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dlwb
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Joined: 8/6/2005
Msg: 2 | |
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| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 2/2/2006 6:23:21 PM | I live with my parents and i'm 35...
6 years ago.. I brought a 2 family house with them.. as they are in there 70's and getting older and I am the mother of their only grandchild.. I also made a consious decision to take care of them as they age..
so.. it depends on the situation.. I would date someone that lived with their parents or not..
I've actuallly spoken to people who live with their parents and wouldn't date me because I didn't have my own place.. what I rarely tell people is that I do have my own appartment.. if they live with their parents and can't date someone who doesn't have their own place.. then i'm not the one for them.. cause I hate double standards. | |
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| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 2/2/2006 6:35:57 PM | Karmakid.. what you have to remember as you age.. the roles sort of change..
I have become the main bread winner and supporter in my family...I pay most of the bills.. as my parents are now on SS... yup growing up I could have probably lived with them forever and not paid a cent.. they've help me out of a lot of holes.. and have always been there for me.. which is one of the main reasons that I am doing for them now without even considering it or putting much thought into it..
so keep that in mind.. as your parents age.. make sure your there for them when they need you  | |
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| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 2/2/2006 6:55:54 PM | Who cares what others think. When my parents split up we came to Ottawa and lived with my great-grandmother. We were back and forth to her place for a number of years before my mother was back on her feet. A good family takes care of each other, not matter what.
Is the person you want to date worth it?
Do you have "alone time"?
Do you understand the entire situation?
As others have said it all depends on why people are at home, but it should not be an issue. If it is one now will it always be? | |
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| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 2/2/2006 7:01:22 PM | It depends.........
-If living at home going to college.... the age range can be higher...
-If out of college and still living at home.... at 22 just living off the parents.... BADDDD sign!
I dated someone that was much older that moved back home to go to a tradeschool.....
he had lived on his own before (which is VERY important!)
It totally depends on the situation | |
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| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 2/2/2006 7:08:47 PM | he had lived on his own before (which is VERY important!)
very true coastergal... when I divorced my husband at the age of 26 my father drove up to my appartment with a truck to bring me home..cause in latino household a woman doesn't live alone.. imagine his shock when I refused to move in with them...
living alone was the best thing I did.. taught me responsiblity.. and I learned to appreciate my parents more... later.. when I decided to buy I house..I figured.. there is no way in heck i'm putting them in a home as they age.. so we purchased a 2 family.. actually thought it would be hard.. fortunately its turned out great..
but living alone is very important.. teaches independence. | |
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| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 2/2/2006 7:08:48 PM | | My best friend lives at home and she is 30 in July. Her and her parents are very close and they like having her around. She is not a leech and a mooch and she is still going to school. Unless they are your kids, it is really no ones business anyway and too assume that someone is ****ed up just because they are close with their family is pretty ignorant. | |
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| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 2/2/2006 7:10:54 PM | Well.....Id like to respond if I may. I am 27 and I live with my mother and sister. I was married , moved to COLORADO with wife 8 mths later she wants divorce and commits adultery. I move back here , to WA and move in with my dad for a couple months and then moved in with a buddy in his house to help him out financialy then i moved in with my mother to help her financialy being how she is a recovering alcoholic and cant work she would have no one to help her if i dint move in. So a little TMI for ya but I believe it depends on circumstances very much, but if you are at home and is very capable of having your own place i think the person should move out because you cant grow if your not changing and you cant really build character still living at home with parents........in so many words -JJ | |
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| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 2/2/2006 7:14:11 PM | Well, this is what I told my children...after high school and they go to university....and they will go to university.....they can live with me...or their Dad.....but once that is done....they need to move out and get their own place......
As for myself....if someone was living with their parents because they were supporting them then that would be different.....but if they were just mooching off their parents.....then I would definitely not date them......I"m grown up enough and have my own place and support myself quite well.........I expect the same.......from a potential partner... | |
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| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 2/2/2006 7:19:37 PM | I wouldn't date somebody that lived at his parent's home. Period.
If he was living at his parent's home because he was having some financial problems, then he's not stable enough for me. If he is living at his parent's home because (as one poster put it) 'why move when the rent is free'...then he's not independant enough for me. I agree there are cultural reasons, as well as supporting reasons (like the previous poster who takes care of her parents) and for those reasons I don't judge, but I still wouldn't be interested in dating them. I like freedom when I'm dating somebody...I want to be able to spend the night with him, which is pretty creepy when mom and dad are in the next room. Just my preference.
The only judgements I make is when somebody, for no cultural or health reasons, CHOOSES to live with their parents past being in school, for the simple reason that it's easier to sponge off their mom and dad than pay their own way in life. Come on people, get your own life and cut the apron strings! And for the parents allowing it to happen...pity. | |
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| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 2/2/2006 7:23:07 PM | I'm 23 and live with my parents. I'd like to get out and live on my own for a while, but I am close to my parents and enjoy living with them. Or would if we had a bigger house.
Then again I've been deathly ill and sick with cancer and then chemo since 2004 so my circumstances are a little specific.
But I'm happy where I am. We live close to where we board our horses, and close to two of my aunts and their families. When I move out on my own (which is waiting for a stable job where I can afford it, finishing classes, and my license and a car) I won't be near my horses so I have to be in a position financially and work wise where I can take the transit time to spend with them.
Plus I have a dog and don't think it's fair to live in an apartment with one, so I have to be able to afford a house or a suite in a house or whatever.
So while I'm not paying anything at the moment, I'm certainly not what I'd consider "mooching" or a freak for living with them currently. | |
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| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 2/2/2006 7:25:02 PM | LOL Intriguing you have a point on spending the night..
however, in my case my parents have the 2nd floor apartment.. their bedroom is on the 3rd floor so thats not an issue.. what is an issue is that I won't have men sleep over because I have a child and don't think its right for me to have some guy spending the night with my kid in the next room that really makes it creapy for me.
so there are never have never been any nightly visitors to my apartment... | |
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| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 2/2/2006 7:38:41 PM | It would depend entirely on the circumstances. Taking care of parents as they are getting older and failing health, ........ good thing. Living at home because you choose to be underemployed and no ambition and want mommy and daddy to hold your little hand after age 25...... bad thing.
If you have lost your home due to divorce or separation and have to temporarily move back in with parents until you're back on your feet...... understandable. If you move back home temporarily while going to school to better yourself......... understandable. Or in Lacy's case due to illness....... understandable. Any parent would do that for their child.
There will always be exceptions when a person is either taking care of elderly parents or trying to better himself with school or picking up the pieces after a devistating life circumstance. If I were a younger woman and dating a man over 25 and none of the above applied, I doubt I would date you more than once. That would show me a lack of ambition and that makes all the difference in the world.
:))
Witchy | |
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| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 2/2/2006 8:05:21 PM | | When I got divorced, I moved in with my parents for a while. Then, my Dad changed jobs that required him to be gone for weeks straight. I am still in college full time, I work full time, and being my Mom would live alone, I rent the upstairs portion of her house. It worked out well because working and in school, makes it hard to be out on your own and my Mom isn't so scared being alone. Once I graduate though, I'll be out on my own. That's in about a year, and by then, my Dad will be established enough to be home more often. Being almost broke myself, being able to give my Mom some security, and saving some money, this has helped everyone in the family out! I don't see a problem with someone living at home, it just depends on the circumstance. I do believe that it is more cultually acceptable for a girl to live at home than a man though. | |
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| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 2/2/2006 8:24:34 PM | I totally concur Intriguing!
I told my kids as long as your going to school, university, educating yourself, whatever, by all means.. I'm there for yah. Have no problem helping you get on your feet. After that..adious!
Having to struggle and do without gives you substance and character! You learn to appreciate so much more, what you earned on your own! My kids are all extremely intelligent independent,successful passionate loving people with careers. Nothing was handed to them on a platter! What I do see happening a lot with this generation, the 20 year olds, because of my line of work, is that they have to have nothing but the best....the most expensive cars, the latest in technology, the vacations to Mexico, lets not forget the most expensive designer clothes and why not? Cuz by living at home... they get to spend their entire cheque on themselves!
Yet they go out on dates, so I'm told and still expect the girl to pay for her own movie, cuz gee, we're all liberated right! NOT
My daughter and her girlfriends would never ever consider dating any guy who still lived at home!
Yes there are circumstances, such as illness, perhaps a divorce situation where your son or daughter was left with nothing and you help them out for a couple of months. That's it!
I'm in a position because of my job, I get to listen to a lot of young people talk and express their views on issues such as this. The genereal consensus is you need to grow up and cut the apron strings! Living off your parents is not attractive or cool!!  | |
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jimb77
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Joined: 8/30/2005
Msg: 23 | |
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| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 2/2/2006 10:55:24 PM | | If you are legally an adult and still living with your parents simply because "you have it good", then that falls under laziness in my books. If you are living with your parents while educating yourself, or under other circumstances (divorced and lost everything, injured in accident, cant work, etc.), that's different. I think that independence goes a long way in creating a persons values. Once you live on your own you will appreciate the value of a dollar even more, because you will have to budget to make sure the bills are paid, etc, and what ever is left over ( if any!) will probably be spent more wisely. | |
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| How old is too old to still be living with your parents? Would you date someone that still did?
Posted: 2/2/2006 11:51:04 PM |
Depends on circumstances, can't be answered without knowing details.
Exactly. Until VERY recently, it was my plan to take over my parent's farm. I've decided to take a different path now and they're going to sell this place in a few months. You can't learn to run a farm if you don't live on one; basic fact, right there. That's why I'm 23 and living at home (although, not for much longer).
If someone told me that they wouldn't date me because of a living arrangement, then too bad; their loss on this one. I find it terribly short sighted to call people "moochers" or the like, just because of a living arrangement. Unless, you know, they ARE moochers. | |
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