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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > Why Do Men Say "I Love You" & then dump you later?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 jillmac71
Joined: 2/17/2006
Msg: 1
Why Do Men Say "I Love You" & then dump you later?Page 1 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
Why do men say "I Love You' and then dump you later on?

LOVE is many things.
LOVE is a feeling.
LOVE is an action.
LOVE is a strong powerful 4 letter word that is commonly misused and abused by too many people.
TRUE LOVE NEVER DIES.
TRUE LOVE CAN NEVER TURN INTO HATRED.
Unfortunately, not too many people know what true love really is.
Therefore without knowing what love is, it's impossible to give love & recieve love.

Why are men afraid to show a woman their love with their actions?Why can't men walk the way they talk?From now on when a man says "I LOVE YOU" to me, I will laugh at him and treat him like a joke.He could say those 3 magic words to me a million times and it won't mean anything significant to me UNLESS he shows me his genuine love for me with his actions.Words alone are not enough & actions speak louder than words.
 coolgirl223
Joined: 1/28/2006
Msg: 2
Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 2/18/2006 1:37:00 PM
AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!
 opinionator
Joined: 2/16/2006
Msg: 3
Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 2/18/2006 1:41:18 PM
You start out with an unrealistic ideal of love, and then after a failed relationship you jump right into foreswearing love ever again. I think you are going about this wrong.
 dcbtxldy
Joined: 2/11/2006
Msg: 4
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Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 2/18/2006 1:44:11 PM
I agree with Jillmac. I was told these words by my dumper, just three short weeks ago, while he was talking to my replacement......
 vrobx
Joined: 2/18/2006
Msg: 5
Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 2/18/2006 1:45:14 PM
Umm...I admit it. I don't know what love is. I know what it isn't but can't really say I know what it is.
 jillmac71
Joined: 2/17/2006
Msg: 6
Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 2/18/2006 2:10:41 PM
Opinionator, I understand that love itself is not enough to make a relationship work.But your comment about "you start out with an unrealistic ideal of love " goes back to my comment " Not too many people know what true love is."
 opinionator
Joined: 2/16/2006
Msg: 7
Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 2/18/2006 2:26:34 PM
Everyone loves in their own way. There is no universal principle of True Love. That is an ideal that exists outside of actual experience. To approach men with this ideal of True Love and then discount how they do love is a losing strategy. Everyone who loves knows what love is. Cling to your idea but the next guy won't be going by it either. He will be loving the way it comes from his heart, and won't measure up.

Life is to be lived out where it happens, with real people as they come. It's not for hiding back in your own daydreams and fantasies venturing out only enough to confirm your own private assumptions about why you don't have the life you dream of. Blame men, blame their ideas, and so on, and you'll grow old alone unhappy because that one perfect man who knows what True Love is never comes along to knock down your door, climb the stairs, push his way into your bedroom and drag you from where you are hiding under your bed.

Real people, real feelings, are the bases of real relationships. It works much better to learn to relate to people as they are than to hold out for an imaginary lover who matches your private dreams of romance.

When you play the fairy-tale game, you turn away normal men and invite the wolfish ones who prey on overly sentimental women. These are the only men who spout garbage like you see in movies on the Hallmark channel. They say the right things to play your emotions, then use you, then leave. Your dream is to find one who will be that smarmy but then stay to live out the rest of the dream. It doesn’t happen, Men are not like that in real life. They have romantic moments, but they also have boring moments and get crabby and so on. If a man seems like Prince Charming he is playing your hopes to get something from you.
 mogrl
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 8
Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 2/18/2006 3:17:08 PM
hmm,they change their minds?????
 manical
Joined: 9/19/2005
Msg: 9
Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 2/18/2006 3:23:49 PM
because they don't have the balls or the love to handle it as I do.
 KinkyCapitalist
Joined: 11/2/2005
Msg: 10
Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 2/18/2006 3:24:13 PM
Because it bwould be dumb to dump you 1st?
 Mike Anthony
Joined: 10/23/2005
Msg: 11
Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 2/18/2006 3:32:56 PM
I guess the same reason women say I love you and then dump you later....
 jillmac71
Joined: 2/17/2006
Msg: 12
Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 2/18/2006 3:40:57 PM
Mogrl, Yes men change do their minds and I don't have a problem with them changing their minds about the relationship itself but I do have a problem with them changing their mind about their love.Love is not a switch that you turn on & off.Love is 4ever!
 vicwhit
Joined: 2/12/2006
Msg: 13
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Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 2/18/2006 3:41:33 PM
Its not only men, but women do too. I live in a world alone because the trust that failed. I still dont believe all women are out to pasify thier own desires and take what they can. Then move on to next poor sap. But I do know that I with 52 years of a very gental heart I cant change has found love 6 times, ever time she has taken and moved on within less then a week had some other guy hooked. But you know I still love the female friends I have and someday hope for the perfect mate. But I dont look anymore, thats an adventure of heart breaks I can do without. I dont need a inernet female that is married and wants to play, I dont need a female that cant life with her bills and wants a patsy, I dont need a female who is depending on other income to set and watch TV. I sure dont want one to have kids. You want honesty, I am disabled now from heart attacks caused by working hard and long hours, ruptured disk from hard labor in my early years to give all she wanted, even nerves that create mental anger thats under control. All done by the female. But you know what, I still love the feel of her face in my hands, the smooth curve of her body, or just the smile on her lips and know I put it there. The reason I am good at it, is because of the heart that beats inside me. So broken hearts are caused by men and women. I am just sorry I am eather. I will plan for a future and tomorrow I will rise against the sun. I will make the day a complete one. I will go to my web site and write a poem or two when I am said or happy. But I will never give up on love, humor, or life. I can be your friend, and never hate. So hugs and kisses, from a single male. http://www.geocities.com/vicwhit/main.html
 manical
Joined: 9/19/2005
Msg: 14
Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 2/18/2006 3:43:03 PM
because they don't have the balls or the love to handle it as I do.
 TiredofBS
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 15
Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 2/18/2006 3:44:45 PM
You might have missed 1...True love is...Unconditional !! But since I've never done that in my life to Any Lady...It really doesn't apply to me. I wouldn't know how. Just my 2 cents. JD
 happytobesingle
Joined: 2/13/2006
Msg: 16
Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 2/18/2006 3:46:25 PM
Because they've probably heard alot about the "Feminist" ways of the western world and their unfair laws against men - they're scared and don't want to get burned like so many others.

Also trading-up to a FW where hatred of Feminism, AW, and WW exist amongst them.

Sorry to sound like this, but it's reality happening all over - just look at one of the latest Magazines that Connecticut Men are on a Marriage Strike because of the VERY unfair laws against them.

This response can be used in many threads here in POF as it's a very universal one that covers many questions/concerns.
 DreamLover19
Joined: 1/29/2006
Msg: 17
Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 2/18/2006 3:49:31 PM
Well i can think of 2 reasons... either he doesnt know what love is and says it to get the girl... or they do know what love is... and something happened, (either she didnt love him back, or whatever), and since he can't have the one he loves, after many years becomes desperate to have a girl and since she wants somebody who loves her, that is what he needs to say to be able to have her, after all he is human and needs to have somebody. Just because he can't have a particular person he wanted doesnt mean he doesnt have the right to have anybody else because true love comes once or whatever.

So dont even try to solve the problem because the root of the problem begins much deeper, so to change these guys you're talking about, you need to change the way girls who treat guys who love them just coz she doesnt love him. and nobody can change that.

sorry if what i said sounded bias n offensive, but im just trying to explain from these guys' point of view
 not_texan
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 18
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Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 2/18/2006 3:53:57 PM
He said he loved you, he didn't say he was in love with you.

There are different degrees of love.

Don't be an idealist, be a realist.
 cee4
Joined: 1/12/2006
Msg: 19
Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 2/18/2006 4:01:19 PM
Don't even try to understand men. Truly, they are pretty much all the same. Driven / motivated by one thing. However, I'm still hopeful there is one out there that is just that little bit different.
 opinionator
Joined: 2/16/2006
Msg: 20
Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 2/18/2006 4:03:07 PM
No, we are just walking sperm dispensers.
 HaveYouMetHayden
Joined: 12/17/2004
Msg: 21
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Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 2/18/2006 4:04:40 PM
I think opinionator is pretty spot on.

Love is an idea, not a set stone instinct. The word love is just organised pixels on your screen, sound energy when you hear the word. The meaning of love exists only in your head!

The guy could be wanting to love you, wanting to treat you right or waiting till he could run because you have such unrealistic expectations. Don't think that guys are such meanies over this. It will have happened to most guys and probably done worse.

So move on, or wait till you love yourself truly, then others will easily.
 1inamillion7
Joined: 11/23/2005
Msg: 22
Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 2/18/2006 4:07:44 PM
I never had that happen me so I dont know. Janis Joplin sang get it while you can. Dont turn your back on love. Hey you know what Honey men and women are more alike than you think. Men have feeling just like us.
 lone56wolf
Joined: 2/16/2006
Msg: 23
Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 2/18/2006 4:10:52 PM
1inamillion7 ... you truly ARE one in a million....

Steve
 Neville_1940
Joined: 12/29/2005
Msg: 24
Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 2/18/2006 4:14:56 PM
Well Mr. not texan, you have the right idea..Real Love is being INLOVE with a person..A man first tells a woman he loves her as the feelings are in his genes ( oops misspelt that, should read Jeans) and its a feeling that just wants to burst forth. After it has, and after a time of getting to know each other, then maybe stronger feelings may arise and TRUE LOVE only comes after some years. Falling INLOVE within a month or two or three, just does not happen for the Man, more likely LUST, and the urge to get into some knickers.
 michchick
Joined: 11/9/2005
Msg: 25
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Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 2/18/2006 4:15:41 PM
Because all men are ****ing liars! OK ****em all! Im done!!
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