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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Re-inventing yourself after 40 and Dating      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 best kept secret
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 1
Re-inventing yourself after 40 and DatingPage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
I'll be 47 next month and working to open my first retail store.

I own my own company now and the name. I have always wanted my own business and now, after raising three kids and my years of experience - and I mean experience,, I'm living my dream.

While there are some people looking forward to taking it easy, I going in like gangbusters for quite a while...and really looking forward to it.

OK, dating......makes it very hard right now. I had several months to meet a lot of great guys(& I did) thinking I might find someone to get to know but so far nothing but friendship, 'one likes the other more', kind of thing.

Soon all my attentions will be focused on my biz and I wont have the time to give a relationship, so I'm not really dating. Would have been nice to have a partner/lover/friend, but, *I think that may be time I discover the one for me, after I get into business, because I will be in my eliment.

Anyone find themselves where I am?
 NZGal
Joined: 10/8/2005
Msg: 2
Re-inventing yourself after 40 and Dating
Posted: 3/8/2006 8:13:41 PM
Wow good for you!
I started my first business last May. Been an interesting and exhilarating journey. Not one for the faint hearted thats for sure!
Dating wise. Well I have tried but am tied to my business with just one day off every 2 weeks at the moment.
Would I love to have Mr "Right" in my life. Heck yes!
But I have found that spare time is very limited. So I can't get out dating as much as I would like. Plus developing a long term relationship also needs time and compromise.
I have had guys look at what I do for a living and realise this is a way of life and a life style in it's self. I live on the job so I eat drink and sleep on the job!
What do I do?
I operate a dog boarding kennel and grooming service. Yes I do get up in the middle of the night and check all is well if I hear weird noises coming from the kennel.
Would take a special guy to cope with that!
If some one had told me this is how my life would have been 5 years ago I would have laughed at them.
I do love my job!
So I guess it would be love me, love my kids and love my kennel too!
 juju b
Joined: 3/7/2006
Msg: 3
Re-inventing yourself after 40 and Dating
Posted: 3/8/2006 8:13:53 PM
Going for it starting a business leaves most people behind. They can't relate. You'll meet other business people as yours develops. Good for you for doing something!!
 Dovescry
Joined: 3/5/2006
Msg: 4
Re-inventing yourself after 40 and Dating
Posted: 3/8/2006 8:22:08 PM
Congrats and good luck with your new adventure.
I own a consulting business and am currently working on opening up a retail outlet within a year. I have just hired an employee, and training one more. Like any new business you have to baby it, nurture it, and it will grow into something you are proud of.

I may not be able to date on a regular basis but, I like to find some common ground with someone. Right now it's me going to the gym. Ok it's not much but, at least I have someone that can relate to one of my interests.

In fact I do relate very much. People don't seem to understand the dedication and the time needed to run a business. Most just know how to punch in their time card, and then once their day's work is done that's it for them. A business owner will work a lot of overtime that goes unnoticed.
 galaxy-drifter
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 5
Re-inventing yourself after 40 and Dating
Posted: 3/8/2006 8:27:42 PM
Welcome to the club of the self employed from a has-been! There is truly great nothing in the worlds could be better, for the working. But for free time, well guess that will be another has-been . Or is that just for the hired help?. Good thing about being self employed you can work when you want to; can to can’t . When the help no shows or there no help, etc.etc.etc.!

But honestly Best of luck to you! It will be a heck of a ride! Who knows I might do it again one day if I have time!!!.

Dang just remembered I have the time to date but no date ! Darn!!
 best kept secret
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 6
Re-inventing yourself after 40 and Dating
Posted: 3/8/2006 9:10:42 PM
Glad to have some of the same people in my boat.....I think...lol

Has anyone found their love after venturing out like this? I'd like to know how it happend.

They say the right one will come when you are not looking, well..............

I'm NOT LOOKING!



Thank's everyone!...........Good luck to you!
 Fran_Gal
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 7
Re-inventing yourself after 40 and Dating
Posted: 3/8/2006 9:44:23 PM
I dont know if its reinventing but I recently have gone through some
changes. Seems things that once appealed to me have little appeal for me
now and I have a different direction as for goals in my life.
Its almost as if I went from a very type A.... into a type B personality.
I'm much calmer and happier, have true peace of mind
and feel satisfied with many aspects of my life.....
but still sometimes feel guilty when not working my
butt off every second and working as hard as I used to.
I had not watched TV much at all from 1987 till 2003
lol
I had to make myself sit to watch a few movies.

When we get older I think we all reprioritize in ways.. maybe not the same ways
but we all tend to reassess things and make at least some changes.

Far as dating, really no interest at this time. Been messing with men since high
school days... this is a nice break. I think this may be better for me... I like being single
 damselinnodistress
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 8
Re-inventing yourself after 40 and Dating
Posted: 3/8/2006 10:07:10 PM
I don't feel like I am reinventing myself accolades to those who have. Have accomplished a lot, but was for my eyes only. Others could not appreciate it. Still the same person here.:)
 best kept secret
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 9
Re-inventing yourself after 40 and Dating
Posted: 3/8/2006 10:09:27 PM
fran -
My mother is retired and still works part time at a Gym. She loves being single, spends a whole lot of time with the grandkids and doesn't care to meet a man, let alone have a b/f or marry.

She is still so beautiful and loves her independence...Had it, with men after 4 failed marriages! lol

But, I do believe I will meet someone...because I want to.

You have the right attitude.....nothing wrong with loving being without a partner, I know others who prefer it also.
 dbndon
Joined: 7/15/2005
Msg: 10
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History
Re-inventing yourself after 40 and Dating
Posted: 3/9/2006 4:55:38 AM
.
Yeah, reinvent . . . some call that retirement. I went from a career in an aggressive, type A, ego-centric world where I was usually the most easy-going person in the room, to the tranquility of retirement in the country with hardly a care in the world.

Not being the type who can just sit, I reconfigured my land and made a private park out of my woods. Neighbors thought this city boy was strange, till I allowed some of them to view what I had done. Neighbors not only liked what they saw, they asked questions and copied different things for their own property.

But that was just hobby work for me. Something else was happening in the background that soon surprised me and everyone I knew: I began writing for publication. That is, I somehow developed a style (voice) that was readable for the newspaper set but yet as concise as the many scientific papers I had previously contributed to the medical literature. Truthfully, I have no idea exactly how that style developed, it just did.

Fast forward a few years and I have many readers around the country (and a few in Canada) and had no problem getting published when I wished.

Now I’m playing with a novel that is moving along quite nicely and talked with some in the New York publishing crowd about two different major projects that I have already researched. The publishers are not all that confident about my first novel (although they like the writing) but definitely want the next two projects and have been hinting they want me to get started pronto.

Would this adversely affect a relationship? Yes, it sure would! For one thing, it’s kind of hard to hold a conversation while writing, so she would have to be willing to leave me alone for hours at a stretch while I’m working. Also, music will block the thinking process, so I cannot hear any of that, either. Yet another work-habit that “could” aggravate someone living with me is that I often work strange hours. It’s nothing for me to pull an all-nighter, or be eating breakfast at daybreak out in the woods while typing on my laptop.

Which means, a great match for me would be someone who has her own things to do. Another writer or an artist would be perfect because they often work crazy hours, too. In any case, she would have to be someone who understands that when I get on a roll I am on a roll that consumes me for a while and it should be encouraged, not interfered with.

Could be I’m searching for a saint, rather than a modern woman. But, that’s the way things are working for me right now -- and probably will be for at least the next five years.
.
 azblueskies57
Joined: 7/2/2005
Msg: 11
Re-inventing yourself after 40 and Dating
Posted: 3/9/2006 6:58:36 AM
I have been working for myself since 1993 and it is wonderful to be able to work as hard or little as you like (I like to work). But I have also owned restaurants and b&b's and a catering company, so I have done this for awhile. Enjoy it. Have the money to sit and wait for the business to catch up to the bills. It may take awhile. Good luck
 best kept secret
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 12
Re-inventing yourself after 40 and Dating
Posted: 3/9/2006 11:10:12 AM
This is all great. I'm just going to do my own thing and I know I will meet someone who not only encourages but would want to get involved, Make it our own.

What I meant by reinventing was I have been known as Mom, sister, daughter, friend, 'the talented helper'. Now I'm my own boss making a mark in this world from my own thought's Ideas and dreams. I am still those other things, but now coming into 'my own'.

47 is a good time for me and the possibilities are endless.

As previously stated, my world will open up to a new group of people.

He's waiting for me....
 Thealee
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 13
Re-inventing yourself after 40 and Dating
Posted: 3/9/2006 11:14:50 AM
I think it is absolutely necessary to reinvent ourselves throughout our lives. To stay in one place is to stagnate. You are a more interesting person when you explore everything you can be. Good luck to you.
 best kept secret
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 14
Re-inventing yourself after 40 and Dating
Posted: 3/9/2006 1:19:01 PM
You are so right! I tell my kids that too.

Who knows what endeavors I will pursue down the line! Maybe Oprah? LOL
 Dahliakitten
Joined: 10/14/2005
Msg: 15
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History
Re-inventing yourself after 40 and Dating
Posted: 3/9/2006 11:50:23 PM
Congrads on you opening a retail store. You go girlfriend.
Alway listen to others input about you dating. You may have a blind side when in love. Boy, did I do that when I was married for 12 years. I should have listened and then gotten out of that dead end relationship sooner. Learn from other people's mistakes so they don't become your own. So pick a guy who has as much money as you do. Not some lier saying he does, when he really doesn't. Watch cable women's show called LIFETIME. Alot of beautiful women get swept off their feet by some smooth talking CON MAN. WHEWWW...
 AnnudderVoice
Joined: 2/26/2006
Msg: 16
Re-inventing yourself after 40 and Dating
Posted: 3/10/2006 3:19:38 AM
I'll join the chorus congratulating you on the new business. You sound very excited about it and seem to be putting most of your energy toward it - I hope it takes off like a kite in a Nor'easter.

As for the Oprah thing - don't pull a Cruise!
 best kept secret
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 17
Re-inventing yourself after 40 and Dating
Posted: 3/10/2006 7:05:16 AM
Ahhh. No couch jumping for me!


Thanks for the advice about find a love. I already have that radar up!
Besides, I have a very BIG close family he would have to get through them first.... they can see through anyone!
 reeze
Joined: 5/29/2006
Msg: 18
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History
Re-inventing yourself after 40 and Dating
Posted: 5/30/2006 5:32:56 AM
Best Kept- I dont have the money to start a business of my own, but I do stay pretty busy with my job. Congrats on yours, I hope everything turns out good for you and it opens the door to your future. I have been out of the dating scene for a long time, I dont need a man to complete me, but it would be nice to have someone in my life. I just need to know how I would go about re-inventing myself. Got any ideas?
 Scotchlassie
Joined: 4/24/2006
Msg: 19
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History
Re-inventing yourself after 40 and Dating
Posted: 5/30/2006 11:23:22 AM

I own my own company now and the name. I have always wanted my own business and now, after raising three kids and my years of experience - and I mean experience,, I'm living my dream.


Congratulations and the very best of luck
 NapJoe
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 20
Re-inventing yourself after 40 and Dating
Posted: 2/21/2007 6:26:23 PM
It's a lovely idea to re-invent. Though don't forget who you are where you come from.

The small changes however that enable, empower would I think improve your chances. Like opening up to new experiences. Seeing the dream all over again.

More pillow talk, I suppose. Should older peolple place the teeth they lose under their pillow? How much we can get for a lost bicuspid?
 gyver75
Joined: 1/7/2007
Msg: 21
Re-inventing yourself after 40 and Dating
Posted: 2/21/2007 7:37:35 PM
Neccesity has caused me to reinvent myself once , from biker to Mr MOM , single parent .

Desire has had me reinvent my self two times since .

First time was after my kids grew up and were on their own , I wanted to live a life style that I had not experienced and thought I wanted . That lasted for five years then I put my jeans back on and hung my suits and tux in the closet .

Second Reinvent was starting a small business and going on a spiritual quest , working for myself gave me the leway to do the quest and both experiences , actually ,all my life experiences have led to me being who and how I am today .

When out on a date with someone that has had as many adventure in life as I have , it can be quite a great evening .
 ya472
Joined: 4/29/2006
Msg: 22
Re-inventing yourself after 40 and Dating
Posted: 2/22/2007 6:25:58 AM
Msg #18

1) I dont have the money to start a business of my own,
2) I have been out of the dating scene for a long time,
3) it would be nice to have someone in my life.
4) I just need to know how I would go about re-inventing myself. Got any ideas?



1) You do NOT need money to start a business. You need ideas, motivation and education. (I don't mean the education you buy, but familiarity with your chosen industry)

2) One is only out of the dating scene if one CHOOSES. There are prospects standing all around us, if our eyes and heart is open.

3) Lots of people say that, but their actions do not prove it. Many people utter their desires, without really desiring.

4) When you are ready, you will do it for yourself. Either you could be lacking desire, motivation or the self-confidence to step out and start something new.
 swtcarolinej
Joined: 11/11/2006
Msg: 23
view profile
History
Re-inventing yourself after 40 and Dating
Posted: 2/23/2007 5:40:56 AM
Mr.DBNDON,
You need a cat not a woman,sit fluffy sit...now dont bother me.!!.. What a MAN!!!
 SapphyreSkye
Joined: 12/20/2006
Msg: 24
Re-inventing yourself after 40 and Dating
Posted: 2/23/2007 7:36:39 AM
I've gone from the workforce to owning my own business (still own it, but it isn't 'doing' anything), back to the workforce. I'm still in the process of 'reinventing' myself...going from diagnostic rad tech to MRI tech. And yeah, most of the people my age in the workforce are talking about retirement and not 'having to do anything', whereas I'm looking at new things to accomplish. Not saying I'm right & they're wrong; we're just at different places in our lives. I've tried lots of different places within the medical field, and sometimes wonder if I'll ever 'grow up and decide what I wanna be' I want to add my congrats to those of the others; I know how great you're feeling...hang onto that and remember it when things get a little rough. You can and ARE doing this! You've made your dream a reality...how cool is that?!? As for the dating part...it'll all come together. I keep telling myself that same thing...right now I work weekends (I'll work every weekend except one in 2007) because that's what I need to do so I can pay the rent and pay for school. Hey, it's all good & I don't feel sorry for myself. When 'all is right in the dating universe' everything will come together as far as meeting/dating goes. We'll be in the right place at the right time.
 Ron9
Joined: 8/10/2004
Msg: 25
Re-inventing yourself after 40 and Dating
Posted: 2/23/2007 10:54:39 AM
I have been re-inventing myself for the last several months. I have been self employed since 1981 and not changing fields but am making a total change in industries. It took me three years to research all the companies (74,000 companies).

The real make over was started about 8 months ago. I am not sure if it was a fluke/fate or destiny.

I had been very sad for a long time. Wife of 17 years went off to “find out who she was”. That left me with one person in my life my mom. Eighteen months later my best buddy (only buddy) my mom died. From ok to gone six weeks.

I had nothing else but to keep my head down and keep working. Three years of 18 hour days - seven days a week just to keep my mind off of my sadness started to create some kind of ....... “feeling” around me.

It took me about a week to understand what that feeling was. It was a long forgotten sense of pride. All those hours (mostly as a diversion) had given me a sense of accomplishment.

I wanted more - more reasons to feel good about myself. I am still working long hours but eight months ago - I turned off CNN and turned on Jim Rohn - Brian Tracy and hundreds of others.

I took full responsibility for my past - my present and my future and it is a wonderful feeling.

“If I am not for myself, who will be for me? If I am not for others, what am I? And if not now, when?” - Rabbi Hillel
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