| How do you handle the issue of Sexual Protection ?
Posted: 2/7/2006 8:26:17 PM | I am really shocked at the casualness of some men I have dated in regard to sexual protection. When I bring up the subject of protection, they treat me as though I must have some disease. I hear the same excuses being used for not using protection as the ones I heard when I was a teen-ager. I am not gearing this thread toward men, I am sure there are a lot of women that feel the same way.
How do you handle the "protection" thing? Personally, I do carry my own condoms and do not depend on the man to have his own, but how do we bring the subject up tactfully? | |
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| How do you handle the issue of Sexual Protection ?
Posted: 2/7/2006 9:46:00 PM | Tell him if it is a casual thing as you say no glove no love so to speak. Now if you are really serious about someone then that is another story.
For me I'll pass on the casual part I want it to be meaningful!!! | |
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| How do you handle the issue of Sexual Protection ?
Posted: 2/8/2006 7:40:39 AM | | Condoms don't stop all of the lethal STD's, and aren't 100% effective for the ones they do sometimes prevent. Some who don't understand this or choose to ignore it are trading diseases. Protection against pregnancy is one thing, but there is no such thing when it comes to STD's except either not having sex, or having sex only with someone who is disease free. Play the odds if you like but realize that is how people get sick. Maybe you won't, but maybe you will. I wouldn't have sex with someone if I thought there was any chance it would be necessary to use a condom. The condom wouldn't be effective enough to put me at ease. | |
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| How do you handle the issue of Sexual Protection ?
Posted: 2/8/2006 8:20:23 AM | | Well ihavent had sex in 15 months cuz i dont want casual sex at all.. I want to be at least dating the guy and not some one nuight stand and the guy must wear a condom not ifs and or buts. He dont wanna wear one there willbe no sex easy as that. the only person i have had sex with without a condom was my ex husband. And untill i am either cmmon law or married again he will wear one as well. If i dont have one on me and he dont have one on him when we want to have sex we either find one or not have sex at all. I dont really have to bring up the topic while in the middle of it cuz it usually comes up in conversation at some point before we even attempt to have sex. lol | |
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| How do you handle the issue of Sexual Protection ?
Posted: 2/10/2006 4:14:46 PM | interesting topic the op brought up.
my gf who was using this system was chatting with a guy who seemed really nice on pof. they met and he broached the idea of possibly having sex. my gf was semi joking/semi serious when she mentioned protection. i don't think she was entertaining the idea of having sex with the man since they'd only just met but she was horrified by his reaction. he called her all kinds of names and told her that women on pof were all c*ck teases etc. needless to say, she didn't see him again.
but then, she checked out his profile a few days later and it was a mysogonistic rant about how women were a b*tches. she told me to go have a look and tell me what i thought and it was quite awful. she said he did a complete 180 from the profile that caught her attention originally.
all b/c she brought up the idea that if she was going to engage in casual sex a condom might be appropriate??!?!?!?!!?!
i haven't had sex in a while (over 2 years) cause i am not into casual sex. but even with partners who i have dated awhile and then took that next step, i haven't really had this issue arise about men making a big deal about protection. they don't always readily offer to "cover" up but they don't call me all kinds of names if i ask that they wear protection. so what gives? i would love to hear men's thoughts of this? do you really not care about protection given all the knowledge about std's and potential for pregnancy out there?!?!?!? | |
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| How do you handle the issue of Sexual Protection ?
Posted: 2/10/2006 6:22:56 PM | | Boxo...buying into a very dangerous game you are..." I wouldn't have sex with someone if I thought there was any chance it would be necessary to use a condom"....To quote a recent HIV/AIDS prevention campaign tag line...."How do you know what you know"?....The fact of the matter is, when you have sex with someone, you are, in effect having sex with every sexual partner they ever had and all their partner's partners. Another fact is, condoms are NOT 100% effective in preventing pregnancy or sexually transmitted infections. True. However what they do offer is a harm reduction alternative, for both u and your partner and that's better than rolling the proverbial dice in the matter. | |
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| How do you handle the issue of Sexual Protection ?
Posted: 2/10/2006 7:12:31 PM | | I haven't had enough sex to even worry about it. Quite frankly...I don't know what I would do if that came up. Naturally I'd do as she asked..."no glove, no love" who am I to argue. But having little to no experience in actually slipping it on....zero teachings. | |
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| How do you handle the issue of Sexual Protection ?
Posted: 2/10/2006 7:43:20 PM | | No prob. How bout once and only once. Does that qualify? Course that being my first and only time....guess I just gave in too easy about her not liking the condom thing. She told me she has an allergy to rubber. You'd think that was a joke...but it was true. | |
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| How do you handle the issue of Sexual Protection ?
Posted: 2/10/2006 7:59:31 PM | Listen slim, the bottom line is it is up to you what kind of situation you are comfortable in. The thing we talk about in safer sex education is just that...there is no such thing as "safe sex", unless of course your having it with yourself.. It's about "Safer Sex"
If you are swapping vaginal or semenal body fluids with any other human being, you are putting yourself at risk for a multitude of sexually transmitted infections. Some of those kill, some are a pain in the ass and can be cleared up with antibiotics, some are chronic life-long re-occuring things (and contagious). Certainly, limiting the number of partners is going to play favourably in your court, but it's not a guarantee for good health.
Condoms are a reality | |
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| How do you handle the issue of Sexual Protection ?
Posted: 2/10/2006 8:04:54 PM | | Oh I agree...totally. I won't be put in that sort of spot again...had I known then what I know now...definately would have been concerned. But when your younger...you tend to think in the moment. Course that's the experince life gives you...I could have been seriously infected...and dodged a bullit for sure. I don't take it for granted anymore...but then again I'm not sexually promiscuous either...not out there bedding every woman in town. | |
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| How do you handle the issue of Sexual Protection ?
Posted: 2/11/2006 8:34:41 AM | Forget tact.... when it comes down to it, hand him a condom, and if he doesn't like it then I agree no glove no love. As long as you are aware there are risks with condoms and more risks without them.... and are willing to take the risks then go for it.
For the person with the allergy to rubber buy lambskin no excuse not to use a condom you can get latex free and rubber free condoms.
There are over 425 STD's out there.... and the only sure protection from getting them is not to have sex, or any form of intimacy outside of yourself, but who wants to live life that way.
Safer sex is each individuals responsibilities.... I make sure if I am going to get some I have condoms handy and whatever else I want to use to heighten the experience.
No one is responsible for your actions but you. And it makes me happy to hear that women buy condoms carry them and hand them over for use. | |
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| How do you handle the issue of Sexual Protection ?
Posted: 2/11/2006 12:38:23 PM | boxo, if you're so against condoms and you feel they give a false sense of security then may I ask how do YOU protect yourself from diseases?
Sorry but there's no 100% way to protect yourself (though there are ways to reduce the risk: condoms, when used properly).........even if both parties go to the doctor and get tested for everything under the sun -- and then wait 6 months to be sexually active (with each other, or anyone for that matter) because as most of us know, it can take a full 6 months for someone to test positive for Hepatitis C or HIV -- there's no way to know that the person you're waiting to be intimate with is actually not sleeping with someone else.
Many people foolishly think that if they and a new partner "get tested" and come back clean, they're fine. Nope. Eg: Billy Bob could have slept with an HIV+ hooker on Tuesday, met Sally on Wednesday - they both got tested on Thursday.........and he comes up HIV negative - but it can take a full 6 months, if he HAD contracted HIV from the hooker, to actually have enough antibodies in his blood to show a positive test -- same goes for Hepatitis C. Unfortunately in a case like this, Sally would think he was negative, likely choose to have unprotected sex and presto - she's set herself up, unknowingly, to contract HIV. | |
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