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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > After first date, who should call who first??      Home login  
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 dcbtx
Joined: 3/5/2006
Msg: 1
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After first date, who should call who first??Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Female or male, who should be the first caller?

I am asking because I have already called him and left a message..
I am not desperate, would just like to know if there is more to come or not, so I can move on.
 Fran_Gal
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 2
After first date, who should call who first??
Posted: 3/12/2006 3:42:35 PM
one message should be enough

I wouldnt call again
 basicallysweet
Joined: 1/17/2006
Msg: 3
After first date, who should call who first??
Posted: 3/12/2006 3:43:29 PM

I am not desperate, would just like to know if there is more to come or not, so I can move on.


ummm... I could be wrong but didn't i see a thread here today from you that said your date was last night.... Wow... if I'm right that would mean it's been less than 24 hours? (or this weekend anyways?) If this is right then why are you talking about knowing if there's more to come or not and moving on. Give the guy a chance. Patience, patience.....

And the phone call... yeah I think it's ok if the woman calls after the first date. Personally I'd wait for him to call most times... however if I really wanted to call I'd certainly think it would be fine.

Good luck.... hope he calls back soon. I think it's fine that you called.
 dcbtx
Joined: 3/5/2006
Msg: 4
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After first date, who should call who first??
Posted: 3/12/2006 3:44:32 PM
Your right it was last night ........ LoL

I am going to bed early, no more calling him for me....
 LMAO
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 5
After first date, who should call who first??
Posted: 3/12/2006 6:08:28 PM
Ball is in his court now,,,leave it that way
 Venusdomina
Joined: 9/9/2005
Msg: 6
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After first date, who should call who first??
Posted: 3/12/2006 6:27:44 PM
there is a two day window. if you have'nt heard from him in two days. you won't.
 Coastergal
Joined: 7/24/2005
Msg: 7
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After first date, who should call who first??
Posted: 3/12/2006 6:51:16 PM
Here's the deal... U should have let him call.....
Hopefully, U just said... just calling to say "hi" and let u know I enjoyed our date last night...

Don't just focus on him... date other people until you MUTUALLY (please note mutually) decide to be exclusive! Assume he is dating other people..... as well... (don't ask... just assume!)

Don't call again.. waite for him to call you next......

Best of luck to you!

BTW U sooo don't look 46!!!! Rock ON!
 Venusdomina
Joined: 9/9/2005
Msg: 8
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After first date, who should call who first??
Posted: 3/12/2006 6:54:14 PM
^^^pearls of wisdom^^^
 ParadoxDreamer
Joined: 11/30/2005
Msg: 9
After first date, who should call who first??
Posted: 3/12/2006 6:58:26 PM
I think when it comes to dating, too many people get caught up in the game of "who's in control" which often ruins potentai love. Often the problem comes down to thigs like who initiates contact for the first time, who calls one another for the first time, who does this or that for the first time, the list goes on. If you like someone, tell them! More often then not, couples that could be happy together don't end up together purely because they're both waiting for the other person to make the first move. If you like someone, tell them. If you want to show that you're interesed, do something about it.

At the same time, if you've already done something made it clear that you're trying on your end, don't become a doormat and constantly have to push the person to show response to these signs. Once or twice, but if after that, it's just obvious they're not intersted. When it comes to this situation? That's easy. You've done more then enough to call him, wait for him to respond. If he's not interested, he won't call back. After a week or so, I say give up on him if he's not responding by then. Work, family, stuff like that may detain someone on certain days, but a full week? Yeah, don't think so.
 msmenia
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 10
After first date, who should call who first??
Posted: 3/12/2006 7:26:47 PM
I have not really dated since I was 17. Between my two marriages, I had a friend that I hung out with all of the time. No romantic ties just two friends hangin. So, I didn't need to really date, we kept each other company, then I met my ex who is a trucker so we didn't really date, when ever he came to Ohio it was a given where he'd stay.
I said all of that just to say, man there are so many rules, it almost makes you not want to bother. I've been seperated since Dec. 04, the marriage ended in November of 05. Decided to at least meet some nice friends in late January. And though I am very pleased with the progress that I've made (I've met a lot of nice guys on here), I kinda feel like Dorothy in Oz "people come and go so quickly here".

I am a phone person, but everyone I met here and in person is either into email, instant messaging or texting. A friend from work told me last week, that his words didn't come out right in text, my respond was "Here's a thought, Call me!" What happened to wanting to hear a voice.
Even then, if I call or message too soon or too often, I'm a stalker. But, if he's not the outgoing type and I don't make a move he thinks I'm not interested.
Because of past experience, I am holdin off, because I don't want to have to make all of the moves, but why do we (woman and men) make getting together so difficult. And since it is, where do I get a copy of the rules, so I know what the heck I am and am not supposed to do
 Fran_Gal
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 11
After first date, who should call who first??
Posted: 3/12/2006 7:59:39 PM
OP
I hope in fact you are sleeping and not staring at the phone !

 Doctorforyou
Joined: 12/19/2004
Msg: 12
After first date, who should call who first??
Posted: 3/12/2006 8:14:55 PM
I almost always call first - don't like it if a woman call me after the first date without being prompted- text messaging is a bit different but even still.I even have to call a woman a few times -the special females need a man who is a bit persistent. I think it has to do with a woman's level of confidence.If they truely love someone they want to be reassured that they are giving up their time and energy for the right man - someone who has earned their keep and is loyal.

Generally in the wild , the male goes after the female- in fact it takes a bit of foreplay to make it work out .The male has to dance and exhibit what he can offer . I don't think the human race has advanced to the point where the female goes after the male - it invariably leads to some issues unless there is complete reversal of roles- ie the females is the confident partner and the male the submissive one
 brad77hayes
Joined: 3/7/2006
Msg: 13
After first date, who should call who first??
Posted: 3/12/2006 8:23:15 PM
I'm kinda shy. Of course some dates you know she wants you to call and other dates (like if you get comes back from the bathroom in a restaraunt annd shes gone) you know not to bother.
But if I'm not sure and i like her, I may wait a day, email her asking her how her day was and just talk a little about how my day was and if she responds with a favorable email, I'll call her back.
I love this site!
 De-Bene-Esse
Joined: 12/21/2005
Msg: 14
After first date, who should call who first??
Posted: 3/12/2006 10:45:42 PM
coastergirl is right...
a "thank you for a great night" is cool....but more than that makes you look like a stalker.

DO NOT declare your undying love, suggest a second date, call to ask why he hasn't called, etc. If he liked you , the scent of desperation will make him think twice..if he didn't , you'll just embarass yourself.

Forget about him, and if he calls, it will be a nice surprise
 backinvancouver
Joined: 1/28/2006
Msg: 15
After first date, who should call who first??
Posted: 3/12/2006 11:08:24 PM
Men know how to use the phone.

If he's interested, he'll call.

For me, I usually delete the guy's number after the first date, even if I'm interested. It makes it impossible for me to contact the guy afterwards. And online, I don't message people either. The interest has to be mutual for it to work. If I don't hear from the guy then I will delete the rest of his contacts.

When nothing is said, then perhaps nothing should be said. Silence both ways is your answer.

Gentlemen, perhaps I'm wrong.. but if you're interested in the woman, then you will make the effort to call after the first date, right? Instead of waiting around for her to call you? :)

Maybe I'm weird? But I have never called a guy after the first date.

Anyway, good luck with your guy!
 privatenites
Joined: 11/12/2005
Msg: 16
After first date, who should call who first??
Posted: 3/12/2006 11:46:52 PM
I'm with divine on this one ^^^

Raised around all brothers - they generally hated when girls called...so they hammered that into me at a young age

the ones they liked? - NOTHING stopped them from making first contact - they moved small mountains to get back to her, after that calls were acceptable back and forth

still the same in 2006 with my grown son, he either calls the next day or never again

be patient and fish happily
 danishpastry
Joined: 12/12/2005
Msg: 17
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After first date, who should call who first??
Posted: 3/12/2006 11:57:28 PM
Divine - that cake thing, well - that's one sick looking vagina - who suggested that?

If you want to talk, talk. If you don't, don't. In fact, just say you are not interested and move on. If you like the guy, and you want to talk why must there be a waiting period? Since when did a phone call within hours of a first date indicate a guy is a stalker? Look at it this way, when life is over - it's over. You can't call anyone. So, why even bother with all the b/s? Just do what you want to do.
 backinvancouver
Joined: 1/28/2006
Msg: 18
After first date, who should call who first??
Posted: 3/13/2006 12:00:54 AM
True. Men do and will move mountains if they are interested. I like what you said about your son. If they're interested, they'll call. If not, forget it. I don't chase people around.

Picking up the phone and dialing isn't exactly climbing Mt. Everest.

Think.. if you are to get together with this guy for a relationship, wouldn't you want him to at least be able to pick up the phone and call you? :)

And danishpastry, thanks for the compliments on my cake, ahahahah!! *I* suggested that, thanks very much. :)

 carrie bradshaw
Joined: 2/21/2006
Msg: 19
After first date, who should call who first??
Posted: 3/13/2006 12:09:53 AM
I'm old school. I won't make the first call.
 Venusdomina
Joined: 9/9/2005
Msg: 20
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After first date, who should call who first??
Posted: 3/13/2006 12:40:38 AM
When nothing is said, then perhaps nothing should be said. Silence both ways is your answer.

Gentlemen, perhaps I'm wrong.. but if you're interested in the woman, then you will make the effort to call after the first date, right? Instead of waiting around for her to call you? :)

Maybe I'm weird? But I have never called a guy after the first date.



no, you are right on.
 Gallivanting1
Joined: 1/28/2005
Msg: 21
After first date, who should call who first??
Posted: 3/13/2006 7:39:21 AM
If you liked him and enjoyed the date I see nothing wrong with calling him - once. Don't call him again until he returns your call.

Hey, why don't you tell us what the date was like and what made you want to call him so soon afterwards? Was it his eyes, the location or just the moonlight??
 prolibertate
Joined: 9/11/2005
Msg: 22
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After first date, who should call who first??
Posted: 3/13/2006 8:42:44 AM
Calling or emailing after a first date to say thanks again and you had a great time is fine. Doing it more than once isn't. Unfortunately, no matter what one does, someone might look at it in a way it's not meant...either one comes off looking too interested, playing hard to get, or not interested enough.

For example, if after a bit a guy starts emailing or IM'ing a woman, and she starts to do the same, HE may looks at it as the woman being pushy, though it's okay for him to do it a lot to her. If she doesn't do it at all, he may look at it as that she's not interested. Same goes with calling. There are some people, and some situations, that one can't ever win - let alone figure out - and shouldn't even try. All one can do is be them self and if someone accepts them for that, then it's good from there.
 greenman11
Joined: 12/12/2005
Msg: 23
After first date, who should call who first??
Posted: 3/13/2006 10:22:24 AM
After the first date if i'm interested i will call, so let him call first. Now if your interested be sure to send him a signal that he can clearly understand ,cuz ladies we miss the boat quite often. You wouldn't want to miss out on another date just cuz we thought you were not interested
 HUNflower
Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 24
After first date, who should call who first??
Posted: 3/13/2006 2:19:38 PM
Ah, man, this is why I hate dating. WHo calls who, who makes the first move, who does this, who does that blah blah blah. I call it the guessing game. But basically who ever makes the first move waits for the other's next move. If there is no moving happening from the receiver within a short period of time than move on, it means he's not really digging u or if he contacts u in a week or something after ur first initial contact it means he is interested enough for u to be in his life but he just wants to be friends or wants to take it real casual. If that's the case than don't take him seriously with lots of interest in him, just go with the flow, don't particularly care about him or the whole situation. That's just my suggestion, cause that's what I do and save myself a lot of headaches.
 maray40
Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 25
After first date, who should call who first??
Posted: 3/13/2006 2:32:35 PM
I usually give a man a week to call back if he doesn't then you know he is not going to..i am shy and not used to the new dating rules lol after being married so long..but i leave it up to the gemtleman...not about to push myself onto someone not interested..if i do not feel there is anything there i at least made a new friend.. and when he calls will tell him so..can never have enough friends...
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