| Being friends with an ex b/f or g/f. Is it a good idea?
Posted: 1/20/2006 2:54:23 PM |  I don't think it's a bad idea. I try to avoid trouble and issues with others though. I hate arguements too.
I am friends with 2 or 3 of my ex's. It's ok and we laugh at the past and get along great when we do talk, but hardly ever, but I would never go back. Seems friends is a better choice and if we get along better as friends then that's awesome. Some have been there for me when I am down or hurting and I am so thankful for their help.
I have no problem with ex's, but some I just could not be friends with due to arguements sometimes and they just used me for borrowing things and when they needed my help with things. I didn't need those kind of friends. I do love helping people, but sometimes others take advantage of it.
Sometimes being a friend to an ex just can cause problems, but if you get a long great as friends and can deal with diffrences eachother has, why not be friends?? I never had any problems.
Ahhh....I just have a big heart | |
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| Being friends with an ex b/f or g/f. Is it a good idea?
Posted: 1/20/2006 3:03:57 PM | I agree with ya there wolffe60.
I wouldn't hang around with them if I was in a relationship. Just would cause problems.
I don't hang out with mine that often, but we do chat once in awhile on the phone to see how things are, but other than that friends are good to have | |
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| Being friends with an ex b/f or g/f. Is it a good idea?
Posted: 1/20/2006 3:04:41 PM | I believe that, unless there are absolutely no romantic feeling on behalf of either party, it is possible to be friends. I think it's not possible right after a break up, because it's not usually the case that people break up and there are no hurt feelings. I've tried the friends thing, but usually only broken up with, and when I wanted to show them how great I still was so they could see how dumb they were to break up with me. Usually, if friendship is being maintained, it's because of guilt or wanting that person back. After probably 3-6 months, when feelings have deminished (sp??), then a friendship can be attempted.
It's difficult to think about them not being your friend, since so much has been shared between the two of you, but if things ended well, they usually don't end at all. I do know some people who are friends with ex's, but it's usually because the relationship fizzled out to a friendship before they ended their relationship. | |
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| Being friends with an ex b/f or g/f. Is it a good idea?
Posted: 1/20/2006 3:11:14 PM | | Hey try killin them with kindness. Can't hurt and you get to keep a friend that you once thought you couldn't live without. Been left at the curb a few times and later they've said "what was I thinking back then?" All is well in the end. | |
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| Being friends with an ex b/f or g/f. Is it a good idea?
Posted: 1/20/2006 3:58:01 PM | | well, I have a few ex's, but only 3 that I still have a relationship with. My first ex and I get along and will always have a relationship because no matter what happens in our personal lives, he is and always will be the father of my children and now the grandfather of my grandchildren. Better for all family members if we can still get along and be civil to each other at family functions and when kids draw us together for one reason or another. | |
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| Being friends with an ex b/f or g/f. Is it a good idea?
Posted: 1/20/2006 4:24:48 PM | | Kudos Bayer girl....you need time and space.....someone does get hurt....and to go from relationship to great friends overnight well sometimes thats too large a task right away....also depends upon length of relationship....a shorter relationship I think you might have an easier time of it...but a longer 1 needs longer time to adjust..The love has to change to I love you but I am not in love with you....the rules change ,the borders need defining....and motives need to be looked at I agree.....But if people can do it good on them.....I know from experience the concept is great but its need time and space and alot of understanding and patience..healing hearts hurt | |
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| Being friends with an ex b/f or g/f. Is it a good idea?
Posted: 1/20/2006 4:25:27 PM | | One of my best friends just happen to be someone I dated for over 2 years. We talk all the time and I know her current boyfriend and hes got no problem with our friendship. its only a matter of trust, do we trust ourselves first and the others or no? | |
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| Being friends with an ex b/f or g/f. Is it a good idea?
Posted: 1/20/2006 4:40:37 PM | One of my best male friends is my ex husband. We actually just finished going to see UnderWorld 2 this afternoon. We shop together and joke around together. there is no longer any romantic feelings. As many divorced couples we argue about kid things and have moved on from eachother.
Sometimes ex's make better friends then they did lovers. AS long as You and Your Ex found you can maintain a friendship outside the bounds of being a romantic couple go for it | |
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| Being friends with an ex b/f or g/f. Is it a good idea?
Posted: 1/20/2006 6:00:29 PM | If you can stay friends with people from past relationships that shows alot of maturity and sanity. Being able to let go , move on and not hate takes alot of courage!!
In the end all that matters is
How well did you live
How well did you love
And how well did you learn to let go | |
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| Being friends with an ex b/f or g/f. Is it a good idea?
Posted: 1/20/2006 6:05:46 PM | maturity and sanity are the keywords to any kind of relationship.
Can you imagin reacting the same way to everything you face in life? I know if I do that I would either be dead or in jail for killing that gramma who decided to go on her bike durring rush hour with a flat tire :-) | |
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| Being friends with an ex b/f or g/f. Is it a good idea?
Posted: 1/20/2006 6:19:21 PM | its hard to tell what anyone is or how they are saying things from writings in these posts. People get misunderstood and probaly aren't who they would be in person. Not surprised but strangely a warm feel went through me!! | |
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| Being friends with an ex b/f or g/f. Is it a good idea?
Posted: 1/20/2006 8:36:55 PM | | It can be a good idea. I'm friendly with my first wife and as Oops said, we are parents of the same child(ren). I never see my second wife and I have a friendship with the woman I was in a long term relationship with. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. | |
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| Being friends with an ex b/f or g/f. Is it a good idea?
Posted: 1/21/2006 7:04:30 AM | I was married twice. I never see my first husband, but my second husband and I are very good friends, and we still talk on daily basis, since I am very often out of town and we do have kids together, all over 18 but still...I do appriciate the update from the third party...  | |
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| Being friends with an ex b/f or g/f. Is it a good idea?
Posted: 1/21/2006 2:03:28 PM | Some of my very best friends are men who I have dated or been relationships with that did not work out.
It does take a lot of maturity though to realize that just because "you don't belong together" doesn't mean you don't care about each other as people, and haven't cared about each other as people for a very long time.
Why should that go away? There is a bond there, outside of the "intimate love" that is pretty strong and it is a shame that so many people walk away from it. You know that person better than a lot of other people know them. You can support them in ways no one else can.
But it does take a lot of maturity and willingness to do so. | |
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| Being friends with an ex b/f or g/f. Is it a good idea?
Posted: 1/23/2006 12:35:11 AM | I agree with Shy Eyes.
What ever it was that attracted you to date the person in the first place should still be there. unless the break was a bad one, why can't you be friends with him / her?
I have several friends that started as ladies I had dated. They are really wonderful women and I'm lucky to have them for friends.
I have never understood why things change so much between some couples during a break up. So it didn't didn't work out. Get over it and you and your ex partner move on with your life. If there is some horrible incident that caused all the trouble then try forgive, if you can't then leave that person behind.
We have one life to live and I don't want to spend mine hating someone or "Stuck" in the past doing what ifs that will never happen.
For the record. I still talk to my high school sweethart at least once a year we touch bases and see how each other is doing. That is from about 28 years ago.
So yeah, I think it can be done to be freinds after a break up. Depending on who you are and the circumstances of the break up. | |
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| Being friends with an ex b/f or g/f. Is it a good idea?
Posted: 1/23/2006 7:20:27 AM | I think that anytime you can salvage a friendship out of a failed relationship, it's a good thing!
I know I had a 13 year friendship end because of a failed relationship. It would have been nice to keep her as a friend, but....
It also says something about the relationship if you can remain friends after! | |
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| Being friends with an ex b/f or g/f. Is it a good idea?
Posted: 1/23/2006 8:02:29 AM | This is just my opinion!! It appears to differ from most other posts on the subject, but hey, no one on the face of the earth has to agree with me. (This post is not directed at anyone in particular...talking to the 'you' of cyber land 
To me, being 'friends' with someone implies communication and the continuation of some sort of relationship. A 'friendship requires commitment and effort, and when a romantic relationship ends it isn't always possible to maintain a friendship. Sometimes over means just that...over. 
While I use the term 'friend' to describe most of my ex's it generally is just a term. I generally do not go out of my way to maintain contact with them aside from the occasional email, with the exception of my ex-husband and another 'friend' with whom there are ambiguous feelings. Once the relationship is over, I personally feel it is best to move on to avoid confused feelings or mixed messages. I honestly don't know of many people who want to be 'kept around' as 'friends'...especially if they were not the person to end the relationship.  In my experience, new boyfriends simply do not appreciate old ex-boyfriends hanging around as 'friends'...so why jeopardise a fresh start to hang onto the past...If the relationship was that good we would still be together..
As previously mentioned in another post, it is best not to burn bridges...it can be good to keep ex's as arms length friendly acquaintances...as you can never have too many 'friends'...and as long as you are honest with yourself about why you are hanging onto the relationship
Once again, this is just my own opinion derived from my own experiences...we are all different and that is what makes the world go round!  | |
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