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| I want to die
Posted: 1/18/2006 2:58:23 PM | I lost the love of my life. She's getting married to someone this year. It's been a few days and all I think about is how easy it would be if/when I die. All I ever cared about was being in love and loved back. To me that's what life is about. Not wealth, making a name for yourself, but finding your true love.
I try to glimpse at the future and I just don't see any. I rather work and slave away so I can keep myself occupied. I dread the days where I don't have to work. I dread knowing you are with someone else.
I notice some/most of the people here are genuinely kind-hearted. I want to be uplifted and try to make peace with my self. I want to read cases where life did go on, where once you felt suicidal now you have calm and hope.
In all my life I never contemplated about suicide. Now it seems the only escape for me other than her coming back into my life. I given up hope in that scenario because I know the person she is with would never give up someone so unbelievable as her.
Shannon I love you and miss you with all my heart. I wish things could have turned out differently. My life will never be the same ever.
Someone please inspire me. I don't want to die and I don't want to feel this hopeless anymore. | |
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| I want to die
Posted: 1/18/2006 3:07:56 PM | Shannon moved on a long time ago and so should you. Breaking up is hard to do. Living in the past no matter how beautiful it may seem with the rose tinted glasses you are wearing is not the present. Think about the beautiful person that is waiting for you. Think about the kids that you won't get to live because of your self-indulgent, destructive behavior. Once you're with someone new that loves you and vice versa you will say to yourself, "Shannon who?"
Good luck and peace. | |
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| I want to die
Posted: 1/18/2006 3:12:09 PM | | It may seem hard right now but trust me it will get much easier. I know you are probably tired of people saying that but take it from a woman who lost the love of her life to another woman that whom he also proposed to. I was 7 1/2 months pregnant at that time. so just imagine my emotions. I have gotten over it completely and it has been only 4 months. Also my getting over him had nothing to do with another man. | |
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| I want to die
Posted: 1/18/2006 3:17:47 PM | No, you want to live... thats why you wrote this... belive me when i tell you, you're not hopeless, your case is not at a lose, you can still push through this, "Stay in the fight" dont give up, suicide is a permenent solution to a temporary problem... now compared to many guys here including myself will never have a chance, you at least have a future, me i have singed away my future to the govenment, soon i will be going off to the Marines and one day i wont "exsist" anymore if you follow me... you my friend still have a chance of life, a chance of finding that special woemn, this girl Shannon she wasn't the right one but the one right now. So pick yourself up man and go march out into this big bad world take it by the horns look at it straight in the eye and tell it to **** its self becuse you're gonna live and you're gonna find you're right women, and life cant do shit about but watch... remember you're a man and you have BALLS, so use them, so i hope you get better bro... "and know this i have walked with evil and i have looked into the eyes of death and smiled, but death doesnt smile back when you fool with it." 
SEMPER FI | |
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| I want to die
Posted: 1/18/2006 3:28:43 PM | It is the best thing to ever happen to you.
Please do not get mad at me for saying it. I once had a break up.
It was really depressing...flet like someone ripped my heart out or dipped my heart with lead.
But once I got passed the depression, the emotional scarring brings you strength and a better perspective as welkl as the maturity.
You will get passed this and I know u will move on. | |
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| I want to die
Posted: 1/18/2006 3:31:13 PM | wow good advice couldnt have said it better myself... mysticrogue you're good at this... | |
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| I want to die
Posted: 1/18/2006 3:34:26 PM | Darn good advice from you to latinomarine. | |
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| I want to die
Posted: 1/18/2006 3:40:48 PM | At a loss you want inspiration well how about this. Think of the pain that this will cause your family always second guessing how they could help you. Anyway here is some words of inspiration for you. A poem.
This Is No Way Out
Ending it all is an easy way out
At this moment you just want to shout
Going on will take great courage and great valor
Moving forward will take great power.
Your heart stops with your last gasp
An action your family will not quite grasp
Stand up take courage and command
Do you really want this to be your last stand
Quitting proves nothing in anyone’s gape
You leave your family so you can escape
They will be left behind only to query
The answers they seek will leave them weary
Never to find solace and tranquility
But if you take control you have the ability
To get over this pain and save their woe
You will make them happy and not leave them in sorrow
triplebp
jjr 01/18/2006
Don't do it there is much more to life than one girl.
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| I want to die
Posted: 1/18/2006 3:45:05 PM | hey, life definately goes on. take care of yourself, spend time with friends, keep busy, plan ahead. the time by yourself is horrible at first, but it gets better, and you get used to being alone again, you'll be ok, that's for sure - its just very hard at first.
give her plenty of space, don't throw yourself onto her, hopefully she will come around, try to be her friend if you can, even if it's just emails and the odd phone call, theres nothing worse than feeling like an ***hole to the one you care so much about so play it easy.
i lost a girl I truly loved, I was a bit younger, I was in such a mess when it happened. but you pick yourself up.
just a year ago I found out i'd be getting divorced, and that i'd have to move to canada (from england) so I could get to be around my daughter, which meant leaving everything behind, friends family etc. and obviously loosing my wife. that was quite devestating for me, but I didn't really get devestated at the same time, I just sucked it up, moved on, and a year later, and i'm feeling ok :) things arn't so bad you know, I get on with my ex wife, my daughter, i've got some new friends here. just trying to make it clear that you'll definately be ok just take good care of yourself, keep eating, if you get too much time on your hands, rent movies or something (keep active) best wishes | |
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| I want to die
Posted: 1/18/2006 3:53:57 PM | I'll give it to you straight too. latinomarine was right... you don't want to die. When my wife and I split up, I wanted to die too. I never contemplated suicide, but I didn't really feel like living. It's now been a year and I'm happier than I've been in years. What you're feeling right now will eventually subside. Just tough it out. Hopefully you are as lucky as I am to have people in your life who help you through it. There was no advice they could give to help me deal with it, but just the fact that I had everyone from friends, to family, to co-workers that I could talk with. I mean it made me realize all the good things that I really do have in my life. And the thing that really got me was my co-workers. I mean we all get along and everything, but it was a real eye-opener to hear them say some of the things they did about the kind of person they see me as.
My point about the co-workers, though, is look around, you might be surprised where you find your inspiration to not give up the fight. Like I say, I just never would have expected them to respond the way they did. | |
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| I want to die
Posted: 1/18/2006 4:40:02 PM | To: AT A LOSS
your first step is to get some profesional help, believe me it does help
i went through the same thing as you it all started in march 03 , we had been seperated the year before but we decided to give it another go, that lasted 3 months, i became severley depressed and attempted suicide by slitting my wrists, and taking overdose with alchohol, for 3 months i ate nothing just drank water and coffee, i went from 17 half stone to 11 half in 3 months, it became worse as a few months later she moved into the close that i was living in, it was great for the fact that my kids were just 10 doors away, i tried every thing possible to get her back,
eventually she found another man and i found another girl but she didnt like that so she decided to tell me that she was in love with me so i ended my new relationship to be with her, within 4 wks she met another man and he moved in with her, can you imagine looking out of your living room window to see the woman you love enter her bedroom of a night, knowing what will happen,
just a few wks later she moves with her new fella to another place far away, she even turned up on her wedding day in her wedding dress to ask me to have our kids so she could celebrate,
thats just a small part of it.
i have been through it all, every emotion you can think of, the suicidal thoughts the attempts, but time and people around you do help. i am 90% over her the 10% is because i do still love her and probably always will
i have the physical scars and few emotional scars but life does get better that i can promise.
but you must seek help from someone like mental health centre and your gp
i am single happy and waiting to find that special someone again, with all my past behind me
good luck for the future, dont waste your life there is plenty more fish in the sea | |
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| I want to die
Posted: 1/18/2006 4:47:06 PM | | Going through a breakup is VERY hard. One thing that always sticks in my mind is that "Things happen for a reason." Something better will come your way! Feeling lost right now, I know how you feel. Breakups do make us a stronger person, and help us realize what we will put up with and what we won't. Good things happen when you least expect it! Unfortunately, I need to be more patient and understand that. That's why I have backed off from dating for a while and just go with the flow. | |
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| I want to die
Posted: 1/18/2006 4:52:29 PM | This is a permenant solution to a temporary problem, amigo. I don't mean to marginalize her by infering she's a temporary problem, I understand she's special. But I implore you not to go through with this. You've got to move forward and embrace the beauty of life.
You've got to live for the people other than her. Your parents, your siblings, your relatives and your neighbors and friends still need you. And though Shannon has made her choice in mate, I'm certain she'd be absolutely broken if you decided to off yourself. I believe that this is the difference between people who are fatally hospitalized and fighting with all their strength to keep alive and someone who's taken life's blessings for granted and with no warning just kills himself one day.
Best of luck. I pray the Almighty steers you on to a different course. | |
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| I want to die
Posted: 1/18/2006 5:05:11 PM | At a Loss,,
Your nick fits. What you are experiencing is a loss. And how you feel is one of the stages. When I lost my husband after 23 years, I wanted to die too. It was the only way I knew of to cope with the grief. One of the stages of loss. I came very close, thought the same thoughts as you, and contiplated an end to the pain. Another stage of loss. I became very angry, at myself, at him. Another stage of loss. I denied I would ever be able to go on, couldn't believe this could happen to me One more stage of loss. Until after living in each and every day, sometimes could only bear the moment, I began to accept. Yet another stage of loss.
Moving on is precarious at best. You see the stages don't follow an order, and sometimes you can expereince one/some more than once. 11 years later, I have moved on. The old adage, '"time heals all wounds" is more than a cliche. But once in a while, when I least expect it, I expereince a stage in one of the biggest losses of my life. And I live in the day. I am grateful now for the expereince, as it has given me an insight I might not otherwise have. It part of what molds you, and makes you what you become in the future
Reach out Loss, much like your doing here. What saved me was realizing life is worth living, and having the courage to see it through.
Peace out,, | |
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| I want to die
Posted: 1/18/2006 5:28:22 PM | I can relate, BIG time, twice I've lost love And twice I've thought about the same thing. you know what.....IT'S A BAIL OUT!!!! Do you want to live the rest of your dead life in pergatory.....definatly not, it's worse than hell (bin there too, lol). the best way to snap out of it is to move on with a positive attitude, talk to friends, and show the love inside of you! It's amazing, it works! Before you know it, things just fall into your lap and things start looking alot brighter Take it from a guy that knows.... negative attitude attracts negative energy...POSITIVE attitude attracts just about anything, especialy positive energy,luck & love.
If you need to talk, Email me, DON"T bail.maybe I can help | |
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| I want to die
Posted: 1/18/2006 5:45:18 PM | | There is a right and a wrong way to love people. The wrong way is when you need them so much it would kill you to lose them. that kind of love drives people away, and leaves you in ruins. So if you notice yourself being unduly devastated in the silence after you drove someone off, take it as a sign you learned to love the wrong way. Go back to the school of love, learn how to do it correctly, and then you will be happy next time. Then you will want to live because life will be fun again. | |
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| I want to die
Posted: 1/18/2006 5:47:04 PM | I can relate, too, only in my case I was only 19, and it was the loss of someone who loved me as much as I loved him.(death) That makes it REALLY hard....after that, break ups were 'mind over matter'...I knew that if I made it through THAT loss, I could sure make it through the loss of someone who DIDN'T love me!!!
There will be others, OP, and they will be just as special...probably MORE so, because the feeling being mutual makes it all the better! | |
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| I want to die
Posted: 1/18/2006 5:54:31 PM | | I have had three relationships in my life were I felt like commiting suicide after women broke it off from me at the age of 42. I recommend talking with a friend or counseler a lot and working all the time would be a big help. The worst thing you can do is have time alone at home. This is were you will suffer the most, even cleaning up around the house will help. MAKE SURE YOU KEEP YOUR MIND OCCUPIED. Having said that, it still took about 2 years to get over it fully. But I look back on it now as ADDING to my life rather than subtracting from it. You can and will get better as long as you get over the hump(tough to do) and its hard to think this now but you will find someone at least as good as this one. Take care and stay busy. DJ | |
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| I want to die
Posted: 1/18/2006 5:55:20 PM | | you lost the love of your life and you want to kill yourself i think you need to remember what site you are on...Plenty of fish in the sea... | |
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| I want to die
Posted: 1/18/2006 5:59:51 PM | | Nicely put tetrahedron an inescapable truth. There are different kinds of love, like love of your family, your dog, your best friend, your girlfriend, your wife, your first grade teacher...all of them touch you inside, and all of them have their place but none of them should so completely own you that you lose yourself in the process. Its a recent discovery and Im sorta old for recent discoveries to tell the truth, so dont be too hard on yourself man, its life, its not checkers and sometimes it hits hard, but getting up again is the best thing to it, trust me....you stand a little taller and reach a little farther every time you get up. | |
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| I want to die
Posted: 1/18/2006 6:12:00 PM | AT A LOSS,
i TOO SUFFERED LOSING THE LOVE OF MY LIFE, BUT TO DEATH, NOT LEAVING.
it was this past summer, and i was in the lock down psche ward. I will tell you what saved me besides lots of therapy and meds, i realized i had no choice in the matter. If i killed myself, it would destroy my brother. I cant hurt my family. so i have had to live with this. it gets better. hey, if she was really the love of your life, then you would want her to be happy right? then get up dust yourself off, get drunk, and let your lady love be happy. i wish you all the strength, you have a lot of love to give the right woman. boy will she be lucky!! | |
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| I want to die
Posted: 1/18/2006 6:31:01 PM | Hello there little buckaroo;
I'd like to offer you a nugget or two of some hard earned wisdom. I'm not sure it will make you feel any better, because reality has a way of emulating sand in your bathing suit.
I want to die.
Tell you what, those words bug me. First some boring background, then my point.
I lived with the love of my life for a few years, we went through some times but it was a most joyous ride for the both of us.
She worked out a long, draining divorce, and finally a few months later we decided to get married.
I remember a night in April, few weeks after we were married, we watched a Simpson's episode dealing with a character's divoce.
After which, I held her, looked her in the eye and told her I was going to be the best husband she'd ever had.
6 weeks later, she was on her way to work when her car was rear-ended less than 10 minutes from home; car blew up, and she died from 4th degree burns over 90% of her body, and smoke inhalation - which meant she was most likely conscious during her passing.
Now I'd gladly have given my life for hers, no ifs and or buts.
To this day I'm still missing her like I can't even describe, but I've gotten this far by having belief in myself to make it through each and every day, and making joy come into my life by living it.
So I don't know if this would work for you, but it's most likely worth a shot. You have no choice in the matter but to see the sun in a rainy day, and to make your life better for you.
When I hear people say I want to die, it makes me wish i could trade them for Char, but that ain't gonna happen, and it's a selfish thought that I quickly extinguish.
It will get better, but you have to help. Time is now your friend, it will help heal wounds you never knew could hurt so.
Quit saying I want to die. That's weak.
I want to hear you say, I want to live!
And I want you to do it!
You know you can, maybe it helps to have someone point that out.
Hang in there...... | |
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| I want to die
Posted: 1/18/2006 6:42:57 PM | | My ex and I broke up 10 years ago . It was hard to take at first . BUT , I got through it . we are still freinds WHO talk . the first 3 months was hard for me . | |
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| I want to die
Posted: 1/18/2006 6:56:40 PM | My friend, you think you are in pain because Shannon married someone else.
Actually you are in pain because you have a story that reality should
be different than it is.
I know for myself the only way out of pain is to take responsibility for
my thoughts, most of which are untrue, and some downright insane.
I recommend that you investigate the philosophy of Byron Katie.
Your work can lead you out of pain and find yourself free of any controlling
thoughts you may have about Shannon.
Who is absolutely not the love of your life.
You, are the love of your life. Your lifelong romance is with you.
You don't need Shannon to love you. You need you to love you.
Please don't commit suicide. It won't solve anything. I won't lead to
character growth or give you anything you imagine you might want.
http://www.thework.com/index.asp
PS. I'm a psychic - I positively know that there is someone much better for you
to share your life with. Give yourself some time.
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| I want to die
Posted: 1/18/2006 8:06:24 PM | The compassion everybody is showing you should prove to you that you count and that you are special because that is the truth. Think of how you'd feel if someone close to you committed suicide and please realize that doing that just isn't the answer. You WILL feel better in time; I know it cuts like a knife right now, but trust me and everyone else. You will get over this. You will be better for it as that which doesn't kill us only makes us stronger.
If you want to, look at other threads in other areas on this site. There are absolutely hundreds of people going through the same thing that you are right now. You asked us for help which is exactly what we are all here for.
If these feelings persist, please ask your doctor for help. For more inspiration, please go to www.hendricks.com or www.selfgrowth.com. Both of these sites have lots of inspiring and helpful information and advice for you. By the way, any of you out there reading this who are looking for true love should check those sites out as well!! | |
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