| Still Can't Let Go
Posted: 3/12/2006 3:46:13 PM | | I seem to have the worst luck with woman. I consider myself a real nice guy. I would do anything for her. I was in a relationship with a woman for 4 months. She broke up with me over the new year. Very cold and heartless, the way she did it. She had been in some aweful relationships in the past. I was the first nice guy she was with. Her family loved me. She Could not handle the fact of me being so nice to her. I was angry at her for awhile, my anger gave into forgiveness. For some reason now I miss her, we had some great times together in the beginning and those are the times I think about. As well as her wonderful smile. I do put myself out there, but she's the one I still miss. Last week I got my matches and who was on there but her with her picture on Plenty ofFish.com That was hard for me because of how I feel for her. I would like her back in my life, but to, this has been a growing experience for me being apart from her. What I am hoping is this is just a period for both of us to become stronger and better so when we are together again the relationship will be that much better. There are times I wish I would not miss her at her, but the fact remains I do. Do you think she is worth holding on to if you feel she's the one? And how do I allow myself to be open to other possible relationships while still thinking about her? | |
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| Still Can't Let Go
Posted: 3/12/2006 3:48:49 PM | You can't hold on to something that wasn't yours.
Move on. Time really does heal all wounds  | |
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| Still Can't Let Go
Posted: 3/12/2006 3:50:05 PM | you say she broke up with you rather cold and heartless
what else do you need? | |
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| Still Can't Let Go
Posted: 3/12/2006 3:50:50 PM | I appreciate your advice. I do hope I can do that.
Thanks.
Lee | |
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| Still Can't Let Go
Posted: 3/12/2006 3:51:23 PM | Women I think seem heartless because they are more able to leave while they still have feelings for you, so they just clamp down on their emotions.
Still, she left for a reason, the only thing you can do is grieve, and then move on.
Guessing the reason was not that you were "too nice to her", or, at least, it was not that simple, and really, if that is the only reason, she is kinda damaged and in the long run you are better off without her.
Sorry to hear what happened, it truy sucks, but we have all been there and it does get better.
Whatever you do, do not go out like a **** :) If you do, you will always wince when you think about your behavior. | |
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| Still Can't Let Go
Posted: 3/12/2006 3:57:36 PM | Your right, but I saw things in her that meant a lot. The way she broke up with me wasn't her. I saw some great qualities in her, who knows maybe I'll find those great qualities in someone else. Sometimes letting go can be a ****. I do put myself out there. I don't know why I feel the way I feel. I think more about the good times instead of the bad. Mayby once I meet someone else, that well change. I do agree with you.
Lee | |
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| Still Can't Let Go
Posted: 3/12/2006 3:58:11 PM | iv learned that once a woman cuts you out of her life ..no matter how much you think about her or tell her you still love her...it doesn't work.
Most women once they have made up their mind to move on from you very rarely want to take a step backwards.
as tough as it is ..your best just trying to find someone new. | |
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| Still Can't Let Go
Posted: 3/12/2006 4:05:42 PM | | Maybe part of it is meeting someone else being open and seeing what happens, once that happens the growing feelings for her, her being my new partner will get better and the feelings for my last relationship will become less. | |
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| Still Can't Let Go
Posted: 3/12/2006 4:07:23 PM | Wow.... Could she really be in two places at the same time? Having her here in the same pond makes it sort of hard not to feel like your nose is getting rubbed in it. Been there. Done that. If neither of you are into cruel and unusual punishment and keep it out of the forums, there's no reason you both can't grow from it. As far as keeping that porch light on for her, if the reasons it ended haven't been resolved (counselling to deal with the issues) it can't work. All you can do is move on. If it was meant to be - it would be.
Steve | |
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| Still Can't Let Go
Posted: 3/12/2006 4:10:14 PM | yeah thats a good point steve....if she is also on this site its probably best not to discuss about her in the forums.
thats really gonna ruin any chances you may have with her. | |
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lee720
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Joined: 2/13/2006
Msg: 11 | |
| Finally letting go
Posted: 3/13/2006 6:02:25 PM | I went to see my therapist tonnight. She told me everything all of you have been telling me. I need to move on and forget about her. She was nothing but a negative influence on me. She was very distant, never close, always had bounderies and always pushed me away, and she was cold and heartless. I need to realize that. I had this fantacy of how I wanted her to be and not how she really is. Letting go is something I will do. I should have ended it with her when I had the chance.You learn, you change, and you grow. Move ahead and don't look back. Live for today and be happy for tommorow. I know there is someone wonderful out there for me who will give me all of what I need and want, and I will give her all she needs and wants. Thanks for your advice.
Lee | |
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| Finally letting go
Posted: 3/13/2006 6:51:00 PM | | anyone who is trying to get over a person the last thing they need is to see that person on here wow for once i dont have any advise.exept to say try not to look at her pro or her name in forrums.its like as a child wanting to get that shoe box off the top shelf in your parents bedroom.no mater how tempting it is dont go diiging or you might uncover something that will hurt you | |
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lee720
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Joined: 2/13/2006
Msg: 13 | |
| Good Advice
Posted: 3/13/2006 7:07:19 PM | Hey Jimmy,
I appreciate your advice. So true. Thanks
Lee | |
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| Finally letting go
Posted: 3/13/2006 7:15:09 PM | lee720,
the old sayings are true, love is blind (to faults), and hope does spring eternal.
Just remember, people are not posessions. Be thankful for the time spent with another, there is nothing of more value. Accept and respect her wishes in leaving, reflect on the lessons learned, and take some time out for you. Wait if you wish, or move on.
Take care. | |
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lee720
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Joined: 2/13/2006
Msg: 15 | |
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| Still Can't Let Go
Posted: 3/14/2006 1:52:45 AM | | let her go she wasnt for you , im sure you will meet miss right , you just have to do the same as the rest of us n go through the wrongens b4 you get there , good luck !!!! | |
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| Still Can't Let Go
Posted: 3/14/2006 2:46:03 AM | | Once we get the stop sign from the other, we need to stop. Let her go. I realized (very very luckily) at an early age of 18 not to cling to the hope of that person giving u another chance when it was u who was dumped, no matter how nice and generous u r with ur feelings towards the other person. I came to this realization after holding on to my first love when I was a teenager for a year and half and he never came back, we were just friends after he dumped me. I never look back since if someone dumps me, and never give him a chance if he does change his mind and wants me back. No one is a toy to be played with. | |
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lee720
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Joined: 2/13/2006
Msg: 18 | |
| Still Can't Let Go
Posted: 3/14/2006 6:14:39 AM | I appreciate you reply. And you're absolutley right. Thanks.
Lee | |
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| Still Can't Let Go
Posted: 3/14/2006 7:04:30 AM | She wasn't the one. Being the person that gets rejected sometimes takes a little longer to get over than the person that left you. It's a pride thing. If she didn't appreciate what she had then let her go!
Luna | |
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| Still Can't Let Go
Posted: 3/14/2006 7:18:02 AM | | if your not happy why stay.....time does health all wounds.....the cleanest cut healths the fastest ;) | |
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lee720
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Joined: 2/13/2006
Msg: 21 | |
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| Still Can't Let Go
Posted: 3/14/2006 9:13:45 AM | My advise is once you realize that she wasn't who you wanted her to be in your head.. and realize who she truelly was then and only then will you be able to move on.. hope that made sence to you lol Best of luck to you... | |
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| Still Can't Let Go
Posted: 3/14/2006 9:22:21 AM | | You had the worong hand of cards...Things will work for you. Just be patient.... | |
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| Still Can't Let Go
Posted: 3/14/2006 9:25:37 AM | You are holding on to some fixed false belief or idea is why
you can't let go.
You need to stop living in dreams of WHAT IF and SHOULD HAVE BEEN
into whats real and see its over.
With every door that closes a new one opens... but not if your standing there
holding it shut !!!!! | |
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| Still Can't Let Go
Posted: 3/14/2006 9:27:20 AM |
I seem to have the worst luck with woman. I consider myself a real nice guy. I would do anything for her.
Lee-
I think you need to start taking a different approach with Women...
I think You are too nice.........way.way,way to nice......... | |
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