| Nice Guys Finish....FIRST!!!
Posted: 1/27/2006 12:32:46 AM | | You know the old saying "NICE GUYS FINISH LAST". That's a load of *ullshit & all of you know it.If the world didn't have nice guys,then you wouldn't have no one to depend on.You would constanclly get verbal abuse & maybe physical abuse.Alot of nice guys will love a girl no matter how much pain their in or trying to get over.Till next time,be nice not mean. Peace Out:Yours Truely JPA1983 | |
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| Nice Guys Finish....FIRST!!!
Posted: 2/7/2006 5:49:00 AM | For some reason, the "nice guys" always end up being the "really good friend" and rarely the love interest. At least that is what I've found in my experience.
I've been in relationships that seemed perfect and everything was going fine. The woman ends up wanting to end it with me because of some reason she can't really explain. Then the next time I hear from her she is with some guy that is a "rebel without a clue" and doesn't treat her right or care that much about her.
It seems like a lot of women are attracted to that "bad boy" type of personality and that is just how it is... it's in the genes.
I've had a few relationships end because it was just "too right"... it is like they couldn't really find a reason not to keep it going so THAT must have been the problem, they sabotage the relationship before it goes farther. Like they are afraid to love and commit to someone that is finally right for them and treats them well.
Bryan | |
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| Nice Guys Finish....FIRST!!!
Posted: 2/7/2006 9:26:03 AM | Welcome Wiles
It seems that you are the one feeling it was right for her but only she knows if it's right. If she ended it, aparently it wasn't right to her. | |
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| Nice Guys Finish....FIRST!!!
Posted: 7/4/2006 10:39:13 AM | However bad she/they were being treated what the guy did at somepoint was to make her feel attraction NOT affection. Affection = good friend , Attraction = excitement, chemistry, magnetism, electricity, sparks, dynamic passion and intense feelings of wanting someone or wanting to be connected to them. "Nice guys" aren't usually charismatic leaders either. Nice guys stay off of 'delicate subjects that might create controversy and may not go well in a date situation or against public appeal. Bad boys say what they want and are comfortable with that since they know they will 'get laid' soon enough. So they dont care. the nice guy tries to avoid those situations so he wont ruin his chance of becoming intimate with the woman he is with. That in difference is partly why they get so lucky to get the really great girls. Anbnd since so many are after him it doesnt matter which one to him , just that it is one. The nice guy seems nervous in a one on one conversation and she picks up on this in an instant. give off enough of that and she is gone. They see the ones that are calm, confident and out going as strrengths. Who doesnt want to be associated with people of strong character ?
Maybe my take on it is wrong. But that is what I have noticed in my experience. You can still be a decent guy and start to show the wqualities that attract people ( women) to you. It takes breaking out of that mold you have formed yourelf into in the last several years. Go back to being 9-12 years old, Just for a minute. We were almost mean to the girls then. somehow they ate it up when we teased them, They all seemed to like that sweet charming guy that played dolls with them and did the nice sweet stuff that was all girly and pathetic to the rest of us. So now later in life we think that must have been what it was they wanted was a best friend. Nope ! wrong what theyu want now is that guy that can tease them make them feel like a school girl again and be someone that they cant stop thinking about. Pull back a bit and dont act quite so much like you need their attention and she might begin to volunteer it more easily , Let her be the one that seeks the approval from you. Slow down how often you bend to what you think she wants. They get used to you going out of your way to be their best friend and begin to take advantage of that.
Maybe that will help explain it , or how I see it, that they become users and bored because WE let them. Thats my take on it Make em feel like a school girl occasionally and your results will change in your favor.
Cheers ! | |
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| Nice Guys Finish....FIRST!!!
Posted: 7/17/2006 3:08:00 PM | | I would have to agree with both Wiles and Calm. You guys bring up good points. I've even made an experiment in one of my college classes about what women want. It's sad to say that most women (18 out of 25 ages 20-30) prefer the "bad boy types" because they say that they are more exciting and they keep the juices flowing and some of it is inner parental rebellion, meaning their parents want them to be with good men and most women do not like to be told what to do unless of course it is by the "bad boy type." Which is ironically funny. Women prefer to have their cake and eat it too meaning they want both the "bad boy types" for intimacy and sex and the "good boy types" for friendship and support. What many of them do not realize is that the "good boy type" can supply both but many of them do not want the "good guy type" to think that they are easy or slutty hence they hide that part from the "good guy type" and something that may surprise you is that overall women think about sex more than men do. I've actually studied this stuff for 2 full years because I was hurt relationship after relationship and dumped time after time because I wasn't bad enough and every woman never wanted to admit that all she wanted was excitement and sex. I would always get dumped for the "bad boy type" and after he treated her like crap and cheated on her or whatever way he mistreated her they always came running back head first and although this is not a "good guy type" thing I would laugh at them and rub it in their face hopefully that will teach them that "good guy types" are the way to go. So in conclusion I would have to say "good guys do finish last.... If they finish at all." | |
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| Nice Guys Finish....FIRST!!!
Posted: 7/24/2006 12:54:18 PM | | Hey folks....I'd like to think that a 'nice guy' would finish first with me. But, unfortunately, I have YET to meet one. I've been abused in past relationships, and I'm stronger for it. But, you can count on the fact that it is FAR from what I am looking for. People are either going to like you or not, and it's their problem not yours. And for all these people that say its the inside that counts...I'd like to believe that they truely feel that way. But, from what I have seen its not true. I've not been beaten by the ugly tree (at least I don't think so), I'm loving and compassionate, fun to be around, and SINGLE. I'm not a small girl, but I'm not grossly overweight either. Seems to me that guys close to my age are still stuck on that skinny girl thing...must-have-anorexic-girl syndrome. There is nothing with being skinny, just as there is nothing wrong with being volumptous. OH, and I have kids. So lets see...guys, would you date a curvy single mom of two who works her ass off to take care of her kids? Oh yeah, and who is Christian and doesn't believe in sex outside of marriage? I'd like to hear from y'all either way...it would be interesting to know how you all feel.... | |
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| Nice Guys Finish....FIRST!!!
Posted: 7/28/2006 7:23:04 AM | | Hi there cuteblueeyedmedic. I understand how you feel. It seems these days there are so many jerks and bad guys out there that it is virtually impossible to find a truly nice guy out there, but they are there it just is getting to be more few and far between. I can say that I'm a nice guy tell I'm blue in the face, but you and others will ultimately be the judge of that and I certainly want to PROVE it too, I just wish I could be given the chance more. My friends and the people I work with know I'm a good guy and are surprised that I'm still single/haven't found anyone yet. I really want to be with someone so much, but I also don't want to be with the wrong person and then really be miserable. I've checked out your profile and you seem like a very great gal to be around. I think your pretty, ambitious, loving, fun to be around, and goal oriented and anyone who doesn't see that of you is their loss. It's hard to have hope these days that there is someone good out there for us. Believe me, these last few days have been even harder for me considering I've found out the only gal I've ever fallen in love with is getting married in October and a good cousin of mine is also getting married that month in the city that the other gal I fell in love with is originally from and so it makes me feel like I'm getting left behind. Nevertheless I'm still trying to have some hope that there is someone out there for me and it it kind of encouraging me to really start looking hard again. | |
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| Nice Guys Finish....FIRST!!!
Posted: 3/20/2007 4:26:46 PM | Well, I must say... I'm one of those nice guys that ALWAYS finishes last. I have always attracted the woman that seem to think it is okay to continually sleep with other men while I take care of all the bills and their kids. It doesn't seem to matter how wonderful of a woman they seem to be, the nice guys are always taken up by the woman that are looking for someone to use, abuse, and walk all over. I've always been very trusting, and have always done everything in my power to treat the woman I'm with like a queen. Yet, I cant seem to find a woman that actually gives a sh*t about that. They've all wanted the nice guy to pay the bills and work hard, while they sit on there butt online and line up people to sleep with. I've often wondered what could be wrong with me. I've always been told that I'm the sh*t in bed, yet it never seems to matter. I've learned that no matter hard you try, and how much you do for a woman, if you keep getting the bad apples, they are going to rot... it's just life.
I wish I could find a woman that truely wanted a man that could give her all the love she ever wanted, and to give total trust, both ways. That would be wonderful. But unfortunately, most of us nice guys that actually are not faking it... get crushed so hard, so many times, we just kinda hide in our shells and quit talking to woman because we think that this one is the next user and heart crusher.
So you wonder, is there any nice guys left? Your damn right there is, they're just hiding because they're nursing their broken, destroyed hearts, and tired of being abused and taken advantage of.
You truely nice guys out there know EXACTLY what I'm talking about! Because every damn one of us, get the same treatment in one form or another. | |
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| Nice Guys Finish....FIRST!!!
Posted: 5/7/2007 6:01:40 AM | | I'm nice and i finish last. Actually, I haven't even finished yet. A lot of women always say that i should have people all over me. If thats the case why don't they ever go on a date with me? | |
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| Nice Guys Finish....FIRST!!!
Posted: 5/7/2007 10:15:24 AM | | lol brett... boy that's the cliche isn't it? I usually become mean after that, cause that's pretty much just an insult if you ask me. | |
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| Nice Guys Finish....FIRST!!!
Posted: 5/7/2007 8:02:03 PM | | I just about hate this scene. I got this friend at work who doesn't even care about dating. He said he hates women. Expects the worse when he see's one. I can't wait until I feel that way so I can just cut myself off. Just like the good old days in high school when you don't care enough to ask a girl out. | |
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| Nice Guys Finish....FIRST!!!
Posted: 5/8/2007 4:49:32 PM | | Yeah... but I betcha he gets all the girls cause of that attitude. Been there, done that, it works. | |
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| Nice Guys Finish....FIRST!!!
Posted: 5/9/2007 5:10:18 PM | | heh. i don't think he has much of a personal life. on his friday and saturday nights he stays late at work, works on the systems, and drinks. we got a fridge in the back full of beer that he drinks after the shop closes. he already has something that makes him happy lol | |
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| Nice Guys Finish....FIRST!!!
Posted: 5/23/2007 6:07:37 PM | Well, I'd like to say that I am one of those women that's looking for a "NICE GUY". I have yet to find one, either. I do feel that nice girls get treated the same way...well by most men. I believe that there has to be some physical attraction as well. Don't get me wrong, I'm really not superficial per se. You don't have to look like Brad Pitt to get my attention.
For you men who think women only want "bad boys", you just haven't found the right woman. Keep looking. We're out there waiting to meet someone like you. | |
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| Nice Guys Finish....FIRST!!!
Posted: 7/30/2007 12:19:31 PM | > Nice guys should ALWAYS let the lady finish first!!!!!
Well... not *always*. Hey, there is something to be said for being selfish. I think most women like their guy to have his way with her at least some of the time. Hehehe. | |
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| Nice Guys Finish....FIRST!!!
Posted: 7/31/2007 4:35:16 AM |
Nice guys should ALWAYS let the lady finish first!!!!!
That's all well and good assuming the Lady allows the nice guy to even start in the first place.  | |
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| Nice Guys Finish....FIRST!!!
Posted: 9/23/2007 9:33:04 AM | | The reason you have not met one is you are lookng at the wrong age group. People ovEr The years have lost respect for everything. You need to expand your age limits upward. | |
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| Nice Guys Finish....FIRST!!!
Posted: 11/17/2007 7:16:58 AM | Not exactly. I have been honest, respectful, generous, and STUPID. Woman live in a two dimensional world and most guys do not. If the pic don't fit don't expect a reply. News flash!!! George, Brad, & Kevin DON'T live in KC. I won't be answering emails until after the holidays because I am tired of the rejections. There must be someone that doesn't play games?
John | |
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| Nice Guys Finish....FIRST!!!
Posted: 11/25/2007 1:48:26 AM | | A piece of advice for any woman who is looking for a nice guy. Most of you know a guy that likes you but is too afraid to make a move. Maybe he has and you think you would be better off being friends. That is the nice guy you've been looking for. The problem with us nice guys is we're often too nice to make a move. Nice guys don't take the initiative; nice guys are not aggressive. Women are attracted to confidence and nice guys rarely have that quality. When I was younger and idealistic, I used to think that being the "shoulder to cry on" would eventually put me in a position to be the boyfriend. Ladies, if you know a guy who listens to you complain about how your boyfriend treats you like dirt, that is the guy for you. The definiton of insanity is... | |
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| Nice Guys Finish....FIRST!!!
Posted: 4/8/2008 10:37:00 PM | re: Well, I'd like to say that I am one of those women that's looking for a "NICE GUY". I have yet to find one, either. I do feel that nice girls get treated the same way...well by most men. I believe that there has to be some physical attraction as well. Don't get me wrong, I'm really not superficial per se. You don't have to look like Brad Pitt to get my attention.
For you men who think women only want "bad boys", you just haven't found the right woman. Keep looking. We're out there waiting to meet someone like you.
AMEN.!!!!..... I finally found mine. Good Luck whatsername1971
and as for the one who said Good Guys let the girl finish first.!!!!!
Yeppers &
WOW.... what that does for a womans mood. I got sooooo happy.
The Guy whose shoulder I cried on...The one who was my friend first....became the one.
So, for the guy who said that...
Good Advice...!!!!
Look at those fellows ...give them another look and yet another until you see them.
Then those "bad boys" don't have a chance cause your hooked on the good stuff. | |
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| Nice Guys Finish....FIRST!!!
Posted: 5/11/2008 2:28:46 AM | Would you like to know why women sometimes seem drawn to that bad boy type, it actually goes a lot deeper than most people have thought or have even tried to understand? Being nice and being a "nice guy" or a "nice and needy guy" the ones who strive to please and give her what she wants, are two different things. You want to focus on your natural biological alpha characteristics and not so much on your lifetime of social conditioning and logical thinking. She does not sabotage anything she just no longer feels that gut level heart pounding sinking feeling of attraction so she seeks it else where. She wants to be with someone and commit and to be treated right on the surface in a logical sense but once gut level attraction hits her all logic goes out the window. Now I can get in to this more in depth just not right now but the bottom line you want to know the secret of "bad boys" and why she will leave a gut who is stable in every way treats her like a Queen, and is way more intelligent than who she leaves him for is that he knows how to create those feelings inside her. You don't have to be a bad boy but take on the role of an alpha male who is the leader of his tribe and she will be even more happy because she will have the best of both worlds and if you have any questions on how to get there feel free to ask and that goes for whoever might be struggling in this area of their life. Thanks.
Eros | |
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| Nice Guys Finish....FIRST!!!
Posted: 5/27/2008 2:32:44 AM | WELL NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED.
GIRLS LIKE THE BAD BOYS,
MOSTLY, BECAUSE THAY CANNOT HAVE THEM
EVERYBODY WANTS THE THINGS IN LIFE THEY CANNOT HAVE.
GROW UP SOMETIME, AND REALIZE, IS THIS WHAT
I REALLY WANT, OR DO I WANT IT BECAUSE,
I CAN'T HAVE IT,
GROW UP LADIES, THE GOOD GUYS FIND OUT YOU
LIKE TO PLAY GAMES.
WE DON'T HAVE THE TIME OR PATIENCE, FOR
ANY OF THAT CRAP.
GAMES ARE FOR KIDS,
DFIREGUY | |
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| Nice Guys Finish....FIRST!!!
Posted: 5/31/2008 3:57:55 PM | well this nice guy has gone bad ,lol Im going to spend the rest of my life being a arsehole , at least it will be fun , should of done this years ago  | |
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| Nice Guys Finish....FIRST!!!
Posted: 9/3/2008 11:28:26 PM | I think it all has to do with the definitions. Such a short sentence/thought, but such diverse concepts.
"Nice:"
Women: Is your definition of nice 'the guy who opens doors'?
Men: Does your definition include calling before you said you would?
Is "nice" just being dressed neatly and appropriately, or is it being able to look a woman and yourelf in the eye and know that you will never (NOT EVER) deliberately behave, speak, or act in any way that would cause harm to another person's dreams, hopes, fears, and desires? I think truth comes in to play here. Know this: honesty is telling the truth to others; integrity is telling the truth to yourself.
"Guy[s]:"
Women: Is a guy just a person with plumbing that you like and a lifestyle you find desireable? Or is he a partner, fully capable of complete and intact thought patterns that you are willing to appreciate, even though they are foreign to yours?
Men: Is a guy the great fellow you love to have a beer and a laugh with because he is real in ways you recognize and are comfortable with? Or is he some other "I can't ever be as as he is" kind of person that always seems to be a lap ahead, a dollar deeper in the checkbook, or a leg up on anyone you want to ask to dance?
Never forget--or ignore--the fact that men are hardwired to be good, chivalrous, strong, and capable, and at the same time rough, harsh, hard-hearted, and aloof. The same hormone that drives libido and attraction drives anger and violence. Think: "I'm Still A Guy" by Brad Paisley, and remember male deer beating themselve literally to death, just of a piece of doe.
"Finish:"
Women and Men: Where/when does "finish" occur?
Have you ever noticed that women who marry the ambitious, hard-working go-getter will later divorce the workaholic? Or that the men who marry the perfectly dressed and made up hottie will later divorce the high-maintenance diva? At what point did "Wow!" change to "Finished"?
"First/Last:"
Women and Men: In whose eyes is he first? or last? Yours? His? God's?
For the women: Did he go from 'great possibility' to 'kick him to the curb' because he is a great kisser, but doesn't seem to want to hear about yet another room redecoration story or GNO event? For the men: Did you get booted because you did what you knew was right in your heart for both of you, even if she didn't agree?
For both: I would offer for consideration that in both the above cases the guy finished first and last, depending on whose perspective (definition) you use.
I guess all I'm saying is that "nice" "guy" "finish" and "first/last" all depend on who is telling the story and on what definitions the teller is using. I know I always finish first, because I strive to always be an honorable man who acts with integrity, consideration, and passion. But I know I have finished dead last in way too many relationships, for whatever reasons a woman has decided I am not her prize fish. [shrug]
Hope I didn't bore you all too much with my longwinded 2-cents worth.
-tom, knowing that is why they call it fishing and not catching | |
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