| Is there anything worse
Posted: 2/11/2006 10:05:01 AM | Is there anything worse then the line "you are the greatest, I mean the best guy I have ever met, but I just want to be friends". The I just want be friends line is the worst thing you could ever hear cuase if your so great then why dont you want to date and if your not that great then why not just say so and where exactly does the friends fit in. I dont know but having heard this line more then once and finding not only hard to swallow but very condensending, I just wish people would say what they mean, and not what they think is better to hear. Basically I wrote this so I could get your opinoin on what all of you think.
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| Is there anything worse
Posted: 2/11/2006 10:08:45 AM | simple, you have a great personality but the attraction isn't there!
don't burn a bridge, she may have hot friends! | |
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| Is there anything worse
Posted: 2/11/2006 10:15:57 AM | I know exactly what you mean, so don't think this is a blow off for men only. Oh yea, I'm great but there is probably one thing that I did not mention or act as expected..but then I try to tell myself I am great, you're the one with the problem. If a person thinks he/she can find the PERFECT man or woman in this lifetime all I can say is you are on a long hunt. There is more to a person than the package they are wrapped in.
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| Is there anything worse
Posted: 2/11/2006 11:08:41 AM | | I have the opposite problem. I get told I am the worst guy they ever met but they are dying to sleep with me. I guess we balance each other out somehow. | |
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| Is there anything worse
Posted: 2/11/2006 12:05:23 PM | | Well what would you prefer they say to you - "sorry dude but I'm not at all attracted to you, I'm not interested, bye" ??? Just because one single person meets another, that's not an unwritten guarantee or law written in stone that they MUST establish a relationship with you, right? Would you rather have someone string you along? We all meet people who we learn we don't have a connection with (be it intellectual, physical, emotional, etc) - it doesn't make anyone a bad person, it's really just a very personal, individual thing. Someone I find gorgeous or has the most attractive personality might be viewed as a silly schmuck to someone else -- don't take it personally, just because you meet someone doesn't mean that they have to want to pursue something with you. How else would you prefer them to tell you nicely that they're not interested? | |
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| Is there anything worse
Posted: 2/11/2006 12:27:16 PM | | The problem is that when they say that and ask to be friends, you still end up not hearing from them anymore. At that point, you can't even network. | |
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| Is there anything worse
Posted: 2/11/2006 12:28:31 PM | | The point is that they are saying "you are the greatest guy ever". If that was so, which it isn't, they would be into you. The people who say that are lying, trying to turn you down gently and they think by paying you the compliment it will avoid hurting your feelings. The truth is they think you're an OK person but they don't want to have sex with you. | |
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| Is there anything worse
Posted: 2/11/2006 12:36:04 PM | | I wish people would stop assuming that its just them.. Just because you get told something like that doesn't mean the person is lying. somtimes its just there insecurities wanting to just be friends.. It happens.. Not everyone thinks they are better than you.. Maybe they dont think they can compare to you or in the long run keep you happy.. Just something to think about | |
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| Is there anything worse
Posted: 2/11/2006 12:57:33 PM | | I for one could deal with hearing all that as long as they'd spread the word to their friends about how nice or great I am or whatever. Might increase my chances of hitting it off with somebody else without technically having to start from scratch. | |
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| Is there anything worse
Posted: 2/11/2006 1:55:20 PM | So with the best guys they ever meet, women don't want to date them, but for the worst guys they meet, they fall heads over heels to f*ck them.
Yup, this confirms my suspicions about women being stupid.   | |
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cyw
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Joined: 2/10/2006
Msg: 11 | |
| Is there anything worse
Posted: 2/11/2006 2:25:38 PM | ^ It's not that. The nice guys will treat them right, they'll fall in love with him, and get hurt.
So they go for the abusive type who will punch them out when drunk because it's easy to walk away from, easy not to love someone like that, and slightly dangerous.
In the long run, they'll end up with a series of tragic relationships and never able to love. Trust me, I know some through the work I do. | |
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| Is there anything worse
Posted: 2/11/2006 2:33:36 PM | UWantThis-[Yup,this confirms my suspicions about women being stupid.]
Now that really won you some points with the ladies,hon.
(think before inserting foot in mouth!)  | |
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*Tee*
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Joined: 9/4/2005
Msg: 13 | |
| Is there anything worse
Posted: 2/11/2006 2:46:33 PM | I've seen this being mentioned in the threads so often, and I just thought...this time I have to say something.
Theres many things you might want in a partner... personality, sense of humour,chemistry, looks, those are the usual ones that come to mind...but there are also many other things that aren't discussed as often, like...
"Do I see this person fitting into my lifestyle?"
"Will they understand my upbringing and culture?"
"Will I understand theirs?"
Religion also might play a big part... those are just a few examples of things that might make a huge difference on how 2 people might get along.
I've dated many men that I might have been in long term relationships with. But sometimes there are things that I see in them that might make me think...this isn't really potential for long term. Doesn't mean I don't like them, they could really be amazing men, but realistically you just know who you'll be compatible with, and who will fit into the lifestyle choices you've made for yourself...
So when a person says "you are an amazing person, lets be friends", don't take it to heart, it could be she or he is saving you from being in a really miserable relationship.. | |
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| Is there anything worse
Posted: 2/11/2006 8:01:45 PM | | Flower, hopefully it did, I like a woman with a sence of humor. | |
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| Is there anything worse
Posted: 2/12/2006 7:34:54 PM | | LOL well it wasnt like she just said this after we went out twice we went out for a couple months and had sex a lot (best part being it was not always intiated by me), maybe we just started to fast and burnt out. I also miss the part were I said that I felt like I needed some aproval from her. All I am saying is why say something you obviously dont mean, makes me more mad then if you said hey things wont work out we can still hang out if you want but there is no chance of us having a relationship. That would work for me I am not going to cry or anything, not going to freak out and call you all the time. But dont expect to cry on my shoulder when things dont work out with the new guy your dating. | |
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Sarahv
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Joined: 1/29/2006
Msg: 16 | |
| Is there anything worse
Posted: 2/12/2006 10:24:18 PM | sweety stop being a doormat and start finding someone who wants you . I'm sure she is waiting for you somewhere , I'm sure someone is waiting for all of us somewhere.
Tee, I heard .......... peace beautiful , let me check......... I have nothing else to do . let me know . | |
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| Is there anything worse
Posted: 2/12/2006 11:04:55 PM | OMG!!!
NO!!!
I can think of nothing worse!!!
Perspective dude, perspective! | |
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| Is there anything worse
Posted: 2/12/2006 11:37:22 PM | A few years ago someone I went on a couple of dates with told me she wanted to be friends... it was tempting to blow her off, but we stayed in touch, met up every now and then talked occassionally. A few weeks later she set me up with a friend of hers and we hit it off big time.
To the OP, yes, there is something worse than what happened to you - starting a thread about it and giving it a vague subject line.
I have a pet peeve about people who feel the need to "trick" you into reading their thread by posting a vague and provacative headline. You're supposed to be able to tell what the thread is about by reading the subject! Of course, people are afraid no one will want to read their thread so they resort to childish games.
For example, a good title for this thread might have been:
"She just wants to be friends, woe is me." | |
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| Is there anything worse
Posted: 2/12/2006 11:49:43 PM | | Tee your right on the ball there.. I totally agree with you.. :) | |
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| Is there anything worse
Posted: 2/13/2006 12:55:04 AM | It could be worse.....she may be using you as plan B. Maybe that's what that means?
I prefer the brush off over being Plan B. B's get phone call's every few weeks for
the "catch up" calls...waste of time - NEXT! | |
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| Is there anything worse
Posted: 2/13/2006 1:27:28 AM | | there are many things worse. It just means the person isn't attracted to you (though you might be very goodlooking too). I have met many men who I get on great with and I absolutely love them and was attracted to them as friends from the start, but I would never want it to be any more than that. | |
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| Is there anything worse
Posted: 2/13/2006 1:55:22 AM | Like women .
men dont know what they want.
it makes most men mad that women are never real with them.
they always cover something up in a decietful way with the intent to not hurt your feelings .
but instead it makes a guy mad.
but for the few times in life i seen females be real about it instead of mad it kills the guy inside and makes him feel small and they regret it ever got ot there.
so all in all i say if she comes with good intent get over wanting her either take her as a friend or tell her you,ll be on your way and take her out of your life by moving on. | |
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| Is there anything worse
Posted: 2/13/2006 2:19:47 AM | | Women get off on a guy who just wants to get in their pants. They don't want a guy who is compatible for sex. They want a guy who is going to hurt them. They are the accursed, and they think love has to hurt to be real. When she gives up herself to him, and then he treats her like dirt, she complains to everyone, but deep down inside she is thinking, 'it wouldn't hurt so much if it wasn't real love.' If a man can't hurt a woman she doesn't think the love is real. A woman is more concerned with what she believes than what will make her happy. If you want sex, which is a bad thing for unmarried people, you have to not care about her feelings, but act like you do. Say all the right things, but don't share anything about yourself. Just brag, but be humble about it. Let her give you a lead in. When the opportunity arises naturally, tout yourself to her. Whenever she says anything, agree. It really shouldn't matter what a woman believes on a date. You know what you want. You aren't going to get it by arguing with her. Be confident, hopeful, optimistic, agreeable, humble, classy, smooth, and don't take any crap from her. Women all like a little discipline when they get out of hand. Make sure you always have the upper hand. Never fall so hard you are willing to give up authority to her. You make the decisions, but support all her beliefs, and don't forget what she believes. If you remember her likes and dislikes, she will automatically assume everything you do is to please her. Let her think this is the case. Always agree, unless she tries to make a decision. If she does try to tell you what to do, be gentle. Don't pounce like you were waiting for it. Just say, "I think I'll decide that. When I'm finished I'll let you know what I decided." If she throws a fit, tell her to get lost. Never let her see you sweat. Just dump her flat, no questions. She will change her tune right away. If you have convictions a woman will respect you. If you don't know what you believe until you know what she believes, you are a wimp. Women can tell when a man is just agreeing to get in her pants. They really get into that. They know you are going to hurt them, and it makes you look tough. Otherwise, if you want a well balanced woman, go to church. Catholic Churches have a lot of single women because Catholics go to church when they are single. Catholic believe in Jesus Christ. Catholic women respect themselves, and good men. | |
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