships?
Posted: 1/4/2006 11:44:03 PM | Most actually turn into some weird moral contest ...... so by corollory, no. It is guilt by association at least. Even if you feel something is wrong, it probably is, can't understand and get any satisfaction. Take on the responsibility of ending it, that should at least get you on the scoreboard for responsibility.  | |
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longte
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Joined: 10/18/2004
Msg: 10 | |
| Can a person be 0% responsible for 100% of their failed relationships?
Posted: 1/4/2006 11:48:09 PM | Relationship is called that for a reason
You are in a multifaceted junction with another person
This requires input from both parties
Without that it will fail eventually
So No; it is difficult to believe that any relationship, let alone many relationships have failed on one persons account only
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Tinkle
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Joined: 12/14/2005
Msg: 11 | |
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| Can a person be 0% responsible for 100% of their failed relationships?
Posted: 1/5/2006 3:34:17 AM | | Ummmmm yeah, i would say she is 100% responsible because you didn't twist her arm to get back into a relationship with you after it had already failed. She has to take responsibility for her own actions. If the relationship fails and you take that person back, each one is responsible for putting theirself back into that situation. | |
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| Can a person be 0% responsible for 100% of their failed relationships?
Posted: 1/5/2006 3:44:38 AM | This woman of yours needs urgent help. She is desperately unhappy with own self, its not you. Suggest counselling. If she freaks at the suggestion then you'll know I'm right!
If after a few days cooling off she comes back to the idea then she is close to admitting it to herslf and you may have a slim chance of changing the situation. Otherwise, run...as fast as you can! See if you can catch me up on the way ! | |
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| Can a person be 0% responsible for 100% of their failed relationships?
Posted: 1/5/2006 4:56:39 AM | There is never a 0% responsibility factor (yes even in situations of abuse and cheating). We always have the option of getting out of a relationship if it is bad, yet victims of abuse (and yes, I spent many years in an abusive relationship and totally understand the dynamics) often times because of their own states of mind and being, remain in those situations. Same for cheating etc. (even an unwanted pregnancy can be prevented with birth control)
There is a saying and I definitely adopt it whole heartedly "we teach people how to treat us". Regardless of how unpalatable that is, we have a role in every relationship in our lives. Defining that role is what we have control over. Some like to be the victim, some like to be the rescuer....etc....etc...
When we analyze our previous relationships and what transpired, if we are very good we get a clear image of who we are in relationship and can work on changing that facet of our character if we dislike it or choose to do so. | |
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| Can a person be 0% responsible for 100% of their failed relationships?
Posted: 1/5/2006 5:22:57 AM | | I'm personally usually very clear and honest about who and how I am in the beginning of a relationship. I usually don't change. She knows what she gets and I won't take the blame if she tries to blame me for things that I told her about me in the beginning of the relationship. However, as I said before, I would still be responsible that I've picked the wrong person. | |
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| Can a person be 0% responsible for 100% of their failed relationships?
Posted: 1/5/2006 6:02:45 AM | She maintains that she has NEVER been the cause of any of failures in her past relationships. Now,, seeing as I was almost hubby #6 (but she never finalized the divorce with hubby #5), and has 100+ lovers. So my simple question is this: can anybody with a track record like this, be 0% responsible for the failure of 100% of their relationships?
You've got to be kidding right? Anyone with a track record like that who claims zero responsibility has got to be off their flippin' rocker! She's trying to make you feel guilty when she's probably the one who has been responsible for the demise of your relationship and the others that came before. That's not to say that you don't own any responsibility in this. You own a portion of the responsibility in the fact that you chose to be with this person. We all make choices about who we accept in to our lives and that lies squarely on your shoulders. If I were you, I'd kick this one to the curb and never look back. She sounds like she think's she's perfect and blames everyone else for her issues. Screw that! If that's her attitude, then she's just sucking the life out of you. Lose her and you'll be much happier in the long run. | |
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| Can a person be 0% responsible for 100% of their failed relationships?
Posted: 1/5/2006 8:11:44 AM | | No, she would have to be a perfect human being. Whether actively or passively, we all play a role. And sometimes it really just comes down to two people not being as compatible as once though so no one is really at fault (or both are). But just as it takes two to make a reljationship work, it takes two to make one fail. | |
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