| I still havn't met his parents...what do you think?
Posted: 1/9/2006 2:30:18 PM | | So i've been dating this guy for about 11 months now and I still havn't met his family. Here's his reasoning behind it. He comes from an Italien family and he says that for his family, its a really big deal to bring a girl home - it means hes pretty much going to marry them. I accepted this for a while, and I didn't really want to pressure him either so I kinda left it alone. But now its come up again in my mind, I really am starting to wonder if theres something else, but I also don't want to bring it up again because I don't want him to feel like he has to - I want him to want to introduce me to them. A little help please!! | |
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arri
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Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 3 | |
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| I still havn't met his parents...what do you think?
Posted: 1/9/2006 2:36:07 PM | | I'd wonder what his intentions are then, if you're apparently not good enough to meet the family yet. I mean almost a year??? Surely they know he's dating someone in that time, right? | |
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arri
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Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 6 | |
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Tinkle
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Joined: 12/14/2005
Msg: 7 | |
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| I still havn't met his parents...what do you think?
Posted: 1/9/2006 2:40:05 PM | | Well, I mean I asked him a while ago if they knew about me and he said of course - but that doesn't really mean anything since I have no way of proving other wise - and no friends, he lives like 45 min away so because I can't really go to his house cause of the whole family thing, he just comes here to hang out - I have picked him up once at his house before cause his car was screwed so I do at least know where he lives and stuff - but its still starting to bother me - | |
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| I still havn't met his parents...what do you think?
Posted: 1/9/2006 2:41:18 PM | lolllllll Tinkle
If it were my son dating her I'd say good catch son!
She's got all her stuff together it seems by her profile, went to school, job, not a bimbo.
crazy italian people | |
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arri
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Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 10 | |
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| I still havn't met his parents...what do you think?
Posted: 1/9/2006 2:48:58 PM | hey blu_eyed_gal, it's nt crazy italian people. It is just that the marriage and all family stuff is something very important for them
He doens'nt present her to his family just means he don't consider marrying her fr the moment. Maybe never...
up to them to decide that...
an advice : never go in an italian family if you don't understand that kind of stuff, because it will cause problems later... Italian mother in law can be the best and the worst. For WASPs gals, probably the worst. | |
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arri
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Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 13 | |
| I still havn't met his parents...what do you think?
Posted: 1/9/2006 2:50:42 PM | | It's not just Italians either. Greeks, Persians and a lot of boys belonging to the older cultures. dad doesn't usually care and leaves us alone ... it's the mom you have to win over and you know how critical women can be about other women and their little boy | |
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| I still havn't met his parents...what do you think?
Posted: 1/9/2006 2:53:27 PM | My Italian family doesn't think it is a big deal to bring a girl home. After 11 months and he is still not letting you meet them...... Something is strange. After 11 months my family would wonder what was wrong with you if I didn't bring you around.
You say you went to his house once in 11 months?? Maybe his wife wasn't home that day. | |
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| I still havn't met his parents...what do you think?
Posted: 1/9/2006 3:08:23 PM | Yeah, crossed my jaded mind too......sheesh!
To the OP, how old is he? Does he still live with his parents? I can totally relate to someone being reluctant to have that parental pressure added to their dating sitution, but there is a time for everything. So, I guess you are going to have to decide how much longer you want the situation to go on without the introduction.
Has he met your family? What do they think of him?
It is true that there could be a lot of undue pressure added by his family pro or con which could be why he is taking his time. | |
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AI03™
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Joined: 5/3/2005
Msg: 19 | |
| I still havn't met his parents...what do you think?
Posted: 1/9/2006 3:08:58 PM | I wonder how old this guy is... (Italian parents have their own idea's of what age a child should be married at) it could very well be what he tells you. I'm from this culture and know all about the "family" and their expectations... some are more laid back, others adhere to the strict "old country" way of thinking... If his family is the latter, he's probably doing himself and you a favour by not introducing you... trust me.. when Mama speaks, everyone has to listen and when Papa speaks.. everyone runs.
If you really care for him, give this time and keep the lines of communication open regarding the subject.  | |
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Tinkle
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Joined: 12/14/2005
Msg: 20 | |
| I still havn't met his parents...what do you think?
Posted: 1/9/2006 3:18:08 PM | """"""""""""I know rhino. I was just joking when I said "crazy". I have friends from different countries who go through the same thing.""""""""""""
Ya, Blue is the forum Nazi, you didn't know?
I'm one of her little soldiers that is standing at attention. /swing
Just kidding. Sorta.  | |
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| I still havn't met his parents...what do you think?
Posted: 1/9/2006 3:22:35 PM | AI03 is perfectly right, in my opinion.
but the former suggestion regarding a possible wife could be true, too : is the guy more than 30 ? if yes, be aware.
If the guy is young, it's just a question of family. Just keep cool. If you can't stand with this, just leave it. Some 12 years ago, i presented the woman who became my wife, but too soon... terrible error that lead her to leave some years ago... take my advice fot just what it is | |
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arri
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Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 22 | |
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| I still havn't met his parents...what do you think?
Posted: 1/9/2006 3:54:16 PM |
So i've been dating this guy for about 11 months now and I still havn't met his family. Here's his reasoning behind it. He comes from an Italien family and he says that for his family, its a really big deal to bring a girl home - it means hes pretty much going to marry them. I accepted this for a while, and I didn't really want to pressure him either so I kinda left it alone. But now its come up again in my mind, I really am starting to wonder if theres something else, but I also don't want to bring it up again because I don't want him to feel like he has to - I want him to want to introduce me to them. A little help please!!
wow and I was jsut about to make a new post asking if it was wierd that we've been dating for 4 months and he hasn't introduced me to his family (granted they live far away and he doesn't see them except on holidays).. but 11 months????? Does his family live close by? I would think things would be serious enough after 11 months to warrent meeting his parents??? | |
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| I still havn't met his parents...what do you think?
Posted: 1/9/2006 4:28:48 PM | Yeh it's true about Italian families.
I also know if they have not brought you home yet, it's more because they personlay are not sure yet if your the one.
If they know your the one they will bring you home to meet the family, laughs not just the parents it's a family affair, and 9 times out of 10 such pure upbringings if that is what he truely had a real Italian upbringing, the family wants to see him with an Italian girl for marrige.
If he realy likes you he will bring you home even if your not Italian and pray they like you. | |
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| I still havn't met his parents...what do you think?
Posted: 1/9/2006 4:32:04 PM | I am of a of a mixed race and my ex bf was italian and his parents accept me fine but years ago they wont but he told them he want to choose the girl he wants to be with and he did and eventually they accept it by time, I dont think it an italian or greek thing what makes their parents different from the rest of the cultures of parents, they can hate you for eg your job or you too poor for their child who knows, who the f*uck knows and I personally wont cry a river about it. not sure sometimes these guys or girls of that background sometimes can use the parent wont accept you as an excuse to leave the realationship when ever they like, as being myself eastindian and spanish mix my complexion is tanned all year round and I dated east indian guys with the same excuses and italian and greeks but not all are the same but most are, as harsh as it may sounds they say the same thing to me and 2 yrs later down the road they marry their own culture or of an causian race or a different girl all together even a indian or spanish girl and when I ask them I thought you cant marry a differernt race or live with one they say oh I know I had to convinced my parents to the end and sometimes I just nodd with giggles of disbelive is it me or he just was not into me, so hon sometimes people mostly knows the guy or girl they want to marry most of the times and it not a race issues as much but its their choices, find out how he sees you in a year down the road ,ohh well it up to you . remember it not just an italian or a greek thing they are not the only parents of cultures around the globe who are against their kids marrying some one different race etc. | |
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