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| Do all men think a woman with a kid wants you to be the new daddy?
Posted: 1/10/2006 11:52:02 PM | I don't know if they think that way, but it's not fair to assume all men think that way.
Before my son married his wife, she told him that her children already have a father so she wasn't marrying him to get a new Dad for them. He and her teenage children are good friends, and she handles the discipline, unless something comes up when she's not available.
Hey! They're good kids! I don't think there has been much need for discipline with them. As far as I'm concerned they're my grandchildren, too. | |
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| Do all men think a woman with a kid wants you to be the new daddy?
Posted: 1/10/2006 11:58:45 PM | | By no means am i saying all men think that way. ive just met more than a few who do. Im just sayin its kinda strange to me cause a persons child is usualy (should be ) the most important thing and for a man to say "she justs wants a dad for her kid" is .... im not sure the best word to disscribe it but i dont like it very much. And i hear it more and more and its got me wonderin is it a bad flu goin around or somethin? Im just havin a hard time wrappin my head around it. | |
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| Do all men think a woman with a kid wants you to be the new daddy?
Posted: 1/11/2006 1:48:02 AM | How do you separate the roles?
If she asks for any money or any responsibility of him for looking after the child, wouldn't that blur the distinction.
The guy is still going to be influenced by the child in the fact she has to arrange time to go out and so forth.
Rather difficult to do unless you are just friends with benefits and only see each other once a week.
Don't see it happening. | |
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shelbe
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Joined: 5/13/2005
Msg: 11 | |
| Do all men think a woman with a kid wants you to be the new daddy?
Posted: 1/11/2006 2:04:51 AM | I'm a single mom of 2 kids and i totally aggree with this.Alot of men i have met think this way.It really gets me,i can be out and get chatting to a bloke.Everything is going great untill he ask's what i do for a living.Honest as i am,i proudly say i am a full time mom.The expression on there faces change,they make an exuse and before you know it they are gone.(My kids have got a dad.He is a waste of space who wants nothing to do with them,BUT he is still there dad.I'm not on the look out for another).
Either that or men take it as a sign im easy and think they can get into my knickers in 5 minuites.Do any of you other single moms find that? | |
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| Do all men think a woman with a kid wants you to be the new daddy?
Posted: 1/11/2006 3:24:53 AM | | I don't think so,and of course all situations are different,but, the best thing a man can do is be a best friend to the child.Nobody can take a fathers place,but,there is always room for a good friend,a role model,someone the kid(s) can turn to for advice,and to be there for them if need be.Let the child come to you instead of pushing yourself on them.Kids are so precious and need all the love and guidance they could get in today's world.That is just my opinion,but,of course everyone sees it different. | |
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| Do all men think a woman with a kid wants you to be the new daddy?
Posted: 1/11/2006 7:22:57 AM | Well, I found out that I am liking a woman with a kid. To be honest, if I this was a year earlier I would have avoided her like the plague. She told me straight up that she had a kid, and I respected that... She also told me that she thought I was cute so that was a winner. In getting to know her I got interested in her and her kid was kind of cool in his own way. He's a handsome little guy and such. Don't view me becoming a father to her son, possibly a decent guy he can look up to. Maybe if we really hit it off and we have a future together I would, because his real dad isn't in his life and I don't tollerate that smitt at all.
I came from a place where if you were 20 and not married/had kids people wondered if you were homosexual! I've seen plenty of my female friend barely manage to get out of high school before having their first kid. My best friend told me straight up that she was pregnant, I was the third one to know (her mother and the guy were the first two of course) and I saw her raise her kid basically through her family. I was there too for her because basically I knew her longer than I knew my own younger brother so we were tight. I took her kid to school, rushed to get him lunch if we forgot, helped him with his homework, we went grocery shopping and everything. I was like his over protective uncle. Shoot, they even said that if he acted up around me I could disipline him. But I wasn't his father, can't be and wouldn't dream of it.
I look at it in the same way in seeing this new woman for now at least.
If that made any sense... | |
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| Do all men think a woman with a kid wants you to be the new daddy?
Posted: 1/11/2006 7:40:42 AM | | Kinda glad this thread came up. When my son (now almost 25) was young, not only did I have to fight that stereotype, I was also having to deal with those men who were mostly interested in me because I had a son. They wanted a child but couldn't have one, and after one look at my boy, would be more than happy to adopt him as their own. As I have always tried to maintain a sense of humor, I would laugh in their faces and ask just exactly where they got the idea that I was so willing to share? My kids are MINE!!! I did the work to have and raise them to be the people they are. (solo parent) Anyone who wants to come into my life has to accept them as a part of it, but thinking that they are going to automatically be "daddy" is just plain egotistical. | |
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| Do all men think a woman with a kid wants you to be the new daddy?
Posted: 1/11/2006 7:51:05 AM | | Well I have 3 kids, and I also wouldnt want them to meet any guy I was dating.They have a good relationship with thier dad, and I would only want them to meet a guy if we were getting serious.Even then, thier father is ther father, even if they have another male role model. | |
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Shaps
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Joined: 4/23/2005
Msg: 20 | |
| Do all men think a woman with a kid wants you to be the new daddy?
Posted: 1/11/2006 12:12:47 PM | I've met women's kids before I met them. I have been told I have nothing to worry about and yet get a phone call asking me to pick up diapers. I knew a guy ( not seriously not me ) who blew $500 on a plane ticket, met a woman whom he was talking to and cyber dating for like 3 years only to be used as a babyistter as she went out to a party.
I don't think chit anymore, but the women do lol | |
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| Do all men think a woman with a kid wants you to be the new daddy?
Posted: 1/11/2006 12:19:57 PM | Realy asking someone to do you a favore is just that. Just because your asked to pick up some dipers doesnt mean she looks at you as new daddy. Would you get upset if you were asked to pick up some cat food and think "oh my god she only wants me to help take care of her cat!" Probably not.
Most of the women i talk to aboout this are the same as me.
But im sure there are a few who would use a man like that | |
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| Do all men think a woman with a kid wants you to be the new daddy?
Posted: 1/11/2006 12:23:45 PM | | I'm the father of a 6-yr old girl who lives with her mother. When I meet a woman, I never think that she's gonna want me to be a father to her child, just like I don't expect her to be a stand-in mother for mine. In that same aspect, I wonder if single fathers, like myself, have run into situations where women are intimidated by the fact that their child's mother is in their life, even though it's not romantic. My last relationship ended because the woman was worried that my daughter's mother and I would get back together, even though that's not the case and never will be. | |
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| Do all men think a woman with a kid wants you to be the new daddy?
Posted: 1/11/2006 1:05:10 PM | Too many men in a childs life can be destrcutive...better to be sure the guy is going to be around for awhile before he or she spends too much time with the kiddos.
Those that have their "friends" shack up etc ...then wonder why their kids are so messed up. | |
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Shaps
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Joined: 4/23/2005
Msg: 25 | |
| Do all men think a woman with a kid wants you to be the new daddy?
Posted: 1/11/2006 8:33:25 PM | When a woman tells me she has kids, then she is telling me she has kids LMAO
Unless she is like " my son suffers so much cause the father ran off " then I just see how it goes. One problem is that a single mom, more than ever means she's on social assistance and is living from payment to payment.
I don't want to be a problem with her like that, but I am also not gonna be an instant cure | |
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