| Domestic Violence-Were you a Victim
Posted: 1/7/2006 11:01:32 AM | How many women and how many men (yes men also)were ever a victim of Domestic Violence?
The pain,the humiliation,the fear,the betrayal from one we considered a friend, a lover.
The tears of children,who witness through the eyes of innocence,How can it be?The scars
that we can't see,but are there,the wounds that won't heal.
Can we be whole again,can we trust,can we ever be as we were before? | |
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| Domestic Violence-Were you a Victim
Posted: 1/7/2006 11:11:07 AM | I'm a survivor too. Much as the experience has left me with scars that I will carry with me for the rest of my life, I must admit that I'm considerably stronger because of it. | |
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| Domestic Violence-Were you a Victim
Posted: 1/7/2006 11:12:48 AM | | ..Single Dad....so are you the victim here or what? I don't see any explanation. I know this does happen to some men. Nothing to be embarrassed about but please explain your situation a little more clearly. | |
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| Domestic Violence-Were you a Victim
Posted: 1/7/2006 11:19:51 AM | Domestic violence has scientific and sociological components. It's full of facts.
Lose the jerk (jerkette), educate yourself on how to spot it, all of it's forms....and run like hell if it's glimmering in the conversation at all.
This Oprah touchy crybaby approach of: "Can I ever heal?"
This is your ONE and only beautiful life. Get on with it. | |
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| Domestic Violence-Were you a Victim
Posted: 1/7/2006 11:20:35 AM | Kep
Yes I was,and was stabbed several times,she was arrested and was convicted as a felon.
I am embarrassed to have loved someone like her,I am embarrassed to have taken it for so long,perhaps if I had hurt her back,I would not have custody of my daughter,and she is more important to me then revenge or even her seeing me strike her mom. | |
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| Domestic Violence-Were you a Victim
Posted: 1/7/2006 11:38:23 AM | | ...Single Dad..I am empathetic to what has happened to you and it must of took a hell of a lot of courage not to fight back. I personally would of defended myself, but only if my daughter was not watching this extreme violent attack. It seems rare to me that a woman would do this to her spouse. So was she always violent or did you do something to make her snap? My opinion about men hitting and causing pain to their wife/gf is that they all should be inflicted with the same pain only 10 times more,it is a terrible and growing concern amongst our society. Unfortunately these men remain in denial and haven't got the balls to seek psychological help, because they are truly weak individuals. | |
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| Domestic Violence-Were you a Victim
Posted: 1/7/2006 11:49:59 AM | I did not know that she had a record of violence,in many states,and is now wanted on a warrant for assaulting her sister.
She is what I found out to be is bi polar,and never wanted to seek help,but would drink till
she passed out,about 2 twelve packs a night.
She was not locked up,but was given a plea deal.
but when they catch her now,for the new assault,and violating her probation,she will be.
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| Domestic Violence-Were you a Victim
Posted: 1/7/2006 11:55:15 AM | | Are we so sure we have got over it? we try to live life as normal untill something reminds us and makes us relive the moment.. I had a boyfriend try to strangle me a year ago, he had supposedly given up drugs, but he started accusing me of having an affair, which i wasnt and at the time, my dad had recently had a heart attack, so the way he was going off on one, i sure didnt need it, so after he made me cry, i asked him to leave and thats when he tried to strangle me, not just once but twice. I havent had a proper relationship since and that was a year ago and i thought i was ok, but i saw a recent episode of eastenders where phill put his hands round dennis's throat and said how does it feel, that it all came back to me and i got upset. I guess i keep my barriers up, but i would trust someone again, u cant tye all with the same brush, im just a bit more choosy who i invite in to my life..I think peeps that are dealing with simular matters, could be worth having councilling. It dont make it go away, but it helps you learn how to cope and be a stronger person. | |
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| Domestic Violence-Were you a Victim
Posted: 1/7/2006 11:58:58 AM | singledad Have you spoken with a victim's advocate or gotten advice about your own protection?
Recovering from a violent attack is a process like most things. You have to forgive yourself as dragon said, realize you had NO responsibility in it. Many of us have either loved the wrong people or loved someone who was really someone else. Don't ever feel you're the only one...ever!! Also realize that was ONE person who did that, just that one person and not all men/women or people really are the same.
I survived a near fatal attack and my ex is in prison for life. I'd be MORE than happy to talk with any of you, I have no email restrictions so feel free to write and I'll do whatever I can. Just please know that healing, wholeness and happiness ARE possible!! | |
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| Domestic Violence-Were you a Victim
Posted: 1/7/2006 12:09:31 PM | Bucsgirl
Both my daughter and myself went to a counselor.
My daughter had also witnessed,her mom assaulting her half sister,her moms older daughter.
The last thing she remembers is her mom being taken away in handcuffs.
When there is a noise outside,she is so afraid.
I have installed an alarm system,and camera surveillance system.
I know if my Ex wanted to hurt me,she would not hesitate to hurt the one thing I love,even if it is her own daughter. | |
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| Domestic Violence-Were you a Victim
Posted: 1/7/2006 12:14:46 PM | | I also live in Largo. I don't know the victim's advocate personally but she did send me a letter about another matter a few months ago. My attack happened in Largo years ago and the investigators the lead ones anyway still work there. They were wonderful to me, sometimes though you have to really push for any help you can possibly get. | |
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| Domestic Violence-Were you a Victim
Posted: 1/7/2006 12:16:33 PM | I am sorry to hear bucsgirl about you being so hurt.
Most people see on TV,what others have lived.
You are strong,and as I can see compassionate as well
Thanks | |
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| Domestic Violence-Were you a Victim
Posted: 1/7/2006 12:26:31 PM | | ^^^this one has a perservering soul^^^ and she is awesome and inspiring, in this and every other area I can think of. If you have survived this and need someone to talk to, she is the woman for it!!!! Bless you today and all days.... | |
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| Domestic Violence-Were you a Victim
Posted: 1/7/2006 12:29:28 PM | The only violence I've know from women came from the depths of an overabundance of alcohol. Took some licks and got hurt, but no scars, from ladies that is. I always had the luxury of being able to walk away. I'm sure we will have people here that say everyone does, but until we walk a whole lot more than a mile in someone' shoes? Be supportive, women need people to turn too. For a lot of us it is hard to realize just how manipulative isolation and repetitive abuse is hard for women to acknowledge let alone address. More of us need to be there for women in trouble.
Tamenator, Bucs, all you spectacularly beautiful survivors.  Attitude is everything. | |
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| Domestic Violence-Were you a Victim
Posted: 1/7/2006 12:43:18 PM | | Thanks for the kindest of words from my good friends. Truly humbling. I honestly have faith and believe everything happens for a reason and I was determined to survive and come out better and stronger not just for myself but for any others I could help along the way. I will continue to do this, how could I possibly NOT?? | |
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| Domestic Violence-Were you a Victim
Posted: 1/7/2006 1:18:49 PM | Being a surviving victim of domestic violence, I can say without a doubt you will never be the same again!! All you do is learn from the experience meaning try and steer away from people with an addiction problem. In my case men with a heavy drink problem for starters as this was the trigger in my relationship. In order to become whole again you must do some real good soul searching, feel sorry when you need to, most importantly don't wallow. Even though it might not seem that way at the time there are some good decent human beings out there. Talk about it either with a professional or just sharing your experiences with others is making a good start. Finally remeber the person who does this kind of thing is ill and it is never your FAULT!! Love yourself above all things because if you don't no-one else can and will.  | |
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Wulfie
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Joined: 5/18/2005
Msg: 21 | |
| Domestic Violence-Were you a Victim
Posted: 1/7/2006 2:13:34 PM | I am a survivor of domestic violence........... My 1st husband had a very violent temper and would hit out for no apparent reason............. One incident left me totally blind in my left eye, his last attack permanently damaged the vision in my right..... Luckily those are the only lasting effects, I say that because the last attack could very easily left my with brain damage.
As others have said we HAVE to forgive ourselves and stop listening to the internal voice that repeatedly tells us we should have done 'this' or 'that' differently, we should have 'known', we should have 'go out sooner' all the well worn tapes.
Yes, we can learn to trust again as long as we learn to trust ourselves first........
With time the wounds heal and we can even learn to laugh at our strange reactions to the odd things that trigger the bad memories.
We will never be the same again? NO............ We can, however, become stronger and better people......
It takes courage and commitment to overcome the effects of domestic violence luckily there are a lot of people who are willing and ready to offer a helping hand .......... | |
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Tinkle
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Joined: 12/14/2005
Msg: 22 | |
| Domestic Violence-Were you a Victim
Posted: 1/7/2006 2:27:58 PM | My mommy, brother, and daddy beat me. I try and do it to some bully, I get in trouble:( Parent can kick their son's ass and it's called discipline. I kick someone's ass who needs it, it's called....... shit hitting fan.
Sorry not a women so I pulled from a different angle. Yeh yeh yeh, I know there are some battered husband. /snicker | |
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| Domestic Violence-Were you a Victim
Posted: 1/7/2006 2:31:31 PM | I have been in my younger yrs, but that comes with taking resposibility for my part and making the effort not to repeat the past | |
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| Domestic Violence-Were you a Victim
Posted: 1/7/2006 3:37:52 PM | Thanks to all
It is just something that makes a person more cautious about meeting someone.
I wonder how many people on this site,were the abusers,makes you wonder.
Even though there profiles say one thing,there Ex's might say another. | |
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| Domestic Violence-Were you a Victim
Posted: 1/7/2006 10:24:16 PM | | I have never been a victim of domestic violence, bc I can easily spot out any types of qualities in a man that would fit the role of the abuser. I think I am so strong and so intimidating to most men, that I actually scare them. I was bullied in highschool before, and so I know what it's like to fight back and keep on getting stronger and stronger. So, in fact, any man that even tried to control me by suggesting I wear something else, when I am with him, I leave him right away. | |
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