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| can people really remain platonic friends with x's
Posted: 2/19/2006 12:21:40 PM | yes me and my ex are still good friends and get on really well, we were together 12 years and always manage to meet up at least once a week..... even the guys, i have not been in long term relationships with are still good friends.... just because we were not right for each other dont mean we have to ignore each other.....  | |
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| can people really remain platonic friends with x's
Posted: 2/19/2006 12:23:14 PM | Even if my relationship has ended nicely, i've not stayed friends with any of my ex's.
Obviously there's a reason to why we've split up, i don't want to see them again, what's the point, for me when it's over it's 
Inless you've got children, then it's good to try be friends for their sake... | |
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| can people really remain platonic friends with x's
Posted: 2/19/2006 12:33:26 PM | | Yeah, my ex-wife and I are best mates, feels like a brother/sister relationship these days. We've known each other for 23 years and share loadsa friends and a son. We go to the same parties, often take our son on a day out and I stay at our house whenever I want. Confuses the heck outa our partners but works for us and our friends and our son. | |
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| can people really remain platonic friends with x's
Posted: 2/19/2006 12:35:28 PM | this has been eating away at me for a couple of days now and can't figure out if my guy is telling the truth, my bf has been with he's x for 6years, it didn't work out. However they had a place together and neither of them could afford to move so they continued to live together in a one bed flat.
I've met her and all, been round to thier place a few times too, recently he has moved out into a rented place though he manages to go back once or more times a week to hers to company her.
On valentines she called, she was depressed cos she was alone, they were on the phone for a couple of hours which left him in tears after cos she is very down. In the end valentines didn't really happen between us two then
how does this sound, you think this can be real, a true platonic relationship?? | |
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| can people really remain platonic friends with x's
Posted: 2/19/2006 1:13:41 PM | Hi Dancin_Flames,
Just cruising the forums, have not yet been here before, but can I tell you what I think?
Sounds to me you'll always be the third wheel. As long as he doesn't up the last relationship, he should never start a new one, and to me, this sounds like the easy way.
It could well be she's vulnerable and depressed, but help should not come from the reason she's depressed, but from someone else (actually from within) But as long as he keeps on going there, she won't get to mourn, and neither will he.
When a relationship ends, it's like someone died. Something has died...the relationship. You have to let it in, feel it, before you can accept it and move on.
As long as you keep it open, there will be no mourning, and there will be no moving on.
So....as hard as it is, my advice would be to ask him to make a choice.
If he gets upset with you, saying your heartless and cold, tell him that those are your conditions, if he ever wants it to work out for you. Tell him he doesn't need to come back, until he has made his choice. If he really really wants this to work, he'll see you're right. And he'll come to you.
If not....he's just not that into you! Not to mention, he's not worthy of you!
You're worth 100%, not whenever he feels like it....or whenever the x doesn't seem to need him that much.
( You could read the book "He's just not that into you"? (If you haven't already) It's by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccilo)
This is only my two cents worth. Sorry if I offended, was not my intention.
Take care,
Lisa | |
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| can people really remain platonic friends with x's
Posted: 2/19/2006 2:14:14 PM | platonic means no sex so that didn't count, thanks for the input though
I see what you mean completely Lisa, that's what my feelings are too, just he is adament that she is just a mate and people don't sleep with mates. Not the one that likes to give choices between people, he will see it as me asking him to drop a good friend. It doesn't feel nice bein second place 
Right where's all the lovely guys hiding I'm out on a hunt now  
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| can people really remain platonic friends with x's
Posted: 3/4/2006 5:27:09 AM | It all depends on the person involved, some can handle it otheres cant, if one can't let go then no it wont work but if both know it was a none runner then thats it. You have to decide if they are being truthfull with you and also with themselfs.
Me I never could cope with, though I keep thinking to try and make peace perhaps one day ? as they say time is a great healer? | |
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| can people really remain platonic friends with x's
Posted: 3/4/2006 5:31:30 AM | yes . i still live in the same house as my ex sleep in spare room she has a fella but doesnt stay at the house . 2 reasons one is that i coudnt move out becoz of personal reasons and 2 we wanted to wait until my daughter was older . but it seems to be ok although sometimes you have to bite thelip . and after 15yrs it is a bit of a wrench just grew outa love shame but life goes on  | |
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| can people really remain platonic friends with x's
Posted: 3/4/2006 10:42:04 AM | I dont think so, as one of the early posts said - you split up for a reason!
Im divorced and have kids and so ideally need to be at least civil with my ex - but even that doesnt work and its been nearly 3 years!!! | |
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| can people really remain platonic friends with x's
Posted: 3/4/2006 11:47:29 AM | I was with my ex for nearly 18 years so yes I think you can especially with kids involved
I see him at least once a week sometimes more - but we have a teenage son
I have no problems with him coming to the house or even staying over for the night (sons room not mine  ) - It is 100% over for us
We were both such a big part of each others life for so long - I know I could never go back with him he cheated on me his choice to do it ....
So he lives with what he has done.
I have met up with a few people totally different to him - I can't keep thinking what if for the rest of my life but I don't want to rush into anything either
Miss_BBW
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| can people really remain platonic friends with x's
Posted: 6/25/2006 2:14:14 PM | | me and my ex are friends although it was hard to start with as he went straight into a new relationship. But, as far as our kids are concerned we are still a family so we have to be friends. | |
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| can people really remain platonic friends with x's
Posted: 6/25/2006 3:46:26 PM | Remaining friends with your ex is so important if children are involved. Keeping good lines of communication open is essential to helping raise the children together. Children learn what they see and it's so much easier for them to adjust in a healthy way if they see you both getting along with each other rather than constantly tearing each other apart, often times making them feel in the middle or the blame!
I find it wonderful when any adult I'm involved with gets along with their ex. To me it shows definite signs of maturity and the abiltiy to keep things well balanced. It makes life so much more pleasant than having to hear them argue all the time or to watch one partner carry around bitter feelings for the rest of their life towards the other one.
I not only get along with my ex spouse, but I also remain friends with almost everyone I've ever gone out with. Friendships are important to me, especially good ones...and I'll never understand how two people can share so much of themselves during any given time in their lives, and then turn around and hate each other..or completely forget any of the good memories that they made together. I'll admit that some times with break ups it's not always easy at first when one or the other feels hurt, but with time, understanding, and sometimes a little work.... it's always more beneficial to go forward in life as friends rather than enemies! Life's too short for enemies!!  | |
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| can people really remain platonic friends with x's
Posted: 6/25/2006 3:54:12 PM | I think it all depends on how the relationship ended, and if you still fancy them.
I was having no problem staying friends with my ex, as I didn't really find her that attractive once we'd split up, and I realised that it could be something beneficial.
That was until she stole some of my furniture when she took her stuff with her, and I didn't know where she'd moved to.
I can see how it might be a problem for a lot of guys (who's brains live in their pants), if their ex was more attractive than their current g/f, but that wouldn't come into it for me.
Ed | |
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| can people really remain platonic friends with x's
Posted: 6/25/2006 4:46:43 PM | I have had a platonic friendship with an ex for 3 years now, in fact he's my best friend.
I'm am also still friends with my first husband, have socialised with him and his wife and he is always invited to family occassions.
So I guess the answer to your question is YES you can. | |
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