| We've all dealt with this, advice please
Posted: 2/12/2006 12:39:12 PM | I'm a guy who can hold a conversation with just about anyone. I've been told by many dates that I'm polite, attractive, funny and smart. I've gotten pretty good at the date part of dating.
The part I always seem to get hung up on is at the end of the night when we've both had a pretty good time and I'm dropping her off. That's right, I'm talking about the dreaded "moment". To kiss or not to kiss, that is the question.
Now, if there is crazy chemistry and she's giving off a ton of fairly clear signals that a kiss would be welcome then it's a no-brainer for me. But most of the time it isn't that easy and I'm not sure.
For whatever reason I always seem to lock up and just leave without trying a kiss, which puts more pressure on me at the end of the second date.
Can anyone throw out some input on how others approach this? I'd be interested in what other guys have done but I'd also be very interested in what women think too.
Thanks. | |
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| We've all dealt with this, advice please
Posted: 2/12/2006 12:44:45 PM | First off, dont be ashamed to not kiss on the 1st date. I sure would want to be kissed the first date but then again, when I do kiss on the 1st date, usually the 2nd date there is not chemistry.
You seem like a true gentleman and not kissing on the 1st date isnt the end of the world.
Maybe you are just not 100% comfortable with that person. yeah she wants you to kiss her but do u really want to? By the time the 2nd date comes around, u might be more inclined to kiss her.
If a guy doesnt want to kiss me the 1st time, I may think he is not interested. IF he calls me up to ask me out again, then I dont see why I would be upset about not getting that kiss.
Maybe they should make the move to kiss u instead of you stressing out.
if you worry about that KISS.. then it may not be a good one and the girl may see that. | |
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| We've all dealt with this, advice please
Posted: 2/12/2006 2:02:21 PM | I'm not ashamed for not making a move on the first date. It's just sometimes awkward only because someone (generally the guy) has to break from the usual goodnight conversation and make the first move.
I know not kissing on the first date isn't the end of the world but I'm just wondering about how to make it a little less awkward or if there is some technique that some fellas use to help them transition into it.
Sometimes, it's just as simple as making eye contact, drawing close and leaning in, but many times it's not even that easy.
I'm surprised no guys have any hints or advice on how to conquer this challenge. | |
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| We've all dealt with this, advice please
Posted: 2/12/2006 2:07:25 PM | ok maybe this will help...
if a guy is to make a move on me.. well I say give a goodnight hug and usually when u pull away, there is a look in the eyes... if u feel the passion or an intense feeling.. then go for it. | |
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| We've all dealt with this, advice please
Posted: 2/12/2006 2:09:51 PM | | I see your point but you're talking about a split second window where the guy has to catch an eye and determine if it is a "look" and then make a move. That's tough for most. | |
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| We've all dealt with this, advice please
Posted: 2/12/2006 2:13:38 PM | wellif u think the girl is interested, I dont see why she wont want the kiss.
so she rejects you, if you take it bad shell see it and wont want anything to do with you. If you accept the fact she rejected you, she might just feel guilty at the end of the night. | |
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| We've all dealt with this, advice please
Posted: 2/12/2006 2:18:11 PM | | Ok so this is what you do - when you drop her off, see her to the door (guys, you get MAJOR points for this!) then go in for a hug, hug her, as you pull away kiss her on the cheek. If she wants you to go in for the real kiss, she will hold on to you a little longer. You are already intimately close so there is no pressure as to whether or not you should "go in for the kiss", right?, you're already there! | |
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| We've all dealt with this, advice please
Posted: 2/12/2006 5:07:54 PM | These are the types of ninja techniques that I'd like to hear about from people.
Well, I've got a second date coming up with a dating interest. I didn't go in for the kiss the first time but I won't let that happen again (assuming I'm not getting a "no way" vibe). | |
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| We've all dealt with this, advice please
Posted: 2/12/2006 5:21:11 PM | 2nd date give her a kiss on the cheek to start with.
At dinner (sitting next to each other, not acrossed from) tell her :"Come here, you have something on your upper lip, let me get that, move in and fix the problem with a soft tender short kiss."
Either she laughs and blushes  or she gets mad and red  .
I'll laugh either way.  | |
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| We've all dealt with this, advice please
Posted: 2/12/2006 6:20:23 PM | | If you don't kiss her by then at least once you might as well call it a friend date and give her a handshake and say " let's do lunch " Is this the fifties ? women want some motivation ? let's call it "man"livation !! if she slaps you do it again ... If she breaks your nose it's a good time to go home :) | |
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| We've all dealt with this, advice please
Posted: 2/12/2006 6:21:46 PM | | Body launguage. Touch the persons arm earlier in the night or hand and see if they move near you or move away. I can always tell when a person is interested in me by watching there distance from me and how they lean into me and the eye contact. I have never delt with that problem at the end of a date. I have not really dated to much more relationships though. Usually it happens before the end of the date the kissing i would think... if you dont get a signal you can always give a hug or kiss on the cheek and be safe. | |
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| We've all dealt with this, advice please
Posted: 2/12/2006 7:59:29 PM | Stop talking, make eye contact and smile. glance down at her lips and then back up to her eyes.
Say "Wow, your hair looks so soft!" and reach over and just touch it briefly while you glace from her eyes to her lips a couple times.
Pull your hand away and smile. If she smiles and doesn't pull away, again reach over again and stroke it this time. Say "Yes, very soft" but don't pull away this time. Do the lips/eye glance again. If she says smiling and doesn't pull away again I'd lean in a little.
No bad vibes until this point? You should be good to go.
I find there is way to much pressure to wait to the door... before the door but near the end is a good time. | |
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