| I have some questions... maybe this is the right one to put it in..
Posted: 2/10/2006 7:57:03 AM | | I have emailed ladies on here, and they "say" that they are interested, but, what about that.. They get the email, read it, and respond with "yes, I would like to get to know you," or something to that effect. Well, I have found, that a LOT of women are not true to their word. I mean, I don't expect them to drop everything, and delete their profile, or whatever, but at least MEAN WHAT YOU SAY, AND SAY WHAT YOU MEAN. If you say you are interested, and you email back to a guy, that emailed you first, or he emailed you, and then come back with.."well, I have just been really busy," or something like that.. then, why are they here? I mean, if you REALLY want to find someone, then, post your profile, and stick with it..and respond to the guy, if you "say" you are interested in him. If you are too busy, then, just say that on your profile, or don't put one up!!! I can understand that some people have a really busy schedule, and cannot be on here a lot, but, like I said...if you REALLY want to get to know someone, then you will be contacting him also, as the expression goes.."Where there is a will, there is a way." To me, there is a lot of one-way stuff.. The men write to the women, and they respond, and then, you write back..you both agree (at that particular time) that you want to get to know him..well, don't just leave him hanging.. at least have the courtesy of letting him know that you are busy at the moment, and you will get back with him. If you see him, online, then at least say something to him. I mean, its like if you don't respond, then, it makes you seem like you are NOT truly interested, and told him you are, which is just plain WRONG. If you ARE interested, then get back with him..ask questions, or whatever, at least let him know you are there..and want to get to know them. So, my question is... WHAT IS THE DEAL?!?!?!?!? Enlighten me someone...PLEASE... | |
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| I have some questions... maybe this is the right one to put it in..
Posted: 2/12/2006 9:52:02 PM | Another thing is to be selective on who you're leaving messages to. You are not gonna find lady luck overnite unless YOU are lucky, but patience is a virtue man, and if you wait they will come. People are gonna get shot down on these personals, it's human nature, and everybody's got their own preferances. But hang in there man, have fun, and don't be too hasty. When the time is right, you'll strike gold. | |
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| I have some questions... maybe this is the right one to put it in..
Posted: 2/15/2006 7:21:16 PM | I agree with everyone else here. be patient man sometimes you realy hit it off with someone and then it just fizzles out. but you seem to be looking for instant oatmeal type stuff that doesnt work here. I had to read your profile for myself and put myself in the ladies place to be honest when I seen "I think I'm" that tossed a red flag if you dont know then dont put it down here. be honest be patient be kind. I get tons of yes's and they fizzle be it my fault or thiers it doesnt matter people loose intrest doesnt mean you still cant be just friends.
j. | |
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| I have some questions... maybe this is the right one to put it in..
Posted: 2/17/2006 8:38:33 AM | op...your not alone...seems men do this to us woman too....so i hear ya on that note.
If you ARE interested, then get back with him..ask questions, or whatever, at least let him know you are there..and want to get to know them. So, my question is... WHAT IS THE DEAL?!?!?!?!? Enlighten me someone...PLEASE...
^^^^^^i have kept on with the guy i was interested in....but it seems ...they cant keep there end of the deal. guess theres someone better then me..lol. goes both ways.
doesnt mean you still cant be just friends
^^^ most dont want friends...theyre here lookin for life time partner. besides i dont consider them friends..theyre associates to me...as for my friends ...they are part of my life and they would never disrespect me. | |
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| I have some questions... maybe this is the right one to put it in..
Posted: 2/18/2006 4:58:14 AM | I have emailed a few locals who answer , say they are interested and ask questions . So we
Instant Message and seem to have something in common . They indicate they want to chat again and/or meet . Then , they dont answer any email for the next two weeks , and out of the blue I get one . They want to meet and/or chat again . ( by this time I have forgotten what they told me the first time around ) ..... Then again nothing for 1 -2 weeks . BIG circle !
Is this some kind of "head game" , or what ? | |
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| I have some questions... maybe this is the right one to put it in..
Posted: 2/25/2006 1:36:21 PM | Hi everyone. This is my very first forum post ever, anywhere but I couldn't resist. I'm new to POF(today), however, not new to the dating scene. Been single for two yrs. now and decided to start dating about a year ago. 3PennyProphet and rjay777. You are soo right. One thing I've learned about online dating is that people are usually online cause they don't have alot of time to meet ppl elsewhere or they don't wanna meet someone in a bar. I've also learned that people can be whomever they want to be when behind a keyboard and it takes time and lotza patience to meet people, get to know them and especially earn their trust. Just remember this...There's PLENY OF FISH!
You will find the right person if you just don't give up. I know this for a fact from reading people's testimonies. I haven't found my love yet, but I have made some truly genuine frinds in my search. Most importantly. Be true to yourself by being yerself and you will weed through the duds soo much faster. Good luck in yer quest.
Remember..."Plenty of fish"!
Chris. | |
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| I have some questions... maybe this is the right one to put it in..
Posted: 2/27/2006 12:27:09 PM | Well, what I mean..to clarify some things... is that when you email someone, and they respond back, with "yes, I would like to get to know you too..." then, they say that they are busy, or whatever..like I had mentioned...YET.. if you have them on your favs list..YOU SEE THEM ONLINE, SOMETIMES 3 TIMES A DAY.. well, if someone truly wants to get to know you, then, thats what I mean... I don't understand, if you can be online, that much, then at least TRY to get to know the person, that you "said" that you wanted to get to know... Does anyone see my point?
I have also been VERY VERY patient, and no, I don't give up easy on anything that I want really bad..not saying that a woman is a "posession" at all....thats not me. I have met a few ladies from here, and there was simply no chemistry... one even said that there were red flags, and she still talked to me, and so forth, and I had asked her what they were, and she just named off superficial stuff. I mean, if all the "difference" is just music tastes..then, I really don't see what in the world the difference it would make... Relationships, are built on trust, honesty, communication, and more. I mean, just because you may wear a red shirt, and she doesn't like it, doesn't mean that she is not for you...good grief...lol... | |
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| I have some questions... maybe this is the right one to put it in..
Posted: 7/15/2006 5:02:23 PM | I totally agree. I have gone thru the same thing on here. I hesitate putting this out there because I know it will show on my profile but I feel I have to say it and so what if this person that I'm referring to reads it. I have met in person someone from this site that lives locally to me and we hit it off well. We both talked and added each other to the favs lists and have exchanged numbers etc. We both agreed that we were interesting in seeing what it could be and that we enjoyed each other as friends and spending time together if nothing else. I also understand that this person works crazy hours but I am starting to feel..blown off! I can talk with him and set loose plans to do something or meet or meet online and then when it comes to that time, all of the sudden he's busy, or has been suddenly called in to work. Worst part is most of the time when that happens, he doesn't even let me know...I have to call him to find out over the phone after he's already busy with whatever it is that came up. All the while I'll see him on and off of this site and another that we are both on. I'm not trying to stalk him and he has no reason to report to me, I'm not his keeper nor do I want to be at this point, but I feel like I'm being disrespected and not sure what to do about it. Normally it would be "well I'm here when you make up your mind, or go away if you don't have time" but with this one guy, I just can't understand things and I can't walk away either.
This kind of game that he's playing sounds to me like an expanded version of the chat thing you were talking about. If he's too busy to spend time talking to me or seeing me...what the hell is he doing on here to begin with!!?? I want to clarify too that I don't ask him to see me often...once or twice in two weeks at most is fine with me, even if it works out that we don't see each other for two weeks at a time.
I wanted to let you know that you are not the only one that ppl play these games with and maybe see what other ppl had to say about ideas of what I should do with this one.
Hope it helped.
~H~ | |
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| I have some questions... maybe this is the right one to put it in..
Posted: 7/19/2006 12:30:08 PM | To put it as simply as possible (and this does not answer your question but is the best way to deal with it) go forward with NO EXPECTATION.
*NONE*
If someone looks interesting, write 'em, talk to 'em, hell spraypaint their name on the wall of city hall if you like but do not, DO NOT in any way shape or form have any expectation that they will:
Write back
Be interested
Stay interested
Care in the slightest
And this applies at every point of your dialog. If things are going great and it fizzles for no known reason, so be it. It's just too easy to be impersonal online with no intention to be hurtful, its just the nature of the beast. Once you have met a person in real life, it tends to get a LITTLE better but again there are more reasons than blades of grass that people blow each other off and act rude.
Dont take it personally and dont have any expectation. If someone does not follow up, remind yourself that it is their loss and wish them well. Breath deep, remind yourself that you have blessings in your life with or without a relationship, and move on.
Time and life are too prescious to wonder why flaky people do flaky things. | |
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| I have some questions... maybe this is the right one to put it in..
Posted: 7/20/2006 5:16:35 PM | The internet is a very dangerous place, and an exciting one, I always have put "looking for friends" in my profile as I believe in friendship first. Maybe they became cautious because of past problems, but the women are honest enough to answer you if you e-mail them as to why it took so long or why are you checking me out now, after all this time.If it happens to me that is what I do, or I will say "not a problem if I am not your type, but I can always use some one to chat with!!
I am busy, I work from 7 am till 7 pm some Saturdays I have asked to come in without advance notice so plans have to get changed, I travel in my job also that is a factor. You need to ask these type of questions......
Just my opinion.......... | |
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