| When a woman cries, how often is it emotional blackmail?
Posted: 1/20/2006 3:47:44 PM | Now before any of the women get upset and start throwing things at me, think about it. Many times in the past when I've had a disagreement with a partner, not that I have always been right, just the times I had a valid point. Seems that the last resort was for her to cry. Thats a knockout punch for lots of guys, usually myself included. Am I wrong on this one?
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AI03™
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Joined: 5/3/2005
Msg: 2 | |
| When a woman cries, how often is it emotional blackmail?
Posted: 1/20/2006 3:56:19 PM | Ummm... much as I'd like to... I can't control my crying.. Being somewhat of an emotional person by nature, some things tend to hurt me that may not hurt others in the same way. Takes a lot for me to really "cry" over something and him having a "valid" point, is hardly one of them. but, oddly, I do remember one time when I said something quite mean to my then SO, and he actually kinda shed a few tears, and I felt as low as low could be, couldn't beleive I hurt him that way, and have never to this day forgotten how I made him feel. And learned from it. He, tho, never seemed to have a problem hurling things at me and then making fun of me crying. I hate mean people. Plain and simple. Do some women use it as a form of blackmail? I don't doubt it. Which sucks, of course, cuz then men think WE all cry for that reason. Hopefully, they can see we are all individuals like they are and judge us each accordingly. That's my view.  | |
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| When a woman cries, how often is it emotional blackmail?
Posted: 1/20/2006 4:11:32 PM | | I once started a thread in here about a girl robbing me. When she KNEW she was busted, she finally started crying and asked for forgiveness..Otherwise, can't think of any women that have tried to cry their way out of anything. Also, though a woman and I may argue a point, it's always kept on a civil level, thereby not requiring any shed tears..Crying will not work against my conscience. | |
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| When a woman cries, how often is it emotional blackmail?
Posted: 1/20/2006 4:26:04 PM | Okay, I admit it...I did it once (kinda). It wasn't to "blackmail" though. That was not my motivation. I just couldn't handle the fight anymore and felt so defeated. I started crying. I wasn't that upset, I was more pisssed off that I was losing the arguement. How's that for honesty? haha. That was also long ago.
Now if it were to happen today, I might start crying because I am genuinely upset. I am very sensitive and cry easily. They are honest tears. If he's right, he's right. I most likely will cry but acknowledge that he had a point. (Even if it's only a once a year event)!
~RF~ | |
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| When a woman cries, how often is it emotional blackmail?
Posted: 1/20/2006 4:36:39 PM | | sure I hear all of u but in many cases crying is a sign of frustration and I got to say guy hello how many times do you put ya woman in that situation....hmmmm think about it...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.....its only emotional blackmail guys if you let it be...lol...got to wonder than is it ya guilt that makes ya feel this way..lol | |
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| When a woman cries, how often is it emotional blackmail?
Posted: 1/20/2006 4:37:22 PM | Honestly, I don't remember ever crying as a form of emotional blackmail.
If I'm crying and it's not because I'm sad, whoever is at the source of my tears better be standing back, cause it's because I'm so pissed off that I cry. When I get to THAT point of angry instead of yelling or hollerin', I break down in tears. I know, sissy me!! | |
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| When a woman cries, how often is it emotional blackmail?
Posted: 1/20/2006 4:47:21 PM | | It depends on the person. I once had to fire a woman, who, when confronted with the bad news, turned on the tears real hard. She honestly came across to me as a crier - one who turns on the tears to get her way. Sounds cold, but I honestly believe she has been programmed to cry since she was a child. | |
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| When a woman cries, how often is it emotional blackmail?
Posted: 1/20/2006 4:50:12 PM | | I wouldn't even consider blackmail of any sort! I'm way past 16, geez, actually didn't do it then either. I am in control of my emotions, they don't control me and I expect the same out of any man I'm involved with. The man I'm with now I have great communication with and if we're tired or frustrated, we give each other space and talk later. I have no need or desire to blackmail him or anyone else. You either care about someone's feelings or you don't. If you keep communication open and honest, it takes care of a lot of misunderstandings. Either you can deal with a situation and work it out or you decide to go your separate ways. | |
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| When a woman cries, how often is it emotional blackmail?
Posted: 1/20/2006 4:54:05 PM | Well first off I have to say that I am fairly confident that some women use tears as a form of manipulation, the same way some use sex etc. You can never generalize any character trait to being one of gender bias.
That being said, I can relate Ainsel to your comment. I learned several years ago the reason I cry when I am angry (because I do). It stems from way back when I was a child and of course the societal and family shame placed upon a girl being angry. Girls don't get angry, that is not very lady like etc. So, we learned to suppress our anger. How does that suppressed anger erupt? Well it leaks out in the way of tears. Why you might ask? Well because amazingly, it was apropriate and lady like for a girl to cry. That was acceptable behaviour. Now of course, that is the readers digest, non clinical explanation, but you get the idea (I am hoping).
So, if I were to erupt into tears in the course of an arguement (can't remember the last time I argued about anything) you could suffice it to say that I was really angry. I cannot help the waterworks when I am some choked. Intentionally evoke the tears? Not in this lifetime! | |
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| When a woman cries, how often is it emotional blackmail?
Posted: 1/20/2006 5:00:29 PM | | It can be done as a deceptive way to manipulate you, but if you're like me it wouldn't work. I don't respond to adults crying the same was as when children cry. If a woman is upset and she cries, I figure she needs a few minutes to cry, so I just wait. Then she will either want to keep talking, or the conversation will be over. If she was hoping for me to change my mind and give in because she cried, well, that's something else she can cry about when I don't. | |
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| When a woman cries, how often is it emotional blackmail?
Posted: 1/20/2006 5:59:19 PM | | Not really...when I cry it's bc I feel so hopeless and defeated. I don't cry easily...it takes a lot to make me cry. But when I do cry, it's bc I have lost all energy to fight any further and I get frustrated....tears of frustration...not bc I want you to give in. | |
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| When a woman cries, how often is it emotional blackmail?
Posted: 1/20/2006 6:02:59 PM | | Blackmail? are you nutty are something. If I cry there is a reason, and if I am mad and cry you better run. (Best leave me alone if that happens, until its out of my system, where I can be normal again.) | |
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| When a woman cries, how often is it emotional blackmail?
Posted: 1/20/2006 6:06:09 PM | | It can be real and emotions or it can be fake to get what they want.. We guys will never know... I've given up to figure out women a long time ago... They are just completely different creatures and it doesn't make sense trying to figure them out! | |
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| When a woman cries, how often is it emotional blackmail?
Posted: 1/20/2006 6:11:29 PM | I can't cry just like that..there has to be a darn good reason..
to cry in the middle of a heated argument to win? Naw I'm to damn mad to cry..and I normally win .. no need to bring on tears to get my way.. | |
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| When a woman cries, how often is it emotional blackmail?
Posted: 1/20/2006 6:11:34 PM | Well, anyone can cry, for any number of reasons. I mean, good god, if someone cries over losing their parent, I dont think that is emotional blackmail, thats just natural.
But what you mean is someone who breaks down, crys, or in some other way goes into hysterics over small things. It happens alot and the only way to make it stop is to refuse to react to it. People like that, male and female, are doing it because they WANT you to react. They want you on the defensive. They want you weakened by what they are doing.
The key to this is to remain strong yourself. Dont let the tactic work. You know when its emotional blackmail and when it is legit. Use your head. If they are screwed up, dont get yourself screwed up with them because you decide to react to what they are doing. Simply tell them that you cannot talk to them about the issue while they are in hysterics, then go and do your own thing. They will most likely become even MORE insane at that point, with all kinds of things coming out of their mouth about how you dont care (by the way, to this, you simply tell them that you care enough to communicate without yelling or crying). At any rate, even if they stay messed up, or jump out of a window, or do whatever crazy thing they say they are going to do, you can still feel confident that you gave them their opportunity to speak rationally with you but they would not take it. | |
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| When a woman cries, how often is it emotional blackmail?
Posted: 1/20/2006 6:31:41 PM | I never could understand how actors can turn on the tears but I know they do. All I can say from my own experience is that I cry when something touches me....makes me sad....even sometimes when I so darn happy I can't stand it.
In my last relationship, the guy I was with went completely hard as soon as I cried....I didnt understand it at first but he eventually told me that his exwife had used it and he felt like a puppet on a string when she did it. Mind you she seemed to thrive on arguing because she liked to make up when she was angry. That is so the opposite of me.....But of course, we are the sum of our experience and he thought I was like his exwife.
All I will say about the opening post is.....it depends on the person. And it depends on how the person who is with them handles it. | |
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| When a woman cries, how often is it emotional blackmail?
Posted: 1/20/2006 6:36:04 PM |  I cant believe you asked such a question Im so kidding right now:)LOL.. No Ive never cried as a form of emotional blackmail.Id rather talk things out like mature adults.I have cried in front of someone when I was profoundly sad,but never used it as a manipulative tool. | |
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