| | is he after your kids?Page 1 of 3 (1, 2, 3) | | In one of my posts about "prefer not to say" some women mentioned some guys only want to date them in order to get to their children. I'm appalled by this and I'd like to know if anyone has had this happen to them. I always figured it was the occasional thing that one read in the paper, but maybe it isn't. If anybody has had this happen, what are the signs and how can you protect yourself? | |
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| is he after your kids?
Posted: 3/6/2006 6:51:10 PM | I have said something similar to that a few times on these threads...and it's very possible..
I've not had that happen to me, but I did have something happen that gave me the chills..
I was talking to someone in my area who wanted to meet, he was rather pushy..but something just kept tellin me no, not yet..so I kept finding reasons not to meet him. One day I had forgotten to turn my msn off..my daughter who is 14 was playing on the pc when he messaged me. She explained to him that I wasn't there and had left my msn on. He proceeded to talk to her asking her which daughter she was etc, etc, he then asked her to turn the cam on so he could see her..I have taught my children the dangers of internet chatting and she said no and logged me off msn..he didn't really do anything wrong..and for all I know was just being friendly..but he stepped over a line asking her to cam with him while I was away...he got blocked and deleted to say the least..it scared me for sure.. | |
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| is he after your kids?
Posted: 3/6/2006 7:05:41 PM | Stats don't lie. The most sexual assaults on kids happen by people familiar witht the family. And the single mom's boyfriend is a huge chunk of that stat. And shockingly it doesn't matter if the kid is a guy or a girl. So be very cautious.
Many psychologists suggest getting to know the potential mate for months before even introducing them to the kids cause it rattles the poor tykes minds to see them come and go.
I don't really know about the single dads in the stats with the new women abusers but the criminal mind has no sexual prejudice.
(The above info is from Oprah and Dr Phil shows.) | |
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| is he after your kids?
Posted: 3/7/2006 1:07:46 AM | Hi if your a Parent with kids and if you use MSN Messenger please do the following to log all conversations, and please review them ...
In MSN Messenger go to Tools (it's at the top)
then 'Options'
then 'messages'
then under message history click
“Automatically keep a History of my Conversations”
you may want to change the directory that the conversation are saved in for conveyance. | |
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| is he after your kids?
Posted: 3/7/2006 3:20:35 AM | | Each to his own, but when I see people who have pictures of their kids on their profiles I am troubled. There are many sick perv's out there who will go after a woman to get to her kids and putting up pictures of your kids only encourages them. | |
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| is he after your kids?
Posted: 4/16/2006 2:31:29 PM | ITS TRUE ,, ALL YOU CAN DO IS RAISE YOUR KIDS RIGHT, TO KNOW IF ANYONE TALKS TO THEM IN A SEXUAL WAY, OR IS TRYING TO MAKE MOVES TO TELL YOU,, NEVER TAKE ANYTHING LIGHTLY FROM THE WORDS OF YOUR KIDS, THIS IS A REALLY SICK WORLD.. .. HOME SHOULD BE SAFE... | |
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| is he after your kids?
Posted: 4/16/2006 3:15:44 PM | | Grrrrr. Preying on our most innocent - nothing sickens me more. | |
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| is he after your kids?
Posted: 4/16/2006 11:19:39 PM | | I have a dear friend who hunts down pedofiles and you would be amazed and sickend to death, 60 year old men hitting on 12 and 13 year old girls, It happens all the time,NEVER for a minute walk away from the computer while you child is on it..Also these little neopet sites, the ones kids raise a cyber animals in, pedofiles love em..The worst place 'yahoo chat' the pedofiles just sit back and wait,One man just got eight years in jail for tryn to meet a 13 year old girl with a hand gun, The same man also was talking and calling this young childs house, mom never knew...atleast until he came to pick up her daughter and she was running after the car that he had her child in..As we say it only takes a minute to happen, but a lfetime to forget, WATCH YOUR KIDS! Thank god he stopped the car and let her out, but he still got eight years for that and other things he had done with small children,And who knows how many other are out there he harmed..daniel jayson threift I think was his name..you can do a google search on it..crazy stuff! | |
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| is he after your kids?
Posted: 4/17/2006 12:48:15 AM | | I think when people answer.... Prefer not to say... in anything we ASSUME... that they have or do whatever it is they are not wanting to say! | |
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| is he after your kids?
Posted: 4/17/2006 7:09:57 AM | Last year when I was on this site I had an older man email me who said that he wanted to kiss my daughters and me, and that we could all "share". Disgusting and appalling
I'm careful about who is around my children, and they don't use the internet. My oldest plays games on the computer, but not any that have chat, and she doesn't use any IM services.
Unfortunately, it's something that we, as parents, always have to be vigilant about. There are a lot of sick people out there, and they make it more difficult for the men who are truly "good guys".
Men also need to keep this in mind. Maybe less would get offended when we want to move at a slower pace. | |
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| is he after your kids?
Posted: 4/17/2006 12:54:25 PM | See and whats awfull is I was chatting last night to a man who said he was 26, And after a few minutes he started asking me about my children..Then said I bet they are cute like you! I shut the im window, now maybe I overracted but when I took a look at this mans picture he was no 26 year old, maybe 40 and the picture was fuzzy..Im thinking I may take down the fact that I have children on my profile, Its sad we just cant relax and enjoy our time on the net, allways having to look over our shoulders.. | |
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isitu?
| | Joined: 9/24/2007
Msg: 12 | |
| is he after your kids?
Posted: 10/1/2007 9:49:39 PM | I find it amazing how fast people men and woman will introduce their children
when my son was small i dated for 2 yrs different men and not one met him .
And for the life of me i don't get why people post pics of their children on here
it is hard in our every day world watching for potential harm
let alone bring strangers to our children .
the man is dating me not my son and until i know him really know him no man needed to meet my son . | |
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| is he after your kids?
Posted: 10/1/2007 10:20:38 PM | Haaaa...haaaaaaa....roflmao
You can't be serious?!!!!
Paranoia taken to a new high.
Yes...we men love to see your children because we want to eat them......LOL
Men, whether they would ever admit it or not would rather never ever see your kids from another relationship. Every man would rather date a woman with NO kids at all if possible...and it is!!!
Nature designed us males to NOT want to raise another males off spring.....if our instincts would be allowed to rule us, we would chase the other mans kids OUT and have our own kids.....some animals even eat the other males offspring if they wont leave.
I do suppose however there might be the odd psycho that plots to date you so that he can take advantage of your kids, but they generally are far to impatient for all that hassle and would just go to the local park and snatch one from there.
Moral of the story, check the person out on the Miranda web site to make sure they are not a child molester BEFORE you date them. Also don't introduce your new internet date to your kids until AFTER you have checked him out and believe he is normal and safe around kids.....wait until after he has been fed as well....LOL | |
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| is he after your kids?
Posted: 10/2/2007 3:12:01 AM | it also would help if women ask their date for a record check
it wouldn't be nice to get a a partner with bad reputation
I personally ask for record check not matter what | |
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| is he after your kids?
Posted: 10/2/2007 5:18:34 AM | Being from a military background i have learnt one truth, that the biggest threat is believing there is no threat, and this is why the above posts are important.
Fact: there are sick people out there who would take such action towards others.
Saying that, it is a minority, and we need to be careful when we lose trust in people because of this minority.
By this i mean, not trusting someone until we have done a security check etc, as that can sometimes do more harm than good.. however keeping an open mind we will be able to see if something is not right (and again, the reality is there that sometimes this could be the case).
And the posts regarding the way you raise your children and have them live with the knowledge of such predators along with the upbringing of being upfront when it comes to talking to their parent(s), then i'm sure all will work out. | |
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isitu?
| | Joined: 9/24/2007
Msg: 16 | |
| is he after your kids?
Posted: 10/2/2007 9:50:52 PM | ....wait until after he has been fed as well....LOL
**************************************************************************
Not a joke when a 3 yr old had been raped by a man .Someone I know met him on a dating site -NOT THIS ONE -
She did all the things you listed ,as a parent it is our jobs to protect our children not just from sexual assaults ,but from the emotional roller coaster if it don't work out .
and your comment about men not wanting to raise a another man child .Tell that to all the great step dads out there .
And the odds are small yes .But would you risk that small chance on a child of yours
even meeting a new male friend and having him over for a sun bbq ? you would watch every time he left your site .
So a bit paranoid yes I have full right to be .
but i will respect your opinion | |
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LullB
| | Joined: 9/26/2007
Msg: 17 | |
| is he after your kids?
Posted: 10/3/2007 6:38:57 AM | | Having just read all the above posts, i deleted the pics of my kids from my profile . Just can't be too careful with such precious bundles but I'm not going to ommitt them totally... A certain level of awareness is important but complete paranoia just cripples us with fear and makes us unable to trust anyone! | |
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| is he after your kids?
Posted: 10/3/2007 7:39:48 AM | "Hi if your a Parent with kids and if you use MSN Messenger please do the following to log all conversations, and please review them ..."
You can also log all Yahoo messenger conversations. Just go to "contact" and select "enable archive." | |
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| is he after your kids?
Posted: 10/5/2007 5:36:31 AM | we also have to remember its not just men that prey on children I actually had a female friend on msn who attempted to get my 13 year old at the time into sex chats apparently to teach her things my daughter thank god told her to stuff it.
im just glad my daughter talked to me and yes i check her msn logs but giving our kids the tools to handle the situations is number 1 in my books we cant hide them from everything but we can give them the knowledge on how not to be a victim | |
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| is he after your kids?
Posted: 10/5/2007 10:02:57 AM | | I think it's very disturbing. I had a picture of myself up where I am sitting with my 15 year niece. One man sent me a message asking for my niece's email. Ok this man is my age (40's) and on TV. There is no way my niece looked 18! I sent him a strongly worded email and blocked him. He did apologize but even so - CREEPY! Everytime I see a commercial with him on it I shudder. I have since cut my niece out of that picture. You just never know nowadays... | |
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| is he after your kids?
Posted: 10/5/2007 10:37:27 AM | Isitu?,
I agree with you. I think POF should take down pictures of peoples kids. If, godforbid someone wants to share photos of their children they can do it via personal email (not POF mail)
Also, why even put the question on a persons profile. If you say yes you could be inviting trouble, if you say "prefer not to say" it implies a YES, and if you say NO you you're a liar. Just let people get to know each other before that information is given out.
I love children and have no problem dating someone with kids, but I respect people a lot more when they don't bring their kids into the relationship until it is VERY WELL established.
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| is he after your kids?
Posted: 10/5/2007 4:56:00 PM | | I think if you meet a guy and take your time to get to know the person yourself, without involving your kids at all, then your quite safe. Parents who are vigilant will spot the warning signs or know if something is wrong before it gets to introductions! | |
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| is he after your kids?
Posted: 10/6/2007 9:43:27 AM | well i have a16 y.o son in my house.. if anyone wants him.. they can have him..  ..
just joking | |
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| is he after your kids?
Posted: 10/6/2007 11:05:02 AM | It's a very scary thing...and unfortunately happens far too often (once is too often) There is a reason there are task forces in the police forces about these issues.
I, for one, am absolutely paranoid about my child's safety. I don't apologize for it. It's my job as a parent to make sure she is safe from abuse, and to teach her safe internet practices. I won't put the internet in her room...ever. I want to know what's happening there.
There are people (mostly men, but not always) who are looking for easy access to children..I would think a single mom is a pretty good prospect to them.I keep that in mind... a man I am dating has no reason to meet my kid until I am sure he may be a serious prospect...and even then I would be very careful.
I sure wish the legal system would put this issue where it belongs..it's probably the worst thing you could do to a child...akin to murder. I say lock them up...forever. No chances, one strike, you are out of society for good...and no bleedin' "protective custody" either. | |
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| is he after your kids?
Posted: 10/7/2007 8:49:50 AM | I agree with you Raven, except for one thing......
"I sure wish the legal system would put this issue where it belongs..it's probably the worst thing you could do to a child...akin to murder. I say lock them up...forever. No chances, one strike, you are out of society for good...and no bleedin' "protective custody" either."
I say why feed these ba$+ards. One strike and it's off with their head!!!! AND for god's sake PUT IT ON NETWORK T.V. | |
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