| I've reviewed your profiles and here are the results:
Posted: 1/8/2006 9:32:44 PM | I've talked to at least 200 people and looked at thousands of profiles in my days at POF; I've found that the people who have the most problems with it are the ones who don't match their profile. You won't be happy unless you're honest with others. Don't worry about being embarrassed. If you're a goofy person, then your profile should be goofy. If you're a funny&serious person, then your profile should be funny&serious. Don't try to please everyone in an effort to 'keep all your options open', you'll have the most boring, government-issued profile ever. I won't give specific examples of people - you know who you are. Actually, you don't know who you are - that's why I'm writing this.
There's a saying: "At 50, you get the face you deserve." On POF, you get the results that you deserve. Boring people make boring profiles and get boring results. Fun people make fun profiles and get fun results. The best overall advice I can give is to picture your ideal mate, and then write your profile like you're talking to them. Picture your soulmate (don't use this word in your profile, Ms Clingy) reading your profile and then sending you a message that says: "I don't respond to a lot of profiles, but when I read yours it was like it was me talking. We must've met before. Do I know you? Are you teasing me? Please don't turn out to be a 13 year old boy." I'll let you take it from there.
Don't tell me what you like and what you're like - SHOW me what you like and what you're like.
Bad: "I have a wacky sense of humour."
Good: "I always carry a dog leash so that I can put the end of it under the tire of a cute guy's car and accuse him of running over my dog - it's a good ice-breaker."
For the record, here's all the things that I can remember about profiles right now - it's geared more towards genders without a Y-chromosome:
• Pictures: I never check profiles without pictures; most people don't. Put up a picture, you're better looking than you think. Get a nice one done. Don't put up an old one, even if it's your favourite. If someone doesn't look somewhat as good as their picture, I feel lied to and don't trust the person much anymore. Stop saying crap like "I want someone to like me for who I am inside first" - you're just scared, I was too. Cutesy pictures, sunsets, landscapes or mythological characters are cool if it represents you somehow, but if there's no real picture as well, then we assume the worst. Guys are assumed to be ugly, women are assumed to be fat.
• Grammar: Use Spellcheck, capitals, paragraphs and punctuation. Please don't use "u" instead of "you", it's not cute and it makes u look 12.
• Prefer not to say ==> "Prefer not to meet"
• Pets: Put up a picture of your pet, or you with your pet - people like animals. I've seen some great dog shots. Sometimes I want to meet the person just to see the dog. Make it a good closeup picture though, and don't put up more than, say, two. I'm not a huge fan of cute cat pictures, but some guys are.
• Picture rotation: Like your tires, rotate your pictures. Don't just list all eight and leave them up. Be a little mysterious. When you change your profile, rotate a new picture in. It catches peoples' attention and they'll check out your profile again. Don't worry, people don't mind being tricked in this way. Whether you like it or not, it's the first and main thing that people use when deciding whether to view your profile.
• Interesting: I love reading profiles that are interesting, positive and funny. I'll read them again and again and again. You know that if you're with that person, that you're going to have fun, even when something crappy is happening. Tell a stupid story about yourself; show you're human. Make sure that there's a least a couple of paragraphs of stuff to pique someone's curiosity. You wouldn't believe how many emails start "Okay, just had to ask...is that story about XXXXXXXXXX true?"
• Changing your profile: Do it every once in a while. Not as often as me, I'm a spaz that way and think that thousands of people are hanging on my every word. Like now, I actually think that people will have read this far in my post. When I read a profile whose First Date idea is "Sitting on a patio sipping a frosty beverage" and it's the middle of February (in Canada), I know that the person doesn't care. If you don't care about your profile, then I don't care about your profile.
• Your competition: Actually, it's not your competition if you believe in that soulmate thing. Women, check out other women's profiles; check out what the men are looking at. See who seems fun, who seems creepy, and what phrases are overused. Contact them if you want - tell them that you liked their profile, ask them how it's going. Avoid the same old cliches:
• "I never know what to write here" -- honest, but annoying
• "How does one sum up one's life in a few words" -- hint: you're not supposed to
• "Lots of interests - ask me" -- I've never wanted to know more about anyone who has written this. Ask yourself: Do you pick up a plain rock in the hopes that there'll be something interesting underneath, or do you pick up an interesting rock?
• Emoticons: Personally, I hate them. If you do use them, make sure that they're not replacing what you want to say. Think of them as a spice, not a meal. On second thoughts, just don't use them.
• Headlines: Put up a decent headline. It can be funny, serious or just plain bizarre. People don't read them as much as you'd like to think, but assuming you have up a nice picture, they will. Please please please avoid the headlines: "Just looking", "No players", "Trying again", "Built-in BS detector", "No head games", "Are there any good guys left?", etc. Why, you ask?
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[CAUTION: HERE BE NEGATIVE SECTION]
Just looking: Wow, thanks for honouring us with your presence; please choose one of us - we peons NEED to be here, not like you. Enjoy your ride past in the popemobile.
No players / Built-in BS detector: No kidding? This not only doesn't work, but it makes you sound like you've met a lot of jerks because you're a poor judge of character.
Trying again: Do you want to sound like you're giving it yet another a half-assed effort? It has the same voracity as someone on their 10th diet or attempting to quit smoking for the bazillionth time. People actually now WANT to see these people fail - they're just so annoying and timewasting. How about "I'm back, did I miss anything?" or "You can't stop me dating - I'm an idiot." Either of these shows a better attitude and some creativity. I'm sure that you can think of better ones than me. Actually I'm just saying that - I'm not that modest.
No headgames: Who started this stupid phrase? See "No players".
Are there any good guys left?: Ooooo, a challenge. I'm going to jolly-well show you just how good of a guy I really am. Wait, no I'm not - you sound lazy and a poor catch. I don't know exactly why, but I find this one to be the most insulting.
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Good luck on POF. | |
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| I've reviewed your profiles and here are the results:
Posted: 1/8/2006 10:54:57 PM | This has got to be the most well-balanced, comprehensive and sensible advice about profiles I've seen so far. Bravo to both your eyes AND your ham! Here's a special emoticon just for you since I know how you treasure them:  | |
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| I've reviewed your profiles and here are the results:
Posted: 1/9/2006 5:17:32 AM | | I'm speechless....you've said it all.....well not all...there's always room for more...so....................when the rest of us get over our natural inclination to be overwhelmed and awestruck............when that day comes....I'm sure that somebody, somewhere, in this fair land of 'Pofferville', will add to, or at least elaborate........... I'm sorry.......... I can't continue with this post....I feel soooooo guilty..................My name is Georgy Girl........ and I am......................when I figure ' that ' out I'llcontinue this confession....I think it will be something to do with replying to a post I havn't completely read because I was afraid I'd feel compelled to spend anxious hours revising my profile....and 'how' can I do that until I figure out........ ''who I am''....am I funny...am I serious am I.....what were the other choices again?????....I forget...or maybe that's as far as I got in reading that nagnificent post....and please believe me when I say that I am not being sarcastic...I wish I was...imagine having an identity crisis at my age.....those of you who are inclined...please pray for me....I am going to add some smileys now....I can at least do that appropriately(I hope)......p.s. please believe me when I say I am NOT being sarcastic.... | |
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| I've reviewed your profiles and here are the results:
Posted: 1/9/2006 6:00:43 AM | p.p.s..methinks she doth protest too much(re sarcasim)...here are the smileys I promised...... this one is for you op or is that ot,,,I am a newbie forumite .... and the rest are for y'all to share.......        this last smiley may represent me if my feelings get hurt because of negative replys to this post....or....if my feelings get hurt because nobody even notices this post....actually that might not be such a bad thing.......shuffles off pondering post mid life identity crisis wondering whether she should start playing with kids her own age.............................................................. : | |
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| I've reviewed your profiles and here are the results:
Posted: 1/9/2006 8:22:37 PM | GE&H is a wise (and very good looking) man. He knows of which he speaks. We used to read each other's profiles daily and harrass each other when boring or dull.
I'll miss ya while you are on your sabbatical bud! Take care! | |
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| I've reviewed your profiles and here are the results:
Posted: 1/11/2006 1:50:22 PM |
• Prefer not to say ==> "Prefer not to meet"
Hahahaha! Oh brilliant! I loved that!!
• Pets: Put up a picture of your pet, or you with your pet - people like animals. I've seen some great dog shots. Sometimes I want to meet the person just to see the dog. Make it a good closeup picture though, and don't put up more than, say, two. I'm not a huge fan of cute cat pictures, but some guys are.
I am somehwat shocked by this advice, to be honest, since more than one person has e-mailed me to attempt to skewer me over the use of my cat picture and not my OWN picture. I will send my picture to those who aren't showing serious loser tendancies.
Re: The negative section...
I also hate seieng these things in the profiles. They make the profile owner out to be very much of a downer. | |
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| I've reviewed your profiles and here are the results:
Posted: 1/11/2006 5:52:47 PM | Thanks for the comments msannthrope, Bandito, girls-georgy&Alberta, and lux interior. Just a couple of things:
msannthrope, Bandito: Yeah, I thought it was comprehensive too but now I realize how much stuff I missed. Oh well, it was just supposed to be an indication of how guys think, not a complete analysis.
georgy girl: I must admit that I didn't get your posts. Oh, I understand and appreciate the attempt at sarcasm - I just didn't get them. Please help me out - what were they about? Are you mad at me for trying to help people realize how their profiles read to other people? Maybe you're mad/jealous because my 'enter' key works. I just don't know. Oh, in your profile you were asking how to line your poem up - just hit 'enter' before every line.
AlbertaGirlie: You spelt "manoeuvre" wrong.
lux interior: My advice about pets should be read as follows:
"Cutesy pictures, sunsets, landscapes or mythological characters are cool if it represents you somehow, but if there's no real picture as well, then we assume the worst."
"Put up a picture of your pet, or you with your pet - people like animals."
Hope that makes more sense.
Oh, and yes -- I do appreciate the irony of not having a profile up right while I take my break from most POFing activities, and only showing a picture that isn't of me. For the record, I've named the cow Rosie and adopted her. Right now she's sitting on the picnic table ready to spring up into the tree and catch a bird. | |
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