| The "M" Word
Posted: 3/2/2006 10:59:26 PM | I have previously written about my EX-Girlfriend, the one who thinks everyone should get married, at least once. She even wanted to marry me. Silly woman.
I grew up on the other side of the tracks. No, not in a bad neighborhood. On the other side of the Marriage Express tracks.
The Marriage Express, that is the fast train which delivers couples to the wedding chapel. Sort of like the Polar Express, that brought children to Santa-Land, at the North Pole.
Anyway, I was on the other side of the tracks, living in a state of mind, that denied marriage. It was just something that did not interest me. Marriage, children, and family life, were not on my menu. I never thought about them.
After finishing high school, I finally got around to dating, but not as a vehicle for securing a marriage partner.
Marriage was for suckers, was my outlook. House payments, insurance, rug rats, in-laws-----puhleeeeez!
Back in my twenties and thirties, I didn't even know anyone who was married, and not once did I go to a wedding.
This was one that I had to look up: Gamophobia-- the fear of weddings and marriage. That was me. I was gamophobic. Abnormally and persistently fearful of being married. What was so frightening about marriage? | |
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| The M Word
Posted: 3/3/2006 12:08:01 AM | | Maybe it's because you are young-wow-I was engaged 5 times and opted out.Now I'm mature,I like myself,and know what i want in a relationship.I don't care if he's a handsome guy,a bit of belly flab is even ok and some hair loss-someone to TALK with is the most important thing...I am half a century old and I still believe that I will get married someday...not to the Johnny Depp of my 20's, but perhaps with a balding middle-aged guy who has a loving heart and wants to spend the rest of his life with me...hot chocolates,blankets and all of that cosy stuff! (We can watch Depp and Pam on TV and have a great time 2gether)!Oh I will get married...or at least live together forever with that special guy. | |
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| The M Word
Posted: 3/3/2006 1:35:17 AM | It's painful to think of marriage and the commitment that is involved.
I guess that I want to say, that there are no guarantees. There is no crystal ball. I guess that's why people say that it takes work (sounds icky, Ya...). But; it does take the commitment to stay on top of it each and every day - make a promise to each other to try and reconnect, every day and every way.
Plus, marriage is a commitment to the other members of each other's families. And society, in general; and, to God - not to mention, to each other. It's a huge thing and affects a lot of other people.
Blah, blah; listen to Me :P
Anyway; that is what the ideal scenerio would be. IMO. | |
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| The M Word
Posted: 3/3/2006 1:39:17 AM | Painful; yes. But, at least you know that you have ONE someone special to snuggle up to every night and share the pains and fears, etc. That's pretty awesome. Not to mention, other stuff. The world is your oyster and between you; you can create what you want - within your means.
Actually; now that I think about it, marriage IS scary - but, it's also very exciting.
Doh~! | |
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| The M Word
Posted: 3/3/2006 1:53:47 AM | pamela,
It is even scarier after you try it once and have it explode in your face :) | |
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| The M Word
Posted: 3/3/2006 2:03:34 AM | Your'e right about that, Jumpy. Although; it took us just over 30 years to explode. :P
Now; here I am on POF...
Still, not bad. I was with my family for 18 years, and with my ex for almost 31; so...
Next chapter, please! | |
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| The M Word
Posted: 3/3/2006 2:04:47 AM | Damn.
You made it 30 years???
What happened? | |
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| The M Word
Posted: 3/3/2006 2:18:29 AM | Lotsa schtuff. Too much schtuff. Can't go into it here.
But; trust me, we gave it a good shot considering it started off very poorly. | |
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| The M Word
Posted: 3/3/2006 2:24:30 AM | Sounds like you got out without hard feelings.
Me, I think I took years to get halfway sane again. Assuming I am. | |
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| The M Word
Posted: 3/3/2006 2:26:01 AM | Awww~! Jumpy! You sound verrrry sane to me!!! :D  | |
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| The M Word
Posted: 3/3/2006 2:39:14 AM | Marriage is not for everybody and some couples would rather live togeather and have kids than to ever get married some may feel that getting married is a waste of time especialy if,
they already know inside and outside that they will never leave the person.
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| The M Word
Posted: 3/3/2006 2:45:57 AM | Cool; but I still stand by what I said above. It's not just about "us". It's about how we affect each other in this world.  | |
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| The M Word
Posted: 3/3/2006 2:48:36 AM | yeah you are correct on that aswell but if you love the man/woman and you know both of yall care same for one another would it really, matter what the world or anybody else thinks and feels about yall being togeather.
nobody should please everybody in the world or try to make everybody happy
if you are happy and love the person than, thats all that counts who cares what
everybody else will think or say about the two of yall togeather. | |
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| The M Word
Posted: 3/3/2006 2:55:52 AM | This is called socialselfitis..it's all about YOU. To bond with someone other than you beer buds:beer means you have not matured enough to understand what adult relationships are.
Some get it and some don't . Obviously you don't and probably never will. So keep on fishing and don't "flounder" until your old and lonely...  D | |
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| The M Word
Posted: 3/3/2006 2:58:03 AM | who was that about "arealangel"?
i couldn't see how anybody would choose beer buds over somebody who they
love and admire and would do, anythin in the world for i see nothing wrong with
the "M" word and can not wait until that day comes. | |
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| The M Word
Posted: 3/3/2006 3:03:07 AM | As Tiny Tim said;
"God Bless us, Everyone"/...
Uhuh~
For sure. See we need support from each other.
Sweet dreams, all. | |
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| The M Word
Posted: 3/3/2006 3:05:12 AM | SwEeT_dReAmS
pAmElArAe | |
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| The M Word
Posted: 3/3/2006 3:07:45 AM | Aww~~~
/HUGS!!
U 2 | |
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| The M Word
Posted: 3/3/2006 6:30:06 AM | Magickman....I notice in your post that you kept using the word "WAS"....does that now mean that you have changed your thought process? And if so, why? Did something drastic happen? I am just really curious about it.  | |
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| The M Word
Posted: 3/3/2006 6:47:42 AM | There are people who fear marraige and those who just have no interest in it.
I do not fear marriage I just dont like what society has done with it. Its a twisted perversion of what it was meant to be....
I dont in any way fear it.. I just dont like what it has become.
If you fear something like this...
as in a real fear.... as someone who is afraid of snakes or heights, and its causing you
pain/ anxiety/ nightmares and all that
( think about if its fear you have or disinterest )
if its fear... then you might need some therapy/ counseling.
Its not normal to have a response to something like marriage where it brings you anxiety and pain. It implies something like you feel you have no control over it...
as nobody can "make" you get married....
so your adversion to it is based on some irrational fear.
Nobody said if you marry you have to buy a house or get mortgage either.....
so...
this is something you have some issues with and should seek professional help.
I have no fear of marriage..... nobody can make me get married..... I just choose not to go along with the crowd and take it so lightly as many people do... who trade spouses like they do cars.
There is a difference between fear of something and just no interest.
Fearing something is never right.... and fear of marriage sounds pretty irrational to me.
Do you also fear responsibility, critisism, having to go out of your way?
Think about what it is you fear...
loss of money? LOL....
I dont think its marriage you fear at all.... its maybe being accountable or some aspect of being a partner....
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| The M Word
Posted: 3/6/2006 11:19:21 PM | | excellent wordplay...but you are here,at a dating site, to Meet Someone? Some ladies would like marriage in their future...maybe you are at the wrong site? Negativity abounds but doesn't get a DATE here... | |
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| The M Word
Posted: 3/6/2006 11:40:01 PM | | truthfully alot of people get married for many reasons. And looking at the divorce statistics, probibly for the wrong reasons. That fact is I find it unpleasant to be forced into the company of anyone because of a ring, a piece of paper, and a priest. It is much better to be in the company of your S/O for as only as long as you want to be. Marrage does not allow for that. And besides you don't need the ring, the priest, and the paper, to be in a lifelong comitment anyways. | |
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| The M Word
Posted: 3/7/2006 2:02:19 AM | Magic;
If you do decide to get married I have wedding dresses in my closet your gal can choose from.
I have cancelled more than one wedding. | |
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| The M Word
Posted: 3/7/2006 5:40:59 AM | why do you need to worry about the M word. All you really need is the L word | |
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| The M Word
Posted: 3/7/2006 7:52:07 AM | | I remember a thread discussing WHY people feel the need to be married instead of living together. About the only real reason I could find in the thread was being eligible for the spouse's medical benefits. | |
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