| | Are there any parents with special needs kids?Page 1 of 6 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6) | | How do you balance the needs of the child and trying to date at the same time? My son is Autistic and he just doesn't understand a lot that goes on around him. His father babies him, so when he comes back to me, he wants everything done for im. I can rarely find a sitter that can last two hours with him...Many men shy off when they find out I have a special needs kid. | |
|
| Are there any parents with special needs kids?
Posted: 2/17/2006 4:10:35 PM | | my son has downs syndrome and i find it very to date my self most men dont not understand why i have to spend so much time caring for his needs .and they have no desire to spend time with me if i am at home with my son i have had baby sitters also but find they have no patience. | |
|
| Are there any parents with special needs kids?
Posted: 2/17/2006 6:10:23 PM | | My daughter has Autism, and type 1 diabetes, I can't get a babysitter for her, because, she takes so many insulin shots during the day, and night. I have my parents babysit so i can go to college. Most guys run when the hear about her needs. Her father did, and still wants nothing to do with her. My daughter is unable to communicate properly, and she only mimics what you say to her. | |
|
| Are there any parents with special needs kids?
Posted: 2/17/2006 9:09:03 PM | I have a daughter with autism. I had to give up dating altogether while she was still aggressive. The aggression finally died down when she started talking at 4. Before that she had a tendency to grab other children by the hair when she felt threatened. Made it very difficult to go out in public. Trying to date as a single parent is difficult enough. What makes this particularly difficult is that it makes it hard to date single moms with young children like my own.
Babysitting can be difficult as well. She’s really quite easy now, but the stigma attached to special needs children automatically raises the price and people make assumptions. | |
|
| Are there any parents with special needs kids?
Posted: 2/17/2006 10:51:30 PM | | My daughter has CHARGE syndrome. Finding child care is hard enough.... for some reason people freak when they hear she is special needs. On the other hand, the ones who have spent time with her fall absolutely in love with her. I let myself get so caught up in taking care of her and my son, (as well as dealing with some personal issues that I should have put behind me years ago) that I pretty much forgot what a date even is. I haven't even really spent time just hanging with "the guys" I'm just now beginning to get a social life going. The church I'm attending now has given me the most encouragement I've ever had in my life. Surround yourselves with positive people. It makes all the difference in the world. I know it has for me. | |
|
| Are there any parents with special needs kids?
Posted: 2/18/2006 6:41:46 AM | my daughter was diagnosed with epilepsy this past september. She has only had 3 major seizures and her little ones just consist of her staring off into space or looking deep in thought for a minuite or two. It hasn't scared a guy off from dating me yet but to find a babysitter who not only has first aid/cpr and who is comfortable with the idea that she may seize while in thier care is proving to be next to impossible. My parents take her quite a bit durring breaks from school, long weekends, summer, etc but aside from that just to hire a normal sitter once in a while...they want paid double and are next to impossible to find.
no sitter= difficulty being able to go on a date. | |
|
| |
| Are there any parents with special needs kids?
Posted: 2/18/2006 8:05:36 AM | I have an 18 yr old daughter who is developmentally delayed and I think most men are slightly freaked by this thought since it clearly means that I am going to have a "child" forever. I will work towards her independence but the truth is she is likely to be dependent on me forever to some degree.
Add two more kids to the mix and most men run like hell.. LOL
My ex didn't deal with it well so I dont' have high hopes that another man will either. I can date but I've limited myself to "exclusive friendships" as opposed to finding love in all the right places. It seems to work better for both when there are no expectations. I have alot in my life to deal with and I want a friend/lover who I can spend time with, enjoy each other's company, but not have to change my entire world for or make my first priority. | |
|
| Are there any parents with special needs kids?
Posted: 2/18/2006 9:07:37 AM | My daughter has Down Syndrom. I have found that if people have never been around others like her ,they get scared. But after they get to know her everyone loves her. She is the coolest kid ever. LOL Thats a mom speaking huh?
She has done so much more than they expected so it excites me. If a guy doesn't want to be a part of the life God has choosen for me and my daughters(I have 3) then that is his loss. It can be frustrating though because people just aren't educated enough about these typse of things. Seems we're always scared of the unknown.
Most will follow your lead. For example, some parents have their on issues with having a child that is special. Not everyone but I have met a few. So remember you set the stage as to how someone treats you and your situation. If your approach to your child is positive and you show the love that is in your family then a good person would be attracted to that. If you make it seem like its a problem then he /she will follow your lead and feel like its a problem. Hope that makes since.
I know it sucks sometimes because it is harder for us.....there is a reason for it though. We may not know what it is right now but we are the ones who are lucky. We have been blessed with these angles. I know some needs are harder to deal with than others but just know that there is always some else that has it harder than you do. Ask yourself this...would you trade all the good and joy that most "normal" families don't get to experiance because they don't have a person like this in their famliy? They don't have people like this in their lives...to me thats sad for the normal families. My daughters laugh everyday. My daughter is 14 so watching this pretty girl become a teenager...lets just say i bet my house laughs more than most.
I've said it many times and I'll say it again. People tell me they're so sorry to hear that I have a special child. My response is always "Pls don't feel sorry for me....we feel lucky and sorry for all the folks who have never had the opportunity to experiance the innocence and pure soul these kids have.
We are the blessed ones....know that. | |
|
| Are there any parents with special needs kids?
Posted: 2/18/2006 6:09:40 PM | She is the coolest kid ever. LOL Thats a mom speaking huh?
Sorry...but I have to disagree there.... my daughter is the coolest kid ever... he he he JK
The interesting thing about her is that her name is Sara... that means "God has made me laugh". On a regular basis....she will bust out literally rolling on the floor laughing for no apparent reason. She is such a trip. I've often wondered if I wasn't Divinely inspired to name her.
What are some unusual neat traits about your kids?? | |
|
| Are there any parents with special needs kids?
Posted: 2/18/2006 6:17:43 PM | | I don't have any special needs children myself but I work with some for a living. Right now I work with 2 Autistic boys, an Autistic girl, 2 girls with Cerebral Palsy and a Globally Delayed boy. They are all wonderful children with hearts of gold. The Globally Delayed boy can only say 3 words with absolute clarity and wouldn't you know that one of those words is BEER!..lol This just kills his poor Mother who has worked so hard with him on his speech...lol Of all the words for him to pick up on...lol | |
|
| Are there any parents with special needs kids?
Posted: 2/18/2006 6:25:34 PM | What great outlooks from some of the above posters. We recognize that our children, special needs or not, are gifts and treasures. Don't pity us, envy us 
My son has ADHD and CAPD, which is a processing disorder. He's the sweetest and most affectionate little chicklet in the whole world though and I wouldn't trade him for the world. For the most part, the men that I've allowed to be part of my life have seen the strength I have in raising him, my positive outlook, and my parenting skills, and have not been scared off. That being said, I've only introduced two boyfriends in five years to my children. | |
|
| Are there any parents with special needs kids?
Posted: 2/18/2006 6:36:17 PM | I dont have a special needs child, I dont have any kids actually, but i live with my sister and her 3 year old. My neice's other aunt, is 18 and she has a variety of problems, she is special needs as well. She has seizures - blankly staring off into space, eyes rolling back, ect- anger problems, autism im not sure how severe, but..
What Im getting at, is the mother enrolled her into a program for other kids like her. They have -workers- basically college or university students who are working towards degree's in the `special needs field` and the mother pays them to watch the daughter, while she goes out, either on dates, or to do errands. They are rather costly, however, the organization pays the girls as well, so in reality, the mother only pays about $3 an hour for the services.
They are trained and alot better than sitters who are not.
Look into somthing like that in your area :)
If possible :) | |
|
kymbie
| | Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 14 | |
| Are there any parents with special needs kids?
Posted: 2/18/2006 6:40:55 PM | amsta...that is really good advice that i wouldnt' have otherwize thought of...its so hard to find a sitter for a kid who has seizures...i dont want to just bring someone into my home for my epileptic daughter who is going to try to hold her down or shove things in her mouth etc. as those kinds of reactions can cause more harm than good. Now that i read your posting it brings to mind perhaps hiring a nursing student or someone like that to babysitt
thanks for the wonderful idea. | |
|
| |
| Are there any parents with special needs kids?
Posted: 4/16/2006 1:49:18 PM | My oldest son has severe epilepsy and is learning delayed.
Although he is 16, metally he is about 7.
He is a great kid, my fishing buddy.
I find it hard to explain to women that we can't go out because my son has had a bad day.
I find it almost impossible to go out anymore.
My ex is useless if I ask her to watch him so I can have some time for myself.
I think her boyfriend is intimadated by him.
I have been trying to get with some of the other parents from his class and do some trading so we can all have some "Adult" time for ourselves.
Now if the women would quit freaking out when he desides to show off, life would be so much better. He can be a clown sometimes.
The thing is, if he has paper to draw on and color, you'd never even know he was here.
Scott | |
|
ams42
| | Joined: 3/12/2006
Msg: 17 | |
| Are there any parents with special needs kids?
Posted: 4/16/2006 4:06:01 PM | I have a 17 year old son who suffered a stroke at birth. He has cerebral palsy, developmentally delayed, has epilepsy and ADD. It's hard to find proper care for him so that I can go out. Would be very interested intalking with other parents of special needs kiddos. This forum is great!
Anita | |
|
| Are there any parents with special needs kids?
Posted: 4/17/2006 6:43:19 AM | I have 2 kids with an Overgrowth Syndrome - the oldest also has ADHD/ODD, with some autistic traits due to the OS.
I just started "dating" so I don't know how that will play out - but I am already finding it difficult to find the time - but I'm sure that part of that is due to having 3 kids, not just special needs kids.
Krystal | |
|
| Are there any parents with special needs kids?
Posted: 4/17/2006 6:54:39 AM | | All of my children ar "hard of hearing" its debatable wether or not they will all go completely deaf. Its something hearing aids and operations dont help. They were born with a loss of 40% loss at certain tones. | |
|
| Are there any parents with special needs kids?
Posted: 4/17/2006 10:22:50 AM | I am a single, working mom of 3 sons, one is 14 involved in Minor hockey and Lacrosse and Ball hockey, my next is almost 11, he had a developmental delay (not very noctiable now though) involved as a goalie in hockey and lacrosse and social butterfly lol, and my youngest son is now 9 with severe Autism, he keeps me running with exercise therapy and swimming lessons, plus the one on one needed to help him cope with the various challenges associated with his disorder.
Dating hasn't been a problem for me with the boys as of yet.I am extremely fortunate to have a very active ex, who takes them on weekends and coaches their sports teams, and my support network consists of friends and family who will watch the boys if I need to go out to meetings etc. I rarely go anywhere without my youngest, not that I mind, he is a blast to hang out with. Sporting events keep me from dating often lol....not the special needs!
The sweet man I am currently dating (whom I met on POF by the way) has met my boys, and hasn't gone running yet lol. I am very open and honest about what things can get like, but for the most part our home life is quiet and happy, with just a few little differences than other families without Special needs children. I think anyone worth a grain of salt would understand, and if they were educated on the differences in children with a diagnosis, then there would not be too much of an issue.....just try to find time to be you....good luck! | |
|
| Are there any parents with special needs kids?
Posted: 4/17/2006 11:52:33 AM | | I have a daughter with TOF which is a CHD and is NG fed, it is really hard to find a sitter for her let alone someone that does not go running when they hear about it. | |
|
| Are there any parents with special needs kids?
Posted: 4/17/2006 1:14:09 PM | You Know You Have A Child With Special Needs When...
- You compare ER's instead of grocery stores.
- You compare your child's oxygen saturations.
- You view toys as "therapy.'
- You don't take a new day for granted.
- You teach your child HOW to pull things out of the cupboard, off the bookcases, and that feeding the dog from the table is fun.
- The clothes your infant wore last fall still fit her this fall.
- Everything is an educational opportunity instead of just having plain old fun.
- You cheer instead of scold when they blow bubbles in their juice while sitting at the dinner table (that's speech therapy), smear ketchup all over their high chair (that's OT), or throw their toys (that's PT).
- You also don't mind if your child goes through the house tooting a tin whistle.
- You fired at least 3 pediatricians and can teach your family doctor a thing or two.
- You have been told you are "in denial" by at least 3 medical or therapy professionals. This makes you laugh!
- You have that incredible sinking feeling that you've forgotten SOMETHING on those few days that you don't have some sort of appointment somewhere!
- You get irritated when friends with healthy kids complain about ONE sleepless night when they're child is ill!
- Your vocabulary consists of all the letters OT, PT, SP, ASD, VSD, IFSP, etc.
- You keep your appointment with the specialist even though a tropical storm is raging because you just want to get this one over with.....you waited 8 months to get it.....and besides, no one else will be there!
- Fighting and wrestling with siblings is considered PT.
- Speech therapy occurs in the tub with a sibling.
- When the Doctors/Specialist/Hospitals etc. all know you by your name without referring to your chart.
- You keep a daily growth chart.
- You calculate monthly statistics for the number of times your child vomits, and did this for more then one year.
- Her medical file is two inches and growing. | |
|
| Are there any parents with special needs kids?
Posted: 4/17/2006 1:54:52 PM | {He's the sweetest and most affectionate little chicklet in the whole world though and I wouldn't trade him for the world. For the most part, the men that I've allowed to be part of my life have seen the strength I have in raising him, my positive outlook, and my parenting skills, and have not been scared off. That being said, I've only introduced two boyfriends in five years to my children.}
Good for you for filtering who can part be of your child's life. In the grand scheme of things, it benefits both you and the child. My daughter is 20 and is absolutley the light of my life. She has taught me more than I will ever teach her. Her simplistic way of seeing things makes me stand up and take notice. She seems to have a special gauge to notice the most subtle things. She's an absolute joy. She has become more and more independant over the years which has allowed me to spread my wings. I totally believe my dedication to her in her younger years has paid off 100 fold. Good things do come to those who wait. | |
|
| Are there any parents with special needs kids?
Posted: 4/17/2006 5:04:31 PM | Hello there. I have a son with Tourette, {which encompasses alot including mood disorders, OCD, depression etc}Epilepsy, Asthma and Learning disabilities. My daughter too has ADHD and some emotional problems. Their Dad abandonded them 10 years ago so basically I have done it alone. Dating is nearly impossible for me. I have anxiety if I leave them with anyone. My parents watch them when I work, casual, so I feel I cannot burden them with the kids, also they are not very patient at times. I get so sad sometimes because I really miss having a friend here to at least talk to. I used to have some respite but that was cancelled. I am in Victoria BC. Anyways I have practically given up on finding a kind man who will understand. My friends say I am a good person and deserve to have some fun but how?? I guess I will just accept the way it is..........I am also low income so paying a sitter alot of money is impossible, I need to buy meds and food first! | |
|
ams42
| | Joined: 3/12/2006
Msg: 25 | |
| |
Home
login 
