| | I am thinking of leaving POFPage 1 of 3 (1, 2, 3) | POF has been nothing but bad for me.
All the lies, stand ups, and the contacts that never contact...
I mean...nice guys get crapped on in the world? But here too???
I have alot of love to give. I am not looking for a one night stand, and I am not a play boy.
Why do you women not care about us nice guys that would do the world for you??? | |
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| I am thinking of leaving POF
Posted: 3/19/2006 9:30:08 PM | Cause women are people too. Some are great people while others maybe not so great. I personally have had nothing but great experiences but then again, apples and oranges. I'm 42, currently separated, I have some baggage and that pulls the plug on me in many women's eyes...I'm content chatting and going about my day with the hope of meeting someone special and we click. I'm sure some women would say the men on here are all jerks. Take the good with the bad...that's life. Afterall, if you're that impatient, you're bound to get disappointed.
Stick around if you want, it might be worth it! | |
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| I am thinking of leaving POF
Posted: 3/19/2006 9:33:51 PM | I can't imagine why anyone wouldn't like you.
Your profile is so upbeat and positive. Hell, I'm a straight guy, and I wanted to ask you out. | |
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| I am thinking of leaving POF
Posted: 3/19/2006 9:48:13 PM | OP, just in case you're wondering, molonel is being sarcastic!
(Take a look at his profile - he managed to land someone, so surely you can too, hehe...)
In this world you have to put your best foot forward (advice I always forget to take, but it's still true). Considering that anyone with a computer can correspond with you, you may not be happy with the responses you receive. However, don't refer to those responses in your profile - stay upbeat. Your pictures are fine and you've listed your likes and dislikes too.
I have the impression from reading the forums that young pretty women get a lot of mail and can afford to treat men badly. So keep that in mind. At least POF gives you a wider pool of women to contact than you would have without it. So anticipate some problems and don't let the disappointing responses get to you. | |
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| I am thinking of leaving POF
Posted: 3/19/2006 9:51:10 PM | I'm thinking of leaving POF for other reasons, nothing to do with the general poulation in the pool. But I have been stood up too, ain't it FUN! I always bring a book to dates, and have an attitude that I will enjoy myself no matter what.
I've been on POF for quite a while now and I have met a few decent people. As in any group of indeviduals there are good folks and not so good folks. So you smile at the good folks and ignore the not so good. Think of it as a party, put on your best, be charming and ignore the killjoys. Negativity sucks. Party on.
Oh yea, and open your window just a little, your age restriction could be keeping out the perfect woman for you. | |
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Cybury
| | Joined: 12/13/2005
Msg: 7 | |
| I am thinking of leaving POF
Posted: 3/19/2006 9:54:15 PM | oh look everyone... its the weekly "nice Guy thread"
good thing no-one has brought this question up before
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| I am thinking of leaving POF
Posted: 3/19/2006 9:55:45 PM | Alright dude, here it is... we all have good and bad luck... things sometimes go great and sometimes not so good... you cannot give up so easily... there are teasers out here, and there are pleasers... your time will come, just stick it out...
BUT... I am going to tell you right now that you are not doing yourself one favour with that profile you have there... so much negativity... no one wants to come close to that... you are screaming Jaded... fix that profile, make it positive... people are drawn to people who are positive and happy.... leave the ****ing and complaining for yout friends... do not air your laundry where everyone can see it...
Remember, dating is selling yourself... you never see a car dealership with all it's beater cars on the front of their property... they are always out of sight...
Good luck out here... | |
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| I am thinking of leaving POF
Posted: 3/19/2006 10:10:00 PM | I left once for about a month. I had a pretty good profile, with some well take pics. It seems like I got a lot of emails but never really "clicked" with anyone. So I took it a little personal and erased my profile.
Now I'm back with a crapy profile and no pics and find the POF dating system more enjoyable.
Somethings I try to remind myself...
How long have you been on it....I've heard of some people being on POF for as long as a year
before meeting someone they like.
Are the people I'm contacing in my area....when I was on here last time 75% of my contacts were in other states | |
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| I am thinking of leaving POF
Posted: 3/20/2006 1:53:02 AM | | Your profile sounds a bit on the down side honey..it's like a Marketing ad..it does not have a certain..positive quality..you need to dump the "oh woo is me..thing"..whining does not work..it's sounds like your being TOO honest..TOO down on your luck..If you DO work out as you say in your profile..you would not have that kind of attitude..eat the right foods, work out and don't get desparate.. | |
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| I am thinking of leaving POF
Posted: 3/20/2006 4:05:30 AM | After you've listened to all these people's great advice about your profile.....start to also be aware of not looking desperate either........women hate that stuff..... | |
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| I am thinking of leaving POF
Posted: 3/20/2006 6:40:17 AM | Ok, here's my question. The whole Angry Nice Guy phenomenon is just getting really popular and obvious. I don't think the word "craze" would be misused. So tell me this. Is it possible to be such a super nice guy to begin with, and then so quickly turn into an embittered, nasty get-away-from-me-you-b*tches guy?
I'm talking about all the Angry Nice Guys now. Is such an oxymoron even possible? | |
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Cybury
| | Joined: 12/13/2005
Msg: 14 | |
| I am thinking of leaving POF
Posted: 3/20/2006 7:18:19 AM | hi D'
Angry Nice Guys... or just frustrated Nice Guys
thats the question. For many that come here they feel they have selfworth and much to offer but after a few months of being Read/Deleted or just plain ignored you start to have self doubt about who you are and what women or men really want.. oh yea everyone say's all these nice things about what they are looking for but reality is that they take one look at your pic and if your not perfect then they don't even take the time to find out if you are worthy of their attention. and yes this goes for both men and women.
you have heard me say this before and I still maintain it, in order for this to be successful we need to stop worrying about what's in it for us and start focusing on what we have to offer. also we need to give others a chance
oh and a little respect and politness to each other might be the place to start | |
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| I am thinking of leaving POF
Posted: 3/20/2006 7:23:15 AM | well, i was told by a friend the reason i didn't get a GF was because i was "too nice"...that shocked me, cause i never thought about it that way. I spent about a few years believing that...But, as soon as i started getting bisted and twitter about my bad luck i had a thought: "wait a sec! does that mean every guy with a GF is not a nice guy?"
at that point the entire issue was silly. Taking a fresh look at the "nice guy" routine led me to believe it wasn't a stereotype that turned women off. But, my actual desire NOT to be with anyone. Didn't take me long after that to figure out WHY i'd chosen to be single.
Once i did some deep self-reflection (which was pretty honest and thus embarrassing) i started to want to 'date'...course, it took me since sept '05 to figure out what kind of 'dating' style was right for me.
I'm sure i could be an Angry Nice Guy and whine about how there's so many players, headgame, drama, baggage, chemistry, etc...but, why? i mean, that's just sulking. Not to mention flagrant self-promotion of the "charity case" looking for a sympathy screw.
So, a truly "nice guy" is honest enough to ask the really embarrassing questions of himself without having to stoop to petty self-aggrandizement via whiny pouty forum threads. It's not an oxymoron - it's just plain being an "OX MORON"
THERE! NOW I CAN CUT AND PASTE THIS INTO ALL THE NICE GUY THREADS. HAAHAAA | |
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| I am thinking of leaving POF
Posted: 3/20/2006 7:58:49 AM | OK well guys .... doesn't the "nice guy" characterization hail from the old joke about the blind date/set up ... Q. "Well is she good looking??" A. "Well ... she's really .... *NICE*" Q. "OK, but is she HOT?" A. "Well ... she's really .... smart."
How would you rank these guys in terms of how they do with women (I'm just listing, my list is not rank ordered):
1. Attactive nice guys.
2. Attractive nasty guys.
3. Unattractive nice guys.
4. Unattractive nasty guys.
And by nasty I'm not talking has an earring, I'm talking the characterological opposite of a nice guy. | |
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Cybury
| | Joined: 12/13/2005
Msg: 18 | |
| I am thinking of leaving POF
Posted: 3/20/2006 8:06:16 AM | @S_Davina
I always liked the line, "is she hot"... well she has a great personality
your rating question... can you also apply it to nice women too. I bet they have just as hard of a time here as the nice guys do. | |
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Cybury
| | Joined: 12/13/2005
Msg: 19 | |
| I am thinking of leaving POF
Posted: 3/20/2006 8:08:18 AM | oh and my ratings..
1. Attactive nice guys.---- 2
2. Attractive nasty guys.---- 1
3. Unattractive nice guys.---- 0
4. Unattractive nasty guys.---- 0 | |
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| I am thinking of leaving POF
Posted: 3/20/2006 8:14:35 AM |
your rating question... can you also apply it to nice women too. I bet they have just as hard of a time here as the nice guys do.
Absolutely!
Are there women who feel rejected because they're "too nice", though? | |
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Snow_7
| | Joined: 7/28/2005
Msg: 21 | |
| I am thinking of leaving POF
Posted: 3/20/2006 11:27:03 AM | YES! I have had this happen on many occasions, guy dumps me because he doesn't love me, falls in love with a B!TCH! I am still holding on to being nice though, because I want to treat people the way I want to be treated and I don't want a man who needs a nasty dominearing woman to keep him in line. I have theories on why some of these guys need this dynamic:
1)It alows them the freedom to bust out on occasion and say "Well My old lady is so mean, I have to let off steam some how."
2) They need a mommy figure or someone to tell them what to do and how to do it because they have no direction.
3) They like the challange.
This is all simplified, but you get the picture.
That is all good for them, I don't want it, I won't play it, and I know that there is someone who is just right for me out there somewhere. He will be delighted when we meet. So will I. Until then I am a happy person and my friends tell me I bless their lives in many ways. I smile and I sing on a regular basis. Life is good.  | |
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| I am thinking of leaving POF
Posted: 3/20/2006 4:17:19 PM | | I can feel you there. Perhaps thats why I just come here to browse and read the jokes... eventually love will find you.... It always does when you arent looking.... Its kinda sad depressing profiles are so often ignored. Mine is written quite depressing. Its just a reflection of how I feel deep down. I could be the happy upbeat person that I reflect to those around me, but I would rather "connect" with somebody on a level not so superficial. You know? | |
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Raven1
| | Joined: 9/14/2004
Msg: 24 | |
| I am thinking of leaving POF
Posted: 3/20/2006 10:15:39 PM |
If you DO work out as you say in your profile..you would not have that kind of attitude..eat the right foods, work out and don't get desparate..
WTF?
What's that supposed to mean?/Have to do with anything? | |
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| I am thinking of leaving POF
Posted: 3/20/2006 10:15:55 PM | How would you rank these guys in terms of how they do with women (I'm just listing, my list is not rank ordered): rating is 0-5
1. Attactive nice guys.----3---these guys get told time and time again they are boring, women will like them in the beginning but alot leave from the boring ways
2. Attractive nasty guys.---4--these guys just play thier cards the right way and get the women easier, may not last long with each but they do get them.
3. Unattractive nice guys.---0---well they lack in looks so that is where it all stops for them, even though they could be chanrming and sweet, no attraction the women are bound to avoid them
4. Unattractive nasty guys.---2---still these guys are what many women still are attracted to, the arrogant, exciting guy. May be unattarctive but is bold and blunt ways are an appeal to many women.
Also OP, sometimes dating is not for all, and dating sites are not either. Lots of criticizing and blunt rudeness is on these sites. | |
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