| CAN YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANT IF YOU'VE NEVER BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP?
Posted: 3/5/2006 9:59:24 PM | One thing i don't understand is how someone can know what they're looking for if they have never been in a serious relationship before.
I guess my question to all of you guys/gal: Can you really know what you want for your "future partner" if you've never been in a serious relationship?
Or am i being closed minded in thinking its a far fetch to know what you want or even obtaining what your after if you haven't been in some sort of relationship?
 | |
|
| CAN YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANT IF YOU'VE NEVER BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP?
Posted: 3/5/2006 10:04:19 PM | I think that one's first love is always special.
That means, that your heart is reacting in an innocent way - that will never happen again! Sometimes, it works. For a long time. I had that experience.
Now, it's like a hunt for love. Not the same thing, at all. If you can grab your first love, do it! | |
|
| CAN YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANT IF YOU'VE NEVER BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP?
Posted: 3/5/2006 10:05:02 PM | I want a chic that can shoot a .45 (that's what it looks like to me), and look damn good doing it.
I don't think you can know exactly what you want, because you will never find specifics. I don't think i would want to date a girl that has never been in a serious relationship, and had her heart broken.
Women with unbroken hearts scare me, because if they don't know what it feels like, they would probably do it to you without thinking twice.
And how can you know what you want if you have never experienced anything? Our past relationships help us look forward, and look for in another woman.
You learn from your history. | |
|
| CAN YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANT IF YOU'VE NEVER BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP?
Posted: 3/5/2006 10:12:38 PM | Ya i agree with you Robby! You dont really want to date anyone that hasn't been there and done it hey!
I recently went out with a super great guy and the only thing wrong was that he had never been in a serious relationship. In order to know what is required in a relationship you have to have been in one!
Fair enough right? LOL | |
|
| CAN YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANT IF YOU'VE NEVER BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP?
Posted: 3/5/2006 10:18:56 PM | | I think what you think you're looking for changes a little bit after every relationship. So maybe you think you know what you want but it will change once you've actually had a relationship. I agree about not wanting to be with someone who's never had a relationship before. I don't want to be any part of that upcoming train wreck :) | |
|
| CAN YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANT IF YOU'VE NEVER BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP?
Posted: 3/6/2006 1:15:03 AM | | Sure I think you can know what you want or what you are looking for, you just have to realize that that if your ideas for a partner are not realistic you probably wont find it. Even if someone does not posess all the qualities you are looking for doe snot mean they are not worth a second look, it all depends on how narrow your vision is. | |
|
| |
| |
| CAN YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANT IF YOU'VE NEVER BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP?
Posted: 3/6/2006 3:50:21 AM |
I don't think i would want to date a girl that has never been in a serious relationship, and had her heart broken.
Women with unbroken hearts scare me, because if they don't know what it feels like, they would probably do it to you without thinking twice.
And how can you know what you want if you have never experienced anything? Our past relationships help us look forward, and look for in another woman.
You learn from your history.
So know I would be discriminated because I have tried to chose carefully when I date, and if I discover quickly that we are not compatable I don't start a relationship. Yes I am a freak I have never been in a relationship b4 that lasted beyond mmmmm 5 dates. Am I happy about this NO, but do I think I have a good idea of what I want yes...not to say that I know everything I want and need, but I know the basics and I know my deal breakers. People also learn from their parents, their friends, and I hope I can learn from their experiences. And I am pretty sure I am a descent moral person, I dont' go around hurting people so the idea that just because I haven't had my heart broken means I would not think twice about breaking someone elses is WRONG. I haven't been in a relationship for serveral reasons...I was very shy when I was younger, and the men that I have met so far have not been the type of men that seem to give a damn about me other than wanting sex...with one or 2 exceptions, but then other things happened that made those relationships impossible. Anyway thats my feelings about this topic. | |
|
| |
| CAN YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANT IF YOU'VE NEVER BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP?
Posted: 3/6/2006 5:37:06 AM | I think it is quite possible to know what you want in a relationship without ever having been in on. Hell, all being in a relationship has done for me is teach me what i DONT want.
EDIT:sorry for double post.. its been happening to me alot lately | |
|
| |
| CAN YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANT IF YOU'VE NEVER BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP?
Posted: 3/6/2006 6:25:51 AM | i have never been in a long-term relationship, but have some idea about what i like in a woman ..
women are all so different .. no two are alike .. want to try them all ..
PoF is helpful because i get to see what others have gone through in their relationships .. also get to see into the words of many different women .. women who i may never get the chance to date .. lots of eye candy and mind candy on PoF ..
nice dog .. | |
|
| |
| CAN YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANT IF YOU'VE NEVER BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP?
Posted: 3/6/2006 6:27:47 AM | | Ahhhh, I've never been in a hardcore, long term relationship with the whole "love" thing and all of that. And nope, I've never had my heart broken. But I can safely say I know what I want because it's fairly simple, ya know? Just someone who's kind and accentuates and makes my already cool life even more wonderful... It shouldn't be so complicated. | |
|
| |
| |
| CAN YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANT IF YOU'VE NEVER BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP?
Posted: 8/3/2006 8:16:18 PM | | I don't think you can know what you want unless you really have your life together, and being in long term relationships seems to add to that. If you have a lot of self-confidance, true self-confidance, you will know what you want. But dating a lot and being in different long-term relationships will show you what you don't want and in the end you are a lot closer to what you really want. I think you're better off deciding what you don't want in your life and in a partner because with so many people on this planet half of them will encompass traits and quirks that you didn't even know existed in the first place (so you coldn't have wanted them). | |
|
| CAN YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANT IF YOU'VE NEVER BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP?
Posted: 8/3/2006 8:31:27 PM | I think experience is a good thing. If you can get it.
I consider myself, for now, a third party observer of life. I have friends of both sexes in all kinds of relationships. And guess what? I'm the friggin' love counselor for almost all of them. Even married couples talk to me separately about EVERYTHING, even the stuff I have absolutely no interest in (use your imagination). In 30+ years of being "the observer", there ain't nothing Dr. Phil has heard that I haven't, believe me.
So, in some ways, I think I know pretty well what I'm looking for and how to treat a woman. At least I know some things to do and some things NOT to do. That should be good enough to get started, shouldn't it? Does anyone out there know everything? If they do, they certainly shouldn't be on this site.
Every night I pray the following words, "Just put me in, coach!"
 | |
|
| CAN YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANT IF YOU'VE NEVER BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP?
Posted: 8/3/2006 9:34:43 PM | | I believe that you can know what you do not want in a serious relationship without the experience of being in one. However knowing what you want is a different situation and with a lack of experience it may be difficult to obtain a realistic understanding of what you desire from a future partner. In the end it depends on a person by person basis. Although it is more difficult for a person who lacks the experience of a serious relationship to have a good conception of what they want, it is no where near impossible and not far fetched in my opinion. | |
|
| CAN YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANT IF YOU'VE NEVER BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP?
Posted: 8/3/2006 9:42:02 PM | | I think you can know what you want and looking for, but in saying this you can really never know how things work until you have experienced Love. Love is most deffinitely not what is portrayed in the movies and I think there are some people who are niaeve about what they expect. But I think knowing what you are looking for in a person is great, just don't ever expect perfection. | |
|
| CAN YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANT IF YOU'VE NEVER BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP?
Posted: 8/3/2006 10:19:53 PM | I 100% disagree. The reason I disagree is that I have a friend, she has never really been in a serious relationship, hadn't had that many relationships period. She had a checklist of things she wanted in a guy that was specific (down to wanting him to be able to Salsa dance! not just dance, SALSA dance). There were 22 things on this list and it became a running joke that she would never find this man.
Sure enough right when she wasn't looking he shows up... hit 21 out of the 22 and they're talking marriage now. They are absolutely perfect for eachother and neither had been serious with anyone before. They're also waiting for marriage for sex so that's a huge area of experience missing for both of them. They have the attitude though that if they love eachother they'll learn with eachother and they have a life time to do it, they don't need to do everything by the time they're 25.
In order to know what is required in a relationship you have to have been in one!
Fair enough right? LOL
If you're viewing things this way you'll push everyone away at the first sign of a bump. Relationships are about learning, learning about eachother, learning how to love, learning how to argue, learning everything and with each person it's new - sure you can take from your experiences but no one is the same and you can't treat them as such.
If a person is mature, and able to communicate a relationship, even a life long one, is possible - IF you are wanting and willing to let it evolve.
JMJ | |
|
| CAN YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANT IF YOU'VE NEVER BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP?
Posted: 8/3/2006 10:56:44 PM | Good thing about people with no experience is they have no baggage.
Bad thing about people with no experience is they have no baggage.
Unfortunately, most people learn about relationships, the really tough lessons, the hard and painful way.
I don't think a lack of experience makes the person unsuitable, but I do think the lack of balance between an experienced person and an unexperienced person will often make their pairing unsuitable. Two people who don't know anything, in contrast, probably have a good chance of getting it right. They don't play games because they don't know how, they don't look for the worst because they have never suffered at the hands of someone's worst. Ignorance is often bliss.
When you have the experience vs lack of experience dynamic, it's really just about timing. You might have met the right person for you, but at the wrong time in your life. And if it's the wrong time in your life, there is no way to magically create a relationship out of that.
As for the "experience" issue, well it only really matters if you learn something from it. Plenty of people out there keep doing the same self destructive things over and over and over again in relationships. From picking the same kind of toxic person to maintaining the same kind of toxic behavior.
Ignorance is bliss, just not in repetition. | |
|
| |
| CAN YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANT IF YOU'VE NEVER BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP?
Posted: 8/3/2006 11:16:20 PM | I have never had an STD but I know I dont want one.
For most people the first attraction is physical, so you can know what you want physically in the opposite sex before you are ever in a relationship. As far as the emotional shit, that we find out as we go along. | |
|
Home
login 
