| Hoping older, mothers will answer this
Posted: 2/6/2006 9:46:40 PM | | I have been with my gf for three months now and she was in love with me from the start and she is pregnant with my baby. She isn't a cheater, I know for a fact, but she says she doesn't wanna be with me all of a sudden because her hormones are all ****ed up. She still wants me to call her, hang out on valentine's day, chill as friends, but no touchy or kissy stuff. She said her mom went through the same thing but she said to me that maybe in a couple of weeks (or months) when her hormones are back to better. She is 21 and I'm just turning 19 but we've been together for a little while, she's carrying my baby, and she says to me "you can get the blood test cuz i swear its urs" but I'm just afraid these aren't her hormones and might be real. I know she's confused and doesn't want any other guy she said to me that she just wants her baby and she says stuff like "I know when I see you holding it my feelings will come back." She's gonna tell me if it's a boy or girl on my birthday :) but I just want some feedback from some more mature women that have kids. | |
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| Hoping older, mothers will answer this
Posted: 2/6/2006 10:00:40 PM | ok this sounds a little weird to me... yes hormones do play part but depending how far along do they really play a factor into it....
if she is saying... about you getting a blood test done coz i know its yours for sure... that would have me a little worried... as the father of my child thought i was cheating on him ( i have never cheated on a partner) and my so call friends were fueling his thoughts so he was saying its not my baby blah blah get a blood test done...
how far along is she? and when is your bday?... this i will be able to tell you how far along she should be.... as you can only know the sex of the baby after 19-20weeks gone.... | |
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| Hoping older, mothers will answer this
Posted: 2/6/2006 10:06:29 PM | I'll be 19 on april second and I think she is about 13-14 weeks now..
She always refers to it as "her" baby and that if we break up she can take care of it on her own but its my little boy/girl too I told her but she said today that she wanted me to grow up a little and stuff and that our age difference is one of the main things...
One minute she loves me, then she doesn't, but she says her mom wanted to get a divorce from her dad but the feelings went away after a little while. | |
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| Hoping older, mothers will answer this
Posted: 2/6/2006 10:13:06 PM | she will be able to tell you what the sex is in about a months time... hold on... you have only been together for 3months right?... and she is already into her 4th month of pregnancy... this isnt adding up...
as far as growing up... i think it is her that needs to grow up... as you are willing to be there for her and this child regardless what happens between yas....for you to want to take care and be involved in this childs life... that as mature as any soon to be parent that is sticking around for their kid/s.
nah... sorry but as far as im seeing this.... she is using her mums experience to cover her own tracks... as she doesnt know what she is doing or if she can handle it... if this child is yours.... be prepared to be a sole parent and look after it yourself... i dont think she is ready to be a parent and she knows that. | |
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| Hoping older, mothers will answer this
Posted: 2/6/2006 10:17:05 PM | | im gonna look after it, but it will live with mommy, she told me she could never give it up after carrying it for so long and then seeing it being born. I'm the first boyfriend that has treated her good and her parents liked so I dunno. She says to me "nothing lasts forever not every couple that has a baby sticks together my parents didnt" but I say to her "well lets be with each other as long as we can" but I went onto internet sites like this and she got real mad.. also we're on a break right now but she doesn't want me to talk to other girls | |
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| Hoping older, mothers will answer this
Posted: 2/6/2006 10:26:13 PM | see this is why it is her that needs to grow up a little.... yes nothing lasts forever... but just because her parents didnt doesnt mean that the relationship with you wont.
if you are the first boyfriend to treat her nicely... then why is she telling you you need to grow up and that the age difference is a big deal for her?
I still got the gut feeling this baby isnt yours... but she is saying mixed emotions to keep you there coz she knows you will be there for the baby... and whoever the father maybe isnt.... or she doesnt know who maybe the father... which will explain alot of her sayings....
did you come onto the dating sites when you were together or when you are on the break?.... and as for her not wanting you to talk to other girls.... does that mean you cant talk to a female that is serving you in their line of business say at a service station or at the supermarkets etc.... or you are just not allowed to have female friends coz of her insecurities? | |
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| Hoping older, mothers will answer this
Posted: 2/6/2006 10:32:20 PM | I'm hoping the baby is mine and she says it is and she wants me to get a blood test just to prove it IS mine...
I went on the dating site on a break because I was mad at her and she got real pissed because she is, in my opinion, the greatest girl ever.. she modelled for coors light, was in Maxim, I seen her pics, and she is not a slut, she dispises little scallies...
She was very protective of me and she hated when my bro had girls over and it took her a while to trust me because she had been hurt so much in the past. But I think she is gonna be happier because her friend is back from the military...
I just wanna know if these feelings are just her hormones because she said she is going to give me another chance and she said we'd probably get back together I think she just doesn't like the three year age difference. She has just been real pissed. And the friend from the military has a gf, and he cheated on her, and she asked me to go out to dinner with her, the friend, and the friend's gf | |
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| Hoping older, mothers will answer this
Posted: 2/6/2006 10:52:53 PM | if she knows the babys your and then why is she wanting to prove to you it is yours?.... see this i dont get.... as when i was getting accused of sleeping around on my sons father.... i put my foot down and told him it was his coz i know as i know i never cheated.... i didnt have time to cheat on him... but still... he wanted it to prove to me well didnt he get a nice surprise when he looked at him the first time and said sorry... i know he is mine no need for a bloodtest....
if the baby is yours you would be have been going together longer then 3months... at 12weeks is the end of the first term which is 3months... and most people dont know they are pregnant until after a month...
you went on the dating sites on your breakup.... why should it worry her what you do if you are broken up... if she is the one that said for yas to take a break.. then nah she shouldnt be pissed.... she shouldnt need to be protectie of you... she is not your mother to protect you from your brother and the girls he brings over... if there wasnt trust in the relationship to start off with there never will be... plus isnt this a double standard... you arent allowed to talk to girls... but yet her best friend is a male.... and she will be happier now he is back... funny why is she pissed that her male friend has a gf?... did he cheat on his gf with yours?
i honestly dont think it is hormones.. i still think she is covering up something.... no one can be this wishy washy if they werent trying to hide something.... sorry... not matter how pregnant you are... there are mood swings... but nothing like this...
coz from you are saying... her story doesnt add up. | |
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| Hoping older, mothers will answer this
Posted: 2/6/2006 10:53:15 PM | You're right on your instinct that there's lots more than hormones going on.
I've yet to meet a pregnant women who didn't want 'daddy' in the picture.
That support system can mean a lot...ask any pregnant woman who is going it alone.
Fluctuating hormones may make us more prone to moodiness but they also tend to make us more 'amorous'....what other reason would men put up with us during our down times. 
Sounds more like she wants to keep you available in case she can't find someone else and I would certainly question why she even brings up the 'blood test' thing?
Sad situation for you dude....but if you want to be part of your baby's life....then now would be a good time to start educating yourself on your rights as the father.
Don't let her be abusive toward you and have the nerve to blame it on hormones.
You know, men really do have a lot of experience with the 'hormonal' behaviour of women. Some may not understand the technical side of it but they do live with it.
Getting feedback from 'fathers' may be more helpful to you.
Good luck with this and remember that the baby's needs take priority.  | |
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| Hoping older, mothers will answer this
Posted: 2/6/2006 11:10:22 PM | oh oh oh.. i have had another thought....lol...
how long has her friend been gone for?
why all of a sudden he is coming back... she wants to give you another chance... and invited you out to dinner with her him and his gf?
how does she know her friend cheated on his gf?
my gut feeling is working overtime again..... i think she is wanting you to go out to dinner with all of them to make him jealous.
and Debroah is right no mother to be or even a single mother doesnt want the father in their childs life unless the father is abusive and fears he may harm the child or ill treat the child... just read all the threads in single parents... you will get a fair idea even from mother whos father of their kids dont want nothing to do with them.. they still want them to have something to do with their kids as the father and the kids deserve to have a relationship. hel even after all the crap i went thru with my pregnancy and after with my sons father i still wanted him to be part of his life... even though the father hasnt seen his son for 14months or even contacted him in that time... i still want him to have something to with our son... | |
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| Hoping older, mothers will answer this
Posted: 2/6/2006 11:17:00 PM | according to my baby's mother the guy cheated on his gf by going to the red light district in germany...
he got arrested and was kicked off the ship...
let me add something, when i met her i thought she was already pregnant, but turns out she wasn't but now she is and she just started getting sick around xmas...
she went to the hospital and told her she was 8-10 weeks preg and i had officially been dating her for about 9 weeks... | |
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| Hoping older, mothers will answer this
Posted: 2/6/2006 11:34:48 PM | when did she go to the hospital? did you go in with her and heard the doctor tell her this is how far along she is?
if you have offically only started dting her about 9weeks.. you wouldve pretty much would have slept with her from word go before it was offical of yas being a couple? | |
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| Hoping older, mothers will answer this
Posted: 2/8/2006 5:27:51 AM | I am not a mother but go get the blood test done, you are young and excuse me for saying so a little naive, although your heart is one hundred percent in the right place. If you add up the facts that you have given, there is a good chance this is not your child. I'm with the other women on this one. If it is I'm happy for you because you will make a good parent and the baby needs one mature parent. if it isn't you are young and when you are prepared and ready and in a longer relationship where you know it is real on both sides, you will make a wonderful father.
I am going to be blunt here so hang on.... I think you found yourself a user who is scared of being alone.
Good luck to you .... now and always | |
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| Hoping older, mothers will answer this
Posted: 2/8/2006 5:29:37 AM | LOL.... sorry I am mother but changed the start of my last message.... my kids would be a little upset if I ignored them now  | |
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| Hoping older, mothers will answer this
Posted: 2/8/2006 5:49:29 AM | I don't think it's strange at all.
It's not abnormal for pregnant women to get icked out because they're feeling fat.
I know I did.
also, if she's only 21, I'm sure she's as confused as you are.
and yes......changes in hormones can make a pregnant woman act differently. | |
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| Hoping older, mothers will answer this
Posted: 2/8/2006 6:01:34 AM |
I'll be 19 on april second and I think she is about 13-14 weeks now..
You've been together for three months. So, she got pregnant as soon as you met? That seems a bit odd, doesn't it?
I'll tell you, I got pregnant at 19 and it NEVER dawned on me to tell the guy the baby was his and he can have the tests done. It never entered my mind that he would question it. For her to say so, one of you must have questioned it...either her or you. I'm betting she says that and then "you don't love me if I have to prove myself." This seems a big fishy, although I'm sure it's plausible. She COULD have gotten pregnant as soon as you met.
Tell her you want to go with her to the ultrasound. Why isn't she asking you to go along? This is not about touchy/feely...it's about seeing your baby. Plus, the ultrasound technician will tell you exactly how far along she is.
I've had three children. I've never had "hormones" so badly that I wanted the guy to get out of my life except for occasions where it's nice to have a boyfriend who can buy me something (i.e. Valentines Day).
I'm sure you're excited about the baby. I hope it's yours. Make sure. It sounds like she either used you to establish the paternity of a baby she already was baking when she met you OR she wanted a baby and you were the first available "donor" and now she's done. At any rate, she doesn't seem to be acting very "in love" at the moment. Even if she didn't want to hug/kiss/get intimate, she would want to share the baby moments with the father if it were JUST hormones.
BTW, we share a birthday. :) | |
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| Hoping older, mothers will answer this
Posted: 2/8/2006 6:13:14 AM | | Man, this girl is ****ed up. Run. There are a lot of lame ass people in the world, don't become a victim. You being 18 years old is the key here. 18 and you are looking forward to having a kid? Oh yeah, good idea. What is your financial situation? Any goals? University? Don't make it harder than life already is. She's a wack-job bro, get away from her. | |
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| Hoping older, mothers will answer this
Posted: 2/8/2006 12:06:30 PM | well, this sounds like another case of a nice boy getting screwed before he has a chance to even finish growing up. Get the blood test done as soon as possible. DO NOT allow the child to be given your name or be put on the birth certificate as the father until said test is done. Hopefully you can take care of it before the birth. I am not trying to be mean or put down your obviously genuine feelings for this girl, but I suspect that you are getting played. If you are you will find out soon enough, and that in itself is going to be a very painful thing for you to come to terms with. You do not need to add having to pay child support for the next 18 years for a child that may not be yours. No matter that she calls it "her" baby and says she can do it on her own, you WILL be held responsible for support.
Yes, pregnancy affects your hormonal levels and your moods, but NOT to the point that you want to push away the father of your child unless there are other issues involved. From what I have read, I think the girl has some serious issues and I see a lot of red flags here.
Please protect yourself the best you can. | |
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| Hoping older, mothers will answer this
Posted: 2/8/2006 4:06:35 PM | I'm sorry to say this, but it sounds like she just wants the baby and nothing else. now that you've given her the baby she wanted, she doesn't need you
i've seen it alot unfortunately | |
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| Hoping older, mothers will answer this
Posted: 2/8/2006 4:26:39 PM | I'd say your girlfriend is still in contact/has feelings with the 'other' person she thinks this baby might belong to and is keeping both doors open .
Get Legally informed (not friends/co-workers) , get the blood test done and go from there .
If it isn't yours she will more than likely run after the real dad , if it Is yours then you have choices to make ; legally to gain custody (and you WANT to do that!) or marry her .
Guarantee she will never truly love you and will cheat within a few years .
The Trust isn't there and will never be there , verbally yes , from the heart no . | |
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| Hoping older, mothers will answer this
Posted: 2/8/2006 5:20:37 PM |
I went on the dating site on a break because I was mad at her and she got real pissed
not sure how that works then.... you've been dating her for 3 months... and you've been on this site since August? Your joining date is beside your name on your posts.
I have to agree with most posters here... the timing seems a little off. (maybe on both your parts though)
Are you hoping for a girl, cause your profile says you're having a girl, but your posts say you won't know till April 2nd. Not exactly sure why you're profile says you're married too?? Maybe it's just your way of telling others that you're attached? That's ok.
Blood tests are very expensive. I believe they can run anywhere between 500 to 1000 $ depending on where you live. I too would suggest you might want to seriously consider that.
Hormones.... yeah, if everything is above board, her hormones with her maturity could definately be the reason she's pushing you away at this point. Every woman is different and experiences pregnancy in their own way. Be careful and protect yourself, especially considering the circumstances. On the other hand.... don't just write her off cause she's acting weird and emotionally unstable. Pregnant women can do that, especially when their young, single (after 3 months you're not really an established couple), immature, and likely scared to death.
All the best to you. I do hope first and foremost you find out for certain if this is your child (daughter?). | |
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