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 AUTHOR
 atl_misses
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 1
Why Do Some Men Deny Their Children?Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
I want to know why a man who knows he is the father of a child would deny that child? Are men really that low down. You was man enough to man him/her so man up and take care of the child. Kids need their father too. So my question is why? Is to to get out of paying child support? To piss off the mother? Or just because they are sorry excuses for men? Why not tell the female that is what you will do before they even get into the relationship.
 ArchDemon
Joined: 3/9/2006
Msg: 2
Why Do Some Men Deny Their Children?
Posted: 3/15/2006 2:56:53 PM
atl,

Given the despicable way I have seen many men treated by their ex wives using their children against them, I am shocked more men do not deny their children.

I sure as heck have been tempted.
 Vorax
Joined: 3/6/2006
Msg: 3
Why Do Some Men Deny Their Children?
Posted: 3/15/2006 2:57:36 PM
Because they are selfish ***holes. Not all men are like that, really.
 Thejerrk
Joined: 1/13/2006
Msg: 4
Why Do Some Men Deny Their Children?
Posted: 3/15/2006 2:58:14 PM
Why is it that women deny men of access to thier daddys? Is it cause the woman feels she doesnt need him? To get back at him? To punnish the child? This Question you asked is pathetic. Oh and even If the man doesnt want to see the kid he still legally must pay.
DELETE!!!
 woozoo
Joined: 6/14/2005
Msg: 5
Why Do Some Men Deny Their Children?
Posted: 3/15/2006 3:02:19 PM

I want to know why a man who knows he is the father of a child would deny that child? Are men really that low down.


Nope. Just that guy!
 ArchDemon
Joined: 3/9/2006
Msg: 6
Why Do Some Men Deny Their Children?
Posted: 3/15/2006 3:06:04 PM
atl,

After watching a lot of maury povitch, unless we were married, it is not mine until the DNA test says it is.

Women lie about paternity about 10000000 times a day, every day.

Woman: I am 769% sure that this man is the father
Maury: Test reveals: not the father!
Woman: wah! (runs backstage)

Next episode:

Maury: Which of these 6 new men will be the father?
 SweetAngel2169
Joined: 3/2/2006
Msg: 7
Why Do Some Men Deny Their Children?
Posted: 3/15/2006 3:33:40 PM
i know men that accept their children are theres, but they take no responsibilities for them, Like come on, if you arent gonna grow up and help take care of your children THAT YOU HELP CREATE .. then keep your damn pants on!
 justadude43
Joined: 3/8/2006
Msg: 8
Why Do Some Men Deny Their Children?
Posted: 3/15/2006 3:37:14 PM
I agree with arcdemon.....My x will do that and I pay my cs
 4everDreaming
Joined: 1/8/2006
Msg: 9
Why Do Some Men Deny Their Children?
Posted: 3/15/2006 3:45:01 PM
I think for all those reasons and more misses honestly. 2 of my friends had a child together 13 years ago, it was not until last year that he finally went for a paternity test which of course concluded he was the father, everyone including him knew he was the father but he was still surprised by the results. I think he thought if he convinced himself of it long enough it would somehow change. Even 13 years later he is not ready or capable of being a father. Sadly it is not his only child and he is not in any of theirs lives and does not contribute. I myself have to wonder how he can blind so many women? Some choices dont always work out the way we thought they would and no matter how much we analyze it each individual is different, there are even some women who behave this way. When you can not take responsibility for your own life you cant really take responsibilty for the ones you create either. Hopefully one parent is responsible and can shoulder the weight and point the child in the right direction so the cycle is not continued.
 SpunGlass
Joined: 2/21/2006
Msg: 10
Why Do Some Men Deny Their Children?
Posted: 3/15/2006 3:58:35 PM
Okay..for this one I have to get a bit angry. I have never gone after my ex for proper support..have only ever asked him to contribute to their Education Fund...proper, registered, and he has copies of the papers. He had full access, didn't bother half the time. We lived in the states...not together, but close enough for him to have full access. Once he met someone he wanted to live with again..ironically enough with a child of her own...the visits with his boys became fewer and far between. I made the decision to move back home to Canada where the boys DO have extended family (his parents and I are still close, and they see the boys often)...he was LIVID! Once the anger wore off, now he barely even calls them. SOOOOO....yes...all women are b*tches and try to screw around their exes..hmmm...sorry but? I disagree.
 SpunGlass
Joined: 2/21/2006
Msg: 11
Why Do Some Men Deny Their Children?
Posted: 3/15/2006 4:00:01 PM
PS 1littleflick...thank you for such a great post.
 Ricco man
Joined: 1/12/2006
Msg: 12
Why Do Some Men Deny Their Children?
Posted: 3/15/2006 4:06:04 PM
I had an experience that some men don't usually go through. I would never deny my child. But my ex-wife denied me. After we split up, (because of her drug use, sleep around and constant disrespect for the laws) she denied my paternity. She went out and said someone else was the father so I could not go for custody of my daughter. This coming from a woman for the first year of my daughters birth never took care of her while I was at home. I would wake up a 6:00 every morning with my daughter and take care of her until I left for work at 2:00. Then come home at 11:00 and put her to sleep and wake up at night with her. My ex-wife never worked, but felt that I should be the only to take care of my daughter. She would leave when I go home from work and go out until 9-10 o'clock in the morning and sleep until I left for work. My daughter and I have a bond like most fathers don't. So when I said I want to take my daughter she started her crap with me saying she wasn't mine, just so she can collect welfare and not be forced to look for a job. So if you can get the idea of my little story you can see why some men deny the paternity of thier kids. Its not the child, or the support. Its the mother and the head games that they play. I wouldn't do it, but after what I have gone through (and still am) I can understand
 ¬©hristina
Joined: 2/19/2006
Msg: 13
Why Do Some Men Deny Their Children?
Posted: 3/15/2006 4:08:02 PM
Some men are just pathetic. So are some women.

My ex has had nothing to do with my son from the day we found out I was pregnant. At one point suggested we get back together but that I give up the baby because he doesn't want to be a daddy..he changed his mind. Not once in all my pregnancy or my sons first two years of life did that man (a term I will use loosely) ever try to see his son, contribute to his son... NOTHING.. Even went so far as to quit his job and go on social services so his wages wouldn't be garnished for child support.

All that being said, the month my son turned two, I moved to the Windsor area to be closer to my family. My ex was furious, telling anyone who would listen that by me moving I was depriving him of a relationship with his child.. the child he has never even met.

When his own mother (who I am on good terms with) suggested he make the drive down to see his son once in a while he complained that he can't because it is too far. And yet he drives to Red Wings games regualrly.. which is half an hour PAST my house... funny how hockey is more important than his own flesh and blood.

There is no point in rationalizing it.. there is no good reason not to be a part of your childs life. Unless of course the courts or a mean-spirited custodial parent stand in the way.
 SpunGlass
Joined: 2/21/2006
Msg: 14
Why Do Some Men Deny Their Children?
Posted: 3/15/2006 4:10:45 PM
Ricco...you need to fight harder. You can demand a paternity test, and have everything you need to be able to take control. And please...don't get me wrong. I don't for one second believe all men are the root of evil...I just get thoroughly pissed at the ones that stereotype all women. I'm willing to bet that if we were able to poll on here...you wouldn't find too many fathers that have to worry about paying a sitter in order to be able to go on a date...or having to explain to their kids why 'Mommy' is too busy for them, but is living with another woman's child...etc etc. I bet half the mothers on here wouldn't be here if they didn't take being a parent so seriously. The types of fathers this post was about, have never looked back.
 Fran_Gal
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 15
Why Do Some Men Deny Their Children?
Posted: 3/15/2006 4:14:27 PM
I guess they are trying to avoid taking responsibility

some women do it too... people even kill babies for this

sad huh?

;(
 gemini3232
Joined: 5/2/2005
Msg: 16
Why Do Some Men Deny Their Children?
Posted: 3/15/2006 4:15:50 PM
This is a very bad subject to make generalizations on. Simply because there is so much bs that happens behind that scenes. After my experience, I would recommend never to judge either party in the situation unless you see something very extreme personally.

The current set of legal circumstances is a mess. It enables people to use the law to enact punishment for personal vendattas (i.e. angry over a broken relationship). I am a guy with a child in this circumstance, which I went through hell for, however I will say this. There was about a 1000 times where I was ready to throw in the towel because my ex had only one objective, to exert as much pain and agony as humanly possible, all the while while telling people around us a different tale than was the truth.

This is a circumstance that is impossible to relate unless you have been through it, but for those who have, they can relate to this. Sometimes you are dealt so much pain, that you have to chose whether to continue with the pain and go down the drain yourself, or you walk away and try to be a functional human being. I would never wish my experience on my worst enemy. I didn't walk away, but I would not judge someone if they did....it was that messed up!
 wahya
Joined: 3/1/2006
Msg: 17
view profile
History
Why Do Some Men Deny Their Children?
Posted: 3/15/2006 4:16:11 PM
I could really go into how my ex used the children, but won't go there. And all the years my children heard stories, I never once said a bad thing to them about their mother. And one day, they found out the truth, from someone on their mother's side of the family! It is easy to become a father, but being a dad is something else, and my kids know that I am always here for them...some go beyond what is needed.....and there are women who are as bad as some of the guys!
 SpunGlass
Joined: 2/21/2006
Msg: 18
Why Do Some Men Deny Their Children?
Posted: 3/15/2006 5:07:21 PM
I agree with you guys..I think it's criminal how some women do these things..but? There ARE women out there that have these things happen, and are held 'hostage' by their exes WITHOUT the legal battles even started. I think that's what the original post was about..and the first few posts from men were slamming women in general..as with everything else in life, people have to stand back and know who they're talking about before making such harsh evaluations.
 chicadog
Joined: 3/11/2006
Msg: 19
Why Do Some Men Deny Their Children?
Posted: 3/15/2006 5:35:52 PM
atl misses: first of all, a man doesn't necessarily KNOW he is the father
without a paternity test. a man will however deny his child for the reasons
you mentioned, and then some, i.e. child support and being a sorry excuse for
a man, not wanting to take the responsibility, etc...
obviously they are not going to tell you this up front and it does take
two people to create a life. in my opinion, if a so called "man" is going to react
this way to a new life being born than he does not deserve the title of "father"
and that child really doesn't NEED him and will be better off with a loving, caring,
supportive mother to raise him or her! kids don't always NEED the other parent.
depends on who that person is! people have choices.
 sammysalt1
Joined: 12/17/2005
Msg: 20
Why Do Some Men Deny Their Children?
Posted: 3/15/2006 5:40:55 PM
I asked my son father that once after 18 years, and all he said was he was stupid. Thats all he said.
There wasn't no reason for it other than he was stupid. ..............I already knew that.
 atl_misses
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 21
Why Do Some Men Deny Their Children?
Posted: 3/15/2006 6:17:42 PM
Notice i said if he KNOW'S he's the father. Never did he deny his children UNTIL i took him to court to get child support. A paternity test was ordered and he didn't even show up to take it. He didn't want to waste 500+ dollars. Yeah some women are bad, but we aren't talking about them.
 sweettalkingwoman
Joined: 3/3/2006
Msg: 22
Why Do Some Men Deny Their Children?
Posted: 3/15/2006 6:23:55 PM
The piece that is missing is that the law does not provide equal choice for men, thereby giving them no recourse but to flee.

A woman can get pregnant and choose to have that pregnancy aborted if we choose to, or put the baby up for adoption. In other words, if a woman gets pregnant we have the recourse if we do not want to be a parent. A man, on the other hand, is saddled with the attachment to the mother and the financial burden for 18 years even if he does not want the baby.

The answer is to allow men to sign away their rights as a father within, for example, the first 8 - 12 weeks provided he was informed of the pregnancy. This means he has no custody, visitation or financial obligation. If the woman chooses to keep the child knowing she will not be supported in any manner by the father, then that is her choice. That would make the issue more balanced and fair; not to mention the congestion that would be removed from the courts.

It take two people to create a child, yet only the woman has choice over the exsistence of the child, and it is not fair. If the father of my child wanted to run prior to the birth, then I am fine with that. As long as I know I am going to be taking on this responsibility alone, I can prepare for it, or choose not to.
 atl_misses
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 23
Why Do Some Men Deny Their Children?
Posted: 3/15/2006 6:35:21 PM
Why is everyone comming down so hard on the woman. Sorry behind men need to be held accountable for their actions. What yall do not know about this case is
1. He was there the whole time while i was pregnant. Calling me every day. He got me pregnant on purpose. W/o my knowlege.

2. He paid child support. Most of the time with threat of legal action.

3. Never once did i say he could not see his child. He can do that whenever he wants.

4. Never once did he deny his child UNTIL i tried to get a court order for child support. Then and only then was the child not his.

Why pay child support for a child that is not yours? Why try and still get back with me if i'm a whore? It's not his child when he finds out that we won't ever be together again.

If he really felt that way he could have been a man and said hey i don't know if the child is mine i want a paternity test. Why is the first time i here about it in court. Come on.
 rop1964
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 24
Why Do Some Men Deny Their Children?
Posted: 3/15/2006 6:35:47 PM
many reason goes for denying child affiliation.. from cheating to not being adult enough to be a father.. in all case , a woman should always test the field and ask often to their dates/boyfriend/lover if he want children, and have a test run with a doll.. for a few weeks.

if the guy cant help his partner, or neglect his duty.. he dont deserve to be a father.. that s my opinion.

of course, some guys just get cold feet, and when they actually become father, they crumble to stress, but those (i hope) are rare..
 jim9660
Joined: 10/21/2005
Msg: 25
Why Do Some Men Deny Their Children?
Posted: 3/15/2006 7:05:47 PM
Same reason why some women do it. Two friends I know had their wives upand leave for another guy leaving the kids behind with no explanations. One didn't even contact her kids for 6 months.
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