| Men.. Do you have to have the chase?
Posted: 2/26/2006 3:06:05 PM | Ok me and my aunt had a debate. She bought the book "he's just not into you" and come to some realizations. The book told her that a female should never approach the guy or go for him, cause if he is intrested he will come to you. Also that men have to have the chase regaurdless so play hard to get.
SHe also told me if the guy I like who doesnt live near me hasnt emailed me for four days that I should ditch him and move on ... I for one think thats petty... and I also am not the type to play games or hide how I feel. I just want to know what the male opinion is on this book and the brain washing...Is it a turn off for a girl to show intrest in u first or even when u have shown it in her.. do u really need to feel like ur hunting her down as she put it and conquering her. | |
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| Men.. Do you have to have the chase?
Posted: 2/26/2006 3:11:41 PM | | havent read the book but ive heard nothing but great things about it.i for one am not going to spend tht kind of money on a book tht i think may be hog wash. i feel tht if we do not approach a guy we like well never know if it could have gone anywhere,im all for going after wht i want. | |
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| Men.. Do you have to have the chase?
Posted: 2/26/2006 3:12:03 PM | | lol I read part of it... I was asking the MALE veiws throwing away something over not talking for four days long distance sounds a little exagerated to me | |
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JLG2
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Joined: 1/27/2006
Msg: 5 | |
| Men.. Do you have to have the chase?
Posted: 2/26/2006 3:16:37 PM | If you showed some interest in me I would be very flattered.
Now, my two cents about your question....
Yes, a guy must show interest in you, however it has limits. When I was younger I was more of a risk taker. I would try to talk to girls and think they were playing hard to get and continue to chase them. However, overtime I realized that some women just didn't want to talk to me.
As a result now I am not to willing to chase a girl. If she shows not interest I just do the same. Finally to go after a girl in a persistent way is also a crime called sexual harassment. So, I guess many guys don't push for things anymore.
I think you should show your interest, and ask him if he is into you. Talk to him and make your mind. If he is not into you, you can send me a message or something  | |
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| Men.. Do you have to have the chase?
Posted: 2/26/2006 3:16:48 PM | | If you want to know how men think just ask us. We're not that hard to figure out. Those books are foolish. Many guys are interested in girls but just too shy to approach. If you like a guy go ahead and approach him. Don't let society tell you what to do. | |
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| Men.. Do you have to have the chase?
Posted: 2/26/2006 3:19:56 PM | I don't necessarily agree that guys like "the chase".
Sure, a girl who comes on too strong could come across as too pushy or forward, but overall once I've made it known I'm interested, if the girl keeps playing hard to get for too long I just move on and assume she's not interested. | |
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| Men.. Do you have to have the chase?
Posted: 2/26/2006 3:20:34 PM | I love it when a woman shows interest in me. I've had many instances where women have come up to me and start conversations and offered to buy me drinks, etc etc. It makes it less difficult for us men to figure out if she likes us or not. I found that women are smoother than men when it comes to meeting and picking up. I'll always love it. Don't believe the hype, if you want a man, go for it......he'll be glad you did.  | |
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| Men.. Do you have to have the chase?
Posted: 2/26/2006 3:23:31 PM | | I know you specified male views - but - I've been told by more than one man that they just love it if a girl/woman comes on to them! Whether that is the same in countries other than England I don't know. | |
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| Men.. Do you have to have the chase?
Posted: 2/26/2006 3:30:41 PM | | I haven’t read the book but I don’t like the sound of it. It’s not a turn off at all - I’m flattered when a girl is the first to show interest. If a guy is interested he may approach the girl or he might be just too shy, inexperienced, clueless, or with low self confidence, etc. I agree with you, o0oTessieo0o, why play games and hide how you feel. | |
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| Men.. Do you have to have the chase?
Posted: 2/26/2006 3:30:49 PM | | Games, games, games...that's all it is! Someone writes a book and automatically it's "gospel". Just be yourself and be an adult about these things. Believe in yourself and act accordingly. | |
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| Men.. Do you have to have the chase?
Posted: 2/26/2006 3:49:30 PM | Ladies... ALL of you... please do yourselves a huge favor (and a favor for us men as well), and take all the copies of those books, make a nice big pile of them, douse it with lighter fluid, light up a whole book of matches, and get the marshmallows ready.
Men do NOT want to have to chase. It is annoying, it pisses us off, and we lose interest. Why the hell wouldn't we? If you show no interest in us, and play this assinine, high-school, "hard to get", headgame bullcrap? Just read what EVERY man has said in here.
Men do NOT want to be treated like they are insignificant, and not of interest to you. And we don't like to have our time wasted. How do any of you feel when a guy treats you that way? Is it a turn on? A girl should MOST DEFINITELY approach a guy if she likes him! What the hell? Look, I have total respect for most ladies, and I am not sexist, but I have to be blunt with all of you. You fight and fight for all the women's rights, and equality, and the vote, and workplace equality, and all that... and I APPLAUD IT! YES to all of it! But when it comes to dating and relationships, you get these retarded dime-store Oprah-endorsed "books", that tell you not to accept ANY equal responsibility when it comes to dating. What the hell? How is that fair? You want to vote, right? And you damn well should. We all know that. But do you act all coy and disinterested about it, until a man cajoles you into a voting booth? No, you don't. Nor should you!
Look, men have short attention spans. If women understand nothing else about us, I am sure you all know that. We have very direct and simple mentalities. NOT simple-minded as in stupid. But simple meaning uncluttered with BS and nonsense. Direct. To the point. We want M&Ms? We go straight to the newsstand to get some. The newsstand doesn't have any? Screw it. Get Skittles. Done. And we move on. We don't go "hunting" the city for a well-stocked M&M store. There's other candy to be had.
We do not like to hunt, we do not want to hunt, and we avoid it whenever possible. Just like you have evolved beyond the "cooking and cleaning" crap you had to go through decades ago, so have we evolved. That's the reason you don't see bands of men running down a mammoth in the snow with a stick, or chasing a pheasant, or some damn thing, through the damn woods with a net and a rock and a bone through our nose. No. It's evolution. What is the extent of how men "hunt" in 2006? We all own a microwave, and we all know what grocery store in our neighborhood has the cheapest price on Pop Tarts. And if they're all out of Pop Tarts... you guessed it. Get the damn Skittles again.
So when we like you, we tell you. We call you. We flirt with you. And if you show no interest at all, and don't approach us, and don't return our calls because you "want to seem...", or you "don't want to come off as...", or you "want us to think..." or any of that noise, then we see that as "She's not interested. I tried my best. Nothing. No results." And then guess what??
That's right. Screw it. Go get Skittles. She's always up for a good time. And then YOU lose out, because you really did like the guy. And WE lose out, because we really liked you. The difference was, that we were honest, and straightforward, and didn't play games. Sound familiar? Yeah, that's the same cliche nonsense you all say you want in all of your profiles. And we're actually doing it. But you (for the most part) are NOT.
Ladies, don't get me wrong. I love you all! I respect you all! But for the love of god, and for the sake of love, stop taking advice from these ridiculous books, written by women! Here, this post, and all the posts from men in this thread... HERE is your book. Written by the damn men. Men are a good source of advice when wondering how to best deal with men, don't you think? For gods sake, stop taking advice from Oprah. You're listening to a woman who, had she had the misfortune to be born white, would have been speared by Captain Ahab and made into oil long ago!
Please please please listen to the men who post in this topic. And burn those lying, counter-productive "books" of yours! What good have they done you? You're on an internet dating site!
That's all. There you go. That's the whole case.
-- Will | |
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| Men.. Do you have to have the chase?
Posted: 2/26/2006 4:01:29 PM | | Ok rephrasel.. my aunt says the book is called .... " he's just not THAT into you" and she never said to ditch him, she said he's just not that into me accourding to the book.... sorry correction | |
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| Men.. Do you have to have the chase?
Posted: 2/26/2006 4:07:21 PM | Will I agree and green **stard I think ur name is.. lol the guy already knows I like him and I know he likes me, I'm not worried about having not talked on a daily bases all the time. I'm not looking for male opinions to change mine into what guys want.. I already am stuck on my ways and I'm stubborn so their not changing.... If I see something worth value to me I go for it!
Thanks for everyone writing their opinions though I find it intresting. I agree to that times have changed as well, who ever wrote that. | |
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| Men.. Do you have to have the chase?
Posted: 2/26/2006 4:09:39 PM | Ha if you were in Winnipeg I'd chase you... Wait a minute, my house is on fire, your pics are too hot for my computer screen  | |
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| Men.. Do you have to have the chase?
Posted: 2/26/2006 4:15:43 PM | | If I'm into a guy, I'm not going to wait around for him to make up his mind as to whether he's going to talk to me or not. If I can get up the nerve to talk to him, then I'll do it. | |
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| Men.. Do you have to have the chase?
Posted: 2/26/2006 4:21:57 PM | Dont ditch him over 4 days Tessie - and I think FilmScorpio may be pretty on the money here  ( and love the way It was written ).
What everyone chooses to forget Is the book was written by script writers obviously they saw a way to cash In on the show simple. Some of It Is correct, but really you cant treat each man the same. All you have to do Is look at how many times the man mentions wanting to see womens underwear to get an Idea of his professionalism.
Its good to read as a laugh If you are down about a man who clearly was not Into you .. not to run your life by .. this ISNT sex and the city scripted and filmed Its real life with real players In the game and It doesnt come word by word scene by scene.
I say just see what unfolds with It .. and whats anyone got to lose by telling someone your Interested? A little bit of pride .. a lot cheaper than sitting around Imagining your playing hard to get as the days clock on  | |
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| Men.. Do you have to have the chase?
Posted: 2/26/2006 4:25:26 PM | Will that was sooo well written!
I enjoyed it immensely.
You have a gift.
It's honesty.
In my opinion, you've hit the nail square on the head.
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| Men.. Do you have to have the chase?
Posted: 2/26/2006 4:30:39 PM | | Can I clear this up as well... I think alot of girls and the chase... they show some intrest just don't fully show it, and like u to keep pursueing.. almost a tease... I dont think hard to get for all girls is ignoring u.. I would hope.. then again I don't play hard to get.. so ladies u may have some input on what hard to get is all about? I'm really hoping it's not full on showing zero intrest lol | |
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