| To those who have a long shopping list of requirements does it help your relationship?
Posted: 3/4/2006 1:20:15 PM | | I have noticed many ads where people have a long list of requirements of which their future partner must posess. So you find this person who has almost 100% of your requirements, so what is next? Have you been successful in the past when you find someone with all your requirements? Have you been successful in the past where your partner only had less than one half of the things you are requesting. For example, he or she must have brown eyes, must have brown hair, must be fancy dresser, must sleep exactly 8.2 hours a night, etc. | |
|
| |
| |
| To those who have a long shopping list of requirements does it help your relationship?
Posted: 3/4/2006 1:33:44 PM | Maybe its not so much a long list of requirements that must be met 100%
Its just a good way to put out there what you are looking for so that someone who might be interested gets an idea.
I don't think someone would turn away another person just because they failed to meet some of the requirements.
Everyone has preferences but do they all get met? Probably not.
But whats important is that at least the major ones are met. You should never settle... | |
|
| |
| |
| |
| |
| To those who have a long shopping list of requirements does it help your relationship?
Posted: 3/4/2006 5:39:42 PM | I can't help it, being the visual person I am, I find myself reflecting over past trips to my grocery store, the blond in me dictates that I go on an empty stomach and I forget the shopping list! When this happens I have inevitably purchased things that I didn't need and even stuff I maybe didn't want! This can be a painful experience, especially for the pocket book!
We are very vulnerable when we don't know ourselves, a singer once put it this way, "You have to stand for something before you fall for everything" My experience has shown me that the more I know myself, and the more decisions I make the more empowered I am to achieve my goals. Striking the right balance and knowing when, where and with whom to compromise with is the key answer to your question. You are the only one who can determine these answers for yourself. I hope this has helped you some. | |
|
| To those who have a long shopping list of requirements does it help your relationship?
Posted: 3/5/2006 12:44:03 AM | A female co-worker, and friend, who's been my sometimes coach and sometimes inspiration, says that she drew up a list (but didn't publish it) of twenty criteria. The man that she's found meets 17 of the 20.
I can't think of twenty items, myself. I think, though, that there is a utility in posting the important ones. I can't abide heavy drinkers, for example, so I would say so in my profile and hopefully keep those from otherwise plugging up my dating time.
Some people seem excessively picky. They reveal their personality in their intolerance. Example: whether I was circumsized or not, I wouldn't waste my time meeting the girl whose profile says she requires it. | |
|
| |
| To those who have a long shopping list of requirements does it help your relationship?
Posted: 3/5/2006 12:59:06 AM | | I think people have requirements because they know what they can live with. I mean for me, yeah I'd love to find someone who can spell, who's respectful, etc but some things I'm willing to overlook because in the big scheme of things, they're not THAT important. It's good to have standards but be willing to compromise because no one is perfect. | |
|
| To those who have a long shopping list of requirements does it help your relationship?
Posted: 3/11/2006 11:24:17 AM | I am just interested in this matter since I see some of the same people here and other websites continuing with the same demands or requirements over a period of long time.
I was just wondering if they are serious about not being flexible and are alone for all this time since they are so rigid in their selection criteria or are they involved in a relationship and have an ad just for kicks. | |
|
| To those who have a long shopping list of requirements does it help your relationship?
Posted: 3/11/2006 11:47:25 AM | I do think some people get carried away with what they are looking for. I understand we all have "prefernces" but when you turn that into "must have/like/be" then I think it's going overboard. Why don't you find a lab and build what you want. I just can't see me sitting and watching NASCAR for example because someone says I must be into it! By making the list too strongly worded you could be missing out on the love of your life. We don't have to share every little thing in common. I don't want to be joined at the hip. People need their space and things they can do with their friends. My list isn't too long!
Luna | |
|
| |
| |
| |
| To those who have a long shopping list of requirements does it help your relationship?
Posted: 4/9/2006 11:03:11 AM | LOL. If they are attractive and have a difficult list to match up to, what they attract is………. Liars…. Be careful what you wish for. You may “appear” to get it.
Let’s be honest here. I’ve read a few profiles where they are basically describing someone who does not exist.
I prefer to take the literal approach to things. If I don’t match the list, I keep clicking. Even if I can actually match that list, an extensive “must have/must not have” list just screams high maintenance.
For my own profile I simply put some thought into what kind of woman I would like to meet and express myself accordingly. I obviously haven’t found the right one yet, but most of the women I’ve talked to have really been quite remarkable in their own way. There are really a lot of really good people out there if you’re open to them. | |
|
| To those who have a long shopping list of requirements does it help your relationship?
Posted: 4/9/2006 11:05:43 AM | Everything is informative -
My hunch is that your post is a sort of list and on your list you are stating
'I am looking for someone who doesn't makes lists - or has a very short list -
and if you find someone who doesn't make lists or have requirements
will you be successful?
I would prefer people state things in terms of
A. Absolutes (Must not drink, do drugs, abuse bunnies)
B. Preferences (18-24, thin, blonde)
C. Would be nice (Had a job, personality, at least 9 fingers, able to ask good questions). | |
|
| To those who have a long shopping list of requirements does it help your relationship?
Posted: 4/9/2006 11:15:56 AM | Everything is informative -
My hunch is that your post is a sort of list and on your list you are stating
'I am looking for someone who doesn't makes lists - or has a very short list -
and if you find someone who doesn't make lists or have requirements
will you be successful?
I would prefer people state things in terms of
A. Absolutes (Must not drink, do drugs, abuse bunnies)
B. Preferences (18-24, thin, blonde)
C. Would be nice (Had a job, personality, at least 9 fingers, able to ask good questions). | |
|
| |
| To those who have a long shopping list of requirements does it help your relationship?
Posted: 4/9/2006 2:03:42 PM | A little story for you all about my opinion on picky people that have laundry lists.
I was in church chatting with a few friends one of which was a single woman in her early 40's and the conversation went towards why she wasn't married. She spouted off this huge and I mean huge laundry list of things. I blurted out after she was done "your never going to find that cause Jesus is dead." I know it was insencitive but it got my point out. She had her expectations too high. She literally was looking for Mr. Perfect.
If your ever in a search for the perfect companion your never going to find them. They are taken.  I feel instead of looking for someone that can jump through all these hoops its better to find someone that you are compatable with.
harvey | |
|
| To those who have a long shopping list of requirements does it help your relationship?
Posted: 4/9/2006 2:17:46 PM | hmmmm...i am split on this...on the one hand, i read a guy's profile the other day and thought "ewwwww!! he has SO many requirements!" and he DID, i mean like a very long paragraph full of them, including "must love dogs" and so on... that turned me off.
and yet, i also have a kind of list in my profile... granted, it's not nearly as long as that guys, or as detailed and persnickity (sp??), but it is, after all, a list...
i am wondering this: if anyone on this thread has looked or would look at my profile and tell me if you think my list is off putting or too long or seems too picky? ....  (if anyone responds negatively, i will TRY not to get defensive :).)
do others want to do the same???? 
perhaps it depends on what's ON the list, in other words is it basic stuff or all kinds of detailed pickiness? | |
|
| |
| To those who have a long shopping list of requirements does it help your relationship?
Posted: 4/9/2006 2:27:08 PM | Puppyluv i believe you said this at some point: Not really, someone may say on their list they are not looking for someone with children or someone who smokes etc. Those would be things you couldnt fake or conform to.....
well i just wanna inform you that it is possible to hid those things. i had a friend go through a relationship crisis (had kids with a guy, was planning on marrige). everything fell apart and then the father decided he was going to be a deadbeat dad for a while....he found new girls to fill his needs for sex,and whatever else. he recently found a girl who was a bit younger and more nieve then the last...he told her to her face that he did not have any children, when the fact of the matter is....he had 2 beautiful girls who he neglected for almost a year!
he's not the sharpest tool in the shed obviously but the fact of the matter is, he was creative enough to convince someone he was in a relationship with.
and now as for the smoking thing....its again easy to conform to being a non smoker...... maybe not super easy but it can be done. for example if i brought a boy home who smoked my mom would through a sh!t fit! so if i knew i wanted to take my man to a family gathering where she would be, i would ask him not to smoke at least an hour or more before the family thing. as well as have a shower,put on clean cloths straight out of the dryer, just to avoid any trace of the smell of smoke. All this trouble just to impress mom....but it can still be done.
i've also known a lot of people who give up things like Smoking, drugs or alcohol just for a person they want a relationship with. sometimes love is worth giving up something for......
thats it thats all folks! | |
|
Home
login 
