| oh just a few extra pounds and a few other things that bug me
Posted: 3/12/2006 5:19:16 PM | a few extra pounds dont mean bbw, but i have learned that some think a few extra pounds is like 50 +. think about that if you were looking for some one and asking the same, how would you feel if they came to you with the saying "im just a few extra pounds" yet they look like a plumb !! how would you react ? i dont like to cut any one down so please "KNOW THE DIFFERENTS OF FEW EXTRA POUNDS !!! A FEW IS LIKE 5 POUNDS OR SO NOT 50 OR UP !! if you need to find out where you stand. then there is a sight you can get the answer from its www.webmd.com under "weight chart". please us it before contacting, dont waste my time or yours!! "im sick of meeting people just a few extra pounds beyound the 50 pound mark" sorry being rude, but hey put the shoes on your feet for once.
its like those awsome glammer shots, well theres a problem with those also .." do you plan on keeping the face that was put on "no" so why send them ??? its wonderfull that it does show the beuty of you but its not the real you its make up, a temperary look that cost over 100.bucks a shot!! "now come on" i dont think any one is willing to pay that every day to keep the look!! so be your self.
but while im on the subject, a lot of ladies dont want any head gamers or one night stands ! but look at there profile, they are just about letting there \3 chest out but would seem they want to show more but matchdoctor wont allow it "thongs " ??? is some thing wrong here ???
every one says "dont truest any one with some thing hanging between there legs couse all they want is sex .yes there are some out there but not all, it goes both ways!! i have seen it many times but like us good men we keep our mouths shut !but some of the ladies out there cant, "so what happens is they all talk that s*** ! some times i wounder why ladies talk like that when they are not at all any better ? "sorry to be so rude" but hey some body needs to say it .so now who knows i may never get any more emails or winks lol but i would prefer none if its gonna come from a story, like what i just spoke about.
thanks every one for understanding my point i do realize that there will be some who wish to create problems becouse i spoke my mind, but would you prefere if i told you in your face after we meet ??? sorry im not like that, so i just wont call or return any messages after i see you.i think its the best way to put it . "what do you think"?
ask me any thing you want i will give you the trueth !
even if it pushes you away!
thanks to those who see it my way. but sad to say ive already gotting some bad responses! but i look at the good ones. and i thank them with the bottom of my heart thanks to the ladies, "who responded with good attitudes" and to the rest well sorry i affended you. but be honost !!
thanks again
jim | |
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| oh just a few extra pounds and a few other things that bug me
Posted: 5/23/2006 7:50:21 PM | From my point of view 5 pounds is not overweight nor ten nor 20, all these weights are average. I can understand that you feel overwhelmed to meet with a large person when you are looking for a petite one, but dear, just dont date anyone a few extra pounds and you will be saved that headache. Average is just that, not thin not fat, a median weight, and even in todays society average is at the same norm as it was in the 50s.
My only problem with your post really is how rude you are. You say that you will not return a message to someone you dated after you saw them and decided that they were not suitable, well frankly that is rude, and really quite cowardly. You can just say I am sorry but we do not seem right for each other, or some such thing, being ignored is hurtful.
You do make a very good point about honesty. I too value honesty highly. There is no point in pretending to be anything, the proof comes out in the wash. You can't hide from the meeting. That is why my first meetings are always super casual, coffee affairs. Just a light chat to test the waters. Then if you click, go from there.
I don't see why anyone would judge you for having an opinion. We all have opinions and the right to voice them.
Good luck with your search. | |
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| oh just a few extra pounds and a few other things that bug me
Posted: 6/4/2006 6:42:35 AM | Amen!! to that Crowbabe!!!I am new to this site and I am going thru the forums and I came across to this one..
and to you
I am a women who is a few extra pounds not 50+ either!! but if I were to go out for coffee to meet someone and afterwards they did not contact me, at all then yes I would be quite hurt by this, atleast let me know that there is no interest here, after all even if you are 50+ you still are human and you still have feelings like anyone else whether your thin or average or a few extra or even a plus size, we have feelings and when someone does not respect you enough to tell you in a nice way that there is no clicking going on it really hurts,maybe there will not be the clicking, but what about a friendship with that person, overweight does not mean that your not capable of having a friends atleast, I have met some very intelligent people who are overwight. maybe a friend is all it takes to turn that person into a minus 50 pounds.........this is another he said she said in todays society that turns people into either an Annorexic or just gives up and stays a few extra pounds + becuase they give up trying to keep up with the so called expectations of everyone around us.. and this too has gone on since way back when. It seems that thin was always in, but lord!! look at the ones it has damaged over the years I have watched beautiful intelligent people go to hell because of what people expect in this world for both women and men,maybe it is time to stop downing and try to be a friend who cares and not cast them into a catagory that no one should be in......look I do admire Honesty as much as anyone else on here,and I to, have my certain picky side of what I like in a person but I do not believe in casting out maybe the possibilty of having a good friendship with a person even though there maybe no spark.....there maybe the a great start to a great friendship....... out. | |
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| oh just a few extra pounds and a few other things that bug me
Posted: 6/23/2006 7:08:31 PM | have to agree with OP
and it's his right to know the facts before meeting someone. I have seen alot of people on here lie about their weight and post old photos...get real. Not only is it about the photos and wieght, it can go even deeper...marital status being one.
He's not saying overweight people are not intelligent and that they wouldn't make great friends.
I didn't read his profile but I'm guessing he's dating.
Be real, be honest in your profiles...and if you're going to 'fib' in your profile, don't expect a call back.
Sometimes people just don't click for other reasons after meeting, sure it's polite to be up front....lie: fahgetaboutit | |
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| oh just a few extra pounds and a few other things that bug me
Posted: 7/1/2006 7:39:25 AM | You are so right, but you might just try to say it in a kinder way. LOL. I have been told that I should consider myself Petite, but I always say I'm average. I weigh 135 lbs. and I'm 5' 2" tall, I think that's average, yet my pals tell me that if I say I'm average, guys will see that as overweight because overweight people say they're 'a few extra pounds'. It's too complicated for me, I just tell the truth as I see it.
I'm interested in this thread, that's why I jumped in. In case you're interested, I lived in Maine for 6 yrs. and loved every single minute of my stay.
Lady Mara | |
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| oh just a few extra pounds and a few other things that bug me
Posted: 7/8/2006 10:50:26 AM | It can be difficult to know what to put in a profile. I started by putting myself as average. I figured that was being honest for my age. Not saying people get heaver with age, just looking at the average male my age.
I recently changed it to a few extra pounds. Yes, I should lose some weight, but I am not more that a few extra pounds.
I guess we can only be honest using our own standards. That may not be accurate but it is all I can go by as well as what some women have told me. If that's not good enough then that's too bad. | |
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| oh just a few extra pounds and a few other things that bug me
Posted: 7/19/2006 1:33:38 PM | It all comes down to honesty...unfortunately, it requires you to be honest with yourself...
Other threads have addressed this issue, but it comes down to living up to your profile. If you put something in there that is a little 'stretch'...you have already planted the seed for the destruction of any future relationship...
I have met a few people who said they had 'a few extra pounds', but wondered where they hid them....my conclusion is that they would like to be thinner, even if they might otherwise fall into the 'slim' or 'slender' category. Some of us would love to fit in some of our old clothes...but it probably will never happen.
The other side of the coin....picture 'before the weight' or from college days...obvious deceit...I agree with the OP on this...it is just laying the foundation for a big dissappointment... | |
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| oh just a few extra pounds and a few other things that bug me
Posted: 8/3/2006 1:31:56 PM | I agree with the OP. But I say an average sized body means a body that still has a great and healthy shape to it. Not round, or buldging.
But I was tired of the women contacting me that are much older and heavier then I ever been with in my life... so I redid my profile and said I was shallow. Now for the first time, I get contacted by the Thin women. Thank you girls! | |
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| oh just a few extra pounds and a few other things that bug me
Posted: 8/18/2006 7:17:25 AM | Always willing to contact you my dear......^^^^^ and I had to change my profile awhile back after going to a POF party and seeing people who deemed their bodies average. Now I am waiting for POF to add a new category...super skinny and needing to gain weight...Not that I am braggin as people find it okay to ask me if I have an eating disorder and do I eat more then a few carrot sticks and rice cakes for supper. Would you ask an overweight person how many Big Macs they devour at one sitting??? I am pretty darned proud that after having 4 children I can look the way I did in High school...and my oldest will be 17 next month so I am doing pretty darned good....
Things that bug me in profiles are men who are full of themselves and call my children baggage. Would never ever contact soneone with such a closed mind as that.......only my 2 cents... and the women who find it important to show of their boobs or whatever and say they dont want players or sex???A picture says a thousand words...... | |
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| oh just a few extra pounds and a few other things that bug me
Posted: 8/25/2006 7:50:44 AM | Well, everyones opinion of "a few extra pounds" is different. I am about 5'10" and roughly 250#, I have found *most* women are looking for a "KEN" doll to date. They pass over the guys who is just "average" or not so good looking. What they are missing is that guy has a huge heart and knows how to treat a woman. What has gone wrong with *most* women nowadays? How come they are looking for a guy with a "GREAT JOB" or has the body of a weight lifter? Can someone enlighten me? I would like to hear the womans take on this..and if there are any guys out there that feel the same.
On a different note, what do you guys think about "READ DELETED"? I figure if someone takes thier time to write a reply to someones profile they should at least reply with something...like "sorry im not interested" or something like that...."READ DELETED" is COLD. Thats my opinion, I welcome yours. | |
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| oh just a few extra pounds and a few other things that bug me
Posted: 10/13/2006 9:50:02 AM | The best thing I ever learned was that looks truly don't matter. I am not so niave as to think that you can spend the rest of your life with someone that you can't stand to look at. However, Its amazing how incredibly attractive any man can be if he has a great personality. I recently got a message from a guy, that if I met him at a bar, I would have never given the time of day because he didn't look the way my "ideal" man would. That said, I gave him a chance and got to know him and he seemed like a really great guy. The more time I spent with him the more attractive he became to me. To the point where I found myself taking a second look at men I would never have dated before.
This guy didn't turn out to be what he said he was either but that had everything to do with who he was and nothing to do with his looks. I would gladly get to know and eventually meet up with a man no matter what he looks like. Short, tall, fat, skinny, somewhere in between. Dark hair, light hair, no hair. Blue, green or brown eyes. Why does it any of that matter?
Although I was disappointed things didn't work out with this guy, it made me realize that I truly didn't care what a man looked like. I mean, a person can say that as much as they want but you have to experience it to make sure you really mean it.
I hope that those of you who are judging peoply by what they look like instead of who they are, are not missing out on someone who could really love you. | |
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BBW60
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Joined: 3/21/2006
Msg: 13 | |
| oh just a few extra pounds and a few other things that bug me
Posted: 10/20/2006 1:13:48 PM | | Thought I would jump in here and give my 2 cents worth...its not just the women on here that say they are a "few extra pounds", when in truth they are much more. As my name says, I'm a BW, and don't pretend to be otherwise. I am completely truthful and upfront with everyone I talk to here that I am more than just a few extra pounds. If you chose to talk to me or not that is your choice, but when you wont talk because of the extra weight, it is you that has the shallow mind and the problem, not me. I have come to the conclusion years ago that I'm a decent person, and those that look at me and see my weight, arent worth the time or conversation. A person should be judged by what they are as a person, and not what they look like or what they weigh. | |
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| oh just a few extra pounds and a few other things that bug me
Posted: 10/26/2006 5:25:51 PM | | well jim, lets hope you dont need to lose a few extra lbs....and im 42, and dont have the body of a 22yr. old, nor do i want the body of a 22yr.old i have 3 grown children, and have had to lose a few my self, but its men like u who make it rough at times, there are alot of pretty women out there who are big and dont care what men like you think | |
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| oh just a few extra pounds and a few other things that bug me
Posted: 1/30/2007 3:16:24 PM | | Your thread is very difficult to follow. I enjoyed your few extra pounds point! I'm surprised you did'nt get more comments on the subject. No one wants to talk about things that make them uncomfortable. I'd bet 75% of the people on this site are obese. Five pounds over one's BMI is a few extra lbs. More than that is obese. Ever wonder why you don't see the body portion of most peoples' photos? You got it. Interesting to note that people who condemn others for not uploading photos usually upload photos that omit or avoid this issue. | |
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| oh just a few extra pounds and a few other things that bug me
Posted: 2/5/2007 1:23:51 PM | | I have to say that I agree with you on a few extra pounds men will just delete me because I'm honest to say it. What's wrong with you MEN for doing this we can be loved just as must as you and more. It's not whats on the outside its the inside that counts. | |
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| oh just a few extra pounds and a few other things that bug me
Posted: 2/5/2007 1:24:01 PM | | I have to say that I agree with you on a few extra pounds men will just delete me because I'm honest to say it. What's wrong with you MEN for doing this we can be loved just as must as you and more. It's not whats on the outside its the inside that counts. Sharon | |
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| oh just a few extra pounds and a few other things that bug me
Posted: 5/16/2007 5:28:30 PM | MaineFFEMT,
If a woman has to be impressed by physical features, or she does the "UNREAD DELETED" or "READ DELETED", then she isn't much of a person that she can treat other people that way. At least two of the women posting in this forum have deleted my efforts to converse without the benefit of a response. I give thanks, because I don't want someone that has so little respect for themselves that they treat others that way, contacting me. On the other hand, several women have been very courteous and simply said something like "not interested' or "no thank you", showing they are polite and well-mannered ladies.
I don't have a great job, but I rate myself in the top 20% of wage earners in Maine, easily. I can tell you also, that if a woman needs a man that has a great job, she is not looking for love she is looking for a meal ticket. You ought to be thankful that these women don't want you, you are the person that comes out ahead.
As far as the issue addressed by the topic, I think it is really up to the person writing the profile to determine whether they are a few pounds over or not. I have met some hefty folks that could run circles around the thin crowd, mostly because the thin crowd stays thin by burning energy in the form of fat, to kill the toxins introduced from cigarettes or alcohol [this is not all inclusive of course]. A person that is overweight may see themselves as a few pounds over what they consider normal, if they were overweight from childhood. A slender person that gets a little pot belly may feel fat, even though their fat content is almost non-existent. The matter of body type is really a very subjective topic.
WYSIWYG | |
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| oh just a few extra pounds and a few other things that bug me
Posted: 5/21/2007 7:23:56 PM | I guess I'll step into the forum... though it's half dead. But why not.
I agree with the OP only in the regard that I expect honesty from who I'm dealing with. But that's also a matter of perspective. To one person, a "few" is 5, to another it's 20.
But while we're on the subject of honesty, I'll tell you one thing I've learned through my short experience with dating. While I was with someone, I used to hear all the time from women friends and others (I tend to talk to random people a lot) about how they want a man who will talk, and listen, and who is in touch with his feelings.
Hellllooooo. Here I am. *waves frantically*
Ladies, it's real important that when you say stuff like that to a guy, that you really mean it. There's a lot of people like me, male and female, languishing because you say that above all you want truth, and honesty, and trust, and yadda yadda. But when it all comes down to it, I have found less that appreciate that, and more that find it "feminine", "gay", or "wussy". People wonder why guys like me are slow to ask for dates... we have been kicked around enough in our life. Dating is a chore to be endured until we find the person who says they want that kind of man and actually MEANS it.
At any rate. If you happen to be that rare breed that wants a relationship built on trust, and not how much you weigh or whether or not you meet some blasted textbook definition of "attractive", hit me up sometime. | |
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| oh just a few extra pounds and a few other things that bug me
Posted: 7/4/2007 1:10:43 PM | | Right on guys! I know this is all a tough thing to do. But do we have to make it tougher? Hey, take a look at the profiles. I thought Superman was a fictional character! Some are confusing...." if you are between 6 feet and 100 years old just pass me by." Huh!!? It gets that weird sometimes. One even said "you should have 2% body fat." I thought that one was amazing. People with 2% body fat probably wouldn't need the internet to find a date. Oh, and speaking of weight descriptions, The category only says "a few extra pounds," not "an unbelievable amount of extra weight" or whatever. I guess that should be addressed in the narrative. Just a couple of thoughts. | |
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| oh just a few extra pounds and a few other things that bug me
Posted: 7/29/2007 1:48:38 PM | | You make a very good point, quelgash... I think there is an expectation that we know how to articulate what we want, yet so many of us are regularly disappointed by getting what we though we wanted... cryptic enough? :) I'm a big woman, definitely more than a "few extra pounds" overweight, but I'm in terrific physical condition, I'm more active than most people I know and have a very well proportioned figure. No one enjoys being judged by their physique (except maybe the gorgeous and fit folks). i always thought I was attracted to tall guys with broad shoulders, but that is mostly because of my own insecurities - big guy makes me feel smaller :) The reality is that I've dated guys much smaller than me because they were comfortable with themselves and comfortable with me. Self confidence lends more to attractiveness than physique in my opinion. | |
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| oh just a few extra pounds and a few other things that bug me
Posted: 12/19/2007 2:13:57 PM | HHHMMM...well, being honest is very important, but really, for me, I could fall in love with a guy thats bigger than average, if he has a great personality. And confidence is sexy too! Beauty really is in the eye of the beholder. Personality is soooo important to me though! Ive met some really good looking men, who have totally turned me off with their self-loving-narcissistic personalities. There are plenty of bigger beautiful people out there, some who have way more confidence than me, and I think they are so awsome and beautiful for that!
But if your going to meet someone online, and are telling people something about yourself, you really just need to be honest...thats all, whether its about your age, sex, location, married, anorexic, overweight...etc...
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| oh just a few extra pounds and a few other things that bug me
Posted: 6/3/2008 6:40:32 PM | | I guess I am still confused about how much is too much on this poundage issue. Some people look at me when I tell them I want to lose 50 pounds and they say "from where?" Others just agree that if that is what I think I should lose, then I should go for it. I know that it would be nice to get back to 120 pounds but at 50 years old I may not get there. I am healthy as can be and will probably live forever so there is no medical reason to lose the weight. I think the most important thing is to realize that looks are such a fleeting thing - Someone that you have been really attracted to can get into a car accident or have some other look-changing thing happen and what are you going to do - leave them? They have not changed on the inside a bit. You will grow older and maybe fatter - you might not even be such a prize yourself right now. And none of us knows what is right around the corner in life, nevermind in a few years. They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but I know for a fact that beauty is in the heart of the person who loves. So I guess I would be considered fat by some and others would be jealous of what I look like. In my profile I describe myself as "not skinny and not a gym bunny" - I hope that is enough. | |
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